Believe in God
by Silvina

He'd never said it was a good plan. It was the best he could think of at the time, and no one said that afterglow was exactly conducive to thought and planning. He was almost perfectly happy. He was healthy, his family was good, work was going well, the weather was nice and mild, he was in love . . . and good sex too, hence the afterglow. There was only one problem in Ray's world today. The love of his life was a man.

Falling in love with a man had been strange and unexpected, especially after being divorced, but Fraser was strange and unexpected so that made that okay. He'd gone with his heart and gut as usual, and belatedly his brain had followed nicely. That was the problem. If he'd had to wrap his brain around it, what would his family do? How do you tell one, two, three, four Catholics that you've become gay? How do you not hold their shock against them if they turn on you, much less on your best friend?

Time to run a little experiment. He'd need a friend. Someone, not Benny, to introduce to his family. If they reacted badly that was one thing. If they hurt Benny, well, it would probably kill him to have to choose. He didn't see any other options other than lying to them. They all deserved better than that, especially Benny.

Enter John Cliffs. With his help Ray was going to test run his family. Crude, but hopefully effective enough.

"I don't believe it. I just don't believe it, John. I couldn't even follow what Ma was saying to me. Maria was crying, Frannie slapped me, and Tony, who normally can't be bothered to get upset about anything not related to food wouldn't look me in the eye."

"I'm sorry, Ray. Maybe they'll come around." He suggested.

"Come around? They didn't even stick around once I told them. I can't believe they all got up and left. I'm glad I didn't tell them the real truth. Can you imagine what it would have been like if Benny had been here?"

"I thought your mother was going to hit me there for a moment."

"Yeah, so did I." He dropped onto the couch. "Now what am I going to do? I had to convince Benny that I could break it to them slowly. I told him everything would be okay."

"If you love him and he loves you it will be okay. Just give them time."

"How much time? A week? A month? A year?"

The phone rang behind him before John could answer.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Ray."

He sighed in relief before noticing the catch in his voice. "Hey, Benny. What's up?"

"Francesca was just here."

"Shit. Look, I'll be right there, okay. Just hold on."

He drove over using the siren. In less than fifteen minutes, he was jogging up the stairs to Fraser's apartment. When he opened the door, Benny looked up from the table.

"Shit." He'd known it wouldn't be good-but oh God-Benny's eyes were red-rimmed. He tried to smile, and the pitiful grimace that Ben gave back was so sad.

At the look on his face, Ben turned away. When he rested his head on his arms and his shoulders started shaking, Ray was ready to kill.

With one hand rubbing Fraser's shaking shoulder Ray ran the other hand over his face. "I'm so sorry, Benny. Ignore anything they said about me. It's going to be okay. They were just upset. They'll get over it. I promise."

Ben turned to him with tears running down his face. "No they won't Ray."

"Yes, they will. It's just the shock."

"No, Ray. You don't understand."

Ray stood dumbfounded as Fraser began to laugh. He then realized that Ben hadn't been crying, he'd been laughing hysterically. Even Diefenbaker looked amused.

"What happened, Benny?"

He'd been making plans with Diefenbaker to go to the grocery store when there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, he'd been confronted by Maria, Tony, Rosa, and Francesca all speaking at once.

"You have to do something."

"Ray says he's in love with a man."

"Come on, Fraser. It's not too late."

"My brother's just a big idiot."

Before he could say a word he found them moving into the living room, still talking amongst themselves. Five minutes later it was clear that some sort of plan was being formed, but what the plan was about he didn't know. Unsure whether to interrupt or wait for a pause in the conversation, he suddenly found himself the center of attention.

Rosa smiled gently at him, and placed a hand on his cheek. "Everything will work out, Caro. He'll come back to us."

He gave a bewildered smile as they all turned to leave. At the door Rosa hovered for a second before placing a kiss on his forehead. She murmured something softly in his ear and was gone.

Nervous, Ray asked, "What did she say, Benny?"

"She told me to go fight for my man."

Understanding Ray groaned. He'd never said it was a good plan.

End