Elysian Fields
Part 4
From: Amy Schatz <risamy@epix.net Newsgroups:
alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: ELYSIAN FIELDS - 4/7
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 96 11:08:45 PDT
See the non-existent disclaimer and the existent story notes in
part one...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elysian Fields - 4/7 by Amy Schatz
<<< Unionville, Virginia
October 20, 2000
Scully's apartment
1:20 pm
Mulder looked out Scully's living room window, feeling again the
unbearable pain he had felt as he had watched Scully walk down
that hallway. He remembered how straight her posture had been,
but he had known that she was only standing up out of sheer will.
"Scully, I'd rather not talk about...her," he said
softly. Scully knew that this was painful for him, but she had to
know what had really happened that night. Over the years, she had
thought about it thousands of times, but she still didn't know
what had really happened.
"Mulder, please. I need to know. Did you bring her back to
your room?" Mulder swallowed dryly, and got up to stand next
to her window. He let his overcoat on the couch, and Scully found
herself admiring his long, lean form.
"Yes, I did. But only because she said she had something to
tell me about the case. When we got into the room, she..."
He turned to face her, wanting Scully to know the truth, even
though it wouldn't make a difference anymore. If she knew, it
would make him feel a little better. "She came on to me,
Scully. I swear it. I wasn't interested in her at all. I was
trying to get her to leave so I could...so I could come to you.
Since then, she's tried one more time, but I threw her out, and I
think she finally got the idea."
Scully nodded, taking it all in. During these past three years
without him, she had decided that she had probably been wrong
about what had happened that night, but that image still hurt her
deeply. She knew she had overreacted that night, but so many
things had been going on, that she hadn't been able to handle it.
And now she hated herself for causing him so much pain, and for
keeping them apart. He laughed hollowly, and it sounded like wind
across a barren plain. It made Scully's ears hurt.
"I know you don't believe me, but I had to try one last
time." Scully's soul cried out at his usage of `one last
time', but she pushed her feelings away.
"I do believe you Mulder. I do." Mulder turned to look
at her, and their eyes locked, and for a few moments, Scully felt
that old connection - that bond between them. She felt it as if
it were years earlier. The electricity was still there, and it
still made her skin tingle.
"You believe me?" he asked, incredulously. "You
really do?" She nodded.
"Yes. I've come to realize that I jumped to conclusions that
night, but I was under a lot of stress." Mulder took his
seat again, afraid to think too far ahead. But he was beginning
to wonder why Scully had actually called him here. It had to be
for more than to ask about Pamela Reese. It had to be something
big for her to make such a production of it.
"What kind of stress, Scully? What do you mean?" She
sighed, and then got out of her chair, pacing slowly. Mulder
watched her, not wanting to push her. Finally, she stopped in
front of him, a serious expression on her face.
"I have to tell you something, Mulder. It's something
important - something that affects us both." Mulder's mind
spun away from him, conjuring up hundreds of things that she
might be talking about, and he barely heard her next words.
"My life has changed a great deal in the last three
years." Mulder closed his eyes. It was coming. She was going
to tell him that she was either married or engaged, and that she
just wanted him to know that she was finally happy. He waited for
her to deliver the final blow. She looked at him, and immediately
recognized his look of sorrow and confusion. "I'll explain
everything, Mulder. I promise." He nodded, and she fell
silent as she searched through her memories, trying to organize
them into some order.
<<< Falls Church, Virginia
March 6, 1997
Home of Margaret Scully
Scully sat in her car, outside of her mother's house, as tears
fell down her cheeks. Every year until now, this day had been a
happy one for her. It was the day that she had first met Mulder
so many years ago. They had always done something special
together, and they had laughed, and spent the day and part of the
evening together. The year before, they had spent the evening
together, as always, but the electricity between them had been
exceptionally strong that night, and they had almost crossed the
line. Almost. But in the end, Mulder had gone home, and Scully
had gone to bed, neither knowing what would start between them
that June.
A sob broke from her, as her mind replayed nights when they would
lay in bed together, holding each other close, and Mulder would
whisper how much he loved her, and they would talk about their
future. She didn't bother to wipe the tears away, they would only
return a moment later. She cried all the time now, and it
bothered her. She had always thought herself stronger than this,
but Mulder had taken a piece of her soul over the years, and his
absence felt like someone had ripped her heart from her.
A few minutes later, Scully had calmed down enough to get out of
the car and walk to her mother's door. She rang the bell, and
waited. The door was opened moments later, and Margaret gasped
when she saw her daughter standing there, her eyes red and puffy,
the tracks of tears still visible on her cheeks.
"Dana! My God, what's happened?" she cried, rushing
forward to pull Scully inside, and into an embrace. The minute
Scully felt her mother's arms around her, she broke down again,
sobbing terribly.
"Oh, Mom, it's over...it's all over..."
****
An hour later, Scully had calmed down enough so that her mother
could understand what she was saying. Apparently, Dana was no
longer working with Mulder - she had transferred almost a month
ago, and hadn't seen him since. And, it was also apparent that
she and Mulder had become more than just friends, but something
had happened, and they were no longer together. Margaret could
see that it was tearing her daughter apart. Scully sniffled, and
said,
"I miss him so much, Mom." Margaret handed her a mug of
tea, and said,
"Then go to him, Dana. Try and work this out." But Dana
wasn't listening. She was staring at the mug, her brow knit in
thought.
"Is this decaffeinated, Mom?" Margaret shrugged.
"I don't know, dear, why?" Scully put the mug down, and
closed her eyes.
"Because I shouldn't be drinking a lot of caffeine right
now." Her mother nodded.
"Of course not, dear. You're too upset as it is. Yes, you're
right..." Margaret trailed off as she saw fresh tears
slipping from her daughter's eyes. "Dana, what?" Dana
took a deep, shuddering breath, and opened her eyes, looking
straight at her mother.
"That's not why. Mom, about a month ago, I found something
out." Margaret's eyebrows raised, asking her daughter to
continue, but somewhere, somehow, she already knew what Dana was
going to say.
"Mom, I'm...I'm pregnant..." Margaret's eyes widened.
"Oh, Dana..." Scully nodded, and got up from the plush
armchair she had been sitting in.
"It's true, Mom, and I don't know what to do."
"Does Fox know?" Dana spun to face her mother.
"Of course not! And he's not going to know, ever."
Margaret stood up as well, and walked closer to Scully.
"Dana, you have to tell him. He has a right to know that
you're carrying his child!" But Scully shook her head, her
will an impenetrable wall.
"No, Mom. I won't burden him with this. You don't know him
like I do, Mom. He's not the family type. He wouldn't be happy
about this." Margaret sighed.
"Oh, Dana, you couldn't be more wrong! This news would make
him so happy! Please tell him." Dana's eyes fell.
"I can't. He's hurt me so much. When I walked in that hotel
room, and I saw them...together, it was like my heart died in
front of me. I knew he wouldn't stay with me for long, and I
never expected or hoped for that. But I never thought he could be
so cruel or uncaring." She looked up at her mother, and
Margaret gasped at what she saw, or rather, didn't see, in her
daughter's eyes. There was no emotion there. Nothing. It was all
gone, and all that was left was a cold, blue expanse of pain. It
was as if Dana had shut her feelings off, and locked them away,
never intending on using them again.
"Dana, are you sure it was what it looked like? What did Fox
say?" Her face twisted in pain as she remembered that night.
"He said that Agent Reese had come on to *him*. But that's
not how it looked. I know it was what it looked like, Mom. Agent
Reese is the type of woman that Mulder is attracted to. It was a
miracle, really, that he was ever attracted to me. I knew he
would get tired of me eventually, but I just kept hoping that he
would stay for one more day. And the next day, I'd decide that if
he just stayed for *one more day*, I could let him go. I just
loved him so much, Mom. I knew I wasn't good enough for him, but
that didn't stop me from loving him, from loving him still."
Margaret's eyes hardened.
"You stop right there, Dana. Not good enough? Where did you
ever get that idea? Certainly not from Fox. He loved you more
than his own life, and I'll bet he still does. I saw it in his
eyes when you were gone, and even more so, when you were in the
hospital. He sat with you night and day. He wouldn't eat or
sleep. Even back then he was devoted to you totally." Scully
was shocked. She had never really known how Mulder had behaved
while she was in the coma. He wouldn't talk about it, and neither
would her mother. She had never dreamed that he had done what her
mother now said he did.
"Really, Mom? I never knew." Margaret sighed in
exasperation.
"Don't you two ever talk to each other?" Scully grinned
very faintly.
"We usually didn't need to." But then the slight grin
faded into a grim line. "Now we'll never talk again."
"It doesn't have to be that way, Dana. All you have to do is
go to him. Tell him how you feel, and tell him about the
baby." Scully looked as though she were considering it, but
then her eyes lost all feeling again, as she remembered the sight
of Mulder in another woman's arms.
"I can't do that. He gave up his rights when he brought that
woman back to his room. And even if he did have rights, he
wouldn't want this baby. He wouldn't want such a
responsibility."
"Dana, maybe the best thing would be *not* to have this
baby," said Margaret, never thinking she could have
suggested such a thing. Dana looked at her mother in complete and
total shock. Angry words welled up in her throat, but she
swallowed them.
"No, Mom. I *want* this baby. It's all I have left of him.
We were in love when this baby was created, and I want it to know
that, and to be loved." Margaret nodded gave up trying to
convince her to tell Fox for the time being, knowing that if she
pushed any harder, she might drive her daughter away.
"All right, Dana. It's your decision. How far along are you,
honey?"
"About five weeks, they tell me."
"I'm glad you've been to a doctor. Have they explained
everything to you - what you can eat, and things like that?"
Scully rolled her eyes.
"Mom, have you forgotten that *I'm* a doctor? I know what to
do and what not to do."
"Of course, dear, you know everything." Scully shot her
mother a look, but there was no feeling behind it.
"I'm going to have to do this on my own, Mom. I'll do it. I
don't need his help."
****
Unionville, Virginia
June 11, 1997
Scully's apartment
The hot summer day was finally ending, and long shadows fell
across the living room of Scully's new apartment, where she sat
on her couch. They weren't black, but that blue-violet color of
summer shadows. Off in the distance, she could hear the katydids
singing to one another, and she could hear the soft summer breeze
teasing the wind chimes outside her kitchen window. After
transferring from the X-Files, she had gone back to Quantico,
gone back to teaching, and today she had left her old apartment
that she had lived in for years, and moved out of D.C. Not far,
but this place was closer to Quantico.
Surprisingly, teaching again had given her a sense of purpose
that she hadn't felt since leaving Mulder. Every day she would
walk into her classroom, and look into the faces of fresh, young
FBI agents-in-training, and she would enjoy knowing the fact that
she was helping to mold them. But even so, she missed the X-Files
and Mulder more than she could have ever admitted. There was a
constant ache where they had been - a constant throbbing that
begged her to go back, even though she knew she couldn't. And so,
some days were better than others. Sometimes a whole day would go
by without her thinking of that horrible night when Mulder had
ripped her heart from her. But other days, she would barely be
able to function from the pain and the loss.
And it was those days that that hole inside her begged to be
filled, and she would have to remind herself that she was strong,
and that she had to do this alone. He wouldn't want a child - he
wanted to be on his own with no ties and no responsibilities. He
wanted to be free, she knew that now. So, she had decided to give
him his freedom. Now, as she sat alone, she looked down at her
belly, which seemed to be growing right before her eyes. Placing
her hands, palm down, on her stomach, she stroked it gently.
"At least *you're* sleeping," she said to the un-born
child.
The day had been a long one. Her mother had helped her move into
this new apartment, and had then insisted on cooking dinner for
Scully. Now everything was unpacked, the phone, heat, and water
turned on, and Scully was left alone again. And now she didn't
even have work anymore. She had kept working at Quantico until
she began to show, and then she had asked for a six month
sabbatical. It had been granted without question - her superiors
had been pressuring her to take some time off for years now.
They had told her that her job would be waiting for her when she
returned. No one knew the real reason for her leave of absence,
and that was exactly how she wanted it. She wouldn't ruin her
reputation, or Mulder's for that matter. She intended for no one
at work to know about her baby.
"I'll try to be a good mommy," she said softly,
imagining the child sleeping inside her. "I'll always take
care of you, and I'll tell you about your parents." She was
silent for a few moments, as she gathered her courage, and then
she said, "Would you like to hear more about your
daddy?" At this question, she felt movement inside her, and
a large smile spread across her features. Only during these quiet
moments with her baby did the joy and love return to her eyes. At
all other times, her eyes were lifeless, but when she talked to
her child, she couldn't help but let the love come through.
After all, this was Fox Mulder's child, and this baby was all she
would ever have of him. How could she not love it? She loved its
father. But more than that, she loved the baby simply because it
was something that was a part of her and Mulder.
"Okay," she said, grinning, "your daddy it is.
Let's see... He's very tall, and he has dark brown hair, and the
most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, but I've told you this
before, haven't I?" she asked, looking down at her stomach.
The baby kicked her in affirmation. She chuckled. "Well,
he's very smart. Did you know that most everyone in the Bureau
thinks he's a genius? Oh, they'd never admit it, but it's the
truth. He's the most intelligent person I've ever met. I bet
you'll be smart, too. He went to school in England, and he was in
the top of his class. I don't remember the exact title of his
thesis, but-" The baby kicked her hard.
"Ouch! Okay, okay, I went off on a tangent, I know. You
could probably care less about his senior thesis. I'm sure he'd
love you...if he ever let himself," she said, feeling her
throat close up. "But even if he doesn't, I want you to love
him, because he's a good man, and you are lucky to have him as a
father." The baby was quiet, as if thinking this over.
"You have to love him. I do, even after all he's done, so it
should be easy for you. When you're born, I'll show you pictures
of him, and I know you'll fall in love with him at first sight.
Just like..." she forced her voice to remain steady.
"...Just like I did..." The baby brushed against her
softly, as if saying that it would love its father, and that the
subject was closed. Dana smiled as a single tear fell from her
eyes.
****
Unionville, Virginia
August 30, 1997
Scully's apartment
Scully was now seven months pregnant, and her stomach really got
in the way. She couldn't reach things in the back of her
cupboards because she couldn't get close enough. Some days it
really got on her nerves, and other days it made her so happy she
cried, because she knew that each day that passed brought her
that much closer to holding their child. Scully tried to keep
busy during these long months without work, but it was hard. She
had everything where it belonged, she had enough baby supplies to
last for a lifetime, she had cultivated the garden as best she
could, and she had read all the books she had wanted to. But now
she was getting terribly restless, and the thought of three more
months of not working was driving her crazy.
So, she had decided to take up some of her time decorating the
baby's room, and thinking of an appropriate name. She never even
considered any boy's names, because she knew that she was going
to have a girl. Scully didn't know how she knew, or why, she just
knew that she did. On this day, she was sitting at her desk,
trying out different names, when a knock came to her door.
Putting her pen down, she wondered who it could possibly be. Her
mother was away visiting one of Scully's brothers. She glanced
quickly at her gun, which was lying on an end table, and then
swung the door open. The minute she saw who the person was, her
eyes widened in anger.
"What the hell are YOU doing here?" she asked, her
voice low and dangerous. Agent Pamela Reese flipped her hair
behind her shoulder and stood there, looking directly at Scully.
"I've come to talk to you." Scully smirked.
"Really? Well, this should be interesting." She stepped
aside and Reese walked inside. As she did, she noticed Scully's
obvious condition, and her eyebrows raised.
"Been busy, have we, Agent Scully?" she asked in a
sugary voice. Scully smiled wickedly.
"I wouldn't go there, Agent Reese."
Pamela knew *that* tone of voice, and she knew what it meant. She
also knew that she had come here to see how close Scully and
Mulder still were. She had heard rumors that Scully had left the
X-Files and Mulder and gone back to Quantico. So, Reese, having
decided to take another shot with Mulder, had to know what her
competition was. That was her motto: know your competition and
you can always win the game. She hadn't won Mulder in Boston
because she hadn't known the true nature of his relationship with
Scully. So, she had miscalculated and had lost. But this time,
this time, she didn't intend to lose so easily.
"I heard you left the X-Files...and Mulder," said
Pamela, her eyes shining. Scully's head jerked up, anger coloring
her cheeks.
"Just what do you mean by that, Reese?" But Reese kept
talking.
"You've obviously moved on," she said, gesturing to
Scully's stomach, "so I guess that Mulder's clear and
free." And then Scully knew what this visit was all about.
Reese was checking out the playing field, making sure that Scully
was really out of the picture. Scully thought about telling Reese
that she and Mulder were still together, but then she thought
better of it. Why bother? Reese was the kind of woman Mulder
wanted. Why not let him be happy? She took a deep breath.
"Yes, Reese, that's true, I have moved on," she said,
patting her stomach.
"And I don't really keep tabs on Mulder anymore, so..."
At this remark, Pamela smiled, and Scully could almost hear her
mind working.
"Well, then, I'll be going. I'm sure you have to have dinner
ready for your husband, and I wouldn't want to get you in
trouble," she said, practically sneering. Scully had been
holding her anger in check fairly well throughout this whole
encounter, but that last remark ripped her control in half. She
charged Reese, pushing her up against the door, and holding her
there. Reese looked down at the smaller woman, a startled
expression on her face. She had never thought Scully capable of
such strength or aggressiveness.
"Listen to me, you half-witted bitch!" Scully shouted.
"I don't *have* a husband, and I can have dinner ready
whenever I damn well feel like it! Now, get out of my house
before I knock you out!" With that, she pulled Reese
backwards, opened the door, and pushed her. Reese stumbled out,
and before she disappeared around the corner, Scully said,
"And one more thing. If you hurt Mulder in any way, I will
hurt you much, *much* worse. Remember that." Pamela said
nothing as she walked away. Scully closed the door, and sank onto
the couch. Touching her stomach, she said, "I hope your
daddy's careful."
****
Unionville, Virginia
October 19, 1997
Scully's apartment
11:16 pm
Scully was ripped from a peaceful sleep, something that was hard
to come by for her, by a searing pain that cut across her whole
abdomen. She sat up in bed, and gasped. Breathing deeply, she
glanced at the clock, and then waited. It could have been a false
contraction, but she didn't think so. She was already overdue.
Her due date had been October 13, and when her doctor had told
her that, she had smiled, tears shining in her eyes. That would
have been the ultimate gift - for their child to have the same
birthday as its father. But apparently, the little one had its
own ideas, and had decided to wait.
She could tell that her baby would be as independent as its
parents were. She wiped a hand across her sweaty forehead, and
was about to lie back down, when the pain returned, only worse.
She cried out, and fell back onto the bed, already panting. Then
she looked again at the clock. It read: 11:21 pm. Grimacing from
the discomfort, she reached for the phone. It rang five times
before a sleepy voice answered.
"Mom?" Margaret Scully mumbled a yes.
"Mom, I think it's time. Can you call ahead to the hospital?
I'll call a cab." Mrs. Scully was immediately awake.
"Are you sure, Dana?" Scully nodded and smiled.
"Yes. Pretty soon you'll be looking at your
grandchild."
"And you'll be holding Fox's daughter." Margaret also
knew that the baby would be a girl. There was silence as Scully
fought to regain control over her emotions. She finally said,
"Yes, I know, Mom. And we'll be happy. Now, can you call the
hospital?"
"Of course, dear. Just call that cab quickly. I wish I lived
closer so that I could take you myself."
"Mom, we discussed this. I can do this myself," said
Scully, sitting up again.
"I know, dear. But can I come to the hospital?" Scully
chuckled.
"Of course you can! Bye, Mom. See you soon."
Both women hung up, and as Scully dialed the number of the cab
company, she looked down at her stomach.
"I can't wait to meet you..."
<<<
===========================================================================
From: Amy Schatz <risamy@epix.net Newsgroups:
alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: ELYSIAN FIELDS - 5/7
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 96 11:18:32 PDT
See the non-existent disclaimer and the existent story notes in
part one...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~