Greg Proops performing with the Comedy Sportz teams, at the 16th Annual Comedy Sportz Tournament, July 31st 2003. I went to the first show on Thursday - I would have gone to both, but had to bring along my dad and he didn't want to be downtown until midnight. The show rocked hard, and Greg rocked harder. He rules my universe. The first half was Eugene versus Madison, and the games were Story, Silent Tension, Change Emotions, First Line/Last Line, Shakespeare, and Freeze. (That may be out of order since I didn't write it down at the show.) The second half had Indianapolis versus Minneapolis. The games were Scene Switch, Comic Book, Dime Store Novel, Styles Replay, Musical, and World's Worst. (Again, out of order probably.) Jeff G-Man Menkin was the referee, and Jack Reda was the line judge. Greg was the designated jokester, and played in every game. He rocked super hard at all the games, but especially Shakespeare and Musical. I didn't take notes (stupid me) but I'll try to remember highlights from the various games. In Story, the story was entitled "The Amazing Bowling Alley." I remember Greg saying at the beginning of one chapter that the miniature golf course was silent and still (or something to that effect). His best lines were about his someone having a bigger putter than he, and then about his roommate having bigger balls than he (see, Greg had only putt-putt balls, while the roommate had bowling balls...). Greg was amazing at this game and clearly established his superiority over the other kids playing. He ended up losing though, because the last kid left from the other team had started saying something that Greg didn't understand when the ref pointed at him, so he stumbled over the word and lost the game. In Silent Tension, Greg and another kid started the scene in silence, and didn't speak until the tension had grown so much someone had to say something. The scene ended up being about a bartender (Greg) and a guy who couldn't pay his tab. The bartender agreed to comp his drinks all night if the guy would hold up a dartboard made out of brie. The best part of this scene: when Greg gave the "dartboard" to the other guy, he said that a group of irishmen were coming in for their big tournament and would be here "in 15 minutes." A few seconds later, he repeated that the irishmen were coming, and "if they were funny they'd be here by now." Change Emotions was a scene about blueberry pickers. They went through the scene employing various emotions as called out by Jeff (the referee). These emotions included: arrogance, fear, jubilation, hateful, angst, monkey, and lust. The look on Greg's face for the arrogance part was *perfect*. Absolutely perfect. First Line/Last Line was a scene based on the lines "How's the kitty?" and "Do you want butter with that?" This scene was great, because of the way Greg directed it. The scene started with two of the kids - one had run over the other's cat. Greg came out and arrested the offending kid, and sent him to "Dairy Jail." It was brilliant. Shakespeare was one game Greg ruled in, sheerly out of the size of his vocabulary. It is so clear that he knows what he is doing when it comes to Shakespeare - learned something while studying acting other than how to roll spliffs, eh? This scene was based on the title "The Sea Cow." Greg absolutely owned the stage for this game. Freeze was the last game of the first half. Greg didn't get too many chances to get into the scene - only maybe two or three. He did work in a joke about Clinton - one kid was lying on the ground and Greg tagged in to stand in front of him, saying "Well, I'm not president anymore..." in his so-rocking Clinton voice. On to the second half! The first game was Scene Switch. One team started a scene - it was about neighbors - and when "switch" was called the other team had to take over, keeping the same characters and keeping the scene going. I don't remember much about this scene, except that I think one of the girls on the Minneapolis team played her character specifically to get Greg's attention - she was his wife in the scene and was crying nearly the whole time. It did sound in this game like the floor was miked, and I don't know why. Comic Book was another game Greg rocked mightily in. His comic book was the Justice League of America, with special guest Justice League Europe. The scene was about a doctor and a woman giving birth, but I can't remember if that was suggested or just happened. One of the funniest parts was when Greg started reading the page about "Have you missed an issue? We probably have it!" It was great. Dime Store Novel was an interesting game. Greg had to write a novel, and the other players on the team would act out what he said. The novel was called "Dragons Don't Sing Opera." I don't remember it being particularly funny - because the girl playing the dragon who was trying to sing basically wouldn't sing. She did start singing, but not nearly loud enough to be heard. Styles Replay was *great*. The scene was about a sharktank, and the styles were film noir, kung fu musical, and horror. During the film noir scene, Greg got a bit upset because no body recognized his impression - and narrated, "I was doing a bad impression that nobody recognized." The kung fu musical wasn't very musical, but amusing none the less. The horror scene rocked. Greg rules at acting scared and screaming in a high pitched terrified voice. Musical was another game in which Greg rocked. The scene was about guacamole makers. Greg's Minneapolis accent was so great. His song about avocados ruled super amazing. It was in a '50s teen love song rock style. And anyone who says that man can't sing is lying. He works the stage so well while singing, too. It just ruled so much. Best line: "Grab an avocado and have a ball," sung while down on his knees and thrusting (in a non-perverted way) at the audience. The final game was World's Worst. The suggestions were orthodontist, duct tape, and one other. Greg's only line was for orthodontist: "I guess I was about 16 when I became fixated on pain." This game was just all right. So. Everyone had a rockin' good time. The place was packed. Greg didn't get any fouls except one, and it was a groaner foul. His line was "I may not know what I like but I know Art" (his name in the scene being Art). Instead of apologizing, however, he flicked off the audience and sat down. Woooo! I had been hoping to run into Greg at some point so that I could get him to sign the picture I have of us from Vegas. I didn't see him before the show, and he didn't come out with the other players at the end to shake hands. So, I asked Jeff to get Greg to sign my picture and also to give him a Jesus card I'd brought him (since I'd read he travels with pictures of Jesus and Buddha.. not being either religion, I didn't know if the card I brought was one he'd want). Anyway, Jeff told me and my dad to wait a second and he went into the green room to find Greg. A few seconds later he comes out, and beckons us in. What a guy! Not only signed my picture, but invited us back to meet him, gave me a hug, called me baby, and talked with me about college and the possibility of him/the guys doing campus shows. He rules so much. And thanked me profusely for the card and promised he'd keep it in his luggage when he travels. He looked great, I thought, but had gained weight since I saw him last January. Also, last January he sounded so hoarse and sick.. this time, he sounded much healthier. He wasn't wearing his standard suit but black pinstripe pants (drool... pinstripes...) and a white dress shirt with some sort of black pattern on it. And adidas shoes. Now.. I'm not saying I'm lusting after Greg.. he's old enough to be my father, not the best looking man alive and out of shape, but when a man who I have more respect for than almost anyone else is wearing pinstripes and calls me baby, that *rocks my world.* Again, Greg RULES MY UNIVERSE. He's the FUNNIEST guy ever. He so rocks. Questions? Need to clarify anything? srr2k@virginia.edu Back me up, Scotty. Right. So, get thee gone, here's what's to do: who? what? shows? ots? email her to the top