notes/disclaimers
Ray started and awoke to the sounds of loud music and
voices from the street below. He was in Benny’s
bedroom with the bedroom window wide open to let in
the “fresh air”; so the fact that he could clearly
hear the activity in the street below not surprising
at all, but it was annoying.
He was about to get out of bed and yell at them to
keep it down when he heard a car pull up, and a police
officer break up the mini party. Ray’s eyes widened
in surprise. A cop patrolling this neighborhood? He
must be a rookie.
In the bed next to him, Benny mumbled and stirred
slightly. Ray gently rubbed a hand up and down Ben’s
back, and Benny sighed softly and settled against
Ray’s shoulder; his breathing pattern resuming that of
sleep.
Ray smiled happily to himself. If this had been only
a few months earlier, Benny would have been wide awake
at the first hint of noise- and probably jumping out
of bed to get dressed and go outside and investigate
the disturbance. The fact that he felt relaxed and
comfortable enough to be able to remain asleep made
Ray feel happy- and flattered.
Benny had told him just a few weeks ago that he had
only started sleeping through the night after they had
become lovers.
“I guess it must be that I have someone there to watch
out for me should anything happen, and to keep me
company,” Benny had said, looking shy and endearingly
embarrassed.
Ray had wanted to make a teasing remark to lighten the
mood, but he hadn’t been able to. All he had been
able to do was smile at Benny like a lovesick sap.
Which he was, if you thought about it.
And Ben’s sleeping habits weren’t the only thing that
had changed as a result of being in love with Ray.
Not that anything had been wrong with Benny before,
but God, it was good to see him relax and have fun and
enjoy life once in a while.
Just the other night, he had left the dinner dishes in
the sink while he and Ray had watched the baseball
game. Of course, he had insisted on washing them
before going to bed, but it was still progress. Ray
laughed softly and ran a hand through Benny’s hair.
Ben was also losing some of his traumatized shyness at
Vecchio family dinners, enjoying the fierce and
free-flowing discussions that always accompanied the
food and drink. He even joined in occasionally, his
polite debates still new and unsettling to the other
members of the family, giving him a slight edge.
The way Fraser dealt with women had changed, too.
When he encountered a woman making a pass at himwhich
was at least half of the women he met- he would
smile politely and rebuff them gently. Gone was the
flustered, stammering, helpless Mountie of the past.
And it wasn’t just the public Benny who was different.
Alone with Ray, Benny laughed more often, teased and
played with his lover, and smiled more frequently than
Ray had seen in all the time that he had known him.
The fact that Benny attributed all these changes to
Ray was something that Ray couldn’t quite understand.
How one cranky, insecure, messed-up cop could have
such a positive effect on someone’s life was beyond
him, but Benny really believed it was the truth.
And the feeling that gave Ray was worth more to him
than anything he could ever give to Benny. He wanted
to give Benny more. He wanted to give Benny
everything.
Eventually, he would. He certainly had long enough to
try. Resting his cheek against Benny’s hair, Ray
joined his lover in sleep.
THE END
At My Most Beautiful
by REM
I've found a way to make you, I've found a way a way
to make you smile.
I read bad poetry into your machine. I save your
messages just to hear your voice.
You always listen carefully to awkward rhymes.
You always say your name. Like I wouldn't know it's
you, at your most beautiful.
I've found a way to make you I've found a way a way to
make you smile at my most beautiful.
I count your eyelashes secretly. with every one,
whisper I love you. I let you sleep.
I know you're closed eye watching me, listening. I
thought I saw a smile.
I've found a way to make you I've found a way a way to
make you smile.