TITLE: A Face only a Best Friend Could Know
AUTHOR: Kasey
RATING: PG-13L
SUMMARY: A trip into the minds of the injured.
SPOILERS: In the Shadow of Two Gunmen
DISCLAIMERS: I don’t own them, Aaron Sorkin does.  Don’t sue please.  I’m not making any money from this, so all you’d get is my birthday money which is about enough to buy gas to get to school for a month.  So what good would it do ya? That much is lawyer fees for about ten minutes.
THANKS: To Lieutenant, the best beta and friend a girl could ask for.

Even as they ask me rapid-fire questions - questions about my health, questions I know I can’t answer – and send words flying around – of which, I’m convinced that all the doctors just yell all that stuff to stun you so they don’t use as much actual anesthetic; Abby doesn’t tend to agree with that – I’m making a mental list of people I **WILL** see before I go under anesthesia.  I don’t care what it takes, how many executive orders I have to enact, I WILL see Zoey and I WILL see Leo.

They’ll put me under before Abby gets here, I know they will.  But she always stays at least a little calm with these sorts of things.

But I have to see Zoey for myself to know she’s okay.

And I know the person who’s scared more shitless than anyone else.  ‘Cause he’s the only one who’s known true enemy fire before tonight.

There’s Zo, right on cue, and she looks pretty scared.  As soon as she leaves, she’ll be in Charlie’s arms.  Just as well tonight.  It’ll calm them both.

And Leo’s got that dangerous look about him, the one only Mal, Jenny, and I can recognize.  The one he used to wear before going on his two-day binges.  The one he has that now says “I’m about this close to snapping but I’m pretending I’m fine for the people around me.”

Come to think of it, that look hasn’t changed much over the years.

And so I mention all the things I know he knows he needs to know, and we speak entirely in code.  My orders will give him something to do, something to keep him busy.  Something so he’s not just sitting and dwelling, ‘cause we all know that’s the worst possible thing for him in the face of any tragedy.  Well, it’s the worst for any of us, but the rest of us don’t have the history he does. 

I think Margaret recognizes the look, too.  Either that or she just knows when to worry about certain things.

But at the end I kiss his cheek and tell him it’s okay. Hardly masculine.

But when he wears that face, it’s almost a go-ahead to be comforting.  When he wears that face, he needs family and reassurance, and since Mal’s not here yet and Jenny won’t show up because she’s trying to convince herself she doesn’t give a rat’s ass about him even though she does, I’m family.  I’m practically his brother anyway.

Then he leaves, and I’m plunged into darkness.

*****

I have to get out of here.

If I don’t get to New Hampshire, and I mean pronto…

Something’s wrong with the Governor.  I can tell.  Sam’s got that look about him…His poker face is a hell of a lot better than mine.  But I’ve known him since he was a kid fresh outta high school and working on the Hill, and I’m saying there’s a definite face.  Impossible to describe, but easy for me to recognize.

Something’s wrong wit the Governor.  Or someone else important.  Leo? Or is it Lisa? Something is very wrong with someone.

Glad I’ve narrowed that down.

Feel free to chat amongst yourselves while I worry about all the possibilities.

It’s too early for Dad to die…that wasn’t until we won the Illinois Primary.  So it has to be…I’m drawing a blank…

Wait.  What **IS** Sam doing here?  He’s supposed to still be in New York at…That law firm he works at…I haven’t gone to see him yet, let alone to save him from screwing over the environment and the little guy all in one clean sweep.  He wasn’t at the meeting with Hoynes…Leo showed up at the end of it, but Sam…He never met Hoynes until the Convention, so what the hell is he doing here?

And why is he wearing that face of worry and grief and panic and fear all rolled into one?

Maybe more is wrong than I think.

Swear to God, if I don’t get outta this meeting, people are gonna die…