LAST TIME, EGGHEAD GLUED BATGIRL TO A SIMULATED SLICE OF BREAD BENEATH A GIGANTIC, ACID-FILLED EGG!

SOON, A DRIPPING FAUCET WILL SHATTER THE EGG, SO THAT THE ACIDIC YOLK DROPS AND DEVOURS HER!

THE SUN HAS SET SEVERAL TIMES FOR YOU READERS, BUT FOR BATGIRL, NOT A SINGLE SIZZLING SECOND HAS PASSED!

WILL SHE BE FRENCH FRIED, AS THE MOST FIENDISH SLICE OF FRENCH TOAST EVER IS PREPARED?

OR WILL EGGHEAD’S GOOSE ULTIMATELY BE COOKED?

ONE HINT!

THE MOST GHASTLY GOINGS ON HAVE YET TO TRANSPIRE!

About a Scheme Hatched for Naught

Batgirl took a deep breath and began analyzing her perilous predicament. Egghead had allowed himself plenty of time to establish an alibi before the egg would crack, spilling the deadly acid over her. Theoretically, the acid would do its work quickly once it was unleashed. So, the most torturous aspect of the trap was psychological. Batgirl was compelled to wait for the egg to crack while having no idea how soon that inevitable event would occur. As she waited, the glue holding her in place would dry, making escape less likely with each passing second. As her remaining time on Earth went by, the repeated tap of the falling water seemed to measure the passing seconds as each droplet fell on top of the egg, attacking the glass enclosure again and again.

Not only had Egghead concocted the trap with characteristic brilliance, his henchwomen had executed its perfidious preparations with fiendish foresight. The fact Batgirl and her crime fighting colleagues carried an extensive array of miraculous equipment around their waists in their utility belts was widely known. So, removing the belt and casting it aside was a precaution villains commonly employed. The removal of Batgirl’s cape, however, had extremely dark and dire implications. Had she still been wearing it, the cape would have been glued in place and enabled Batgirl to move and, perhaps, kindle a spark of hope into a viable method of escape. Without the garment, her shoulders; buttocks; and back had settled into the sticky glue, thus utterly immobilizing her, rendering her helpless.

These portents crystallized in Batgirl’s mind as she considered similar situations from which she and her colleagues had escaped in the past. Her most similar adventure had occurred when she and Daily Planet investigative reporter, Lois Lane, had been placed in a small room at the Hexagon by Saddam Hussein’s agent, Ayesha Ladula. Poisonous gas had been pumped in from the ceiling while the floor retracted serving the captives to flesh-eating bacteria below. Naturally, neither of them had been prepared to combat a weapon of mass destruction.

The Penguin had tried to dissolve the Dynamic Duo in acid twice. Eight years previously, the Feathered Fiend’s tactics in his mayoral race against Batman had turned deadly when the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder had been suspended above a vat of sulfuric acid on one side of a balancing scale with huge blocks of melting ice on the other. More recently, he had floated the helpless heroes, as well as Alfred, the butler, into the center of the Wayne Manor reflecting pool, before Undine, his unscrupulous aide at the time, had turned it into an acid bath that threatened to devour them all. On both occasions Batman’s acid-proof costume, including the cape, which had guarded his exposed face, had allowed him to survive and these experiences buttressed Batman’s recommendation for Batgirl to make her costume acid resistant.

Batgirl’s costume would protect most of her body from Egghead’s acid, but without her cape, protecting her face would be impossible. Egghead might not kill her, but both she and Barbara Gordon could easily be horribly disfigured. To compound the damage, Barbara would have no plausible explanation unless she revealed her secret.

‘Unless my face remains somehow unscathed, this trap will likely finish me as a crimefighter, even if it doesn’t kill me. To prevent my premature retirement, I have to escape . . . and I have to do so quickly!’

A drop of water splashed on Batgirl’s abdomen, returning her mind to the present and her trap analysis. The regular tap of the water on the egg told Batgirl she still had time to devise her escape. The water inevitably spread over the top of the egg, flowed down along the sides, and finally fell onto her. When the egg cracked, it would dilute the acid, but not nearly enough to make a discernable difference.

Despite Egghead’s henchwomen’s actions, not all of the trap’s features worked against Batgirl. The acid egg was balanced mere inches above her. Thus, when the acid showered her, the effects of the inevitable splashing and spattering would be minimized. Also, her hand would easily reach the bottom of the egg, if she could free it from the glue.

Another fact in Batgirl’s favor was her utility belt not being the only place the Curved Crusader carried equipment. Her boots and the flanges of her gloves held items that might enable her to escape, if she could reach them.

The tapping of the water impacting the top of the egg went on as more water fell onto her abdomen, soaking her to the skin.

Fortunately, although the backs of her hands were stuck, her fingers were not. She curled the digits of her right hand and began to reach toward the items concealed in her glove. Her fingertips were close to the hilt of the knife she wanted. To reach it, she stretched her fingers, focusing. Two fingers slowly drew the entire length of the strong, thin blade from its sheath and turned it so the tip pointed at the egg above her. Batgirl exhaled, hoping to thrust her blade through the bottom of the egg and direct the flow of acid from the puncture. She pushed the blade upward and heard the tip impact the egg.

“Okay,” she softly said. “Here we go.” She closed her eyes, centered herself, and filled her lungs. Her eyes snapped open as she exhaled with a martial arts yell that accompanied the upward thrust of her fingers and the blade they carefully held.

The well-honed blade penetrated the glass eggshell. With hope, Batgirl watched the green liquid ooze through the crack her blade had created. As a line of liquid drizzled along the length of the blade, Batgirl considered the other implications of her action.

The liquid slowly streaming along her knife would drip onto her hand and free it. Once she could lift her hand, Batgirl planned to let the liquid follow her arm to her shoulder. While the prospect of freedom was enticing, she knew she had taken a tremendous risk. The dripping spigot had not ceased its attack on the glass eggshell, which grew more and more fragile as the acid inside drained. Each drop of water was more likely to shatter the glass enclosure than the one impacting it seconds earlier. Batgirl’s acidic shower would begin without warning—and might do so at any moment. As she pondered the perilous probabilities, she wondered, ‘Can I win this deadly race?’

Batgirl focused on her knife as the acid gathered at the end of the hilt and dripped onto her hand. She would have to be patient, letting it do its work before she could raise her hand and direct the acid along her arm, hoping she could get free completely before the egg above her disintegrated. Her lips curled into a wan smile as she listened to the hiss of the acid eating hungrily at the glue.

Slowly, she began to raise her hand. Once it was free, she let acid flow down her wrist and along her arm. The hungry hiss continued until she could move her shoulder. Batgirl now faced a decision. She could lift her shoulder and let the acid flow across her neck and shoulder blades, trying to free her other shoulder and arm or she could reach for her other hand and try to free it. Because of the risk of acid dripping from her arm onto her face as she reached for her restrained hand, she elected to let acid flow across her shoulders.

Then another horrible thought struck the escape artist. ‘Could this deadly liquid be strong enough to soak through even my acid-resistant costume and attack my flesh?!’

Batgirl shunted such worries aside and let her free arm rest on her upturned side, so that acid dripped across her back and attacked the glue that held her in place. She lay for a time in an angrily hissing puddle that gradually grew larger, turning her shoulders until she was obliged to hold her position. After some time, to her dismay, she realized a new agony would accompany her stillness as her muscles began aching. ‘I can’t go back to lying in the glue,’ she thought.

Above her, the regular tap of the water attacking the top of the egg continued.

‘The pain tells me I’m still alive,’ she thought, gritting her teeth This encouraging deception did not last long before the pretty paragon gasped, shuddering involuntarily.

Suddenly, Batgirl made a decision and reached for the knife from which acid still dripped with her free hand. She snatched it and quickly rammed it into the glue-smeared board to which her trapped hand was fastened. In the same motion she moved her arm away from her head to keep acid from dripping onto her exposed face. Gripping the side of the platform to which she had been affixed not only allowed her to maintain her position, it gave her a respite from her self-imposed torture. She did, however, have to concentrate to keep the palm of her hand out of the still-sticky glue.

She could feel her muscles turning to jelly. Nevertheless, she repeated the process of raising her arm as the acid ate away the glue beneath it while tediously flowing along her arm’s length. She took a series of deep breaths as the acid began to eat away the glue beneath her forearm. Once she could shift her entire upper body, she exhaled with a karate yell and flung herself forward, into a sitting position.

As Batgirl moved, the eggshell holding the acid disintegrated! A glittering curtain of tiny rivulets rained down where she had lain seconds ago, followed closely by a green blob of liquid that landed and splattered outward.

Batgirl continued moving forward as acid washed over her backside and legs. She was suddenly free, but urgently needed to gather her belt and cape in order to minimize her exposure to the acidic soup that had been unleashed to dissolve her completely. She snatched her belongings and moved toward the door, which Egghead had locked.

Batgirl decided not to take the time to pick the lock, but hurried to a window and tried to open it. The window was also locked, but she spread her cape over the glass before shattering it with a decisive blow. Less than a minute later, Batgirl’s utility belt encircled her waist once again and her cape fluttered in the wind as she hung from her Batrope. She was grinning from ear to ear, breathing deeply and freely, genuinely enjoying the fact she was alive--as well as relatively unscathed.

Batgirl’s muscles began protesting the demands she made of them and she found another window through which she reentered Egghead’s headquarters with a crash. Having abandoned subtlety, she searched Egghead’s hideout, ripping the place to pieces in the process without finding any sign of the criminals, their captive, or their future plans.

Frustrated, Batgirl drove back to Barbara Gordon’s apartment, where she soaked her costume in a tub into which she dissolved a few Bat Super-Base pellets, before sinking into a hot bath with a bar of lye soap. Batgirl neither knew where Egghead and his evil entourage had gone, nor how they planned to take over the city. Regardless, Barbara was too exhausted to do anything about it. After she scrubbed her flushed skin, Barbara closed her eyes. Several minutes later, she opened them and drained the tub. Batgirl would confront the problem of Egghead’s criminal activities again in the morning.

Meanwhile, at the mayor’s palatial home, Egghead’s criminal activities continued. Mayor Linseed first became aware of an intruder’s presence as the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon wafted from the kitchen. He made his way to investigate and found Egghead standing at the stove, extracting strips of crisp bacon from a frying pan and laying them on paper towels to absorb the excess grease.

“Egghead!” the Mayor demanded, “What are you doing?”

“Good evening, Mister Mayor,” the criminal mastermind murmured amiably. “I’m preparing a midnight snack. You and I have a long, busy night ahead of us.” He cracked several eggs into the frying ban and began to move them around with a fork. “I’d pour you a cup of coffee, but I’m a little busy right now.”

“How dare you! This is outrageous! I won’t stand for it!” the mayor raged. Once he was warmed up, he continued to express his indignation in even more colorful terms.

Egghead seasoned the eggs and calmly listened. The mayor paused for a breath as the villain divided the scrambled eggs into equal portions on plates and piled strips of bacon on top of them. He put the pan back on the stove; switched off the appliance; and picked up the plates, before setting them down on the dining room table; retrieving the coffee pot and cups from the kitchen; and addressing his unwilling host.

“Now, Mayor Linseed, really! Is that any way to talk to the man who could save your wife’s life?”

“What have you done with her?”

Egghead sat down at the table, tossing aside the apron he had worn while preparing his snack. “Nothing. Please sit down and eat, Mister Mayor. Your eggs are getting cold. My diet is rather egg-sclusive, as you may be aware. Each of my meals must include grade triple A white eggs. I am not particular about how they are prepared, as long as they are cooked.” Egghead munched a strip of bacon. “Oh, would you like some toast?”

“I will not eat eggs with you!” the Mayor shouted. “All I’m interested in is my wife’s safety.” Suddenly realizing something, Linseed looked around. “Say, what have you done with my butler, Sam?”

Egghead nodded and gathered the remaining bacon from his plate before exchanging plates with the Mayor. “Your butler is fast asleep and will be oblivious to this meeting. It’s just as well I didn’t make toast. I was hoping you’d try the eggs, though. I’m never quite sure about the seasoning.”

“Will you quit yammering about eggs? I told you, I will not eat them! I will not eat them with or without toast. I will not eat them while my wife is tied to a post, for all I know, and I will certainly not eat them while you boast!”

“I understand,” Egghead said, setting down his fork. “Well, a little birdie called Chickadee told me your wife would find herself among the shoaling waters just off Gotham Point at daybreak, unless you take advantage of my generous offer to serve as Gotham City’s appointed manager.”

“I told you before, I don’t feel I have the power to appoint a city manager. The position is not described in the city charter.”

“I egg-splained how you may use your egg-secutive powers to get around that problem. Your unwillingness to cooperate is egg-stremely unfortunate. Think of it. The rocks among the shoals are very sharp. Poor Millie would be out there, being tossed among the waves — all tied up.”

“She’ll drown.”

“At the very least,” Egghead agreed. His voice grew low as he further elaborated the mayor’s wife’s potential fate. “Her body could easily be shattered on the rocks before her blood mingles with the water, attracting schools of carnivorous fish. In the end, it’s possible no trace of her will ever be found.”

The mayor stared, feeling the horror and anger mingle within him. “If anything happens to Millie, Egghead–”

“That is entirely up to you, Mister Mayor.” Egghead’s voice became businesslike once again. “I’ve prepared all the documents necessary to egg-spedite my appointment. Everything will be perfectly legal.”

The mayor took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“We both want what is best for your family and Gotham City,” Egghead softly said, smiling.

The mayor slowly stood, making his way into the living room and the decanter. He poured himself a drink and drained it before facing his uninvited visitor again. “God help me, Egghead. I’ll do it — provided my wife is safe!”

“Not to worry, Mister Mayor. I’ll arrange to have her meet you at the press conference, where you can sign the relevant documents. I’m glad I ate. We’re going to have a busy morning. I’m sorry I won’t have time to do the breakfast dishes. Fortunately, you employ a butler for these less egg-travagant chores ”

Moments later, Chickadee answered a phone call at the Hang Five, a surfer hangout at Gotham Point. “Hello, Eggy,” she cheerfully said. “How did your meeting go?”

“It went egg-sactly as egg-spected. Mayor Linseed will do as I say and we’ll have a press conference later this morning to egg-spose the public to their new city manager.”

“Right. Should I be making plans for our trip to Bermuda? Will we be looting the city treasury?”

“In due time, my dear. You and the twins should bring Mrs. Linseed to City Hall just before seven. The swim we had scheduled for her will not be necessary.”

“Okay, Eggy. We’ll see you later. Bye.” Chickadee hung up the phone and leaned against the wall, silently regarding her companions and their captive.

“I trust that call conveyed your orders about my fate?” Millie Linseed asked calmly. Millie was neither weak nor hysterical. In the past 24 hours, she had become resigned to her ordeal. Now, the steel beneath her character started to show through.

“That’s right,” Chickadee said. “Tell her what’s going to happen if the mayor refuses Eggy, girls.”

“You’ll be going for a swim . . .” Michelle said.

“. . . among the shoaling waves,” Suzette added. “Unfortunately . . .”

“. . . your hands will still be tied,” Michelle concluded.

Millie Linseed glared at each woman in turn. “You’re all horrible!”

“It’s nothing personal . . .” Suzette assured the captive with a casual shrug.

“. . . just business,” Michelle calmly elaborated.

“You!” Mrs. Linseed began, barely containing her contempt. “You . . . murderers!”

“You’ve got spunk,” Chickadee said, stepping toward the bound captive and retrieving a knife from the counter. The brunette brandished the blade threateningly.

The mayor’s wife shrank back.

Chickadee smiled. She handed the blade to Suzette. “Your husband has agreed to let Eggy be the new manager of Gotham City. We’ll drive you into town later this morning. If your husband is a rare politician who keeps his promise,” Chickadee’s stopped and smiled again, “then we’ll let you go.”

The Hang Five was silent as all the women regarded each other.

“Good morning, Gotham!” a radio announcer bellowed, awakening Barbara Gordon hours later. The announcer’s voice moderated before he continued, “This morning’s big breaking story: Mayor Linseed has announced he will appoint the notorious super-villain, Egghead, to be city manager! We’ll carry the mayor’s press conference at seven and then get your reactions throughout the day.”

“It looks like I’m going to have a busy morning, Charlie,” Barbara said to her parrot before she crossed her bedroom, spun her wall, selected a fresh costume, and underwent her tantalizing transformation to become Batgirl. Moments later, the Batgirlcycle was racing toward City Hall at the top legal speed.

Even at this early hour, traffic around City Hall was heavy, but Batgirl steered her bike among the cars and parked in an inconspicuous alley. A glance at Big Benjamin in the Wayne Memorial Clock Tower told Batgirl she would be just in time for the press conference if she climbed the wall. Seconds later, her Bat-climb was underway.

In the media conference room, Egghead stood next to Mayor Linseed. At the back of the hall, Millie Linseed was flanked by Michelle and Suzette Cook. The twins had dressed more formally, exchanging their skimpy shorts and halter tops with the long white coats for knee-length sleeveless, yellow dresses with white belts.

Suzette inconspicuously, but expertly, held the knife blade at Mrs. Linseed’s side. The mayor well understood the implied threat.

Chickadee opened the door to the conference room, dressed in her familiar fashion. She then began handing a thick folder of news releases to each member of the media who entered.

“I egg-spect the reporters are ready for your big announcement, Mister Mayor,” Egghead prompted. “Oh, and by the way, stick to the script.”

“Yes,” Mayor Linseed said sullenly, making his way slowly to the podium. He took a deep breath and began reading from the teleprompter. Egghead had written every word. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to be speaking to you today in order to announce I have created a new position for an extremely qualified, civic-minded citizen to help our city even more efficiently address the problems we face for the remainder of my current term.” The mayor paused to cough. “This citizen is a man of unquestioned, exceptional intelligence.” Mayor Linseed signed several documents on the podium and handed them to Egghead.

Upon a nod from their boss, Suzette and Michelle let Millie Linseed go. The Mayor then took a deep breath and continued in almost a monotone, “Egghead will henceforward be our city manager and report directly to me.”

“Mister Mayor, is it not true that Egghead is a wanted criminal?” Nellie Majors asked.

“I’ll answer that question, Mister Mayor,” Egghead offered, stepping to the podium, “if you’ll egg-scuse the interruption.”

“Go ahead,” the Mayor said, without enthusiasm.

“In the packet my egg-secutive assistant gave you, you’ll find a copy of a request Mayor Linseed has generously made to Governor Hataki. If this request is granted, my criminal record will be permanently egg-sponged. We egg-spect him to take favorable action within the hour.”

“Will that whitewash extend to crimes for which you’re yet to be charged?” Nellie Majors persisted.

Egghead smiled. “While I object to your use of the term, ‘whitewash,’ Ms. Majors, the answer to your question is ‘yes,’ up to the time of my appointment.”

“Why don’t you tell everyone the exact circumstances surrounding this appointment?” a new, female voice suggested.

The Cook twins exchanged startled glances and Chickadee swallowed, frowning.

“Batgirl!” Egghead said, unsuccessfully masking his disappointment at her obvious survival. He quickly, though, recovered his composure. “This is a surprise.”

“It should be!” she replied, stepping to the center of the room and letting her legs spread to shoulder width as her hands automatically settled onto her hips. She had noticed Millie Linseed’s release and now felt comfortable confronting Egghead. “Considering–”

Egghead grinned and raised a hand. “Knowing you as I do, I’m sure you’re about to make an egg-splosive accusation. Before you do, however, please consider how egg-stensive and egg-spensive the litigation it might cause could become – to you! Also, I’m a public official now, so any civil suit filed against me might well be defended at public egg-spense.”

Batgirl paused, marshaling her thoughts, before going on. “I don’t believe the Governor has signed your pardon yet. I know the police are interested in your connection to the disappearance of Lady Easterly’s Jeweled Easter eggs from the Gotham City Art Museum, shortly following your, how shall I put this, departure from prison.”

“I gather you’d like to take me to Police Headquarters to discuss it?”

“That’s the general idea!”

“Certainly. I’ll agree for you to take me into custody . . .” Everyone in the room, including Batgirl stared at him. Egghead held up one hand, as if signaling “stop.” “. . . just as soon as you present your official police badge for these reporters’ inspection.”

Batgirl stood speechless.

“I’m waiting, Batgirl,” Egghead invited sweetly.

“What are you talking about? Everybody knows I’m a duly deputized agent of the law.”

“Deputies are typically issued badges,” Egghead patiently explained. “I’m just asking to see yours. I seriously doubt the good people of Gotham City feel their protectors do not require badges, stinking or otherwise.”

“I serve as a volunteer and don’t have an official badge,” Batgirl admitted hesitantly. “I suppose it’s fair to characterize my relationship with the police as informal.”

“That must be why they routinely summon you to Headquarters. Wait. They summon Batgirl.” Egghead favored the Curved Crusader with a crafty smile. “How do we know you’re really Batgirl?” the criminal mastermind asked.

“What do you mean? Who else would I be?”

“I have no idea,” Egghead replied. “Allegedly, ‘Batgirl’ has been impersonated before. Since no one admits to knowing who Batgirl really is, we citizens neither have reason to believe you are the real Batgirl nor have a means to verify your identity if we become convinced otherwise.”

“I don’t think this is the time or place to discuss me. The people of Gotham City are demonstrably happy with my work and that of my colleagues. We all support the police and urge every citizen to do likewise. Gotham City’s finest have ardently and publicly supported our crime fighting in the past.”

“Indeed,” Egghead agreed. “Mayor Linseed is running for reelection again this fall. One of his previous campaigns saw him vigorously oppose a resolution requiring Batman and his colleagues to reveal the true nature of their relationship with the police. He has had, however, a change of heart. Citizens and members of the press, I can now say on the Mayor’s behalf that proposed resolution fell far short of what should really be required of Batman and his crime fighting ilk. With the Mayor’s full support, as your city manager and the Commissioner’s boss, I refuse to condone the Bats’ efforts at crime fighting until all of my questions about them and their relationship to the police are satisfactorily answered!”

“Just what are you saying, Egghead?”

“My statement requires very little egg-splanation, Batgirl,” the villain triumphantly said. His voice turned smarmy. “In short, you’re fired!”

“Mister Mayor?”

Mayor Linseed looked down at his shoes. Quietly, he confirmed, “I’m afraid I gave Egghead the authority to fire you, Batgirl.”

“You’re kidding!”

“I wish I were.”

Batgirl turned to face the true source of her trouble. “We’ll see about that, Egghead. I’m a citizen and aware of the many questions about your character and fitness to serve the public. I’m placing you under citizen’s arrest.”

“You may do so, Batgirl,” the audience of media inhaled collectively as Egghead calmly continued, “as soon as you demonstrate you truly are a citizen by removing your mask!”

“Doing so would destroy my effectiveness as a crimefighter!” she objected.

“That’s no egg-scuse.”

“I will not remove my mask, Egghead.”

“In that case, you leave me no choice but to have you egg-scorted from these premises and out of town.” Egghead picked up another document that Mayor Linseed had signed. “Also, after leaving town, if you show your mask within Gotham City again, you will be in violation of the Mayor’s egg-secutive order making a person wearing a mask, goggles or any other type of facial concealment inside the city limits subject to arrest as a vagabond!”

Egghead paused to address the members of the press. “Of course, there are exemptions for protective masks worn by honest laborers, health care professionals, bicyclists and athletes, as well as for performers. Naturally, there are also exemptions for Halloween and fancy dress parties.”

Returning his attention to Batgirl, the world’s smartest criminal went on, “Don’t think the Commissioner and Chief O’Hara wouldn’t put you away. They now serve at my pleasure.”

“I’ll go, Egghead, but you’ll be walking on eggshells from here on out. No governor’s pardon can shield you from prosecution for future misdeeds. Unless you remain squeaky clean, you’ll be subject to arrest and I’m sure the Mayor will then be able to shed himself of your ‘assistance.’”

“Get out of my city, Batgirl, and don’t come back!” the villain said, dismissing her with a gesture. Everyone watched Batgirl follow half a dozen security guards from the room. “Now, ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure you have plenty of news to report, so I’ll end this conference and let you all get to it.”

The security guards had no authority to follow Batgirl further than the front door, but they watched her drive off on the Batgirlcycle before returning to their duties. Instead of leaving town, Batgirl drove to Police Headquarters and threw a Batrope to the roof. After a short Bat-climb, she stepped through a window, into her father’s office.

“Batgirl!” the Commissioner said. “Ever since the Joker drugged you, my heart skips a beat any time I see you climbing through that window.”

“That’s understandable, Commissioner.” Both of them remembered the day Batgirl had been transformed into Badgirl, before attacking her father, Chief O’Hara; and Lieutenant Mooney. “I trust you saw the Mayor and Egghead’s press conference?” she asked, returning to the present.

“Yes, and I just learned the Governor signed Egghead’s pardon ten minutes ago,” Gordon sadly informed the Dominoed Daredoll. “We both know the Mayor didn’t willingly give Egghead the job of city manager. The problem is, that scoundrel will have every right to sue us if we accuse him.”

“Our problem becomes proving what we know in the court of public opinion. We have to have an advantage there. Everyone knows Egghead is a crook.”

“He scored some points with certain members of the media when he asked for your badge.”

“Discrediting Batman and me is only a bonus for him,” Batgirl declared. “Our task is to figure out Egghead’s real plan and stop him.”

“Won’t that be challenging if you’re forced to stay out of town?”

“Egghead hasn’t yet forced me to do anything. I need to talk to Millie Linseed. She might have overheard something that could clue us in to Egghead’s plan.”

“I’ve spoken to Bruce Wayne about having some lawyers look at the Mayor’s appointment of Egghead. I can’t have any lawyers on the public payroll explore the question, but I will be talking to Mister Wayne and a few other people tonight at Wayne Manor.” Before Batgirl could inquire further about this meeting, the Commissioner’s intercom buzzed. “Strange,” the Commissioner said. “I’m not expecting anyone.” He reached for his intercom. “Yes, Bonnie?”

Bonnie didn’t bother to try to hide the disgust in her voice. “Mister Egghead to see you, sir.”

Commissioner James Gordon inhaled and began working himself up to a passionate bellow as he spoke. “I’m sorry, Bonnie. I don’t believe Mister Egghead has an appointment. So, you can tell that–”

The opening double doors to the Commissioner‘s office interrupted. Egghead stepped into the room, followed by a flustered Commissioner’s secretary. “Let me remind you, Commissioner, that as of this morning, I am your boss. You cannot refuse to see me and, as of now, I will be happy to hear anything you personally would like to tell me.”

“Egghead, I–”

“Now, what is she doing here?” the well-dressed villain asked, ignoring the Commissioner and indicating Batgirl. “Haven’t you left town yet? Bonnie, please send for Chief O’Hara. I want this potential menace to society egg-scorted to the city limits.”

Bonnie looked questioningly at the Commissioner. He resignedly nodded his head. Bonnie turned on her heels and walked out of the room, muttering to herself.

Egghead closed the double doors behind the departed secretary. “Now, while we wait for the Chief, I have a couple of phone calls to make.” As Egghead spoke, he approached the Batphone.

At stately Wayne Manor, an insistent beeping brought Alfred, Bruce Wayne’s faithful butler, into his master’s study. He lifted the receiver of the red phone and said, “ I’ll summon him, sir.”

Moments later, Alfred found Bruce Wayne in the living room speaking earnestly to his former ward’s Aunt Harriet. “I know this trip is sudden, but I feel it will be very worthwhile,” Bruce was saying.

“You’ve told me about your adventures in Londinium before, but I don’t know. Are you sure this show is worth traveling half-way around the world to see?”

“I’m sending you to do some sightseeing, before we attend Shakespeare’s The Tempest at the famous Globe Theater. If that were not enough, the female lead in the play is a reformed henchwoman of the Penguin’s who helped thwart that villain’s plan to rob the annual millionaire’s dinner nearly a decade ago. Penguin was on the verge of success when Finella had a change of heart and helped Batman and Robin capture the criminal. In prison, she studied acting and began a modeling career when she got out. Now, she has won this lead part and deserves our support,” Bruce explained.

“Oh my, Bruce! When you put it like that, I have to agree with you,” Harriet said. “Oh dear! I’m keeping the man in the taxi waiting.”

As Bruce waved from the front door, Alfred said, “You’ve a call on the red phone, sir.”

“Thank you, Alfred. I’m glad Mrs. Cooper will be safe. Egghead’s strange ascent to power could herald a great deal of activity, both for Batman and for Wayne Manor’s security system. With crooks’ propensity to stop by here to pick up quick cash, I just feel better with her out of town.”

“A wise precaution, sir,” the butler agreed, following Bruce into the study.

“Yes, Commissioner,” Bruce said into the red phone.

“This is Gotham City’s new city manager, Egghead, speaking, Batman,” the voice on the other end of the line announced.

“I see,” Bruce calmly said. “What is it you want?”

“I want you to take an egg-stended vacation,” the villain said. “If you haven’t heard, it is now a crime for you or any of your caped colleagues to show your masks within our fair city. If you do, you’ll be egg-scorted to jail! I sincerely hope I make myself clear.”

“I understand, Egghead.”

“Then this is goodbye, Batman. Goodbye—forever.” Egghead smiled and hung up the phone.

“That twisted jailhouse lawyer!” Bruce Wayne said. “He’s banned Batman and his colleagues from the city!”

“Can he do that, sir?”

“I don’t know, Alfred. I just don’t know.”

“Will you be adjourning to the Batpoles?”

“No. I’ll need my personal address book and a telephone directory. This afternoon I must search my father’s law books to find a means of legally removing Egghead from his new position. This battle may well be won in a courtroom, rather than in abandoned warehouses where arch-criminals lurk.”

“Very good, sir.” Alfred said, turning and moving toward the door. The butler paused.

“What is it, Alfred?”

“Oh. I was thinking of bringing in some sandwiches for you to nibble on while you worked.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

“Quite. It’s just that I prepared egg salad. Perhaps something else would be more palitable?”

Egghead set down the purple cell phone he had used to advise the Distaff Duo of his plans for them if they showed up in town. Just then, Chief O’Hara arrived at the Commissioner’s office.

“Egghead!” Chief O’Hara exploded. “You’re under arrest!”

Egghead calmly turned to regard him. “You will be back walking a beat if you lay one finger on me, Chief. I summoned you here, remember?”

“I. . . . you!” Chief O’Hara incredulously said. “You what?” The Chief glanced helplessly at the Commissioner, who gravely shrugged his shoulders.

“You heard me,” Egghead said. “Now, this woman dressed as Batgirl is an undesirable vagabond. You will egg-scort her to the city limits and arrest her if she returns to town on that charge.”

“Batgirl is not a vagrant, a vagabond, a ragamuffin, or anything of the sort!” Chief O’Hara shouted. “As for your assessment that she is undesirable–”

“Thank you, Chief,” Batgirl said, interrupting to keep her friend from getting into further trouble.

“In Blackstone’s Commentaries,” Egghead quoted, “ vagabonds are described as ‘such as wake on the night and sleep on the day . . . and no man wot from whence they came, nor whither they go.’ That’s a pretty fair description of Batgirl and I’m confident she’s not prepared to provide an address!”

“I don’t think your argument will cut much ice in court, Egghead,” the Commissioner said. “The Batcave and Bat Cavern are well known, despite their locations being closely guarded secrets.”

“Indeed, Commissioner,” Egghead said. “Batman’s Batcave and Batwoman’s Bat Cavern are well known. Perhaps they do not fall under the classic definition of ‘vagabond.’ At this moment, however, we are concerned with Batgirl. What do we know about her base of operations?”

“Well,” the Commissioner hesitantly began, “Batgirl parks her Batgirlcycle somewhere.”

“Egg-sactly,” the villain triumphantly said, “and unless Batgirl somehow demonstrates she is a legal resident of Gotham City, I’m egg-spelling her from our city.”

“What if I refuse to ship Batgirl out of town?” Chief O’Hara asked.

“That would be your last official decision as police chief. I’d fire you for insubordination so fast your head would spin. Now, get Batgirl out of here, Chief!”

“Let’s go, Chief,” Batgirl said. “Egghead, I want you to know I’ll be watching you. You won’t see me, but if you commit a criminal act in the course of your new job, I’ll bring you to justice so fast your head will spin!”

“Begorra, Batgirl. That’s telling him!”

“Is that a threat, Batgirl?”

“No, Egghead,” Batgirl softly said in a voice portending doom. “It’s a promise.”

“Are you still here, Chief?” Egghead asked, as the Chief followed Batgirl from his superior’s office.

Twenty minutes later, Batgirl stopped the Batgirlcycle just outside the city limits. Chief O’Hara pulled up beside her.

“I’m sorry to have to do this to you, Batgirl.”

“I’d rather have you doing your job than someone hand-picked by Egghead, Chief.”

“Begorra! I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Egghead isn’t after a job. He’s up to something. As soon as I’ve figured out what it is, I’ll put a stop to it and things will get back to normal.”

“Sure an’ I’m looking forward to that. I’d better get back and keep an eye on that scoundrel.”

Batgirl waved as Chief O’Hara drove off. Then, she reached for her cell phone.

Minutes later, Batgirl pulled up beside an elegant transporter trailer parked in a secluded spot near stately Wayne Manor. Bruce purchased the vehicle when he had once dabbled in automobile racing. Alfred emerged from the cab and opened the back so that she could pull the Batgirlcycle inside.

“Your call was fortuitous, Miss,” he said. “Mister Wayne asked me to see if I could find the text of the Mayor’s official appointment of Egghead to the new post of city manager. I had hoped it might have been provided to the public library and mentioned I might seek your assistance. I was about to call you myself when you called me. I must confess, I’m not overly fond of computers.”

You don’t know how glad I am to see you, Alfred. Egghead had me escorted out of town and it’s hard to say exactly what will happened to Batgirl if I don’t change before returning.”

“Fortunately, I recalled you left some casual clothes at Wayne Manor the last time Mister Wayne invited you over for a swim.”

Batgirl snapped her fingers. “That’s right! Dinner was more formal. Thanks. You’re a real lifesaver. I’ll just change so our conversation is less conspicuous.”

“I’m sure such a course of action would be advisable. Protecting our little secret is of paramount importance.”

“Good thinking,” Barbara said. She started to remove her costume as Alfred walked around the outside of the trailer and waited. A few minutes later, Barbara Gordon emerged from the back of the tandem.

“We’ll be at the house in just a few minutes,” Alfred said as they made their way to the vehicle’s cab.

At Wayne Manor, Alfred ushered Barbara Gordon into Bruce Wayne’s study. As usual, Bruce was quite pleased to see her. “Please come in, Barbara. Thank you for coming on such short notice. Can I get you anything?”

“No thank you, Bruce,” she replied. “You look worried.”

“I am. When Egghead briefly held the lease to Gotham City, we fell into lawlessness in a matter of hours. Fortunately, Batman and Robin thwarted his plan and brought him to justice.”

“Well, I’m not a big fan of Egghead’s leadership either, but what can we as two ordinary citizens do?”

“I’ve been speaking to some of the best legal minds in the country, looking for a means of removing that vile villain from office. Every attorney I’ve spoken to wants to study the exact language of the Mayor’s appointment. I wondered whether a copy of that vital document might have found its way to the public library yet?”

“I don’t know. I had the day off . . . but I can easily find out, if I may use your phone.”

“Help yourself,” Bruce offered, indicating the black phone beside the bust of Shakespeare on his desk.

“Hello, Myrtle,” Barbara said, reaching her top assistant at the library. “Did we happen to get copies of any documents related to the Mayor’s appointment of Egghead as city manager this morning?”

“I requested them before the press conference ended,” Myrtle replied.

“Good work. Please make some extra copies. I’ll stop by and pick them up before closing.”

“No problem. I’ll have everything ready.”

“Good. I’ll see you later. Bye.” Barbara turned to Bruce. “I’d better hurry back to town and get those copies for you.”

“Did you drive?”

Barbara hesitated. She hated lying, but telling the truth was out of the question. “No. I, er, caught a ride with a friend.”

“Well, time may be of the essence. I’ll ask Alfred to drive you back into town. He can bring back the copies. I cannot thank you enough for your help.”

“I’m just glad I can help, Bruce.”

“I understand,“ Bruce thoughtfully said.

“You’re very kind, Bruce.”

“I’ll be having a meeting of concerned citizens later this evening, if you’d like to come back. You could come early and we could have dinner.”

“I’ll take a rain check on dinner,” Barbara said, smiling. “I don’t have what you’d call a ‘legal mind,’ so I’m not sure what I could contribute to your strategy. Of course, I’m with you in spirit.”

“Egghead is crafty and clever. We may need all the help we can get. There’s no telling what that devil and his people will try to do to our fair city.”

“You know,” Barbara Gordon thoughtfully said, “Millie Linseed might have overheard something during her captivity that will give the police a clue. Egghead made no bones about having kidnapped her at yesterday’s mayoral luncheon and she was at the press conference where Egghead’s appointment was announced. Egghead’s staff was also present, no doubt to keep her quiet. Even so, the reasons for Egghead’s appointment are obvious, even if they can’t be proven.”

“To move against Egghead on the basis of Mrs. Linseed’s accusations, we would have to be 100 percent certain of her safety,” Bruce said. Then he snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it! My seldom-used Midtown apartment might serve as a temporary refuge for Mrs. Linseed. Alfred, do you think you could safely accompany Mrs. Linseed to my apartment?”

“I believe I may be able to make some arrangements while I’m in town, sir,” the butler said.

“Good.” Bruce Wayne said, slamming his fist into his palm. “We may make more progress than I dared hope tonight. If you’re right, Barbara, Mrs. Linseed’s trip to the apartment will allow me to get someone over there to secretly discuss her time in Egghead’s hands. With luck, a clue to that villain’s ultimate plan could be revealed.”

“Very good, sir,” Alfred enthused.

“We should hurry,” Barbara urged. “You’re the greatest, Bruce.”

Bruce would have been surprised if he had investigated and learned Alfred was driving Barbara back to Gotham City in the Wayne transporter trailer. On the way, Barbara issued her own instructions to Alfred. “After letting me out at the library, please drop the Batgirlcycle off on your way to the Mayor’s residence.”

“Very good, Miss.”

“Good,” Barbara said. Then she described the place where Alfred could hide the Batgirlcycle. “I’ll meet you at Mister Wayne’s apartment.” Alfred smiled after her as she stepped from the cab and made her way to the library.

Later, Batgirl greeted Alfred and Millie Linseed as they arrived at Bruce Wayne’s seldom-used Midtown apartment.

“Thank you for looking after me, Batgirl. I feel much safer speaking against that vile creature knowing you’re on the job.”

“You’re most welcome, Mrs. Linseed. The real thanks for these accommodations should go to Bruce Wayne. I’m only sorry I couldn’t get you out of Egghead’s clutches last night.”

“He tried to kill you, didn’t he?”

“Yes.” Batgirl grinned. “Although, that happens to me all the time.”

“Your attitude is wonderful. My husband is meeting with Mister Wayne and a few others, looking at how to legally remove the new city manager. Alfred, please convey my profound thanks to your employer.”

“I’d be delighted, ma’am,” the butler replied.

“Thank you,” Mrs. Linseed said, returning her focus to Batgirl. “Alfred told me you think I can help you combat Egghead.”

“It’s possible,” Batgirl said seriously. “Do you have any idea what he may be planning?”

“Maybe,” Millie Linseed said, pulling out a sheet of paper she handed to Batgirl. “I made a copy of this memo my husband received before he left work. He was absolutely fuming about this when he got home. First, Egghead proposes sweeping prison reform that will turn the penitentiary into a facility with more amenities than a luxury hotel. What is more outrageous is the way he proposes for taxpayers to pay for it all! He wants my husband to tax eggs. Eggs! Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous?”

Batgirl read the page in her hand and looked up. “He wants a quarter for every egg consumed in Gotham City. He demands the police monitor the consumption and collect the tax. Seven years ago, he tried the same thing when he kidnapped the Commissioner, but only demanded a dime.”

“Inflation evidently,” Alfred said, shrugging. “Egghead’s plan is both bold and outrageous.”

“I understand Egghead has authorized messengers to deliver this plan to every media outlet first thing in the morning at the same time executive orders reach Commissioner Gordon,” Millie Linseed said.

“If your reaction is any indication, Gotham City will be in an uproar tomorrow,” Batgirl said. “Public resources will be tied up all over town. So, if Egghead has any other plans, and I suspect he does, tonight and tomorrow morning would be ideal times to carry them out and flee.”

“You may be right, Batgirl,” Alfred said seriously. “What could he be planning?”

“Mrs. Linseed, you may have overheard something during your captivity that might give us a clue. Would you try to remember? Any little thing might be important.”

“I’ll try, Batgirl.” After a moment’s thought, Millie Linseed went on, “After Egghead and his gruesome girls left you to die, they took me to the Hang Five. I gather that establishment is a hangout for surfers at Gotham Point. Anyway, Egghead immediately left to talk to my husband. I don’t know how long we all waited, but when the phone call they expected came, the brunette he left to guard me asked him about two things.”

“The brunette is Chickadee,” Batgirl said.

“Oh, my!” Alfred said, shuddering as he recalled how the henchwoman had threatened Harriet Cooper early in her criminal career during a Batfight at Wayne Manor, while she had worked for the Penguin.

“About what did she ask?” Batgirl enquired.

“Looting the city treasury and a trip to Bermuda,” Millie Linseed said.

“That’s interesting,” Batgirl thoughtfully said. “Before he left me to die, Egghead told me how he planed to redirect city funds and crowed about tax season, which just ended.”

“But no one pays their income taxes in cash,” Mrs. Linseed observed.

“That’s true,” Batgirl admitted. She snapped her fingers, no easy feat while wearing purple gloves. “The tax collection process is automated and computerized. With his new authority, Egghead can divert city funds in the seconds a modern banking transaction takes place!”

“Not at night, he can’t,” Mrs. Linseed objected. “All the banks in town are closed.”

Batgirl frowned, pacing the apartment. “You’re right. He can’t go to a bank to do a transaction and the city vault is not just brimming with money for him to steal. Bank computers, however, are most active at night. To interact with them, Egghead would use the most modern, mainframe computer the city owns. He’ll take advantage of its speed,” Batgirl said. “The question is, where is that computer?”

“Well,” Mrs. Linseed thoughtfully said. “Most city government back office work is done at One Gotham Center rather than City Hall. I would imagine the computers are there somewhere.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Linseed. You’re help has been positively invaluable.”

“Egghead kidnapped me and threatened my life. I’m looking forward to testifying against him in court, despite the Governor’s pardon. Gotham City citizens will simply not tolerate such behavior! If you need any more help in capturing that vile villain, I’ll make myself available and assisting you will be a profound pleasure.”

“Well said, madam,” Alfred enthused.

“Great!” Batgirl agreed. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get to One Gotham Center and stop Egghead. There may not be a moment to lose.” She whirled and hurried through the door.

“Good luck, miss!” Alfred called after her.

“She may need it, Alfred,” Mrs. Linseed said. “Of course, we mustn’t be pessimistic. Batgirl may be the most capable and energetic woman in Gotham City, to say the least.”

“Oh, quite,” Alfred agreed. “Yes indeed.” Silently he added, ‘She is also very beautiful.’

As Batgirl hurried to stop him, Egghead led his terrible trio of temptresses through the corridors of One Gotham Center. “Oh, this is egg-squisite,” he crowed. “You girls have no idea of how long I’ve dreamed of egg-stracting Gotham City’s entire treasury as a nest egg for my next crime wave. Just imagine what all this money will let us do!”

“What are you hatching, boss?” Chickadee asked.

“I haven’t worked out egg-sactly how to spend the bulk of Gotham City’s capital, but with all the caped heroes in town walking on eggshells, no goal is beyond our reach.”

“We’ll be rich . . .” Michelle enthused.

“. . . beyond our wildest dreams!” Suzette agreed.

“Before we finalize our plans, we’ll retire for a time to Bermuda, where I’ll sort out my egg-secptionally brilliant thoughts,” Egghead said. “When we leave the rich retreat I’ve already reserved for us, no doubt will linger about the sunniest side of our ultimate profit-potential remaining upcoming. I can promise that the next batch of cunningly capital capers about which I’m already constantly cogitating will seem even more egg-straordinary than our egg-ceedingly profitable egg-sploits here in Gotham City.” He regarded the twins with a smile. “I’d be delighted to help make all of your dreams come true.”

Chickadee elbowed him in the ribs. “What about our travel expenses?” the American henchwoman asked.

“She’s right,” Suzette said. “Won’t getting out of town . . .”

“. . . be expensive?” Michelle objected. “The cops . . .”

“. . . will be after us!” Suzette concluded.

“True,” Egghead agreed, “but not until morning, and I guarantee Gotham City’s government will be far too busy to chase us then. My solution to the fiscal crisis we’re creating for the city will keep the police very, very busy. After we’re gone, money will not be a consequential problem.” All of them laughed.

“I love it!” Chickadee gushed. “We’re practically home free.”

“Our egg-scape will hardly be free, but we will be initiating two transactions tonight. The main one will distribute the city funds proportionally to our foreign accounts, according to our agreement. The other will deliver a sizable amount of petty cash into our hands to cover certain last minute travel egg-spenses.”

“You really are . . .” Michelle began.

“. . . smart, Egghead,” Suzette finished. Suddenly, she inhaled and revised her assessment a beat later. “Brilliant, in fact.”

“Thank your, girls. I know,” Egghead said, feigning modesty and handing an envelope he withdrew from his inner pocket to Chickadee. “Now, my dear, call the main office of the Ladd Armored Car Company and have the cash collected this week from tolls, parking meters and small fines delivered to the location indicated -- after that sizable sum has been converted into more conveniently conveyed currency.”

“Sure thing, Eggy,” Chickadee replied. “It looks like we’re here.” The criminal quartet approached the city computer room. The guard stationed at the door stood.

“Stand aside,” Egghead authoritatively commanded.

“I’m sorry, sir,” the guard firmly said.. “I can’t let any of you in without authorization.”

“I am the new city manager of Gotham City and that means I’m allowed everywhere. I’d also egg-spect you to understand my carte blanche access authority egg-stends to my staff.”

“You’re Egghead. I’ve been following the news of your installation all day, but regulations are regulations and you have not yet been added to the list of persons authorized for computer- room access.”

“An oversight,” Egghead confidently explained.

“Sir, I don’t mean to cause you problems, but I’ll be fired if I let you in,” the guard apologetically explained.

“You’ll be fired even faster if you don’t!” Egghead threatened.

“I’ll need instructions from someone other than you, sir. I’m sorry.”

“Call Mayor Linseed,” Egghead instructed.

“I will,” the guard said, dialing his cell phone.

Egghead retreated a step and drew Chickadee back. “See to this irritating bureaucrat,” Egghead murmured as he passed the twins. They nodded and each produced an egg, that shattered at the guard’s feet a moment later, releasing twin plumes of yellow, knockout gas. The guard fell with a thud as the blonde pair pulled out handkerchiefs to use as makeshift filter masks.

“How will we get into the computer room now, Eggy?” Chickadee asked.

“This guard has access. We’ll borrow his key,” Egghead replied. Michelle and Suzette had already crouched beside the fallen man and were searching his body. Michelle held up a key she found seconds later and handed it to her sister. Suzette unlocked the door and gestured at the aperture before following the others through.

“Who are you? What are you doing here? What happened to Chip?” a middle-aged woman sitting at a bank of computer terminals demanded, swiveling to face the newcomers.

“I am Egghead,” the villain announced. “I’ve just been appointed manager of Gotham City this morning and my staff is here to attend to some of the city’s new priorities.” Egghead pulled a computer disk from his inner pocket. “You will load and egg-secute this program for me now.”

“I’m sorry, sir. There are channels you must go through for such a request.”

“This is a special case, Ms–”

“Hardac, Carla Hardac.”

“As I egg-splained, Ms. Hardac, I have just started in this job. I am not as familiar with the many pesky, bureaucratic rituals as perhaps I should be. Nevertheless, I assure you I have broad authority to order you to run this program.”

Carla Hardac took a deep breath. “Rules–”

“I am here, Ms. Hardac, in a room strictly restricted to authorized persons. Surely that fact must give me some credibility.”

“All right, Mister Egghead,” the computer operator said. “I’ll honor your request.”

“Thank you,” Egghead said.

As Egghead and the woman spoke, Chickadee picked up a handy telephone and acquired an outside line, over which she began to quietly speak.

Carla Hardac loaded the program Egghead had provided and watched her screen as the program began running. “This program has initiated an international funds transfer,” the city worker explained, indicating one of her computer screens. “When the blue bar here reaches the other side of the screen, the transaction will be complete.”

“Egg-cellent, Ms. Hardac,” Egghead said. Thank you for all of your help.” Carla Hardac shrugged.

“The delivery is all arranged,” Chickadee announced, cradling the phone and glancing at one of the computer room walls. “It seems all those fines and charges Gotham City collects really did add up. We made quite a—"

Her voice failed as she found herself staring at the large shadow of a creature with pointed ears and its head centered between two powerful wings. “Look, boss,” Chickadee whispered, staring transfixed as she raised her arm to point at the shadow.

As Egghead stared, the wings of the bat shadow fell away, revealing a fearsome feminine form.

“Batgirl!” Chickadee said, shocked and awestruck.

“I thought Egghead . . .” Michelle began.

“. . . banished her!” Suzette agreed.

“Oh no!” Egghead said, his voice reminiscent of a high-pitched squawk, as he cringed. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I’m here, Egghead. I’ve caught you red-handed robbing the city coffers, and I’m certain Harvey Dent will have no trouble convincing a jury your method of withdrawing public funds stinks. Your pardon won’t do you any good now. You’ve really laid an egg!”

“What’s going on here?” Carla Hardac demanded.

Egghead took a deep breath and straightened. “We’ll see about that, Batgirl,” he softly said. “You’ll surrender to me at once unless you want to watch my acid egg disfigure this innocent city employee,” he said, slipping his favorite weapon from his pocket.

Batgirl hesitated and the blue line creeping across the computer screen indicated Egghead’s transaction was slowly proceeding. “That’s no choice, Egghead,” Batgirl fumed, striding toward the villain and his associates, “and you know it!”

“Egg-sactly.” Egghead said laughed. “Girls, shackle Batgirl to one of those computer chairs.” The twins drew Batgirl forward and Batgirl obediently sat down. She was not surprised when the French twins removed her belt and set it aside after removing two pairs of Batcuffs. Michelle drew her arms behind the back of the chair while Suzette drew her ankles back beneath the seat. Batgirl felt the metal rings close around her wrists and ankles. After a single, defiant movement, she realized her opposite limbs had been shacked to one another.

When the Cook twins had finished, Egghead gloated, “Batgirl, I’m sure you’ll be interested to learn that, as I speak, this week's Gotham City cash receipts are being delivered to my eggs-curison steamer.”

Before Egghead could exult further, Carla Hardac interrupted. “I asked you a question, Mister Egghead.”

Egghead turned toward her, seeming to remember she was present. “Now that I can be certain Batgirl won’t give us any more trouble, Michelle and Suzette will now egg-scort you from this room.”

“What?”

“Remove her from the building, girls, and take the guard outside with you, too. Chickadee and I will join you in a few moments.”

“What are you doing?” the woman protested as the twins began to carry her off. “Hey!” Carla Hardac began to struggle vainly in her captor’s grip. A moment later, only Egghead, Chickadee, and Batgirl remained.

“Chickadee,” Egghead gleefully said, “wheel Batgirl to where she can get a good view of our wealth accumulating.” Chickadee rolled the chair to which Batgirl was shackled to the bank of consoles and indicated the one on which the blue line continued its journey. “When that indicator reaches 100 percent, every cent of Gotham City’s treasury will be mine, Batgirl, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.”

“Don’t be too sure, Egghead!” Batgirl confidently said. The Curved Crusader was already attentively studying the computer screen and pondering the failsafe procedures the bank likely had in place to prevent the sort of transaction Egghead had initiated.

Egghead cleared his throat and regarded the helpless heroine thoughtfully. “Perhaps we could be more certain.” He put away the acid egg with which he liked to threaten people and exchanged it for a much larger egg. “Synchronize this with the transaction,” he ordered, handing the item to Chickadee.

“Sure thing, Eggy,” the brunette said, removing one end of the orb and adjusting some controls while glancing frequently at the screen displaying the blue line. “There,” she said, setting the egg’s flat side between Batgirl and the display on the console desk.

“Egg-cellent,” Egghead enthused. “In fact, it’s utterly egg-squisite. The second the transaction in complete, my egg-ceedingly powerful egg-splosive will reduce One Gotham Center and all evidence of what we’ve done to smoking debris.” He favored Batgirl with a thin smile as he leaned in towards her. “Unfortunately, you’ll be blasted to oblivion in the process.”

“You’ve forgotten the guard and the girl who know you were here and what you’ve done.”

“Considering the profit margin for tonight’s work, their silence can hardly be considered an egg-spensive comodity. I’m confident we’ll work out an appropriate financial arrangement.”

“You plan to bribe them?”

“‘Bribe’ is such a harsh word . . . but, yes.”

“It won’t work, Egghead. You should be smart enough to know not everyone’s principles are for sale!”

“He’s smart enough to steal Gotham’s entire treasury in a matter of hours,” Chickadee retorted. “Penguin, a second-rate criminal genius, felt he had to become mayor to run this city into the ground and it would have taken his entire mayoral term. You’ve got to realize Eggy is the smartest crook in the world.”

“And you’re his first lieutenant,” Batgirl replied sarcastically. “There are a lot of pretty women in the underworld, Chickadee, and I doubt Egghead hired you for your mind.”

“I notice he isn’t brainwashing you or turning you into a pretty robot suited to give him pleasure,” Chickadee retorted. “Someone must be taking good care of him. Now, who do you suppose that person is?”

“One of the twins, perhaps?“ Batgirl sweetly said, “or maybe both?”

“Chickadee,” Egghead said, “don’t let her distract you. We really must be going. This place will become a scrambled mess in egg-sactly,” Egghead paused, glancing at the blue bar growing longer on the computer screen, “three minutes. While I find you and your handiwork egg-ceptionally egg-squisite, as you well know, staying for Batgirl’s egg-splosive finish would be suicidally stupid. Come.”

Chickadee bent and pecked Batgirl’s cheek. “Batgirl, after the bomb scrambles your guts, serving up your mortal remains in an egg cup should be simplicity itself, assuming everything that may be left of you can be found. Goodbye.” The brunette wiggled her way to her employer and smiled as his arms enveloped her and his mouth bent to kiss her hard on the lips. “We’ll get back to doing this soon,” she said, once the kiss had broken.

Egghead turned and led her from the room letting one hand slowly stroke her curves. Batgirl ignored their departure.

She had been far from idle since the twins had restrained her and now that the villain and his amorous assistants had gone, she no longer needed to hide her efforts toward escape.

The tiny lock pick in her hand probed the metal bracelets holding her right hand in place, but Batgirl had more about which to be concerned than mere survival. As her hands worked at the Batcuff locks, her eyes studied the screen and keyboard in front of her. ‘There must be a way to stop Egghead’s transaction from here,’ she thought.

She was free of her first restraint in less than a minute and began to imagine the sequence of keystrokes and mouse clicks that might be necessary to cancel Egghead’s transaction. The lock pick began probing the second metal bracelet.

Seconds later, once Batgirl’s hands were free, her fingers flew over the keyboard. One hand periodically darted to the mouse with the speed of a striking cobra. Her efforts moved her through the transaction’s cancellation procedure with minimal delay. Following her rapid responses to the few prompts the procedure entailed, a red message told her Gotham City’s funds were safe.

‘Not out of the woods yet!’ Batgirl realized, exhaling a deep breath she was not aware she had been holding.

Her final problem was the ticking bomb Egghead had left tantalizingly within his bound captives’s reach. She snatched it and examined the panel of controls Chickadee had revealed and frowned. ‘There’s no obvious means of shutting down the bomb!’

Batgirl turned the egg-shaped explosive in her hands and noted it was completely sealed. ‘I’ve only given myself a minute and a half to find a way to go on living! Disposing of this bomb in that time without it killing anyone or damaging anything significantly will be practically impossible. Beating these long odds is simply out of the question!’

“The Batlaser is my only chance,” Batgirl murmured, pulling it quickly from her nearby utility belt and turning it to its lowest setting. Holding her breath, Batgirl cut at the edge of the control panel, separating it from the inside of the bomb’s housing and praying it would not explode as a result of her efforts.

Nothing happened.

So, once she was able to reach inside, Batgirl ripped out the bomb’s workings, spilling them onto the desk in front of her. She studied the mess, looking for connections to the actual explosives and reaching for them once they had been located.

Batgirl allowed herself another deep breath, then pulled at the wires linking the explosives to the timer. Her eyes went on studying the apparatus, until she realized the timer had stopped. The Dominoed Daredoll took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She had rendered the deadly egg harmless!

Batgirl’s breathing had normalized by the time she reached Chip the guard and Carla Hardac, who had both been bound and abandoned outside the building. ‘I guess he decided to blow them up, too, instead of attempting bribery,’ Batgirl concluded. “What happened to Egghead?” the heroine asked aloud.

“He and those women all got away,” the guard replied. “I guess he took the money. Where do you think he’s going?”

“To Bermuda, unless I can stop him,” Batgirl responded. “The money, though, most of it, anyway, is safe. Call the police and point out the apparatus on the computer console and the security tape of the computer room. It will give the District Attorney more than enough evidence to convict Egghead.”

Batgirl grinned because she had very few real opportunities to have criminals prosecuted for their bizarre attempts on her life. This time there was proof.

“I’ve heard of Egghead, “ Carla said. “I thought he was supposed to be smart. Wouldn’t you think a smart crook would disable the security cameras?”

“Not if he planned to destroy them,” Batgirl said.

“Good point.”

“You’ll get him, Batgirl,” Chip the guard enthused. “We both have confidence in you.” Carla nodded her agreement.

“Thank you both,” Batgirl said. “I’d better get after Egghead now.” She drove away on the Batgirlcycle, wishing she had even a vague idea of the criminals’ immediate destination. ‘If I’m right about his plan to lay low on Bermuda,’ Batgirl thought, ‘I’d better talk to Batman before going after him.’

Batgirl raced to Police Headquarters and was quickly ushered into Commissioner Gordon’s office. She lifted the cover for the Batphone and pressed the call button.

“Yes, Commissioner.”

“This is Batgirl, Batman. I need your permission to borrow the Batboat. Egghead will be trying to reach Bermuda and I’ll need it to stop him from getting away with all of Gotham City’s tax money.”

“You believe Egghead will be fleeing Gotham City this morning, Batgirl?”

“That’s right.”

“We may have more time than you think, but not much more.”

“Why do you say that, Batman?”

“Egghead’s diet is unique. It consists primarily of grade triple A white eggs. Before leaving town, he will likely stock up on as many such eggs as he can carry,” Batman explained.

“I understand.”

“If memory serves, there are three triple A grade poultry farms in the greater Gotham City area. Bernie’s Chicken Farm, in the Lakewood area, deals in triple A brown eggs exclusively; Paul’s Poultry Palace in Pemlico has only a few hens and will not produce an adequate supply of eggs for Egghead’s needs. Therefore, Old McDonald’s Chicken Ranch would be Egghead’s ideal target.”

“You may be right, Batman, but your information about Egghead’s diet gave me another idea. Could I talk you into covering the ranch while I follow a hunch?”

“I’d be happy to do so.”

“Thank you.”

“Would you share your inspiration?”

“Sure. Egghead’s last plot was to mix one of Catwoman’s personality altering drugs into egg products and transform Gotham City into a town of crooks. While he carried out that nefarious operation at Peter Paltry’s Poultry farm, his base of operations was an establishment called Eggs R’ Us. It’s possible he may have stashed a fresh supply of eggs there for his dietary needs.”

“I take it Peter Paltry was an alias for Egghead?”

“Correct.”

“I think your hunch may be worth pursuing, Batgirl.”

“I’m glad you agree. Good luck.”

“To you, too, Batgirl. Goodbye.”

Batgirl cradled and covered the Batphone before hurrying to the Batgirlcycle.

A refrigerator truck parked at the loading dock behind Eggs R’ Us told Batgirl her hunch was correct. Chickadee emerging and pushing a heavily-laden handcart into the truck clinched the argument.

Batgirl hurried to the door from which the brunette henchwoman had emerged and slipped inside. Thirty seconds after she melted into a shadows, the twins approached, pushing similarly-laden handcarts. Once they had passed, Batgirl hurried in the direction from which they had come.

She found Egghead, wearing driving gloves and a long, pale overcoat, packing egg cartons into boxes to be stacked onto his henchwomen’s carts. “Nearly finished,” the criminal murmured.

“It’s your criminal career that’s finished, Egghead,” Batgirl said. “Surrender! Right now, it’s just you and me!” Batgirl let a door close behind her and locked it to separate them from Egghead’s henchwomen.

“Batgirl!” Egghead said, nearly dropping the carton of eggs he was loading into a nearly full box. The villain inhaled and let his breath out slowly.

“That’s right,” the heroine sweetly replied. “Surprise!”

“Not really. If my plans for you had been successful, all of Gotham City would have heard the blast as its government’s back offices went up in smoke. This habit you have of surviving really is becoming irritating. I hope you don’t mind my saying so.”

“You know what they say about the fittest.”

Egghead nodded. ‘You certainly number among them and possess an agile mind as well,’ he thought, favoring Batgirl with a slight bow and smiling. “Indeed. Touché’!"

After acknowledging his adversary's ability, he returned to the situation at hand. "So, you found me,” Egghead said flatly.

“Even clever criminals have habits their pursuers can use to track them down. You’ll be dealt with fairly in a court of law,” Batgirl said. “You should be smart enough to know crime doesn’t pay. Once again, overconfidence–”

“Oh, please spare me the sermonizing, Batgirl. You’re becoming almost as tiresome as Batman.”

“All right,” Batgirl said, pulling a pair of Batcuffs from her belt and advancing on the criminal. “I’m placing you under arrest. Raise your hands.”

Egghead raised his hands. “There is one tiny little thing you’ve forgotten, Batgirl.”

“What might that be?”

“Your back is to the door. When the girls snuck in here, you didn’t have a clue.”

“I locked them out. You’ll have to do better than that.”

“It looks to me like the lock on that door didn’t slow them down at all. If you snap those cuffs on my wrists, they’ll have you.”

Batgirl knew Egghead knew the scenario he was orchestrating constituted one of the oldest tricks in the book. Yet, it was just possible one of Egghead’s henchwomen either had a key or could bypass the lock and the door would not betray them as they snuck in. If she turned, Egghead would be behind her, but if she did not, his three assistants could have the drop on her. She took a deep breath and pivoted slightly, trying to keep Egghead in sight while she stole a glance behind her.

Michelle and Suzette Cook were crouched behind her and flanked Chickadee! All three seemed prepared to fight.

Batgirl was sinking into her own fighting crouch as she felt herself shoved toward her attackers. “Egg-sterminate her, girls!”

Batgirl fell onto her hands and tumbled forward toward the onrushing Chickadee. Purple high-heels slammed into the henchwoman’s abdomen and sent the Bronx beauty sprawling.

The Cook twins snatched Batgirl’s arms and pulled her backward, slamming her into a wall. Batgirl charged at them and they each raised a knee into her abdomen. As she doubled over, Batgirl spread her arms and embraced both sisters, drawing them together with an audible smack.

Chickadee had recovered when Batgirl straightened. A tremendous slap dropped Batgirl. As the brunette prepared to follow up with a devastating kick, Batgirl pulled Chickadee’s ankle and brought the Bronx-born woman down hard.

She glanced at the twins and noticed they had not regained their feet. She stepped toward them, prepared to remove one from the fight. Their tandem attack surprised her.

Suzette rolled onto her side and spread her legs before bringing them together in a motion reminiscent of scissors. The complex kick caught Batgirl’s ankles and knees simultaneously, robbing the heroine of balance. At the same time, Michelle spun from one knee, slamming the heel of an extended leg into Batgirl’s head. Batgirl collapsed, stunned.

“Good work,” Egghead complimented. “Let’s go. Take the Batgirlcycle so she can’t follow us.”

“Won’t the cops be after us?” Chickadee asked.

“Batgirl and her caped ilk tend to work on their own. We’ll be far enough ahead of them and the police to escape, if we hurry.”

“Do you want . . .” Suzette began.

“. . . the rest of the eggs? And shall we eliminate Batgirl . . .” Michelle asked.

“. . . before we go?” Suzette concluded.

“Both of the pleasures you recommend would best be deferred,” Egghead reluctantly decided. “Time is of the essence. Come.”

When Batgirl recovered from Michelle’s kick, the villains had all fled. She raced outside and saw that all of the vehicles she had seen were gone–including the Batgirlcycle!

She stood frowning momentarily with her hands on her hips, before reaching for at item in her utility belt. A grim smile curled the corners of her mouth without reaching her eyes.

Suzette Cook clung to her sister on the back of the Batgirlcycle as the twins followed Egghead and Chickadee toward their riverside rendezvous with the getaway boat. Suddenly, the bike swung into a fluid turn that brought it around, sending it speeding in the opposite direction.

For once, the twins’ thoughts were not in synch. “Where are you going?!” Suzette demanded over the roar of the engine.

“I don’t know! I didn’t do that!!” Michelle protested.

“Turn around!!” Michelle wrenched the handlebars, but the bike continued on its chosen course.

“I’m trying! It isn’t working!!”

“You should have let me drive!”

“Shut up!”

The Batgirlcycle accelerated as it hurtled along the road to Eggs R’ Us. Batgirl was clearly visible as the bike made the sharp turn into the parking lot and went on hurtling toward the building.

Michelle had read up on Gotham City’s heroes. She knew none of them had ever killed an arch-criminal opponent and that Batman typically allowed his defeated enemies to retain their dignity between capture and arrest. Batgirl, however, was known to indulge in petty revenge from time to time, which had never seriously harmed the villains. As the wall of the building loomed ever closer, she began to consider the circumstances of her own case. As her mind raced, she became more and more doubtful.

“Hey!” Suzette blurted out as Michelle shoved her backward off of the Batgirlcycle. Her hands hit the pavement and she tucked her head into her chest as she tumbled head over heels to come to rest with a smack. She was dismayed to hear fabric tear as she moved, gasping as her body was overwhelmed by pain.

Michelle hurled herself from the Batgirlcycle, rolling across the pavement as the bike turned sharply just ahead of the building, abruptly stopping. She exhaled the breath she did not realize she had been holding and turned her head to find Batgirl standing over her.

A wry smile curled Batgirl's lips as she bent down, pulling Batcuffs from her utility belt.

As Batgirl shackled her sister, Suzette gritted her teeth, rising to the balls of her feet and fled. Tatters of the fleeing twin’s skirt trailed behind her, offering more than occasional, tantalizing glimpses of her undergarments.

Watching, Michelle suddenly realized how real and subtle Batgirl’s pettiness could be. She glanced along the length of her body, hoping her outfit had sustained less damage when she had tumbled to the pavement. What she saw dismayed her.

Seconds later, something whizzed past Suzette's ear and the henchwoman saw a bat diving toward her head. It was upon her before she could raise her arm defensively and blackness followed the impact she had barely anticipated.

Batgirl’s familiar garb had remained utterly intact as she had orchestrated the sisters' capture and she seemed utterly calm as she retrieved her Batarang. Only the heroine’s smile as she Batcuffed Suzette betrayed her satisfaction at her captives’ appearance. She let the sisters stew as she reached for her cell phone and reported their capture to her father.

“So,” Commissioner Gordon said over the phone. “Egghead and Chickadee have escaped?”

“I don’t have them, but I believe they plan to go flee to Bermuda. There is still a chance to intercept them.”

“I’ll get right on that. It’s a tall order, though.”

“Don’t worry, Commissioner. I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of them and the Mayor firing Egghead now will be a mere formality.”

“You’re right, of course, Batgirl. Thank you for all of your help.”

“You’re welcome.”

Their conversation ended, Batgirl sighed. The capture of the Cook twins was some small consolation, of course, as was the fact she had prevented Egghead from stealing the bulk of the city’s funds. It was, however, depressing that Egghead had, for now, escaped justice.

As she waited for the police to come pick up her captives, the Dominoed Daredoll considered the events of the past twelve months. It had not been one of her better years.

On the one hand, she had been responsible for putting the Penguin behind bars. With assistance from the Distaff Duo, she had helped incarcerate Black Widow, Ma and Legs Parker. Thanks to Robin and Flamebird, Playgirl was also in custody. In addition, the Riddler, too, was a resident of Gotham State Penitentiary.

On the other side of the ledger, Batgirl did not consider the death of Catwoman to be a positive. The fate of the Scarecrow was still unknown. The Siren; False-Face, who had escaped prison when Playgirl did; and, for the moment, Egghead remained at large.

‘I wonder what the future holds?’

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