TITLE: Five Good Reasons AUTHOR: Kasey POST-EP: 2.12 "The Drop-In" SUMMARY: Leo and Jed discuss Lord John Marbury, turkeys, and comic strips. RATING: PG.  I think I have maybe two "bad words" in there. DISCLAIMERS: I do not own them, they belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells, Tommy Schlamme, et al.  Deal with it. THANKS: Dis and the Lieutenant, you guys are awesome, and *when* I win an Emmy or an Academy Award or a Golden Globe or something equally prestigious, you two will DEFINITELY be first on my list of people to thank! "Gimme a good reason." "Because we can't." "I don't care if we can't, gimme a better reason." "A better why we can't draft Lord John Marbury of Great Britain into the United States Military?" "Yes, sir." "He's not an American citizen." "So?" "So we can't." Leo sighed.  "And we can't find a loophole like we usually do?" "No, and y'know what you should do?" "Blame the constitution?" "Damn straight." "Queen Elizabeth couldn't have picked someone else? *Anyone* else?" "She said he was very eager and enthusiastic." "And why couldn't you have rejected his credentials?" "For what reason?" "The fact that he's a drunken lunatic doesn't count?" "No." "Sir, it counts that I'm a *former* drunken lunatic, it doesn't count that he still *is*?" "No.  Know why?" "Because he's not an American citizen?" "Because he's not an American citizen." "I wanna see the turkey's birth certificate. "What?" "The turkey you drafted at Thanksgiving?" "You heard about that?" "Are you kidding?  CJ was ecstatic for a week." "Oh.  Right." "And we can't draft Marbury?" "No." "There's a special right for birds?" "Leo, what's gotten into you?" "I'm sorry, sir?" "You've complained for as long as I can remember that the president *has* that right." "That's right, sir.  Y'know why?" "Because of 'Nam." "Yes, sir.  But y'know why this is different?" "Because he said the thing about -" "About how that philosophy wasn't unusual from someone who'd fought in a war." "Listen -" "What gives him the right?" "Leo." "No, I mean it.  What the hell gives him the right?  Where does he get off that he can say that?" "It's not -" "He stands there and makes this judgement when it wasn't my choice or anything.  Y'know, I bet if I hadn't fought, he would've called me a hypocrite for endorsing the shield when I'd never served in uniform, just watched from the safety of my office." "Yeah, but -" "Not to mention, he doesn't even know my name, but he knows I fought in 'Nam?  He calls me Gerald the Butler but he can take any swings at me he wants?" "Because he's a drunken lunatic, Leo." He fell silent a moment.  "So." "So what?" "Give me *one good reason* why we can't -...why YOU can't draft him." "I can do better than that, I can give you *five* good reasons." "Go ahead, sir." The president held up his hand.  "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," he counted as he curled down each finger to form a fist.  "There ya go." "You haven't given me any reasons yet, sir, other than proving you can count to five." "It's a joke." "From what, sir?" "Peanuts.  See, Linus would say to his older sister, Lucy, 'give me a good reason', and she would reply -" "Oh, Good Grief." "No, that was only a Charlie Brown line."