On a bright and sunny day in Gotham City, the citizenry were, as usual, busying themselves with work and shopping. At the Gotham Museum of the Arts, however, someone familiar was combining the two activities . . . in a most illegal way!
Sitting in a glass case was an exhibit of two cat statues, worth one million dollars each. An African-American woman in a black, shiny, tight outfit pranced like a cat towards the case. She looked into the case and smiled greedily.
The woman put the cat-like claws extending out of the fingers and thumb of the black glove on her right hand onto the glass. With a practiced twist of the wrist, she cut a circle in the case. Next she carefully attached a suction cup to the center of the circle and pulled. The disc of glass was soundlessly removed. The woman reached through the hole, picked up the statues in turn and lovingly placed them into a bag.
Just then a guard walked in and pulled a gun. "Catwoman! Stop or I'll shoot!" Before he could carry out his threat, two men jumped him from behind and rendered him unconscious.
“Good work, Morris, Felix” compliments the Princess of Plunder. “Now, let’s take this loot to the hideout. It’s already been a most prrrofitable day."
At Police Commissioner Gordon's office, the man in charge addressed his second-in-command, Gotham City Police Chief O’Hara. "Catwoman has struck again. This time she stole two cat statues from the Gotham Museum of the Arts. I can't get a hold of Batman or Robin. The voice on the phone said they were unavailable until late tomorrow. There was no answer on Batgirl’s cell phone, so I had Bonnie send her an e-mail. If we don’t hear from her soon–”
The Commissioner’s intention to call Batwoman and Flamebird went unstated, as at that particular moment, the Dark Angel of Gotham, Batgirl, strode into the room. In her disguised voice, she addressed her father, “How can I be of assistance, Commissioner?”
O’Hara answered. "Catwoman stole two cat statues from the Gotham Museum of the Arts and we won’t be able to reach Batman and Robin until tomorrow.”
"We have to put an end to Catwoman’s crime spree – now!" declared Batgirl grimly.
Meanwhile, at an abandoned cat food factory, Catwoman admired the two statues, which were sitting on a table next to her claws, whip, and dart guns. "Beautiful, beautiful! These statues are beautiful . . . just like me!”
Her two most recently-recruited henchmen gave no thought to disagreeing.
“Now, for our next caper, we will steal the famous cat paintings."
Morris looked confused. "Uh, cat paintings?"
"Yes, cat paintings,” the Queen of Crime explained. “Cats paint them.”
Her henchmen continued to look at her dumbly.
“You see, the artist dips the cats’ paws in paint, then lets them walk on the canvas. They are worth millions."
"But what about Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Batwoman and Flamebird?" asked Felix unpolitically. “Despite your best efforts, they’re still around.”
Catwoman’s eyes flashed fire. She then picked her cat-o-nine tails off of the table and snapped it at her man. The whip cracked as nine tips exceeded the sound barrier.
“I have plans for all of them!” Catwoman raged. She then calmed and flexed her fingers. “But especially for that purrrple prrrima donna, Batgirrrl. Now, get out of here!''
After her men left, Catwoman began to pace the room. ‘Why do my traps for my costumed nemeses always fail? I’m sure I’ve covered every contingency, yet time after time they escape.
‘Could it be I really don’t want to kill them? That crime without them around wouldn’t be a challenge? Or maybe I want something more . . . ?’ Catwoman sat down, lost in thought.
After nightfall, Batgirl arrived at the Gotham Museum of Modern Art. After speaking to the head of security, she entered the exhibit halls.
Ever since Catwoman had called her on her cell phone, she had been keeping track of possible cat targets. Unfortunately, Catwoman had surprised her by striking at the Museum of the Arts when the museum was open.
‘I’m sure these painting will be her next target. No sign of Catwoman yet. It’s time to take some precautionary measures.’ Batgirl put a homing device on the back of one of the cat picture frames. She then adjourned back to the security office.
Five minutes later, Catwoman and her men entered the gallery in which the cat paintings were hanging. Catwoman went to stand before them and gazed up at the pieces admiringly.
“Take them!” she ordered her two men.
At that moment Batgirl walked in and struck her classic hands on waist pose. "Put those paintings back, Catwoman! You and your men are going to jail!"
Catwoman growled, "Get her, men!”
Morris and Felix set down the artwork and went after Batgirl. Batgirl tripped Morris with her boot and Felix tripped over Morris to the floor. Batgirl laughed at the ease of her victory, but kept a wary eye on the pair where they lay.
The stealthy Catwoman grabbed a vase and crept up behind Batgirl. She hit the preoccupied crimefightress over the head. Batgirl crumpled, out cold.
A quite relieved Morris scrambled to his feet. "Should we finish her off, boss?''
Catwoman examined the back of one of the pictures. "No. I have something special in mind for her. Besides, the police will be here soon. Get the paintings. I know Batgirl will follow and we’ll be waiting! Ha, ha ha!!!”
A few minutes later, Batgirl woke up, just as Chief O’Hara and some of Gotham’s finest arrived. "Batgirl, are you okay?'' asked Chief O’Hara, trying to maintain some decorum as he concernedly checked out her sexy costumed body.
“Yes, I am, Chief,'' replied Batgirl, “but Catwoman won’t be for much longer!” The Dominoed Daredoll pulled a device out of her utility belt.
“What’s that thing?" Chief O'Hara wanted to know.
"This will allow me to track the paintings Catwoman just stole. It should tell us where her latest hideout is.”
The costumed vigilante and the Chief of Police studied the display. Before long . . .
“There! It stopped . . . at Main and Gotham Street! Do you know what’s there, Chief?”
“The old Cat Lovers’ Company building!'' Chief O’Hara exclaimed. ''That's an abandoned cat food factory. I’ll send in a S.W.A.T. team and–”
Batgirl held up a purple-gloved hand. “Let me go in first, Chief. If you strike in force, Catwoman might damage those priceless paintings.”
Chief O’Hara looked down at his beautiful ally thoughtfully. “Well, Batgirl, if that’s the way you want to play it . . . but do be careful!”
Batgirl smiled at the man she considered to be almost like an uncle. “I will.”
The Caped Cutie raced out of the museum, jumped on her Batgirlcycle and sped off into the night.
At the factory, Catwoman and her men were in hiding, waiting for Batgirl to fall into their trap. Taking the direct approach, Batgirl walked in through the front door.
Batgirl called out, “Come out, come out, wherever you are, Catwoman!!"
Catwoman stepped into view. "Here's your homing device. It led you right into my trap!! Hah!! Get her men!''
Batgirl prepared for battle, but did not expect what came next. Instead of attacking, Morris and Felix quickly cut ropes fastened to eye hooks on the wall. Above Batgirl, a net fell. Too late, she tried to get out of the way.
Struggling to get the net off, Batgirl was hopelessly entangled as Morris and Felix approached. The two tabbies sprayed her with knockout gas. Batgirl instantly fell asleep.
Catwoman grinned evilly. “All right, boys. You know what to do.”
Batgirl awakened, but kept her eyes closed. Sometimes she gained valuable information while feigning unconsciousness. She could tell she had been tied with ropes, spread-eagled on what she guessed was a conveyer belt. The captive crimefighter couldn’t hear a sound, save for heavy breathing nearby.
Her eyelids fluttered opened. Catwoman was overhead, staring right down into her face!
“Morris, Felix, leave us! It’s time for some girrrl talk. I’ll get you if I need you.” The henchmen did as they were told.
“Haven’t we played out this scene before, Catwoman?” asked Batgirl as she strained to see what was beyond her head.
“Many times,” Catwoman purred. She held her whip in her right hand, caressing the nine ends in her left. She then draped the tails over Batgirl’s mask and then languidly ran the whip down the entire length of Batgirl’s body. “But I assure you, this is the last.”
“Same old song, Catwoman!” Batgirl said defiantly as she struggled with the ropes.
“But this one has new words.” Catwoman looked down at Batgirl greedily, drinking in the view of her bound form.
“I want you.”
“What!?” Batgirl yelped in shock.
“Join me,” Catwoman looked away for a split second and spoke in a stage whisper, “in more ways than one.”
Then louder she continued, “You and I can run this town, side-by-side.”
“You’ve got to be kidding!” Batgirl declared. “The only way I’d turn to crime is if you . . .” Her voice trailed away and her face paled beneath her mask.
Catwoman smiled down at Batgirl, but this time with what almost passed for compassion. “No, don’t worry. I won’t be using Cataphrenic on you again. I want you willingly, body and soul.”
“Then forget it!” Batgirl said, turning away.
Batgirl heard Catwoman take a deep breath. “Alright, Batgirl. I’ll make you the same offer I’ve made Batman, when I was in my original body.” The Feline Felon rested a clawed hand on Batgirl’s shoulder. “Be with me and I’ll renounce crime forever.”
Batgirl, eyes opened wide in surprise, turned to look at Catwoman. No longer was the Crime Queen her usual self, in control and domineering. She seemed to be almost pleading.
Batgirl cleared her throat. She wasn’t sure what to say.
“Catwoman, err, well, I’m quite flattered. Really I am . . . and it’s not that I’m prejudiced or anything . . . but I don’t go that way. Now, if there’s anything else I can do to help you reform–”
Catwoman’s eyes blazed like hot coals. She pounded the conveyer belt with both hands. “Silence! You reject my affection!?! So be it!!!”
The Feline Fiend stormed off. She returned shortly with her two minions in tow.
''Batgirl, this time I will finish you for good!''
Batgirl understood their previous conversation was to be totally ignored. She replied, "Whether you do or you don’t, it doesn't matter, because you will be caught!"
Catwoman sneered at her captive. ''Morris, shut her up!''
Morris tied a cloth around Batgirl’s mouth, undeterred by the heroine’s struggles.
''Good,” Catwoman said, “That will keep her quiet. Felix, activate the cat food grinder!”
Batgirl looked horrified as she realized the purpose of the conveyer belt! She redoubled her efforts to escape, without effect.
Catwoman looked down at her captive, all trace of affection long gone. “It is time for a new kind of cat food to be created – Batgirl-flavored!” The sharp grinders and blades some twenty feet from Batgirl sprung to life.
Catwoman ran her hands down Batgirl’s body. Then she surreptitiously dipped a claw into a vial of liquid sitting on the belt beyond Batgirl’s feet. The villainess’ paws worked their way back up Batgirl, then Catwoman scratched the crimefightress’ neck with her dripping claw. Surprise registered across the heroine’s face.
A strange expression came into Catwoman’s eyes. “Boys, cut her ropes and remove her gag!” Batgirl looked up at Catwoman questioningly.
“Maybe you’re too pretty to kill, Batgirl. I’ve decided to set you free. All you have to do is get up and walk away.”
Batgirl couldn’t believe her ears! As soon as Morris and Felix had complied with their mistress' orders, though, she realized the truth.
Batgirl tried to speak, but could not! The black-clad sadist had just added to her torment!
“What’s the matter, Batgirl? Cat got your tongue? You look purr-plexed.” Catwoman chuckled malevolently.
"You've been scratched with a new, quicker-acting and more powerful version of my concoction that makes the voluntary muscles relax. You will not be able to move for fifteen minutes. Long before that, however, you’ll be ready to be served . . . as my cats’ dinner!!! Felix!”
Felix hit another switch. The conveyer belt started to roll forwards towards the grinders. Batgirl stared straight up, unable to budge, terror in her eyes.
Catwoman and her men stood by, laughing and pointing at Batgirl.
WILL SHE BE GROUND INTO CAT FOOD?!
IS SHE TO BECOME CATWOMAN'S CATS’ DINNER?!?!
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK --
SAME BATGIRL-TIME
SAME BATGIRL-TRAPPED PAGE!