A Comparitive Guide to World Religions:

TAOISM: Shit happens

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius says "Shit Happens"

BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it really isn't shit.

ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening.

HINDIUSM: This shit happened before.

MORMON: This shit is going to happen again.

ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

CALVINISM: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.

PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to somebody else.

JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us.

STOICISM: This shit is good for me.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is only in your mind.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.

HEDONISM: There isn't anything like a good shit happening.

MOONIES: Only happy shit happens.

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens rama rama.

RASTAFARIANISM: Lets smoke this shit.

EXISTENTIALISM: What is shit anyway?

ATHEISM: No shit.