The record to which Batwoman had been glued began to rotate as the arm carrying the deadly needle swung into position at the edge of the record. Fortunately, the record was spinning too slowly to make her dizzy.
She calculated the needle would reach her in about nine minutes. The record was blaring out music so loudly it made communication between the Distaff Duo impossible.
Flamebird, too, was held fast by the sticky substance coating her costume and arms. Positioned behind her mentor, she could see the needle approaching. She surveyed her surroundings, looking for a way out. The Goggled Gal could see the power cord to Catwoman’s deathtrap, but had no way to reach it.
As the needle grew nearer, Batwoman tried moving sideways and felt the record beneath her move. The rubber cement-like substance did not prevent lateral body movement!
She repeated the move with more vigour and the needle was thrown out of the track. Her reprieve, however, was short-lived, as the record player had a fail-safe designed to return the needle to the starting position if this happened. In half a minute, the music began to play again.
Flamebird was able to observe her mentor’s delaying tactic. She also noticed it was getting lighter. ‘We must have been unconscious for quite some time,’ the Girl Wonder thought. Then she realised it was strange she could tell dawn was approaching, since they were in a windowless room. She looked around, as much as her predicament would allow, trying to discover the answer to the mystery.
She could see the eastern wall was riddled with holes. That was from where the light was coming. ‘Maybe those holes were caused by this laser. Now, if there was only some way to have the beam loosen this glue!’
Unfortunately, Flamebird could not think of a solution. ‘I can’t reach my utility belt, because my arms are stuck to this not-so-compact disc! and Batwoman can’t cause that needle to skip forever!’
Again and again, Batwoman threw the needle out of its track, but each time it restarted. Over and over Batwoman repeated the life-saving process. Hours passed.
Finally, Batwoman was at the point of exhaustion. ‘I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up!’ she thought.
Suddenly, the music stopped!
Chief O’Hara had turned off the record player! He wandered over to the Distaff Duo. Both Flamebird’s and Batwoman’s ears were ringing from the loud music, but, except for Batwoman being very tired, they were otherwise unharmed.
“Thanks, Chief!” Batwoman said. “How did you find us?”
“I was visiting my daughter, who lives in the next block, and heard that awful music blaring away, well in excess of the noise limit for a residential area, so I came over to stop it.“
“Criminals have no regard for noise control,” Batwoman said.
Batwoman told the Chief there was a spare Bat-kit in her Bat-Gyro. It took the policeman a few minutes to get to the roof of the adjacent building and back, but once he did, it didn’t take long for Batwoman to tell him which chemical in the kit would neutralise the substance holding them fast.
Back at Gotham State University, King Tut was busy issuing an order. “Alexandria, I want you to summon all the Royal handmaidens that have ever been privileged to serve me.”
“Yes, your majesty,” Alexandria replied. The graduate student was once again under the Faux Pharaoh’s spell. “What about the men?”
“No men this time . . . for there is something else Bastet’s Belt does to its owner.”
King Tut’s voice dropped to a near-whisper and his face became a bit red. “Bastet was also a Goddess of Fertility. Within five minutes, the belt will increase Catwoman’s libido tenfold. I will be the only man in the vicinity when she acquires the belt!
"In addition, to seal the deal, I've acquired a potent love potion made by a former colleague of mine. Its creator was a chemistry professor at Vassar when I was on the Yale faculty. At that time, Vassar was Yale's sister institution.
"Anyway, I'll expose Catwoman to the potion. She'll find me irresistible!"
"I think you're already irresistible, Your Majesty," said Alexandria, admiration evident in her eyes.
"Of course, my dear," Tut said, condescendingly. He continued. "I’ll have a high priestess perform the marriage ceremony for Catwoman and me. Then I will finally have a queen, befitting a monarch of my stature, to rule by my side!”
A twinge of jealousy struck Alexandria, but it was soon overwhelmed by her fealty to her king. She hurried off to do her master’s bidding.
Batgirl parked the Batgirlcycle in the visitors’ parking lot of the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee. She quickly made her way to the Golda Meir Library, arriving just after 6:30 p.m. the day after leaving Gotham City. The library was still open, so she entered.
Batgirl had missed Eenie by a matter of minutes. In fact, Catwoman’s henchwoman spotted the Batgirlcycle en route to her car. The curvy criminal incorrectly concluded her purple nemesis must have somehow planted a homing device on her vehicle. Eenie searched her car, but couldn’t find a bug.
Eenie didn’t want Batgirl hounding her all the way to Death Valley. ‘If I can’t dispose of her tracking device, then I’ll have to make sure Batgirl can’t follow me.’ As a fiendish plan formed in her mind, a sinister smile crossed her face.
The Special Collections were housed on the fourth floor of the library. As Batgirl made her way upstairs, she noted that area was supposed to have closed at five o’clock.
Upon reaching her destination, the Svelte Sentinel found an unconscious librarian crumpled on the floor, in front of a broken glass case. Using some smelling salts, she revived the girl.
“Are you alright?” Batgirl asked.
“Yes, I think so,” the co-ed said. She quickly got over the shock of having a famous superheroine tending to her. “I was just showing a young lady the Bastet Manuscript. This section is closed, but when she said she had come all the way from Gotham City, I decided to let her take a look. Then she scratched me and I passed out!”
“Eenie’s no lady. I’m afraid she has stolen the Bastet Manuscript . . . and I don’t have any means of tracking her!” Batgirl stated angrily.
“Well, Batgirl, I do!” the librarian replied proudly. “The Bastet Manuscript is so valuable and rare that we inserted a radio transmitter into its cover!”
The young woman supplied Batgirl with the frequency of the signal. She then went about the business of tidying up the broken glass.
Batgirl rushed outside. She hoped to be able to catch Eenie and the priceless manuscript before they got anywhere near Death Valley.
The heroine mounted the Batgirlcycle and drove off, but her bike felt very sluggish. Less than two hundred yards later, something popped in her engine. She got off and inspected the damage.
Much to her surprise, she discovered that her exhaust had been blocked with pussy willows!
Just then, Eenie pulled up in a cat-illac. “Having engine trouble, Batgirl?” she taunted. “Obviously, your gas tank doesn’t like the sugar I poured into it, but it sure sounds sweet to my ears.”
“This is not over, Eenie. You might have slowed me down, but I’ll catch up with you eventually!”
Suddenly, four powerful arms grabbed the Dominoed Daredoll from behind and lifted her off the ground. Two burly thugs each grabbed one of Batgirl’s arms, while another two secured her shapely legs in a similar fashion. Despite her best attempts to break free, the thugs were just too strong and Batgirl squirmed helplessly in mid-air, much to Eenie’s delight.
“Well, my old gang might have something to say about that. I’d love to stick around and see how things turn out, but I’m on a rather tight schedule. You boys know what to do.”
“Yeah. We’ll take real good care of her,” said one thug, as Eenie drove off.
“Let go of me!” Batgirl yelled as she continued to look for a means of escape.
“No chance, Bat-babe. We are going to take you somewhere a bit more private, where we can all get to know you really well. Then we’re going to throw you off Inspiration Point!” Batgirl didn’t know where Inspiration Point was, but it didn’t sound too pleasant.
Just then, across the street, a roller door opened and a man strolled out. He was about five foot, nine inches tall and of medium build with brown eyes. He was wearing a brown leather jacket, partly unzipped, revealing a white T-shirt underneath. Blue jeans and boots matched his jacket.
Despite her desperate circumstances, Batgirl found him quite handsome. She couldn’t believe how nice his hair looked.
The man saw the thugs and Batgirl. “Woooo. That is no way to treat a lady.”
“Please, citizen, stay out of this,” Batgirl pleaded, fearing for the man’s safety.
“Yeah! Dat’s right!” said the thugs’ leader, who stood six foot six and bulged with muscles. “Listen to da broad, pee wee. Nobody messes with the Turks.”
“You are so right,” the man replied. “The Fonz usually never messes with turkeys.”
The thugs leader was enraged. “Dis will wipe da smile off dat smart mouth of yars!” he shouted as he charged across the street.
Unbelievably, the man didn’t move as the thug wound up and punched him squarely in the solar plexus. Even more unbelievably, the blow had no effect.
The thug looked gob-smacked. “My turn,” the man said calmly. He punched the behemoth in the stomach and watched him collapse in a heap.
The other thugs looked on in disbelief. Batgirl seized the opportunity and pulled her lovely legs from the grasp of her distracted captors.
As Batgirl’s feet fell to the ground, she brought both of her heels crashing down on the feet of the thugs who were still holding her arms. They let her go with a yelp.
The man waded in to the melee and cracked their heads together. The pair slumped to the ground. The remaining thug turned tail and ran.
“Thank you very much, sir,” Batgirl said, turning to face her rescuer.
“Arthur Fonzarelli, at your service,” he said. “You must be the one and only Batgirl.”
“You’ve heard of me?” she queried.
“Crimefighting is very cool and you are definitely my number one crimefighting chick.”
“Well, I’m flattered Mr Fonzarelli, but right now I need to find a garage and repair my Batgirlcycle.”
“Then, please, allow me. I teach shop and my garage is just across the street. Call me Fonzie.”
They wheeled the Batgirlcycle into the adjacent garage and Fonzie removed the pussy willows and performed some tests. “We’ll have to flush the sugar out and replace the starter motor and spark plugs. It will take a while, though.
“Could you pick a song on the jukebox? I like to listen to music when I work.”
The jukebox swallowed Batgirl’s quarter, but remained silent. ”Your jukebox won’t co-operate, Fonzie,” Batgirl complained.
Fonzie walked over and whacked the jukebox with his fist. The jukebox swung to life.
“One two three o’clock, four o’clock, rock. Five six seven o’clock, eight o’clock, rock. Nine ten eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock rock. We’re going to rock, around the clock tonight.”
As Fonzie worked, Batgirl took the opportunity to call Commissioner Gordon’s office on her cellphone. She asked her father to pass on the frequency of the radio transmission to her crimefighting colleagues.
Moments later, the Bat-phone beeped in stately Wayne Manor. After a brief conversation with the Commissioner, Bruce Wayne activated the switch in the bust of Shakespeare that revealed the Bat-poles. Seconds later, he arrived in the Batcave as Batman. He entered the frequency into the Bat-Radar in the Batmobile.
Alfred, who was cleaning the Batcave, asked if he should contact Master Dick.
“No, Alfred, Dick has important charity work to do on behalf of the Wayne Foundation. It’s best he concentrate on that for now. Besides, Batgirl and Batwoman will join me on this investigation.”
In the Batcavern, Batwoman had also just received a call from the Commissioner. She switched the radar in her Bat-Gyro onto the desired frequency and saw a bleep at the edge of her screen.
“Where do you think they’re going?” Flamebird asked as she, too, loaded the frequency into her Bat-Gyro.
“I don’t know,” replied Batwoman, “but you should sit this one out.”
“But . . . I want to help you, Aunt Kathy.”
“I know you do, Betty, however, you have an important match coming up. I know your tennis career is also very dear to you. Besides, if someone should notice Betty Kane forfeits whenever Flamebird is in action, someone might put two and two together.”
“Well, when you put it that way . . .”
Batwoman took off in her Bat-Gyro. Flamebird sat glumly at the computer in the Batcavern.
Suddenly, inspiration struck. The blonde woman checked the weather report at the site of the upcoming tournament.
‘A front’s moving in . . . and it’s supposed to rain for three straight days!’
At approximately one a.m., Fonzie and Batgirl finished replacing the damaged parts on the Batgirlcycle. “Now, we just have to flush out the sugar and it will be perfectamundo,” Fonzie proclaimed.
“I think I’ll grab a quick nap while you do that,” the Caped Cutie replied, yawning.
“You are more than welcome to stay at my place,” Fonzie replied. “Your Batgirlcycle will be ready by seven.” Batgirl didn’t have anywhere else to go and she was happy to avoid the expense of a hotel, plus saving the time of changing to and back from Barbara Gordon. She graciously accepted the Fonz’s offer.
Like a true gentleman, Fonzie took the sofa, while his gorgeous guest slept on his bed. At about six Batgirl woke up. She made her way to the kitchen and found Fonzie had made her a breakfast of waffles with maple syrup, hash browns, scrambled eggs and a banana smoothie.
She was thrilled to find that the food tasted as good as it looked. She managed to get in a quick shower before they left to check on the Batgirlcycle. It was ready and firing on all cylinders – much like Batgirl. Her cellphone rang.
“Hello, Batgirl, this is Batman. About 195 years ago, an eccentric millionaire imported an Egyptian pyramid.”
“Along with the numerous ancient Egyptian artefacts and relics contained within!” Batgirl could hear Batwoman add in the background.
“Yes,” the Caped Crusader agreed drily. He continued. “The millionaire placed his pyramid at a secret location in Death Valley, but a massive earthquake literally swallowed it five years later. Several expeditions tried to find the pyramid. but none succeeded.”
“So, you suspect this lost pyramid contains Bastet’s Belt?” Batgirl surmised.
“Yes,” her two colleagues replied simultaneously.
“I’ll be there, as soon as I can,” Batgirl said.
Batgirl looked at a highway map that was lying in Fonzie’s garage. She estimated it would take her nearly two days to reach Arizona travelling at the top legal speed.
“Could I make a suggestion?” Fonzie asked.
“Of course.”
“In my youth, I used to race against bikers. To avoid the law, we raced in spillways. After a while, I learned those spillways stretch across most of the country. If you travel by spillway, there is no traffic to worry about and there is no speed limit, so you can travel way faster than you can on the interstate. I know someone who monitors the spillways. I’ll call him and get him to plot you a map.”
Batgirl had never heard of such a thing. ‘Maybe I do need to get out of Gotham City more often!’
After thinking it over, Batgirl said, “Okay, I’ll do it!”
She offered to pay for the work and parts, but Fonzie wouldn’t take a cent.
“I don’t know how I can thank you, Fonzie. You’ve been ‘perfectamundo.’”
“Well . . . would it be too much to ask for a little peck on the cheek from my numero uno crimefighting chick?”
Batgirl leant over and grabbed Fonzie’s leather jacket. She dipped him and then kissed him squarely on his lips. She carried on kissing him as she walked his body to the ground.
He was still smiling as she hopped onto her Batgirlcycle and rode off. Half an hour later, Mrs. C walked in through the garage door.
“Arthur, what on Earth are you doing on the ground?!”
He murmured something unintelligible. She spotted the lipstick on Fonzie’s face. “So,” she said, “you’ve finally met your match. Who is she?”
“Batgirl,” Fonzie replied.
“Sit on it, Arthur,” Mrs. C huffed. She left the garage with Fonzie still lying on the floor, smiling like a lovesick puppy.
Just over seven hours later, Batgirl left the spillways and drove the rest of the way to Death Valley on public roads. Using her cellphone, she arranged to rendezvous with Batman and Batwoman. She joined the pair behind a sand dune, overlooking a large expanse of desert.
In the distance, she could make out an Egyptian tent. The temporary structure was next to what appeared to be the entrance to a freshly-dug tunnel, which disappeared into the sand.
“We suspect that tunnel leads to the buried pyramid. Catwoman and Tut entered just over three hours ago,” Batwoman explained.
“The wily devil posted a lookout in that tent,” Batman continued. “If we had tried to apprehend them, they would have seen us coming and hidden. We’ll wait until dark, then make our move.”
“Hi, mind if I join you?” Flamebird appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.
“Good to have you flanking us, Flamebird,” said Batman. Batgirl nodded.
Batwoman glared at her niece. Flamebird whispered to her, “I’ll explain later.”
The four talked quietly amongst themselves – mostly about past cases – until the sun went down. Some time later, using the cover of darkness, they crept up, unseen, to within a few yards of the tent.
The female bats ran down the tunnel, while Batman positioned himself near the entrance of the tent. He took out his Batarang and entered.
Batman found himself confronted by an Egyptian woman of great beauty, reclining upon several satin pillows. The woman sat up as the Caped Crusader approached.
She was wearing a bikini and a headpiece made out of pearls, as well as several pearl bangles around her wrists. A flimsy see-through sleeveless golden wrap completed her ensemble.
“Batman,” she said simply. “I was told you were dead.”
“Don’t move, ma’am,” he replied. “You’re under arrest.”
“Is it all right if put on some more clothes?” she asked. “The desert nights can be a bit chilly.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Batman replied, “but don’t try anything untoward.”
The woman reached behind her and picked up a golden skirt and jacket. Then, suddenly, she tugged sharply on a rope and the tent collapsed on top of Batman!
Batman extricated himself from the tent just in time to see the woman entering the tunnel. He followed, but was soon astonished by what he found.
There was the pyramid, situated inside a gigantic cave. The ancient building stood about sixty feet high. The pyramid was also sixty feet wide at its base.
A combination of electric lamps and flaming torches lit the bizarre scene. Batgirl, Batwoman and Flamebird were nowhere in sight.
Batman did glimpse the Egyptian woman enter a secret door on the north face of the pyramid. Giving chase, he entered.
He found himself on a small stone bridge over a pool full of hungry crocodiles. The door then slammed closed behind him! Suddenly, the stone bridge began to retract!!
WILL THE CROCODILES TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB?
WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS WOMAN?
TO FIND OUT, TUNE IN NEXT TIME . . .
APRIL 4th
SAME BAT-WEBSITE
SAME BAT-URL!