The Improv AllStars at the MGM Grand, Las Vegas, 25 January 2003, 8:00pm The show started a few minutes late, but it was very well worth the wait. Tonight's cast was: Greg Proops, Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Chip Esten, Brad Sherwood, Jeff Davis, Kathy Kinney, Julie Larson, Sean Masterson, with Laura Hall and Linda Taylor. To start with, I'll go over what everyone was wearing. Greg was in a black suit, with black shirt and no tie. Drew had on khakis that were almost white, and a light blue sweater. Ryan was wearing dark grey pants with a blue dress shirt, and his blue shoes. Colin had on black pants with a tan / brownish shirt, untucked. Chip was in all black. Brad was also in all black, but his shirt (untucked) had pink flowers (I think) all over it. Jeff had on black pants, a black shirt with big red lips (like the Rocky Horror lips) on it, and a black jacket. He had black Converse All-Stars on as well. Kathy had on black pants with a black shirt that had a gold border around the bottom and gold moons on it. Julie had on jeans and a white oxford shirt. Sean was wearing brown pants and a blue shirt, untucked. Laura had on a black dress. Linda had on dark grey pants with a long, light grey jacket. The show began with Drew doing the opening standup for about 10 minutes. It was very good, though I'd heard most of it before. Most of what he said was political in nature, though he talked about his new girlfriend, his weight, and took some shots at the MGM. When he brought everyone on stage, Laura and Linda began playing music and they all danced. The first game was Questions Only, introduced by Drew. In this game, the audience must act as the buzzer, buzzing out statements. The scene was "at a beach." Chip and Jeff started. Julie replaced Chip, then Greg replaced Jeff. Brad replaced Julie. At this point, the guys were getting pissed off at the audience for buzzing them when they used questions, so Brad flicked off the whole audience. At one point Greg said, "What's with the seagulls?" Brad responded, "Have you ever seen a dumber group of seagulls?" Greg took himself out with a statement, which went unnoticed by the audience, giving him another opportunity for a shot at us. He was replaced by Kathy. Brad was replaced by Colin, who got lots of cheers. Sean replaced Kathy, and then Ryan replaced Sean (to just as many cheers as Colin had gotten). Drew then replaced Colin, and the game ended. The next game was New Choice, introduced by Brad. He asked the audience for the name of a ficticious store, and chose Zodie's, which turned out to be a lingerie store. Julie and Kathy played, with Brad calling. The next game played was Moving People, introduced by Chip. Greg and Jeff played. The audience suggested "Man's Day" as the made-up holiday they were to be celebrating. At one point, the volunteers (whose names I don't remember) had the two walking (to get pizza, I think). Greg said, "Why are you walking so funny?" Jeff answered, "I'm getting in touch with my feminine side." To which Greg responded, "I'm about to get in touch with her feminine side," referring to Jeff's volunteer. Greatest Hits was played next, introduced by Jeff. He took "moose herder" as the suggestion for "unusual profession." Colin and Ryan sold the CD, with Chip, Jeff, and Brad singing. The first song was "That One's Road Kill," in the style of "young angry rock." The next style, funk, led to a lot of back-and-forth between Colin and Ryan ("I was much better at funking back then" and "So you were a motherfunker?" etc.). The song was "Loving You is Like Milking a Moose." The final syle was The Doors, and the song was "If You Were a Bit Shorter, I'd Call You Susan." This was an incredible song, very much like the Doors might have done it. Chip, Jeff, and Brad were on fire during this game. They were amazing. The next game was Sentences, introduced by Greg. He took "Barbary Coast" as the name of a ficticious soap opera. (Drew: "So it's a cheap casino and a soap opera?") Sean and Drew played, and they seemed to have a hard time keeping a soap opera style scene going. The sentences, as written by audience members in the first section, didn't help. They were: "Can I get starch for these shirts?" "Have you seen the spot on Drew's shirt?" "Why would you ever live in Minnesota?" "Don't sweat it." "What do you think of Jesse Ventura?" "Your hair looks fake." "What's your sign?" "How's it hangin'?" "God, it hurts when I pee." "Nice rack!" The next game was Styles. Jeff introduced it, and asked a woman in the front row what she had wanted to be (when she was little) when she grew up. She answered math teacher, which got a yawn from Jeff. The scene was played by Kathy, Chip, and Colin, with Chip as the teacher and the other two as students. The styles were action movie, Shakespeare, children's book, Mel Gibson-directed movie, Quentin Tarantino movie, and the porn version of The Sound of Music. Freeze Tag was one of the best games of the evening. Kathy introduced it, and Greg and Ryan started. Greg's position was "having a baby," and Ryan's was "sitting on a toilet." Poor Greg laid on his back with his legs in the air for nearly the entire game. He became a slot machine at one point, with Jeff (I think) putting a quarter in Greg's butt, pulling on his leg, and collecting the winnings. Ryan at one point spun Greg around so his legs were facing the audience and said "This episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by the letter O." Greg also became Rita Rudner (the ad for her which is everywhere in Vegas features her doing the splits), a boy being molested by a priest, and other things. He was mostly quiet while he was on his back. Towards the end of the game, Ryan finally tagged Greg out and managed to get into a kneeling position. Greg tagged out Ryan, and took his place kneeling. Drew was also in the game at this point. Greg began spitting on the floor, looked at Drew and said, "So do I get the show again next year, Mr. Carey?" and spat on the floor, trying to rid his mouth of something that apparently tasted quite awful ; ) The next game was Sound Effects, introduced by Sean. The audience members picked were Tommy, who did the sound effects for Brad, and Julie, who did the sound effects for Ryan. This game was kind of ho-hum, since Tommy and Julie were quiet and didn't give Ryan and Brad much to work with. Jeopardy was next, introduced and hosted by Colin. Ryan's character was Felix; Julie was Edna, a 62-year-old cocktail waitress at Caesar's Palace; Drew was Chad, a 21-year-old in Vegas for the first time; and Greg was Manny Gans, brother of Danny Gans (a Vegas impressionist.) He said, "He's the man of a thousand voices, and I'm the man of... half a dozen." Colin asked what his best impression was, and Greg responded with a non-spellable Scooby Doo noise. The first category was "Strange Animals," and the answer was "Platypus." Drew came up with, "What would I fuck after the show if I could?" Greg came up with, "What did I see Chad fucking before the show?" Colin declared them both to be right, and Greg picked "Famous American Presidents" as the next category. The answer was "Lincoln." Drew came up with "What is the first word in the name of my favorite band? ...(pause)... Linkin Park! WOOOO!" The next category was "Funny Names For Shots," and the answer was "Sex on the Beach." Ryan had "What has Chad never had?" and Greg had "What's a good way to get crabs?" The next category was "Foreign Words." I think the answer was "chateau," but it was hard to understand what Colin said. I don't remember the questions. The next category was "Countries I Can't Pronounce," and the answer was "Yugoslavia." Ryan buzzed to give a question, and Colin declared it to be double jeopardy, so Ryan had to give two questions. The first was "What's another way to say you-go-spit?" To which Colin said, "And now the funny answer." (I think Ryan then flicked off Colin, but I couldn't really see. Ryan had his left hand by his head, and Colin said, "Okay, I see it.") I honestly don't remember all of the second question that Ryan gave -- it was "What is a mispronunciation of (something)?" The next category was "Frilly Pink Things," and the answer was "tutus." Drew gave a question, which I don't remember. Ryan said something about the Olsen twins. Greg's question was "What is four?" The category for Final Jeopardy was "Unusual Foods." Ryan wagered one point. His answer was "Guacamole," and the question he came up with was "What sound does a raccoon make when it's sucked into a jet engine?" Colin looked at him funny, so Ryan said "guacamole" in such a perfect way that it sounded just like a raccoon in a jet engine. Julie, who had been pretty quiet during the game, wagered "six pairs of latex panties and a comb with hair in it." Her answer was "hummus." She gave (something to the effect of) "What do you do if you can't singus a song?" Drew wagered a picture of his buddy Ray, saying "I guess you have to know him." His answer was "artichoke," and the question he gave was "What is a pet name I have for jacking off?" Colin responded, "You name it Artie?" Greg wagered a (comedy) "sketch where Droopy Dog meets the Munchkin Man." His answer was "sweet bread." He stalled for a while, but finally came up with "What are Chad's balls?" Before we could learn who won, Ryan interrupted with "Can I go? I have to artichoke." Colin said, "Don't forget to clean up your yugoslavia when you're done." The next game was a song, introduced by Julie and sung by Brad and Chip, to Rebecca the bank manager, who was into tracing her family tree and basketball. She was not very helpful in giving the guys something to sing about, which Chip brought up in his lyrics. The style was R&B Ballad, as chosen by Julie. The final game of the evening was Mousetraps. If you've never seen it, this game is played by setting live mousetraps on the floor, having two players take off their shoes and socks, blindfolding said players, and letting them have at a scene. Brad set up the scene while the others set the traps on the floor. Greg held on to one while Brad talked, until he said "We have over 100 live..." (Greg threw the trap down, snapping it) "... 99 live mousetraps..." Sean and Drew played. The suggestion taken for "household chore, like sweeping the floor or dusting" was "mopping the floor," which, according to Brad, was indeed "very much like sweeping the floor." Every time Drew stepped on a trap, he'd scream "Fuck!" Several times the traps stuck to his toes, and he was clearly in pain. Towards the end of the scene, Drew took off his blindfold, and began trying to put traps in Sean's way. At this point, Sean, unaware of what Drew was doing, said "I think we have a trust problem here." The scene was capped off by Drew, blindfold removed, stepping on a trap which stuck onto his foot with a resounding snap, followed by a "fuck!" The show was fabulous. It lasted just under an hour and a half, and moved very quickly. In my opinion, Jeff, Chip, and Brad stole the show. They were on fire the whole night. Ryan seemed to be having an off night, although he did have several good moments. Bonus points to Colin for having the cleanest mouth. Quote of the evening award goes to Greg, for "You've got some fucked up fantasies, mister," to the guy who suggested "having a baby" as the position for freeze tag. Laura and Linda were outstanding, and in between every game they'd play and the guys would dance. It was an amazing, amazing time. My encounter with Greg on Friday was short but memorable. My mom and I were checking out the hotel after lunch (it was about 11) when I saw him. We called out to him (addressing him as Mr. Proops - trying to be polite), asked for picture and autograph. We told him where we were from and that we'd come quite a ways just to see him. He was so wonderfully nice, couldn't have been happier to do the autograph etc. I was a bit tongue tied while we were with him. He gets bonus points for asking how to spell my name (Stefanie)... so many people spell it wrong and don't care. He also asked me if I was in theatre.. which I'm not.. but I'm afraid I sounded like a bit of a dork. Shoulda told him about the screenplay I'm writing... like he'd believe me... Anyway, I was so impressed with him, I wrote him a thank you letter. Hehe. (If you're curious, at the time he was wearing black dress pants and a black long sleeved shirt that zipped up the last few inches. Very lovely. Smelled lovely too.) To me, he seems in real life to be taller and thinner than on TV. His voice sounded awful, very hoarse, but I don't know if he was sick, or his voice is strained, or it's just his smoking. His voice is higher pitched than I thought as well. He's a lovely man though, and I'd love to get to have a real conversation with him. We also saw Drew at the casino on Saturday afternoon. He was at the craps table, gambling with his girlfriend, who is very very pretty. He was wearing the same clothes he wore to the show. Although we stopped to watch, we didn't approach him. Questions? Need to clarify anything? srr2k@virginia.edu Back me up, Scotty. Right. 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