Kids are Great!

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like.
We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire;
it hung from a tree in our front yard.
We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.
At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"



A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor.
She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."



I didn't know if my Granddaughter had learned her colors yet,
so I decided to test her.
I would point out something and ask what color it was.
She would tell me, and always she was correct.
But it was fun for me, so I continued.
At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"



When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin,
we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa.
The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."



When my grandson asked me how old I was,
I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure"
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised.
"Mine says I'm four."



On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said,
"if anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked,
"how will that help?"

A three-year old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there
were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.
"How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath", he replied.
"I think it's printed on the bottom."

A father was helping one of his little twins say his evening prayers.
"Bless us to be good so we can return unto Thee."
The child replied "Bless us to be good so we can turn on the TV."

A four-year old put his shoes on by himself.
His mother noticed the left was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me Mom.
I KNOW they're my feet."

Kids Say The Darnedest Things!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,
and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
(Alan, age 10)

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before,
and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
(Kirsten, age 10)

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

23 is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
(Camille, age 10)

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
(Freddie, age 6) (wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
(Derrick age 8)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other.
Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
(Lynnette, age 8)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
(Martin, age 10)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead.
The next day I would call all the newspapers and
make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
(Craig, age 9)

WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEBODY?

When they're rich. (Pam, age 7)

The law says you have to be 18, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
(Curt, age 7)

The rule goes like this; If you kiss someone,
then you should marry them and have kids with them.
It's the right thing to do.
(Howard, age 8)

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing.
I'm never going to have sex with my wife.
I don't want to be all grossed out.
(Theodore, age 8)

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.
Boys need someone to clean up after them.
(Anita age 9) (Bless you child)

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
(Ricky, age 10)

(Chuckles ~ Index)

Midi ~ "Playmate"
Courtesy of
Margi Harrell