My English essay:

I remember when I was supposed to write a story about a time that I did something that I shouldn’t have done. I could have written an “emotional honesty” filled paper, but instead I wrote a half-assed paragraph about the presentation. Why? Because I am a bitter, sarcastic person who can’t force myself to do something that my brain deems pointless. If my brain isn’t sufficiently motivated, I simply can’t do the best job I can do. When I was assigned a reaction paper about law and civilization it took me three hours to write a total of twelve sentences. Anyways, the consequences of my actions were that I could have gotten a bad grade on it, or I could have been hunted down and told to write a new one. In conclusion, I am sorry if you are offended, but I hope this essay will satisfy you. If it doesn’t, I am more than happy to write another.