Story so far

Written by Kristian Vance 1st August 2003.

Ok well 2TM formed in the summer of 2000 with Jon Lupton Nigel Sharp and myself Kristian Vance. We had played in bands together before and basically thought why not waste some more time starting a new band and making some crappy little songs that no one will give a shit about but maybe us………maybe. So we did we jammed and then employed Nathan Mehan on second guitar cause he is a nice guy and bald, and we thought chicks might like the bald bit and we might finally get some foof! Alas it didn’t work. We recorded our first demo titled “From Here On In” with a champion karate master shaolin monk scotch drinking hippie looking cool guy. Then we sold some of them to some poor unsuspecting victims! we used such promotion and bullying techniques like “If you don’t buy this cd little kid I’ll tell your mum that you buy heroin from me” then we sold some more. We then played our first gig at a PCYC jam factory in front of 210 people sometime in early 2001. Nathan went overseas and was molested by Russian camels crossed with circus midgets, so we had a break and masturbated a lot.

Nathan came back with a limp, we recorded our second demo titled “It could have been good but”, we played more shows, sold more cd’s to victims bullied by our torment and continued frequent masturbating.

We went in a band comp, we won it, we then recorded at troy horse studio’s as our prize thou not before hiring a van getting very drunk and very lost with a lot of abuse to our manager Mark Drew for taking a 5 hour scenic route to Sydney, it’s a 2 hour trip, but at least I got to see crack whore junkies and poo!

Nathan then left the band we played as a 3 piece and still at this time had gotten no foof, possum, flesh croissant or anywhere as a band.

 In 2002 we played some more shows and stuff

 A guy called Benny from E records liked us. We then recorded our first Ep titled “Talk To Me”, we had a song included on the E records compilation “punctured” featuring bands like “One Dollar Short”, “Second Best”, “Chin Chen” and lots more that are better than us. Oh we sold some cd’s and Nigel got spanked for wanting to be a librarian!

In 2003 Mark Drew

 Our manager then left the band to become a librarian. We enlisted Luke Stanley on second Guitar, he played his first show at The galli poli Legions club, he shat himself, then Jon wiped his bum, the next night we played the late “Punktured” release show, we got drunk, I shat myself, no one wiped my bum.

 Nigel then left the band to retire and try his luck getting his bum spanked up north. Bops from band “No Direction” joined us; he snores loud but doesn’t feel the need to be spanked so we like him. He played his first show with us at Jasons21^st party, it was really good, people danced and liked us, but still we didn’t get any foof, possum or flesh croissants!

We are now heading back into the studio soon to record our 2^nd cd Ep

To be continued……………………………

KEY POINTS

• 2TM don’t get any Foof, Possum, or flesh croissants. (only toscy does)
• Some of 2TM liked to be spanked and poo their pants a lot
• 2TM don’t write very good songs and are drug pushers
• Not even 2TM likes 2TM
• Jon hates stuff, Kris hates Jon, Luke eats poo, bops sleeps, and toscy does Website and is in mafia!