The Heat of the Moment
by Shannon McKinnon

It seemed that most of the population of the city was not taking the weather very well. Tempers were short, and people seemed even more out-of-sorts than usual. It was hard enough dealing with Chicago heat when it built up gradually; but to be thrust into mid-Summer-like temperatures in the midst of a mild Spring made it even worse.

As he pulled up in front of the Consulate, Ray’s mood took an immediate turn for the better. Benny was standing out in front of the building, waiting for him. He pulled over and Benny entered the Riv, placing his Stetson carefully on the dashboard and fastening his seat belt.

“Afternoon, Benny.”

“Hello, Ray.”

“Where’s Dief?” Ray asked, noting the absence of the third member of the team.

“He is spending the night at Willie’s.”

“Smart wolf. He stays where the air conditioning is.”

Ben smiled.

“You know Benny, you really should consider getting an air conditioner for your apartment. Or better yet, moving to a new place entirely.”

“Ray, please. We’ve been over this and over this.”

“I know. And we’re going to keep going over it until I can knock some sense into that thick head of yours.”

Ben sighed and rubbed his hands over his closed eyes. “Fine, but could we please have the discussion another time?”

Ray glanced over at him, then turned his attention back to the road. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ben nodded. “I’m just tired.”

Ray pulled the Riv to a stop at a red light and gave his lover a closer look. “You look a hell of a lot more than just tired, Benny. You look completely exhausted.”

Ben didn’t say anything.

“You haven’t been sleeping the past few nights, have you?” It came out sounding like an accusation, and Ray winced slightly. The last thing he wanted was to put Benny on the defensive.

“It is somewhat harder for me to sleep with this heat,” Ben admitted.

“Why don’t you spend tonight at my house? It’s air conditioned, and you’ll be able to get a decent night’s sleep for once.”

“No,” Ben said instantly.

“Benny, come on! It’s not just the lack of sleep I’m worried about. This heat is really affecting you. You need a break.”

“The Consulate is air conditioned, Ray.”

“Yeah, but that only does you good when you’re actually there. You spent most of today out running errands for Inspector Thatcher.”

Benny looked over at him in surprise.

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out? I tried calling you a bunch of times, Benny; and every time, I was told you were out of the office.”

“It’s a very busy time for the Consulate,” Benny started.

Ray snorted. “Yeah. Thatcher’s busy sitting on her ass in her comfy air conditioned office and you’re busy running around the streets of Chicago in a woolen uniform during a heat wave.”

Ben turned to look back out the window, and Ray sighed. He didn’t want to argue with Benny, and he sure as hell didn’t want to argue over Inspector Thatcher. He rubbed the brown fabric of Benny’s jacket between his fingers. “At least you didn’t have to stand guard duty, right?”

Ben turned back to face him with a grateful smile.

“Come on, Benny. Just stay the night. You’ll already be there for dinner.”

Benny paused, then shook his head. “No, Ray. I can’t. I don’t wish to be an imposition.”

“You won’t be an imposition!” Ray said, exasperated.

“It’s more than just that,” Ben said. “It would be too hard for me to be just across the hall from you, knowing I couldn’t be in your room with you. I think I’d get even less sleep that way then I would in my hot apartment.”

“Yeah,” Ray sighed. “I know what you mean.”

He and Benny had been lovers for almost six months, and they had yet to tell Ray’s family. They both wanted to, very much, but they were afraid of the possible bad reaction. Their love was still so new, and they were both so happy, that they wanted to keep it safe from any negativity for as long as they could. It was hard on both men keeping the secret and lying to Ray’s family; but neither one felt ready yet- or brave enough- to share their news.

They rode the rest of the way to the Vecchio home in silence. They entered the house and the two men removed their suit jackets and ties and hung them in the closet; then undid the first few buttons on their shirts. Benny slipped his suspenders off his shoulders and rolled up his sleeves as he followed Ray down the hall.

“We’re home, Ma,” Ray announced as they entered the kitchen.

“Caro!” Rosa came towards them smiling, and gave each man a kiss on the cheek. She stopped and frowned at Ben. “Are you all right, Benton?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he answered.

Rosa looked him up and down. “You’re working too hard,” she declared, then headed back to the stove.

Benny didn’t look at Ray, because he knew his lover would have a smug smile on his face, and he didn’t want to see it.

“Geez, Ma, it’s a billion degrees in here!” Ray exclaimed. “Why don’t you turn the fan on?”

“It is on, Ray,” Rosa said patiently. “But I’m afraid that the oven keeps things pretty warm in here.”

“Well, your cooking is worth it,” Ray smiled. “Still, I think I’m going to get an air conditioner for the kitchen.”

“Raimondo, I don’t want you going to such an expense for me.”

Ray shook his head. “I’m doing it, Ma. I should have done it a long time ago.”

Rosa smiled and patted his cheek.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Ben asked.

Rosa smiled at him. “You can set the table, please.”

“All right.” Ben moved over to the counter and opened a drawer and started counting out the silverware.

Ray, knowing his role by heart, got the salad makings out of the refrigerator and a bowl down from the cupboard. “Where is everyone, anyway?” He asked, noticing the unusual quiet in the house.

“They all went to an afternoon movie. I think they wanted the air conditioning more than the entertainment, though.”

Ray and Rosa both started at the sound of a loud clatter. They looked over and saw that Ben had dropped all the silverware on the floor; and he was holding tightly to the edge of the counter and swaying slightly.

“Benny!” Ray ran over to him and grabbed him just as Benny’s legs buckled beneath him. Ray sank slowly to the ground, clutching Benny to him, and wound up sitting on the floor with Benny laying limply against him.

“Benny, you okay?” There was no answer. “Benny!” He said more sharply.

Ben gave a quiet sigh and stirred against him. His eyes blinked open and he looked at Ray, then looked around him in confusion.

“Just sit still for a minute, okay?” Ray said.

Finally, Benny spoke. “Ray? What...” His voice was weak and shaky, and he didn’t seem to be fully aware of what was going on. Ray noticed that Benny was very pale, and he was perspiring slightly.

“It’s okay baby, just relax,” Ray said; keeping an arm wrapped around Benny’s waist.

Ben didn’t answer, he just sat leaning against Ray.

“We need to get this damn thing off you,” Ray said, unbuttoning Ben’s shirt the rest of the way and pulling it off him. He dropped the shirt onto the floor, then looked over at his Mother, who was at the sink, running a towel under cold water.

“Ma, could you bring that chair over here, please?” He asked, nodding at one of the kitchen chairs.

“Of course.” Rosa dragged the chair over, then moved to stand next to them.

“Okay, Benny, we’re going to get you into this chair now, all right?”

“Mmmmm,” Ben answered, but Ray wondered if he had really understood.

Ray and Rosa lifted Benny to his feet and sat him in the chair. Ben helped as much as he could, but he still seemed confused, as if he wasn’t fully aware of what was happening to him.

“Lean forward, Benny,” Ray said once he was seated. “Put your head down between your knees.”

Ben did as instructed, and Ray gently rubbed his back. “That’s good. Now just breathe slowly, okay? Take nice deep breaths.”

Benny did as Ray said, breathing slowly in and out.

Rosa walked over to the sink and wrung out the towel, then brought it over to Ray. Ray draped the cold towel over the back of Benny’s neck and continued stroking his back. “That’s good, sweetheart. Just keep breathing.” After a few minutes, Benny slowly sat up, and Ray grabbed the towel as it slid off him.

Benny looked at Ray, and his eyes seemed clearer and much more alert than they had.

“You back with us?” Ray asked with a gentle smile.

Benny nodded, and color returned to his face as he blushed. “I’m sorry to cause such a fuss,” he said.

Ray laughed in relief. If Benny was apologizing, he must be feeling better. “It’s all right, Benny. No big deal.”

“Here Caro,” Rosa said, handing Benny a glass of orange juice, “drink this.”

Ben obediently took a sip of the juice. He noticed the silverware scattered across the floor and tried to stand up. “I’m so sorry, let me-”

Before Benny made it even halfway to his feet, Ray pushed him back down into the chair. “Whoa! Just sit still Benny, okay? Don’t worry about that, it’s not important.”

“All right.” Ben took another sip of juice, and he sighed.

“Are you okay?” Ray asked quietly.

Ben nodded.

“What happened, was it just the heat?”

“I think so. I was standing at the counter, and I felt so hot, then I suddenly felt very light-headed. The room was spinning around me, and the next thing I knew I was on the floor, and you had me.”

Ray was frowning at him worriedly. He ran the towel over Benny’s face, then looked up at his mother. “Do you think we need to call a doctor?”

“No,” Rosa and Ben said at the same time.

Rosa smiled. “I don’t think a doctor is necessary. We will take care of Benton ourselves. We just need to get him cooled down, and get him rest, and he’ll be fine.”

“All right,” Ray agreed somewhat reluctantly. He rubbed the towel gently over Benny’s head. “We need to cool down that pelt of yours,” he said with a teasing smile.

Benny finished his glass of orange juice, and Ray took the empty glass from him and placed it on the counter; then ran a hand lightly over Benny’s cheek and smoothed back his hair. “Do you think you can make it upstairs?”

Ben nodded. “I think so.”

“Okay. We’ll just take it nice and slow.”

Ray and Rosa helped Benny to his feet, and Ray wrapped his arm firmly around Ben’s waist. Benny had both arms around Ray, and was leaning against him.

“I’m going to put him in my room,” Ray told Rosa. “It’s a lot cooler than the guest bedroom.”

“All right,” Rosa said. She hurried from the kitchen and up the stairs to get things ready for them.

As they walked through the house, Ray noticed that Ben’s steps were unsteady. “Benny, if you need to stop and rest on the way, you just let me know, okay?”

“I’m fine, Ray.”

“Sure you are.”

They made it upstairs and into Ray’s room without incident, and Ray eased Benny gently onto the bed.

Rosa was standing off to the side, watching them carefully. “Is there anything else I can do for you?” She asked.

“No thanks, Ma. I think we’re fine,” Ray told her.

“All right. If you need anything else, you let me know.”

“Thanks, Ma.”

“Thank you for everything, Mrs. Vecchio,” Ben said.

Rosa smiled and walked over to the bed to give him a kiss on the forehead. “You just rest now and feel better.”

She left the room, closing the door behind her, and Ray turned back to Benny. “Okay,” he said, “let’s get you undressed.”

He knelt down in front of Benny and started untying his right boot. Ben bent down to help with the left boot, and before long both were unfastened. As Ben sat up again, he swayed, and he put both hands on the bed to steady himself.

Ray grabbed him by the shoulders. “Benny, lay down. Now.”

Without a word of protest or complaint, Benny leaned back against the pillows, and Ray swung his legs onto the bed. He pulled Benny’s boots and socks off and dropped them onto the floor, then quickly unfastened and removed Ben’s pants. “100 degrees outside and you’re wearing woolen pants,” he muttered.

He had expected some type of protest or defense from Benny, but there was none, which worried Ray further. He grabbed the pillows from the other side of the bed and placed them under Benny’s feet, elevating his feet slightly.

“Okay, t-shirt next,” Ray ordered, and between the two of them, they managed to remove Ben’s undershirt, leaving Benny wearing just his boxer shorts.

Ben lay quietly with his eyes closed for a few minutes, then looked up at his lover. “Ray, don’t look so worried,” he said, touching his face gently.

“Don’t look so-” Ray broke off in disbelief. “Benny, less then ten minutes ago you passed out in my arms. So please forgive me if I’m still a little worried.”

“I didn’t actually pass out,” Ben protested.

“Yes, you did. And you took about six months off my life in the process.”

“Sorry,” Ben said with a small smile.

“Well, I’ve decided to forgive you,” Ray said with a shrug. He looked Benny over carefully. “Will you be all right if I leave for a minute?”

“Yes, Ray.”

“All right, I’ll be right back.”

Ray hurried from the room and was back in about two minutes, carrying a large bowl of cold water, a towel, and a glass of water. He placed the bowl of water on nightstand and dropped the towel into it to soak, then handed the glass to Benny. “Here, drink some of this,” he said.

Ben sat up a little, propping himself up on one arm, and drank took a few swallows of water, then placed the glass on the nightstand and laid back down.

Ray took the towel out of the bowl of water and wrung it out. “This could actually be fun,” he smiled. He ran the towel slowly down Benny’s arms, then over his chest.

Ray glanced at Benny’s face and saw that he was lying with his eyes closed, a small smile on his lips. Ray smiled as well as he wiped the towel over Benny’s legs. He dropped the towel into the bowl of water again and tapped Benny lightly on the side. “Roll over,” he said.

Benny sighed and his smile deepened, and he rolled over onto his stomach.

Ray wrung out the towel and rubbed it gently over Benny’s back, then ran the towel over the back of Benny’s legs. He put the towel back in the bowl, then bent down and placed a kiss against the back of Benny’s neck. “All done,” he said quietly.

Benny rolled back over and smiled up at Ray. “Thank you.”

Ray ran his hand over Benny’s cheek in a gentle caress, the felt his forehead. “You feeling better now, baby?”

“Yes.”

“Really?” Ray looked at him appraisingly. “No more dizziness? You’re not feeling too hot anymore?”

“No Ray,” Ben assured him. “I just feel tired.” He had been struggling to keep his eyes open, and he now gave up the fight and let them close. “I’m so tired.”

“Yeah, I think that’s why they call it heat exhaustion,” Ray said, and a small smile flickered across Benny’s face.

“Here,” Ray said, picking up the glass of water and handing it to Benny. “Drink some more of this.”

Ben sat up and took the glass. He drank the rest of the water, then handed the glass back to Ray.

Ray helped Benny lay back down and get settled comfortably, then covered him with the sheet. “You get some sleep Benny,” he said, smoothing back Ben’s hair. “That’s the best thing for you right now.”

“Okay,” Ben mumbled, already half asleep.

Ray sat next to Benny until he was fully asleep, then he leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you, Benny,” he whispered. He stood up and crossed the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Ray headed down the hall towards the stairs. As he passed his mother’s bedroom, he heard her call out to him. “Yeah, Ma?” He said, stopping in her doorway.

“Come in here for a minute,” Rosa said.

Ray entered the room.

“Close the door,” Rosa said.

Ray was surprised, but he did as his mother asked.

“Come sit next to me,” Rosa said, patting the mattress next to her; and Ray walked over and sat next to her on the bed. “How is Benton?” Rosa asked.

“He’s okay,” Ray said. “He’s sleeping right now, which I think he really needs. I’m going to let him sleep through dinner. If he doesn’t wake up on his own, I’ll wake him later to make sure he eats something, but right now he just needs to rest.”

Rosa nodded. “I’m sure he’ll be fine,” she said. She looked at Ray for a minute, and Ray began to get nervous. “There is something I want to talk about with you, Caro,” she said.

“Yeah, what’s that, Ma?”

“I’ve been wanting to have this discussion for a while now, but I wasn’t sure how to approach it. I wasn’t even 100% sure the conversation was necessary.”

Ray was at a loss. “What are you talking about, Ma?”

Rosa looked him directly in the eye. “About you and Benton.”

Ray felt himself go pale. “What... uh... what do you mean, Ma?” He could feel that he was blushing now. Dammit!

“You know what I mean, Caro,” Rosa answered quietly.

Ray nodded and swallowed. “We’re in love,” he told her. He kept his voice strong, but his heart was pounding, and he was clutching his thighs to keep his hands from shaking.

“Yes,” Rosa nodded. “I thought so.”

“How could you? How could you tell?”

Rosa looked offended. “Raimondo, I am not a stupid woman.”

“I know that, Ma.”

“And I am your mother. I know you better than anyone. When a major change takes place in my son’s life, I’m not about to miss it. It happened right around the New Year, didn’t it?”

Ray nodded.

“I thought so,” Rosa said again, smiling. “I could tell something had been bothering you for a while, but I thought it was work, and maybe the holidays getting you down. But then, almost overnight, your mood seemed to lift and improve, and you seemed happier than I had ever seen you.”

Ray offered her a small smile.

“Then I started to notice a change in Benton, as well. He seemed so much more relaxed and at ease with himself, and happier as well. I wondered if the two might not be connected, but then I told myself that I was just a foolish old woman.”

“Ma...”

“Shush, Raimondo.”

Ray fell silent, watching his mother warily.

“So I began to keep a very close eye on you and Benton when you were together; and I saw some little signs. Nothing anyone but a Mama would notice, but they were there. There would be glances between the two of you, and you seemed to touch each other more than was necessary. And I noticed that the two of you began spending more time together, which I hadn’t thought was possible.”

Ray laughed.

“But even then I wasn’t sure,” Rosa continued. “You are very good at hiding your feelings, Raimondo.”

Ray gave her a look of disbelief, and she smiled at him. “I mean your deeper feelings. Your softer feelings.”

Ray looked away uncomfortably.

“When something really matters to you, when it’s important to you, you keep your feelings about it to yourself; you protect them. Of course in the past, you’ve had reason to,” she added sadly; touching his hand lightly.

“And as good as you are at doing that, I think Benton is even better. So I still couldn’t be positive. Up until a little while ago.”

Ray looked at her, confused, and Rosa smiled. “When Benton fell ill, you were so worried about him that you forgot to be careful. You were so busy taking care of him, making sure that he was all right, that you didn’t think to hide how you felt.

“I knew then, Raimondo. I saw it in the way you talked to him; your tone of voice even more than the words that you said. I saw it in the way you touched him. And also, most men don’t call even their best friends ‘sweetheart.’”

Ray blushed and looked away, and Rosa laughed.

Ray looked back at his mother, eyeing her carefully. She didn’t seem angry or upset about the situation at all. As a matter of fact, she seemed... “You’re okay with this, Ma?” He asked, then held his breath, waiting for her answer.

“I will admit that at first I had my reservations. I know that it is not an easy thing to be in a gay relationship, even in this day and age. I worried that things at work or in the neighborhood could get rough for you. I still do.

“But you are my son, and I want you to be happy. If this is what makes you happy, I am not going to stand against it. You have my blessing. You and Benton both. That man needs a family, and I’m not going to banish him now that he’s finally found one.”

“Ma,” Ray said. His throat was tight, and he felt dangerously close to tears, so he just hugged her. After a minute he pulled away and looked at her again. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, Ma. We wanted to. We did. It’s just...”

“You thought I might kick the two sinners out of my house?” She asked quietly.

Ray blushed and looked down at his lap. “I’m sorry, Ma.”

“I suppose I can understand how a part of you might think that, Raimondo. And you’re right, my religion is very important to me. But I am also a grown woman, with the ability to think for myself. I make my own decisions, based on what I think is right, and what I feel in my heart is right.

“Don’t ever be afraid to come to me, or think you can’t talk to me. We may not always see eye to eye, but I will never turn my back on you. I am your Mama, Raimondo. I love you, and I want you to be happy.”

Ray pulled his mother into another hug, and he clung to her. “Thank you, Ma,” he finally whispered. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” she said. She pulled away and smiled at him. “But now I have a dinner I need to finish preparing.”

“Yes Ma,” Ray grinned.

Rosa left the room, but Ray just sat on the bed for a few more minutes, deep in thought. After a while he stood up and walked back into his bedroom and sat down on the bed next to Benny.

Ben had rolled over and was sleeping on his stomach, one arm trapped beneath him and one arm hugging the pillow. Ray smiled down at him and ran a hand through Benny’s hair, then leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“You’d better rest up while you can, Benny,” he whispered. “You’re going to need all your strength, because I think that when you wake up, you and Ma are going to have a very interesting conversation.”

THE END