Elysian Fields
Part 4
From: Amy Schatz <risamy@epix.net Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: ELYSIAN FIELDS - 4/7
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 96 11:08:45 PDT
See the non-existent disclaimer and the existent story notes in part one...

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Elysian Fields - 4/7 by Amy Schatz

<<< Unionville, Virginia
October 20, 2000
Scully's apartment
1:20 pm

Mulder looked out Scully's living room window, feeling again the unbearable pain he had felt as he had watched Scully walk down that hallway. He remembered how straight her posture had been, but he had known that she was only standing up out of sheer will.

"Scully, I'd rather not talk about...her," he said softly. Scully knew that this was painful for him, but she had to know what had really happened that night. Over the years, she had thought about it thousands of times, but she still didn't know what had really happened.

"Mulder, please. I need to know. Did you bring her back to your room?" Mulder swallowed dryly, and got up to stand next to her window. He let his overcoat on the couch, and Scully found herself admiring his long, lean form.

"Yes, I did. But only because she said she had something to tell me about the case. When we got into the room, she..." He turned to face her, wanting Scully to know the truth, even though it wouldn't make a difference anymore. If she knew, it would make him feel a little better. "She came on to me, Scully. I swear it. I wasn't interested in her at all. I was trying to get her to leave so I could...so I could come to you. Since then, she's tried one more time, but I threw her out, and I think she finally got the idea."

Scully nodded, taking it all in. During these past three years without him, she had decided that she had probably been wrong about what had happened that night, but that image still hurt her deeply. She knew she had overreacted that night, but so many things had been going on, that she hadn't been able to handle it. And now she hated herself for causing him so much pain, and for keeping them apart. He laughed hollowly, and it sounded like wind across a barren plain. It made Scully's ears hurt.

"I know you don't believe me, but I had to try one last time." Scully's soul cried out at his usage of `one last time', but she pushed her feelings away.

"I do believe you Mulder. I do." Mulder turned to look at her, and their eyes locked, and for a few moments, Scully felt that old connection - that bond between them. She felt it as if it were years earlier. The electricity was still there, and it still made her skin tingle.

"You believe me?" he asked, incredulously. "You really do?" She nodded.

"Yes. I've come to realize that I jumped to conclusions that night, but I was under a lot of stress." Mulder took his seat again, afraid to think too far ahead. But he was beginning to wonder why Scully had actually called him here. It had to be for more than to ask about Pamela Reese. It had to be something big for her to make such a production of it.

"What kind of stress, Scully? What do you mean?" She sighed, and then got out of her chair, pacing slowly. Mulder watched her, not wanting to push her. Finally, she stopped in front of him, a serious expression on her face.

"I have to tell you something, Mulder. It's something important - something that affects us both." Mulder's mind spun away from him, conjuring up hundreds of things that she might be talking about, and he barely heard her next words. "My life has changed a great deal in the last three years." Mulder closed his eyes. It was coming. She was going to tell him that she was either married or engaged, and that she just wanted him to know that she was finally happy. He waited for her to deliver the final blow. She looked at him, and immediately recognized his look of sorrow and confusion. "I'll explain everything, Mulder. I promise." He nodded, and she fell silent as she searched through her memories, trying to organize them into some order.

<<< Falls Church, Virginia
March 6, 1997
Home of Margaret Scully

Scully sat in her car, outside of her mother's house, as tears fell down her cheeks. Every year until now, this day had been a happy one for her. It was the day that she had first met Mulder so many years ago. They had always done something special together, and they had laughed, and spent the day and part of the evening together. The year before, they had spent the evening together, as always, but the electricity between them had been exceptionally strong that night, and they had almost crossed the line. Almost. But in the end, Mulder had gone home, and Scully had gone to bed, neither knowing what would start between them that June.

A sob broke from her, as her mind replayed nights when they would lay in bed together, holding each other close, and Mulder would whisper how much he loved her, and they would talk about their future. She didn't bother to wipe the tears away, they would only return a moment later. She cried all the time now, and it bothered her. She had always thought herself stronger than this, but Mulder had taken a piece of her soul over the years, and his absence felt like someone had ripped her heart from her.

A few minutes later, Scully had calmed down enough to get out of the car and walk to her mother's door. She rang the bell, and waited. The door was opened moments later, and Margaret gasped when she saw her daughter standing there, her eyes red and puffy, the tracks of tears still visible on her cheeks.

"Dana! My God, what's happened?" she cried, rushing forward to pull Scully inside, and into an embrace. The minute Scully felt her mother's arms around her, she broke down again, sobbing terribly.

"Oh, Mom, it's over...it's all over..."

****

An hour later, Scully had calmed down enough so that her mother could understand what she was saying. Apparently, Dana was no longer working with Mulder - she had transferred almost a month ago, and hadn't seen him since. And, it was also apparent that she and Mulder had become more than just friends, but something had happened, and they were no longer together. Margaret could see that it was tearing her daughter apart. Scully sniffled, and said,

"I miss him so much, Mom." Margaret handed her a mug of tea, and said,

"Then go to him, Dana. Try and work this out." But Dana wasn't listening. She was staring at the mug, her brow knit in thought.

"Is this decaffeinated, Mom?" Margaret shrugged.

"I don't know, dear, why?" Scully put the mug down, and closed her eyes.

"Because I shouldn't be drinking a lot of caffeine right now." Her mother nodded.

"Of course not, dear. You're too upset as it is. Yes, you're right..." Margaret trailed off as she saw fresh tears slipping from her daughter's eyes. "Dana, what?" Dana took a deep, shuddering breath, and opened her eyes, looking straight at her mother.

"That's not why. Mom, about a month ago, I found something out." Margaret's eyebrows raised, asking her daughter to continue, but somewhere, somehow, she already knew what Dana was going to say.

"Mom, I'm...I'm pregnant..." Margaret's eyes widened. "Oh, Dana..." Scully nodded, and got up from the plush armchair she had been sitting in.

"It's true, Mom, and I don't know what to do."

"Does Fox know?" Dana spun to face her mother.

"Of course not! And he's not going to know, ever." Margaret stood up as well, and walked closer to Scully.

"Dana, you have to tell him. He has a right to know that you're carrying his child!" But Scully shook her head, her will an impenetrable wall.

"No, Mom. I won't burden him with this. You don't know him like I do, Mom. He's not the family type. He wouldn't be happy about this." Margaret sighed.

"Oh, Dana, you couldn't be more wrong! This news would make him so happy! Please tell him." Dana's eyes fell.

"I can't. He's hurt me so much. When I walked in that hotel room, and I saw them...together, it was like my heart died in front of me. I knew he wouldn't stay with me for long, and I never expected or hoped for that. But I never thought he could be so cruel or uncaring." She looked up at her mother, and Margaret gasped at what she saw, or rather, didn't see, in her daughter's eyes. There was no emotion there. Nothing. It was all gone, and all that was left was a cold, blue expanse of pain. It was as if Dana had shut her feelings off, and locked them away, never intending on using them again.

"Dana, are you sure it was what it looked like? What did Fox say?" Her face twisted in pain as she remembered that night.

"He said that Agent Reese had come on to *him*. But that's not how it looked. I know it was what it looked like, Mom. Agent Reese is the type of woman that Mulder is attracted to. It was a miracle, really, that he was ever attracted to me. I knew he would get tired of me eventually, but I just kept hoping that he would stay for one more day. And the next day, I'd decide that if he just stayed for *one more day*, I could let him go. I just loved him so much, Mom. I knew I wasn't good enough for him, but that didn't stop me from loving him, from loving him still." Margaret's eyes hardened.

"You stop right there, Dana. Not good enough? Where did you ever get that idea? Certainly not from Fox. He loved you more than his own life, and I'll bet he still does. I saw it in his eyes when you were gone, and even more so, when you were in the hospital. He sat with you night and day. He wouldn't eat or sleep. Even back then he was devoted to you totally." Scully was shocked. She had never really known how Mulder had behaved while she was in the coma. He wouldn't talk about it, and neither would her mother. She had never dreamed that he had done what her mother now said he did.

"Really, Mom? I never knew." Margaret sighed in exasperation.

"Don't you two ever talk to each other?" Scully grinned very faintly.

"We usually didn't need to." But then the slight grin faded into a grim line. "Now we'll never talk again."

"It doesn't have to be that way, Dana. All you have to do is go to him. Tell him how you feel, and tell him about the baby." Scully looked as though she were considering it, but then her eyes lost all feeling again, as she remembered the sight of Mulder in another woman's arms.

"I can't do that. He gave up his rights when he brought that woman back to his room. And even if he did have rights, he wouldn't want this baby. He wouldn't want such a responsibility."

"Dana, maybe the best thing would be *not* to have this baby," said Margaret, never thinking she could have suggested such a thing. Dana looked at her mother in complete and total shock. Angry words welled up in her throat, but she swallowed them.

"No, Mom. I *want* this baby. It's all I have left of him. We were in love when this baby was created, and I want it to know that, and to be loved." Margaret nodded gave up trying to convince her to tell Fox for the time being, knowing that if she pushed any harder, she might drive her daughter away.

"All right, Dana. It's your decision. How far along are you, honey?"

"About five weeks, they tell me."

"I'm glad you've been to a doctor. Have they explained everything to you - what you can eat, and things like that?" Scully rolled her eyes.

"Mom, have you forgotten that *I'm* a doctor? I know what to do and what not to do."

"Of course, dear, you know everything." Scully shot her mother a look, but there was no feeling behind it.

"I'm going to have to do this on my own, Mom. I'll do it. I don't need his help."

****

Unionville, Virginia
June 11, 1997
Scully's apartment

The hot summer day was finally ending, and long shadows fell across the living room of Scully's new apartment, where she sat on her couch. They weren't black, but that blue-violet color of summer shadows. Off in the distance, she could hear the katydids singing to one another, and she could hear the soft summer breeze teasing the wind chimes outside her kitchen window. After transferring from the X-Files, she had gone back to Quantico, gone back to teaching, and today she had left her old apartment that she had lived in for years, and moved out of D.C. Not far, but this place was closer to Quantico.

Surprisingly, teaching again had given her a sense of purpose that she hadn't felt since leaving Mulder. Every day she would walk into her classroom, and look into the faces of fresh, young FBI agents-in-training, and she would enjoy knowing the fact that she was helping to mold them. But even so, she missed the X-Files and Mulder more than she could have ever admitted. There was a constant ache where they had been - a constant throbbing that begged her to go back, even though she knew she couldn't. And so, some days were better than others. Sometimes a whole day would go by without her thinking of that horrible night when Mulder had ripped her heart from her. But other days, she would barely be able to function from the pain and the loss.

And it was those days that that hole inside her begged to be filled, and she would have to remind herself that she was strong, and that she had to do this alone. He wouldn't want a child - he wanted to be on his own with no ties and no responsibilities. He wanted to be free, she knew that now. So, she had decided to give him his freedom. Now, as she sat alone, she looked down at her belly, which seemed to be growing right before her eyes. Placing her hands, palm down, on her stomach, she stroked it gently.

"At least *you're* sleeping," she said to the un-born child.

The day had been a long one. Her mother had helped her move into this new apartment, and had then insisted on cooking dinner for Scully. Now everything was unpacked, the phone, heat, and water turned on, and Scully was left alone again. And now she didn't even have work anymore. She had kept working at Quantico until she began to show, and then she had asked for a six month sabbatical. It had been granted without question - her superiors had been pressuring her to take some time off for years now.

They had told her that her job would be waiting for her when she returned. No one knew the real reason for her leave of absence, and that was exactly how she wanted it. She wouldn't ruin her reputation, or Mulder's for that matter. She intended for no one at work to know about her baby.

"I'll try to be a good mommy," she said softly, imagining the child sleeping inside her. "I'll always take care of you, and I'll tell you about your parents." She was silent for a few moments, as she gathered her courage, and then she said, "Would you like to hear more about your daddy?" At this question, she felt movement inside her, and a large smile spread across her features. Only during these quiet moments with her baby did the joy and love return to her eyes. At all other times, her eyes were lifeless, but when she talked to her child, she couldn't help but let the love come through.

After all, this was Fox Mulder's child, and this baby was all she would ever have of him. How could she not love it? She loved its father. But more than that, she loved the baby simply because it was something that was a part of her and Mulder.

"Okay," she said, grinning, "your daddy it is. Let's see... He's very tall, and he has dark brown hair, and the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, but I've told you this before, haven't I?" she asked, looking down at her stomach. The baby kicked her in affirmation. She chuckled. "Well, he's very smart. Did you know that most everyone in the Bureau thinks he's a genius? Oh, they'd never admit it, but it's the truth. He's the most intelligent person I've ever met. I bet you'll be smart, too. He went to school in England, and he was in the top of his class. I don't remember the exact title of his thesis, but-" The baby kicked her hard.

"Ouch! Okay, okay, I went off on a tangent, I know. You could probably care less about his senior thesis. I'm sure he'd love you...if he ever let himself," she said, feeling her throat close up. "But even if he doesn't, I want you to love him, because he's a good man, and you are lucky to have him as a father." The baby was quiet, as if thinking this over. "You have to love him. I do, even after all he's done, so it should be easy for you. When you're born, I'll show you pictures of him, and I know you'll fall in love with him at first sight. Just like..." she forced her voice to remain steady. "...Just like I did..." The baby brushed against her softly, as if saying that it would love its father, and that the subject was closed. Dana smiled as a single tear fell from her eyes.

****

Unionville, Virginia
August 30, 1997
Scully's apartment

Scully was now seven months pregnant, and her stomach really got in the way. She couldn't reach things in the back of her cupboards because she couldn't get close enough. Some days it really got on her nerves, and other days it made her so happy she cried, because she knew that each day that passed brought her that much closer to holding their child. Scully tried to keep busy during these long months without work, but it was hard. She had everything where it belonged, she had enough baby supplies to last for a lifetime, she had cultivated the garden as best she could, and she had read all the books she had wanted to. But now she was getting terribly restless, and the thought of three more months of not working was driving her crazy.

So, she had decided to take up some of her time decorating the baby's room, and thinking of an appropriate name. She never even considered any boy's names, because she knew that she was going to have a girl. Scully didn't know how she knew, or why, she just knew that she did. On this day, she was sitting at her desk, trying out different names, when a knock came to her door. Putting her pen down, she wondered who it could possibly be. Her mother was away visiting one of Scully's brothers. She glanced quickly at her gun, which was lying on an end table, and then swung the door open. The minute she saw who the person was, her eyes widened in anger.

"What the hell are YOU doing here?" she asked, her voice low and dangerous. Agent Pamela Reese flipped her hair behind her shoulder and stood there, looking directly at Scully.

"I've come to talk to you." Scully smirked.

"Really? Well, this should be interesting." She stepped aside and Reese walked inside. As she did, she noticed Scully's obvious condition, and her eyebrows raised.

"Been busy, have we, Agent Scully?" she asked in a sugary voice. Scully smiled wickedly.

"I wouldn't go there, Agent Reese."

Pamela knew *that* tone of voice, and she knew what it meant. She also knew that she had come here to see how close Scully and Mulder still were. She had heard rumors that Scully had left the X-Files and Mulder and gone back to Quantico. So, Reese, having decided to take another shot with Mulder, had to know what her competition was. That was her motto: know your competition and you can always win the game. She hadn't won Mulder in Boston because she hadn't known the true nature of his relationship with Scully. So, she had miscalculated and had lost. But this time, this time, she didn't intend to lose so easily.

"I heard you left the X-Files...and Mulder," said Pamela, her eyes shining. Scully's head jerked up, anger coloring her cheeks.

"Just what do you mean by that, Reese?" But Reese kept talking.

"You've obviously moved on," she said, gesturing to Scully's stomach, "so I guess that Mulder's clear and free." And then Scully knew what this visit was all about. Reese was checking out the playing field, making sure that Scully was really out of the picture. Scully thought about telling Reese that she and Mulder were still together, but then she thought better of it. Why bother? Reese was the kind of woman Mulder wanted. Why not let him be happy? She took a deep breath.

"Yes, Reese, that's true, I have moved on," she said, patting her stomach.
"And I don't really keep tabs on Mulder anymore, so..." At this remark, Pamela smiled, and Scully could almost hear her mind working.

"Well, then, I'll be going. I'm sure you have to have dinner ready for your husband, and I wouldn't want to get you in trouble," she said, practically sneering. Scully had been holding her anger in check fairly well throughout this whole encounter, but that last remark ripped her control in half. She charged Reese, pushing her up against the door, and holding her there. Reese looked down at the smaller woman, a startled expression on her face. She had never thought Scully capable of such strength or aggressiveness.

"Listen to me, you half-witted bitch!" Scully shouted. "I don't *have* a husband, and I can have dinner ready whenever I damn well feel like it! Now, get out of my house before I knock you out!" With that, she pulled Reese backwards, opened the door, and pushed her. Reese stumbled out, and before she disappeared around the corner, Scully said,

"And one more thing. If you hurt Mulder in any way, I will hurt you much, *much* worse. Remember that." Pamela said nothing as she walked away. Scully closed the door, and sank onto the couch. Touching her stomach, she said, "I hope your daddy's careful."

****

Unionville, Virginia
October 19, 1997
Scully's apartment
11:16 pm

Scully was ripped from a peaceful sleep, something that was hard to come by for her, by a searing pain that cut across her whole abdomen. She sat up in bed, and gasped. Breathing deeply, she glanced at the clock, and then waited. It could have been a false contraction, but she didn't think so. She was already overdue. Her due date had been October 13, and when her doctor had told her that, she had smiled, tears shining in her eyes. That would have been the ultimate gift - for their child to have the same birthday as its father. But apparently, the little one had its own ideas, and had decided to wait.

She could tell that her baby would be as independent as its parents were. She wiped a hand across her sweaty forehead, and was about to lie back down, when the pain returned, only worse. She cried out, and fell back onto the bed, already panting. Then she looked again at the clock. It read: 11:21 pm. Grimacing from the discomfort, she reached for the phone. It rang five times before a sleepy voice answered.

"Mom?" Margaret Scully mumbled a yes.

"Mom, I think it's time. Can you call ahead to the hospital? I'll call a cab." Mrs. Scully was immediately awake.

"Are you sure, Dana?" Scully nodded and smiled.

"Yes. Pretty soon you'll be looking at your grandchild."

"And you'll be holding Fox's daughter." Margaret also knew that the baby would be a girl. There was silence as Scully fought to regain control over her emotions. She finally said,

"Yes, I know, Mom. And we'll be happy. Now, can you call the hospital?"

"Of course, dear. Just call that cab quickly. I wish I lived closer so that I could take you myself."

"Mom, we discussed this. I can do this myself," said Scully, sitting up again.

"I know, dear. But can I come to the hospital?" Scully chuckled.

"Of course you can! Bye, Mom. See you soon."

Both women hung up, and as Scully dialed the number of the cab company, she looked down at her stomach.

"I can't wait to meet you..."

<<<
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From: Amy Schatz <risamy@epix.net Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: ELYSIAN FIELDS - 5/7
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 96 11:18:32 PDT
See the non-existent disclaimer and the existent story notes in part one...

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