Elysian Fields
Part 5
by Amy Schatz
Both women hung up, and as Scully dialed the number of the cab
company, she looked down at her stomach.
"I can't wait to meet you..."
<<<
Unionville, Virginia
October 20, 2000
Scully's apartment
1:24 pm
Scully took a deep breath, letting the memories fade into the
background, so that she would have a clear mind when she told
Mulder. She knew now that she should have told him a long time
ago, but she had been hurting so much, and she had been sure that
he wouldn't want to know. But now, she wasn't so sure, and she
had decided that he had the right to know, and the right to
decide for himself.
"Mulder, there's something that you need to know." He
looked up at her as she stood before him, and wondered how much
pain this news of hers would cause him. It couldn't be good,
because she was dragging this out far too long. It had to be news
of her impending marriage or something equally horrible. But he
wished she would just say it and get it over with - even
executioners are quick with the ax.
"What is it, Scully? Just tell me." She sighed.
"Mulder, I... I'm the... I have a daughter."
If Mulder hadn't already been sitting down, he would have fallen
down. This had been the last thing he would ever have expected
her to say. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in total
shock. He watched silently, as Scully sat down next to him on the
couch. Scully had a daughter? It was unbelievable. Not because he
thought she wouldn't be a good mother, but because he just
couldn't see Scully as a mother at all. He thought of her as
Scully, his partner, an FBI agent, a doctor, but never a mother.
When he was finally able to get his voice to work again, he said,
"You have a daughter?" Scully nodded, one hand on his
shoulder.
"Yes, I do. I know this must be quite a shock to you."
He grinned very faintly.
"That's one way to put it. How old is she?" Scully
definitely didn't want to answer that question then. So, she got
up, and walked over to her mantle, taking a picture from there.
Walking back to him, she said,
"That's her this past summer." Mulder took the picture
and found himself looking down at a toddler sitting in some
grass. She was wearing a shirt with a flying saucer on it, and
was smiling happily at the camera. She had a swath of dark red
hair and warm hazel eyes.
"She's beautiful, Scully. She looks just like you."
Scully smiled.
"That's funny, I always thought she looked like someone
else." His eyes fell, and he handed her the picture.
"Her father, right?" Scully nodded.
"Yes, her father."
Mulder wondered what lucky man had found Scully and been graced
with her love. Mulder hoped that he was a good man, because
Scully deserved to be treated with respect and love. As these
thoughts wandered through his mind, Mulder remembered that one
winter night when he had a special visitor. A night when, if he
had listened to that person, he might have been able to win
Scully back.
<<< Alexandria, Virginia
November 3, 1997
Mulder's apartment
10:13 pm
Mulder sat in his dark apartment alone, as an old horror movie
played on the television. He raised a bottle of beer to his lips,
and drank the last of it, then put it on the floor next to the
other three. He wasn't drinking because this night marked
anything special - it was just that it was one more cold night
that he was without Scully. She had been gone nearly a year, and
the pain of her absence was still as fresh as if she had left the
day before. His eyes drifted to the fish tank, and he noticed
that all the fish were dead.
Nothing inside was alive - just like him. He wasn't alive inside,
he just pretended to be for the sake of the outside world. When
Scully had left him, he had shut down, and he never intended to
recover. He was about to reach for another bottle when someone
knocked on his door. Mulder sat back down in his chair, hoping
that the person would just give up and leave. But, he was not so
lucky. Not a half a minute later, the knock came again, and
Mulder decided that the sooner he answered it, the sooner the
person would leave him the hell alone. Walking to the door, he
pulled it open, and his eyes widened in surprise.
"Mrs. Scully?" he asked in disbelief. Margaret Scully
nodded, and smiled, albeit half- heartedly.
"May I come in, Fox?" she asked softly. Mulder nodded
and stepped aside to allow her to enter.
"Sure. I have to say I'm a little surprised to see
you."
"And I'm a little surprised to be here, Fox," she said,
looking around his apartment, noting its disarray. Her gaze
traveled to him, to his ratty looking T-shirt and sweat pants,
his unkempt hair, and the bags under his eyes. "What
happened, Fox?" she asked gently. She knew she didn't have
to explain her question. They could only be talking about one
thing. At this question, he seemed to visibly shrink from her and
he took a seat on his couch.
"I don't think it matters anymore, Mrs. Scully. It's
over." Margaret sat next to him and put a hand on his
shoulder.
"Fox, I know you love her. Why don't you go to her and try
to work this out?" Mulder shook his head and lowered it into
his hands.
"No, it's no good. That won't work. She hates me now, and
it's all because of a misunderstanding." Margaret knew it
could be so simple. All she had to do was take the picture of Fox
and Dana's little girl out of her purse, and tell him that she
was his daughter, and he would go running off to Dana. But if she
did that Dana would never forgive her, and Margaret couldn't lose
another daughter. Margaret thought of the little girl sleeping at
Dana's apartment now. The sweet little face with the wisp of
auburn hair and the blue eyes. At least, they were blue for now,
but Margaret knew that they would probably change. Maybe she
would have Fox's eyes.
"Fox, won't you at least try?" she finally asked. He
raised his head and turned to look at her, and in his eyes, she
saw the complete and total love that he held for her daughter.
"No I won't. I want Scully to be happy, and if being without
me makes her happy, then so be it." Margaret wanted to tell
him the truth so badly, but she couldn't. This was their problem
- Dana and Fox's - and they had to work it out for themselves.
Margaret just hoped that Dana came to her senses soon and didn't
deprive Fox of too much of his daughter's childhood. All she
could do was keep trying to make them see the truth, and hope for
the best.
"All right, Fox. I can't force you to do anything, but I
want you to promise me that you'll think about what I said,"
she said as she rose from the couch and walked to the door.
"I promise."
"Good. And Fox, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to
call me. Okay?" He smiled, ever so faintly, and nodded.
"I won't."
"Good bye, Fox."
He was silent as she opened the door and walked out. Sitting
back, he felt the loneliness creeping up on him again. And all he
could think was that another Scully had just left him.
<<< Unionville, Virginia
October 20, 2000
Scully's apartment
1:26 pm
Scully saw the expression on his face as he handed her the
picture, and she wondered what he was thinking. She knew that she
wasn't handling this as she had planned. She had thought that she
would just call him, he would come, and she would just tell him.
But it hadn't happened that way. Her insecurity had made her ask
him about Reese, and now time was running out. Scully knew that
the nanny would be back soon, and with her she would have her
daughter. Their daughter.
She wanted Mulder to know the truth before he came face to face
with his only daughter. She put the picture on the coffee table
and took his hand in both of hers. Mulder, startled at the
physical contact, turned to her, giving her his full attention.
Only in his dreams did she touch him like this, as she once had.
It felt good and awful at the same time - good because it was all
he wanted, but bad because he knew it couldn't last.
"Mulder, there's something you need to know."
"What? You keep saying that. Is it about you? Are you
married...are you getting married?" Scully' serious face
broke into a grin.
"Well, I haven't had any offers..." Unable to stop
himself, Mulder let out a sigh of relief, which made Scully
smile. He still cared about her, that much was certain, but she
wasn't sure if he still loved her. For now, however, that wasn't
as important as what he had to know.
"Mulder, this is about...my daughter," she said,
wanting to call her 'our daughter.' Mulder looked at her, his
brow knit in confusion.
"Your daughter? What does she have to do with me?" he
asked, totally lost. Scully smiled, and squeezed his hand.
"Oh, Mulder, she has everything to do with you. I should
have told you this a long time ago. Mulder-"
She was cut off by the sound of the door opening. Moments later,
a young woman stepped inside, one arm full of books, a blanket,
and a juice box, and the other full of a three year old girl. The
girl was smiling, her red hair tied up in a ponytail, wearing her
favorite flying saucer shirt. The nanny set the little girl down
as she turned around to close the door. Then she dropped all of
the things she had been carrying, and picked the girl up again.
"Come on, honey. Let's get you another juice box," she
said, not noticing that someone was with Scully. No one ever was,
so she never thought to look.
"Cassie!" Scully called. "Can that wait a
minute?" The woman stopped in mid-step, and turned around,
smiling. Her smile faded to a look of curiosity as she spotted
Mulder.
"I'm sorry, Dana, I didn't even notice you had
company," she said, eyeing the lanky Mulder, handsome in his
dark suit. Scully chuckled.
"It's okay, it's not often that I do." Cassie, carrying
the little girl, walked slowly into the living room, and handed
the girl over to Scully. The little girl smiled and hugged her
mother happily.
"Hiya, Mommy," she cooed. Scully smiled and kissed her
daughter's cheek.
"Hello, little one. How was school today?" As the
toddler proceeded to inform her mother of the day's events,
Mulder simply stared at the scene before him, and he rescinded
his earlier thoughts on Scully as a mother. He saw now that she
was very natural at it. Just then, the young child looked over
her mother's shoulder, and directly at him. Hazel locked with
hazel, and Mulder felt like he was looking into himself. It was
the strangest feeling he had ever encountered. He felt his heart
swell with love for the girl in Scully's arms, and he didn't even
know why. She was someone else's daughter - not his.
Scully turned to face him, and saw the expression on his face. It
was the expression of a father looking at his child for the first
time. It was the expression she had imagined he would have had,
had he been at the birth. Scully's mind took her back to that
long night. The night their daughter had come into her life.
<<< Unionville, Virginia
October 20, 1997
Rapahannock County Hospital
12:34 am
Scully clenched her teeth as another contraction hit her. She had
prepared for the pain, or so she had thought, but this was like
nothing she had ever felt before. It felt like living fire was
running free across her abdomen and back. When the pain finally
subsided, she lay back on the pillow, wiping a hand across her
forehead. She was already getting tired, and she had only been in
labor for a little over an hour. At this rate, she didn't see how
she could last. Scully closed her eyes, desperately wishing her
mother would walk through that door. But she knew that it would
be a while longer before her mother arrived.
When Scully had arrived at the hospital, they had signed her in
and taken her to a birthing room, made sure everything was in
order, and then they had left her alone. It seemed that that was
always the case. She was always alone in the end. But tonight,
all that would change. After tonight she would always have
someone with her, someone to take care of, and someone to love
her. Another shot of pain cut into her, and she cried out,
berating herself for succumbing to the pain so easily.
"Come on, little one," she said, her mouth set in a
grim line. "Let's make this easy." At that moment, the
pain seemed almost to double in intensity. After it was over,
Scully lay back once again, panting. "Of course you wouldn't
want to be born the easy way. Look who your father is," she
said with a wry smile. And at that moment, Scully wanted Mulder
to be with her so much, it almost hurt worse than the labor
pains. She wanted him to be there and hold her hand, kiss her
softly, and whisper that he loved her and their baby. And the
next thought that drifted into her mind was that he *could* be
there, if only she had let him. If only she had told him about
the baby, he might have wanted to come. And she hated herself for
keeping him away.
"Oh, Fox, I'm so sorry..." she mumbled, the discomfort
causing her words to slur slightly. said a voice inside her.
<He's not here because of you, and he's not going to be here,
so deal with it. Scully blinked back fresh tears, and closed her
eyes, thankful for a break.
****
Unionville, Virginia
October 20, 1997
Rapahannock County Hospital
1:21 am
Margaret Scully hurried in through the sliding doors of the
hospital's emergency entrance, and headed straight for the first
nurse's desk she saw. It had taken her longer to get to the
hospital than she expected. She had called the hospital, as Dana
had asked, and then she had called her neighbors to let them know
where she was going. Then she had left. She hoped that Dana was
doing all right. She knew what it was like to be alone in a
situation like that. She had had Charles when Bill was away, and
it had been a very scary night. But, if she knew her daughter at
all, she knew that Dana would be putting up a strong front.
"Can you tell me what room Dana Scully is in?" she
asked quietly. The nurse looked down at a chart, and said,
"She's in Birthing Room 3. You are?"
"I'm her mother, and she asked me to be present." The
nurse smiled.
"Go right on in. It's the third room on the right."
Margaret nodded, mumbled her thanks, and headed off for the room.
She knocked softly, and then pushed the door open quickly. She
saw her daughter lying on a bed and she had no covers. Her
forehead was drenched in sweat, as was her exposed collarbone and
neck. She was looking away from the door, at a distant point, and
didn't hear her mother come in.
"Hello, Dana," Margaret said, in an almost whisper.
Scully did not turn towards her mother, in fact, she acted as
though she had never heard her. Her attention was directly in
front of her, at the side of her bed. Margaret walked forward,
and sat down in the chair next to the bed. She reached out and
touched Dana's arm, and Scully jumped.
"I'm sorry, dear. I didn't mean to frighten you."
Scully looked at her for a few moments, and then forced a weak
smile.
"It's all right, Mom. I was just thinking."
"How are you, Dana?" Scully chuckled.
"Okay, I guess. But I think..." her words faded away,
as her eyes swam shut, and she braced herself for the next
contraction. As the pain overcame her daughter, Margaret stroked
her hair gently, wishing that Fox were there.
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