How to Hatch a Dinosaur


How to Hatch a Dinosaur was broadcast as the concluding episode of the two-part adventure begun with The Ogg and I. As such, it did not suffer as much from being moved from its position as the third part of the original Egghead and Olga trilogy. There were, however, some interesting changes from the script, as well as some other points I would like to make.


In the opening sequence, the Boy Scout lost a line, that would have made even more sense at the conclusion of a third unsuccessful attempt at helping the old lady across the street.

BOY SCOUT
(looking at street)
I think we better give it up, ma’am.
There goes my merit badge . . .

At the Gotham City Radium Center, the technician menaced by Ossip is played by a woman, rather than being a male as envisioned in the script. As a red-blooded American male myself – and considering Pat Becker wore only tights (or pantyhose!) under her lab coat – I’d have to say this was a change for the better!

Also, the script has the technician threatened by a knife, rather than a sword as shown. In addition, there is nothing in the script to indicate Egghead’s struggle carrying the radium case, compared to the relative ease with which the woman techie handled the container. This may have been a nice ad-lib by Vincent Price.

By the way, Ossip is the only Cossack to get a name in any of the episodes. None of them received a credit, despite their cries of “Mrozhky! (or Vlozhky!) Mrozhky! Hie! Hie! Mrozhky!” and the memorable line, “I love caviar.”

The original script had Olga, Egghead and the Cossacks lock the technicians in the laboratory. It then gave the technician the following lines:

TECHNICIAN
(alarmed)
We’re locked in. And two pounds
of radium is nothing for kooks
like that to fool around with!
(hammers on door)
Help! Let us out of here!
Help...!

The script indicates this ends the teaser and leads into the main title, but the broadcast episode moved to the Commissioner’s office, cutting the following speech by Stafford Repp:

CHIEF O’HARA
Aye, and it’s good to see you
behind your old desk again,
Commissioner. When Egghead and
that Cossack woman kidnapped
you, we didn’t know whether
we’d ever see you in it again
or not. And there’s no one
else who could fill it, I can
tell you that.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
(touched)
Thank you, Chief O’Hara.


Later, in the Batcave, Alfred reveals a fact about himself when Robin, talking about his and the Commissioner’s ordeal in the previous episode, says, “We would have been in the soup for good!”

ALFRED
I have never been a great lover of
borscht, Master Robin.

Right before the end of the teaser, Batman and the Commissioner lost some lines. In response to Gordon’s televised sentiment, “I’m afraid this is only the first step in a much larger crime,” Batman says:

BATMAN
I’m sure of it, Commissioner.
This is much too small a theft
to interest them, unless it were
instrumental in some larger
escapade.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
But what is their larger scheme,
Batman?

BATMAN
I don’t know, Commissioner.
Robin and I were trying to consult
the Batcomputer about that.
Instead,

This admittedly repetitive and unnecessary dialogue was cut and the exchange ended with Batman saying, “We’ll come right down.” Batman then said, “Let’s go, Robin!” and as our heroes headed to town, the teaser as shown ended.


Barbara lost a couple of lines at the museum. The Neosaurus egg is described as being “inside a glass case.”

Barbara stops, looks at the egg and then back toward the stuffed model of a NEOSAURUS.

BARBARA
(aloud to self)
That animal came out of an egg
like that???
(little gulp)
And Egghead’s on the loose . . . ?

Perhaps they sought to eliminate showing Barbara talking to herself.

Later in the scene, Barbara lost a couple more lines and Jon Lormer lost a little joke. The professor observes that the Neosaurus egg is, “an interesting scientific curio, but hardly worth anything. Except perhaps to a paleontologist,

PROFESSOR DACTYL
colleagues who are prone to
larceny.

BARBARA
I suppose you’re right, Professor.
There wouldn’t be any point in
stealing it.

After Babs and the Prof depart, Olga and Egghead enter. They, too, lost some lines.

Egghead explains to Olga the meaning of enlightening. “Instructive. Informative. The young lady with the Professor thought I might steal the only eggsisiting Neosaurus egg in the Western World. Forty million years old.”

EGGHEAD
Then she
thought I might not steal it . . .

OLGA
All women change minds, Eggski.
And it doesn’t take forty million
years.

EGGHEAD
Eggsactly, Olga! That’s what was
enlightening. Nobody thinks I’m
stupid enough to steal it.

OLGA
Are you?

EGGHEAD
Often it is the clever man who
is thought a fool – by the
foolish . . .

OLGA
Sounds like old Bessarovian
proverb . . .

EGGHEAD
(proudly)
An eggsclusive Egghead eggspression!

Then, as on TV, Olga observes the egg is probably stale. Egghead and Olga continue their conversation, then more was cut from the end.

The criminals have to deal with that glass case. Egghead (and Stanford Sherman) make a pun . . .

EGGHEAD
If you would score the egg . . .

Olga takes out her sabre and SCORES the glass panel. Then they lift out the glass and set it down beside the case. During this:

OLGA
I’m looking beautiful, Eggski –
but also looking curious.
Just why are you taking this
stale egg?

EGGHEAD
My scheme is so unusual, Olga,
it is beyond the imagination
of the average man!

OLGA
Average man? Olga, Queen of the
Cossacks, is not average man, Eggski!

EGGHEAD
(shhhhing her)
You don’t need to tell the whole
Museum!

OLGA
Am not telling Museum. Am
telling you!

EGGHEAD
Be patient, Olga. And let’s
roll this egg out of here. You
will find out the enormity of
my plan in due time.

OLGA
Due? Like in owing bills?

EGGHEAD
No, my dear. Due – like in
later.

During this, they lift the egg out of the case and onto the floor and begin ROLLING IT OUT. PAN WITH THEM as they roll the egg across the floor and OUT.

ANGLE ON EMPTY EGG CASE

WE HEAR Barbara and professor Dactyl approaching.

BARBARA
This whole museum is fascinating,
Professor.

PROFESSOR DACTYL
Thank you for your charming company,
my dear. Surrounded as I am by such
bones and fossils, it’s a pleasant
change to spend some time with flesh
and filigree.

BARBARA
You’re very gallant, Prof—

She stops in mid-sentence.

WIDER ANGLE - INCLUDE BARBARA AND PROFESSOR DACTYL

They have stopped in front of the egg case and are staring at it.

PROFESSOR DACTYL
My Neosaurus egg! It’s gone!

BARBARA
I should have known my hunch
was right.

PROFESSOR DACTYL
But who did it, Miss Gordon?

BARBARA
It bears the familiar marks of
a job by Egghead – Gotham City’s
notorious arch-criminal.

PROFESSOR DACTYL
But why on earth would anyone
want to steal a Neosaurus egg?

Which line Commissioner Gordon repeats in the televised episode. While on the phone with Barbara, after telling her the information about the robbery at the Radium Center is “off the record,” the script adds:

COMMISSIONER GORDON
We haven’t released it to the newspapers yet.


Interestingly, Mary Benoit as Petula had her last line completely changed. In the script she concludes her observation about Bruce Wayne with:

PETULA
He’s the only one who might have a copy.

They must have wanted to get her out of the scene, because on TV she leaves, saying, “Excuse me, Barbara. I have someone waiting for this copy of Robert Frost.”

While on the phone with Alfred, a sentence of Barbara’s was cut:

BARBARA
For obvious reasons, I don’t
want anyone else to know that I’m
inquiring about this.

Right before the commercial, Barbara has, unfortunately, a few more lines cut. I think this would have been funnier, having Barbara, Robin, and later Olga all saying the same thing.

BARBARA
(exultant)
That’s it! His whole scheme is clear
as day. He plans to revitalize that
fossil egg and hatch it! But . . . that’s
impossible.


Right after the commercial is a scene with a continuity blooper which is a mistake whether How to Hatch a Dinosaur comes before or after The Ogg Couple. In Egghead and Olga’s latest hideout, the Egg of Ogg is once again clearly visible!

As run, this is, once again, before they have stolen it. Even in the originally envisioned order, however, this makes no sense.

Recall that the Egg of Ogg was also in the hideout where the villains attempted to cook Robin and Commissioner Gordon. Egghead and Olga only made their escape by using Egghead’s tear gas eggs. In strains belief to think one of the Cossacks would have had the presence of mind – to say nothing of the strength – to scoop up the Egg and take it with him . . . on his horse!


The script gave Egghead additional lines as he prepared to zap the egg:

EGGHEAD
I’m all set, Olga. You’d better
stand back here with me. I’m
going to hit that thing with a
whole truckload of radiation.

Olga joins Egghead at the control console of his zapper, and the yegg aims the gunlike snout of the machine toward the fossil egg.

CLOSE ON EGGHEAD

He poises his hand over the firing button.

EGGHEAD
Ready . . . aim . . . eggsplode!


The script envisioned showing us the Terrific Trio’s approach to the warehouse. Batman responds to Batgirl’s observation about hindsight and foresight with:

BATMAN
I couldn’t have put it better

Then, after Batgirl expresses her liking of crashing parties . . .

ANOTHER ANGLE

The respective vehicles are parked. Then the three of them move toward the warehouse.

CLOSER SHOT

BATMAN
You two go in this way. I’m going
around back. I’ve got a little
surprise for them.

After Batgirl and Robin crash into the warehouse, Robin got a line at the expense of Olga. His, “Hatch this, Egghead,” is not in the original script. Instead we find the inspiring:

OLGA
(turns)
What is?

The script has Egghead taking a more active role in putting Batgirl at sword’s edge. After Olga observes, “Is little red one and the Batgirl,” Egghead responds:

EGGHEAD
And your Cossacks aren’t doing so
well, either.

VARIOUS SHOTS - THE FIGHT

The Cossacks are taking it on the collective ear. Batgirl and Robin are mincing them fine.

ANGLE ON EGGHEAD AND OLGA

EGGHEAD
It’s time for one of my dastardly
tricks.

OLGA
Don’t talk, do.

WIDER ANGLE

Egghead comes up behind Batgirl and grabs her, holding a scimitar (or whatever) which prevents an immediate counter-assault.

Egghead’s line, “Bring them in here so they can witness my triumph,” was moved from between his “patent on slimy tricks" line and Olga’s questioning of Batushka’s (Batnik in the script) whereabouts.

I love the way Price delivered, “A hungry Neosaurus, my little friends.” This single line reminds us he was one of the most accomplished actors in horror films of the time.


Batman’s explanation for why he didn’t simply joined in the fight was changed on the set. As broadcast, he expressed concern about one of the Cossacks being injured. The script’s explanation makes more sense. “If I’d joined you in the fight . . .

BATMAN
. . . some of them would have inevitably escaped. This way,
I frightened them into surrendering
en masse.

The end of the episode was a little different. Just as televised, in response to Robin’s suggestion they follow Batgirl, Batman says, “With my head sticking out of a Neosaurus costume, Robin?” Instead of concluding, “I might not appear like an ordinary, average, run-of-the-mill crimefighter?” Batman says,

BATMAN
Don’t you think that would call
undue attention to an average,
run-of-the-mill crimefighter?

ROBIN
Gosh yes, Batman! You’re right!
(as Batman fidgets
in his costume)
But you’re going to have to
get out of those forty million
year-old threads sometime . . . !

ANGLE IN on Robin, who now realizes Batman is in a bit of a wardrobe fix (this was long before the term "wardrobe malfunction" entered pop culture!) – and suddenly finds it amusing.

ROBIN
Or maybe we’ll have to put
you back in the egg!

With this, he goes into an impromptu parody of the Cossacks’ Spozhky! Spozhky! Hie! Hie! Spozhky! - - as we - - - FADE OUT

I would have loved to have seen this! I bet Burt would have, too!


The tag for the Egghead and Olga trilogy was originally to lead into the Riddler episode. So, rather than Barbara’s birthday “party” and the phone call from Skip Parker previewing Surf’s Up! Joker’s Under! we would have seen:

INT. COMMISSIONER GORDON’S OFFICE

Commissioner Gordon at desk, Barbara opposite him.

BARBARA
Batman? Disguised as a 40,000,000
year old Neosaurus? It must have
been fantastic, Daddy!

COMMISSIONER GORDON
Fantastic and effective, Barbara.
We won’t be hearing from Egghead,
Olga and those Bessarovian Cos-
sacks until their parole board
meets. In about five years.

INTERCOM BUZZES on his desk. Gordon FLICKS IT ON.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
Yes, Bonnie?

RIDDLER’S VOICE
(over intercom)
Riddle me this, Commissioner!

COMMISSIONER GORDON
(very surprised)
Riddle . . . ????

INT. A DESK - DAY (LIMBO)

RIDDLER is at desk, talking over INTERCOM. As this is supposedly Commissioner Gordon’s secretary’s desk, a picture of the Commissioner should be prominent, a nameplate on desk reads BONNIE PATTERSON, etc..

RIDDLER
(tauntingly)
When are gloves kept on ice?

COMMISSIONER GORDON’S VOICE
(over intercom)
Gloves? On ice?

RIDDLER
When a prize-fight’s fixed!

INT. COMMISSIONER GORDON’S OFFICE - COMMISSIONER GORDON AND BARBARA

COMMISSIONER GORDON
(into intercom)
Riddler! Riddler, what’re you
doing in that . . .

BONNIE’S VOICE
(interrupts over
intercom)
What, Commissioner?

COMMISSIONER GORDON
(flabbergasted)
Bonnie, I was just talking to
the Riddler on this intercom!
What happened?

BONNIE VOICE
(over intercom)
I don’t know, Commissioner. I
stepped out of the office a minute,
and nobody’s here now.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
(frustrated sigh)
Well, all right.
(to Barbara, as he
flicks intercom off)
I could be wrong, but I could
have sworn that was the Riddler!
If I swore. And he has some
felonious plan for fixing a
prize fight . . . !

BARBARA
(amused)
Well, Daddy, at least there’s
never a dull moment around here.
From 40,000,000 year old reptiles
to present day riddles in a matter
of minutes!

NARRATOR
AND HOW RIGHT SHE IS!!! NEVER A
DULL MOMENT FOR COMMISSIONER GORDON –
AND THE DYNAMIC DUO – AND GOTHAM CITY!
WITH THE RIDDLER BACK TO PUZZLE AND
PERPLEX THEM ALL!!! AS YOU’LL SEE IN
THE NEXT EPISODE . . . !!!


Now that we are at the end of our examination of the Egghead and Olga trilogy, here is a short “exam” for you:

Riddle me this –

Were we ever shown the Cossacks on horseback?


Yes


No