Fake bob buss- I've been in this business a long time and I happen to know

Mickey- what the hell is this?

Doug- jerry come out here and look at this

Spokesperson for movie- MTV proudly presents an original movie, 4-eva.

QT- MTV has a movie making fun of us!

Doug-I can’t believe I’m the fat one.

Chad- I cant believe I’m the dying one, will somebody please drive me to the

Mickey- what? You aren’t the dying one; I’m the dying one! Urban man over 25 I’m an endangered species!

Erin- qt's the dying one

QT- it’s true!

Jerry- yea, your the poser

Mickey- say what?

Doug- hey there's nothing wrong with a poser; there's lots of white kids who pretend they're black.

Mickey- hold it! These mugs think they can rip my crew and me and survive they think Mickey Parke's gonna let his boys be beat down like that hells no man!

Jerry- Mickey chill

Mickey- what? Oh man that’s bull man, damn!!! (Punches cabinet)

QT- here we go again!

Mickey- get off! Pardon me Erin

Erin- okay

Doug- well this is the umpthteenth tantrum this week, 1st he broke the

Qt- then he re- decorated our hotel room in Denver with a sledgehammer.

Chad- and when he was on Hollywood squares he urinated on Jason Alexander.

Tom- our lawyers went apecrud over that.

Jerry- hey Jason blocked him in a corner square, Mickey was just making

Tom- well the label has had enough with Mickey's little statements. The

Mickey- ~tied up~ damn!

Mickey- (on the computer) yea red six, ~(Chad trying to sneak down the

Chad- wait! Wait, before you kill me i have some news for you.mickey-speak!

Chad- okay well I heard about a shipment of artillery arriving downtown

this Afternoon.

Mickey- what are we standing around here for my man, let’s go!

Mickey- yo man you sure we in the right place?

Chad- yea

Physchologist- boys? You wanna come on in?

Mickey- you don't wanna pan me down or nothing? I might be clipped!

Psychologist- no, no no were all about trust here.

Mickey- aight, (sees the other 3 guys sitting inside) it’s an ambush!

Doug- we're here for you

Mickey- get off me man, why is everybody goin'

Jerry- its your anger Mickey, its bad for the band its bad for you.

Mickey- no sir, you ain’t changing Mickey p!

Doug- hey hey, that’s okay we figured you wouldn't handle your anger, that

Mickey- what? I'll deal with my anger; I’ll deal with my anger right in your face! What'cha got?

Psychologist- we're gonna play something I call the empathy game, its a roll playing exercise that helps you feel what it’s like to be on the other end of someone's anger.

Mickey- bring it on!

Psychologist- all right, lets re-en act that fit you through last week when you threw your fist through the cabinet.

Mickey-alright

Psychologist- but but but for the purposes of this game, Mickey you'll be qt.

Mickey- does it look like a nine-year-old girl to you?

Psychologist- it's just for the game

Qt- well then, who am I?

Psychologist- qt, you'll play Mickey so you'll understand where Mickey is coming from and he'll understand where you’re coming from.

Chad- why can’t I be somebody?

Psychologist- well I never really thought it was necessary...

Chad- I’ll be jerry!

Jerry- I’m Doug!

Doug- I get to be Chad! Ha ha ha ha

Psychologist- yes okay all right, qt why don't you start us off, how do you feel?

Qt- okay, umm, I’m Mickey and I’m mad at everyone about everything!

Psychologist- wonderful, Mickey?

Mickey- I’m qt and I think Mickey Parke is the biggest pimp in all da land ha ha

Jerry- qt wouldn't say that.

Mickey- shut your ass jerry!

Jerry- I’m Doug.

Mickey- shut your ass Doug!

Qt- wa wa wait, I’m Mickey, shut your ass Doug!

Chad- don't talk to my brother like that! I mean Chad’s brother, I mean I’m Jerry, I go out with Erin!

Jerry- don’t bring Erin into this!

Chad- I didn't bring Erin into this, I did!

Doug- all right everybody just be quite!

Jerry- all right now

Chad- I’m jerry! I get Erin! If I’m jerry I get Erin!!!

Jerry- I’m Doug, if I’m Doug I should be sitting over there, Chad should be sitting here and Doug over there!

Doug- can I be Erin!?! Can I be Erin? I don't wanna be Chad!

Qt- I’m Mickey! I’m Mickey 1st!

Qt- I think I just left!

Fake bob buss- boys for the next 2 days we're gonna work and train as a team, we're gonna become a real boys band! 4-eva with a four!

Chad- what? Ha ha ha where do they come up with this stuff? 4-eva with a

Jerry- this blows, I gotta go see my vocal coach!

Erin- hey jerry, grab me some batteries on your way back and I am dying for a candy bar.

Jerry- sure what kind?

Erin- just get my favorite

Jerry- your favorite, oh right.

Erin- jerry, you have no idea do you?

Jerry- what? Erin we have only been going for like 2 and a half years.

Marvin- Mickey, the label, ~walks over and takes off his head phones, shuts his music~ I said the label wants you to see a different therapist.

Mickey- man, I’m perfect the way I is!

Marvin- Mickey well uh, let me let me, tell you a little story about myself.

Mickey- oh, this outta put my ass to sleep, shoot.

Marvin- I wasn't always known as Marvin Boyd. For a time, I was a rockstar like you.

Mickey- I knew it, I knew I knew your face, you blew the lodicrat hommous! you gave the world hip-hop! The one and only funky cracker chocolate fence, one of my top favorite albums ever! Lodicrat hommous!

Marvin- lodicarite is dead! And you know who killed them?

Mickey- who?

Marvin- anger and pride, anger and pride slit ludicrat's throat from ear to ear.

Mickey- yo man, that rocks!

Marvin- you don't get it do you? Mickey, there isn't a day goes by that I don't feel personally responsible for the dangers of gangster rap. I myself have murdered Biggie and 2pac

Mickey- ooh

Marvin- I myself gave eazy e that god-hating virus

Mickey- so, so your sayin' that you stopped being a bad ass and your happy about it?

Marvin- you just remember this Mickey; the only real badass is the one that has the courage to change. Believe that

Jerry- candy man!

Erin- they have played this movie over and over, give me chocolate!

Jerry- I got you one of every kind they had, because I love you!

Erin- if you don't know my favorite then just say so, because I know all of your favorite things, and, and your real favorites not the stuff your just supposed to say for the magazines.

Jerry- I’m sorry what?

Erin- ugh

Therapist(Dr.)- Mickey, hi, I’m Dr. Kalkstein- William and I’m so glad you could come.

Mickey- what up girl?

Dr.- I’m gonna step out and fix myself a cup of econatia (?) tea, care for anything?

Mickey- no, no I’m all right

Dr.- Feel free to paruse a cat fetsy and I’ll be back in a jiffy.

Mickey- cool

Movie- me (shows pictures of celebrities like Eminem), Me (shows pictures of celebes- kid Rock, Fred Durst, etc), Happiness (shows pics of jewelry), Enemy (pics of Celine Dion, Ricky Martin, and Rosie), pain (pics of cats), Me (pic of Rosie, and James Van Der Beek), Pain (pics of jewelry, cars), Enemy (pics of eminem), Happiness (cats), pain (kidrock), Me (Celine), pain (jewelry, etc)

All 4- 222ggeetthhheerrr

Tom- I can’t tell if that sucked, or if that totally sucked! (Squeezing Chad and Doug’s shoulders)

Qt- its because Mickey's not here

Tom- he's at the shrinks, now look this gig coming up is unplugged, that means no explosions, no fancy costumes, just you and your voices, and so far your voices haven't shown up.

Mickey- hey fellas, sorry I’m late.

Doug- heey, someone dipped Mickey in a big bad of whoss!

Mickey- I would like to apologize for my behavior of late. I know I have been a real nightmare to deal with lately, and I’d like to make it up to you so I would like to handle the solo slot at the unplugged show.

Tom- are you sure your not gonna flip out and go all trench coat Mafia on us?

Mickey- no, and to prove I’m serious I’d like to handle the radio interview tomorrow.

Tom- you hate doing publicity!

Mickey- hate publicity? America without its publicity is like Matt Damon without that trillion-dollar smile!

All except Mickey- laugh

Mickey- did someone crack wise?

All except Mickey- laugh

Doug- that smells good

Mickey- freshly baked carrot muffins, help your self.

Doug- what is this noise, whale humping? You’re into gangster rap, bitches and hoes!

Mickey- I believe by hoes your referring to whores, or prostitutes. I really don't think we need those types of references in our pop music.

Doug- that’s great Mickey that’s just great.

Mickey- please, iittts Michael ha-ha, that’s my given name.

Doug- they neutered Mickey!

Jerry- at least he's not breakin' stuff anymore!

Qt- plus these muffins rock!

Doug- scrumptious

Crazy Rick- welcome back to the morning whack attacks at 109.7 the bomb diggity! This is crazy Rick with my kimusomi, bad boy bill!

bill- hey, we're down here at the lazy lounge on 3rd where tonight 2gether will perform an unplugged set to raise money for the human Ginom project.

Rick- we've got 2gether bad boy Mickey Parke in the studio with us this morning. How you doing Mick?

Mickey- its Michael and I’m teriff thanks

Bill- MTV is doing some kind of sad tire on you guys did you have a cow when

Rick- yea, that guy who's supposed to be Doug wow! Is the real Doug that?

Bill- yea is he on some kind of all crisco diet?

Mickey- hey Doug Linus is a great guy a great guy, clearly, more of a novelty then a singer however.

Bill- tell us a little about qt, does qt stand for totally queer(?) But backwards?

Mickey- far being for me to say anything negative about him, I mean he's a great talent, mmm somewhat childish, and a professional whiner, plus he reeks bad.

Rick- this is priceless, what about Chad!

Mickey- lets face it; Chad isn't the brightest candle on the birthday cake!

Chad- confused, what?

Mickey- and jerry, my goodness what a dancer, what a dancer! As for personality, lets just say he doesn't have one.

Bill- oohh, ok!

Mickey- hey fellas! What's the good word?

Doug- you passive aggressive basterd!

Qt- you've changed dude, you used to beat me up but, you've never hurt me till now.

Mickey-l ook, I’m just trying' to improve the band!

Jerry- but its destroying us!

Mickey- everybody just needs to take a chill pill and call me in the morning (walks away)

Jerry- maybe we should cancel the gig

Doug- cancel it, don't cancel it, it doesn't make any difference, Mickey's gone.

Marvin- just another victim of too much change too quick. I should have seen it coming.

Qt- we want Mickey back!

Marvin- I can tell you how to get him back, if your prepared to do what it takes.

Jerry- we'll do whatever it takes!

Chad- yea! And maybe we can get that Michael guy to help!

Mickey- hi Erin

Erin-hey what are you doing here?

Mickey- returning city slickers 2, have you ever seen it? 3 thumbs way up! your feeling sorta down aren't yah?

Erin- 3 thumbs way down, courtesy of my stupid boy friend.

Mickey- well then this treat is on me

Erin- my favorite!

Mickey- I know

Erin- really how?

Mickey- well when the gang goes out to get ice cream you always get chocolate, and for breakfast you always have rice crispies, so Tada, nestles crunch.

Erin- jerry never notices that kind of stuff. My favorite candy bar, my favorite movie.

Mickey- your favorite movie? That's easy its Jerry Maguire!

Erin- no way!

Mickey- you’re quoting it all the time, you complete me, and show me all that money.

Erin- I have seen that movie a gazillion times!

Mickey- I’ve never seen it once.

Erin- really? Well, we should rent it sometime.

Mickey- (excited and happy) absolutely fontabulous!

Jerry- huh! Come on!

Doug- come on, hit me! Ha lets see!

Mickey- fellas, yah mind keeping it down? I’m reading about a young boy who gives a high five to an angel.

Jerry- it’s just this ball it is so noisy!

Chad- I know why don't we use Mickey's hip-hop collection instead!

Mickey- my what!

Qt- I got all his CD’s right here!

Jerry- you don’t mind mind do you Michael?

Mickey- oh, no not at all.

Chad- after all, hip-hop was stolen from the white man.

Doug- yea its really just a rip off on country western!

Mickey- pardon me but say what?

Doug- well all the sampling millergrammer's do it, they were the ultimate posers!

Jerry- like Michael here, a wannabe black dude, who's really just a white dude with a stick shoved up his ass!

Mickey- say it again bitch!

Jerry- come on Mickey hit me! Hit me hit hit me ...(at the same time the other four say: hit him hit him hit him hit him...)

Mickey- good day gentlemen, oh and jerry, maybe you should spend less time

Jerry- what does that mean?

Mickey- her favorite candy bar...its Nestle’s crunch.

Mickey- I’m the type of guy, a girl takes home to mom, ha- ha with pleaded khaki pants, cologne that’s the bomb (at the unplugged show) shake her dad's hand, look him in the eye, and tell him straight up, I’m just a regular guy. (staring at Erin) I’m a regular guy who stays out of trouble, a regular guy, says mam on the double. I'm a regular guy just like Dawson's creek, a regular guy just don’t call me a geek, a geeeeekk I’m a regular guy (see’s jerry walk in) I watch jay leno, 7th heaven too. And I ask sometimes what would Jesus do (getting mad) I’m bud's with my mom, and I hang out with my dad! And I play everything safe so I’ll never be sad! (really really mad, because jerry is taking out tons of crunch bars for Erin) damnit! sometimes I wanna! Smash things uuppp!!! And whack up! And whack uupp!! And have to pee in a cup!! Dammmnn! Ugh! Go to hell la all ya'll suck! (walks off the stage)

Marvin- one day at a time my man, one day at a time!

Mickey- get outta my face! Sell out! Where my boys at ha- ha!

Qt- Mickey! Awesome show man!

Mickey- that's right dawg Mickey Parke and qt up in here!

Doug- you were a total jerk, I love it!

Mickey- you better love it whitey!

Chad- oh man do we have a story for you, there was this guy named Michael!

Doug- come on! We're on next!

Erin- Mickey!

Mickey- what?

Erin- I just wanted to say great show and also thank you for listening to me (handing him a crunch bar and gives him a hug) your the best, well…second

Mickey- I ain’t watching no Cuba Gooding play no Tom Cruise butler; they’re both posers!

Erin- Mickey, you'll never change!

Mickey- you never no!

Erin- well, thanks again (walks away)

Mickey- mmmmmmmm

All- 2222222ggeeetthheeerrr!!!