Date: 10 Aug 1998 06:07:51 GMT
From: Ms Spookey 
Subject: *NEW* "Marooned with a Bathmat" MSR! Humor 

Heeey all. Here I am again with a new product of insomnia!

Title: Marooned with a Bathmat (1/1)
Author:Piper Maru
Rating: PG-13 maybe for a few naughty words
Category: MSR, humor, maybe a tiny bit o' angst
Spoilers: they mention the abduction, cancer, and Scully's Emily, but 
thats about it.
Summary: Mulder and Scully get locked in Mulder's bathroom and things 
get a bit... interesting...
Author's note: If you guys haven't noticed, I don't write NC-17 sex 
thingamawotsits. Mainly because, I'm still not 17. Won't be for another 
3 years. I do read the stuff if I must, I feel I am mature enough (I've 
been through alot in my life, I can handle alot more than most people my 
age). Please try and take me seriously, I'm mature for a kid. But don't 
expect me to write that kind of scene for a while, k? K. Got that much 
cleared up. =-)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm broke. Thats all you need to know.
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   Scully eyed the clock in annoyance, waiting for her partner to get 
out of the shower. The two agents had a hearing in a hour, and Jana 
Cassidy and Co. wouldn't be happy if they were late. Scully stamped her 
foot angrily and glanced at the X taped to Mulder's window. This hearing 
was going to be big. Not neccessarily good, just big. The anxiety that 
riddled Skinner's voice over the phone had given it away. Now she 
wringed her hands in nervous anticipation and again eyed the wall clock.

   Mulder swiped the steam from the mirror before him and picked up his 
comb. The scar from the bullet wound on his shoulder caught his eye. 
Usually it was flat and just a hue darker than his skin, but it appeared 
raised and pinkish now. Whatta good time to have a medical problem, the 
best doc in D.C. was in his living room.

   "Hey Scully, could ya come here a sec?"

   "Are you, uh...decent, Mulder?"

   "Aww, you ruin the whole element of suprise!"

   Scully rolled her eyes, making a valiant effort to hide her 
amusement. She pushed the slightly ajar door open to reveal a towel clad 
Mulder examining his shoulder. "What is it?" She automatically pulled 
the door shut behind her. Mulder panicked as he heard the creaking as it 
glided back into its place.

   "SCULLY DON'T..." CLICK. "...shut that door..." His eyes darted up to 
her face. "Tell me you have your cell phone in your pocket..." he 
uttered, his face drawn. 
  
   "Umm, no it's in my purse in your living room, why?" She stared up at 
him questioningly. Her eyes assessed the expression in his. He looked 
down his nose in irritation at her, something very uncharacteristic of 
him. 

   "Well, Scully, that door locks from the outside. We're stuck in here. 
Trapped. Deserted. Marooned with a bathmat." He sat on the edge of his 
tub, clutching his towel tightly around his waist. Scully stared at him 
in disbelief, taking in what he had just told her. She turned to the 
door and frantically pulled and yanked at the knob, muttering 
obscenities through her clenched teeth. She swung back around to face 
him, ready to lecture him or beat him or something...

   The lop-sided grin that escaped and danced across Mulder's unshaven 
face cooled her anger. She chuckled in spite of herself. "This SUCKS, 
y'know that?" She was yelling, but her tone mocked the irony of the 
situation, and a dazzling smile flashed down at him. He returned the 
expression and rose, still clinging to the towel. He dug around 
momentarily in his laundry basket that sat next to the locked door. 

   "Turn around." She looked confused, but did as she was told. Mulder 
pulled on some black jeans and an old, tattered football jersey, 
unknowing that Scully watched him dress in the reflection of the mirror 
that lie in her peripheral vision, a wry smile tugging at the corner of 
her mouth. 

   "K, done." Scully turned and glared at him. "So, now what? You can't 
open that door, Mulder?" She forced her voice to be stern and impatient, 
which intimidated him enough to obey her. Mulder shrugged and his eyes 
studied the door. Scully could almost see a light bulb pop up above his 
head at that moment. An idea....

   Mulder motioned for her to get out of the way. She stood herself upon 
the edge of the tub out of his way, and he backed himself up against the 
wall opposite the door. Lowering himself into a crouch like a runner 
would before a race, he took several deep breaths, his eyes shut, 
focusing... then he pushed off the wall with a swift kick, and rammed 
his shoulder into the door in an attempt to break it down and turn out 
to be the hero. Scully winced when she heard the sound it had made.

   *WHAM!!!* "Owwww!" Mulder collapsed in front of the door, clutching 
his shoulder. "Scullleeeeee! Why'd ya let me do that?" Scully bit her 
lip to contain her laughter as she jumped down from the edge of the tub 
(no small feat for someone in 3 inch heels) and kneeled at his side. 

   "Mulder... *snicker* what the heck are you trying to do? Break your 
arm?" She chuckled as he whimpered pitifully. He shot her a glare and 
she thought she saw the tiniest of grins flit across his face behind the 
pained expression. She managed, by ignoring the whining, to pry his 
fingers from the "honorably wounded" shoulder. It seemed to dangle at a 
bit of an odd angle, and after some poking, prodding, and a few of 
Mulder's cries muffled by the worn bathmat, Scully helped him sit up 
with his back against the offending  door. 

   "For God's sake, Mulder, you dislocated it. This is what happens when 
someone overreacts and tries to be heroic. I have to fix it, y'know..." 
Mulder cringed. He knew how that worked. Painfully usually. His long 
fingers again closed around his shoulder, trying to blot out the 
horrible ache that struck there. Scully ruffled his hair playfully and 
grinned at him. "I'll try not to make it hurt TOO badly, Mulder. Trust 
me."

   "Yeah, this coming from the woman who shoots me 'for my own good' and 
locks me in a bathroom on the day of possibly the most important hearing 
of our careers." He half-grinned stupidly at her, and she stared into 
his eyes deeply. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling his face 
closer to hers, their noses almost touching.

   "Now, Mulder, did it ever occur to you that I might've locked us both 
in here for a REASON?" Her voice lowered to a seductive purr, and Mulder 
blinked in disbelief. His shocked expression reduced her to laughter 
again. God, he practically had her on a pedestal for a moment there. She 
made a mental note to use that sexy voice again when she needed him to 
be gullible.

   Scully grabbed Mulder's upper arm with one hand and clutched his own 
hand with the other. He braced himself for the sharp pain as she quickly 
replaced the limb into its proper position with a loud *SNAP*! His eyes 
watered and he chewed his lip as she lowered herself back into the 
kneeling position in front of him, still holding his hand.

   "Oh, Mulder..." Scully noticed the brightness of the tears in his 
eyes and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry. I know how much that hurts." She 
leaned in and hugged him gently in a very unScullyistic show of 
compassion. He reached up his good arm and patted her back reassuringly.

   "S'alright Scully. I'm okay. No harm done, you're forgiven." She 
rocked  back onto her heels and examined his face. He smiled gently at 
her, the pain vanished from his eyes. She rose and offered her hand to 
his good one, and he accepted. With a loud grunt, he pulled himself off 
the floor and stood facing her.

   "So Mulder, would you like to tell me what we do now? Or go over my 
reasons one more time for choosing this job over being a succesful 
doctor?" Mulder blinked at her sudden change. She stamped her foot 
impatiently.

   "I liked you better before," Mulder mumbled, unfortunately loud 
enough for her to hear. She grabbed his arm (the good one, to his 
relief) and yanked him to her. 
 
   "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'YOU LIKED ME BETTER BEFORE'? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME 
NOW??" She was ticked. His STUPID bathroom door was keeping her from the 
STUPID hearing that could mean something HUGE to her STUPID career! She 
practically growled at him, and he cowered, avoiding her eyes. (Hey, 
someone who's been through as much as she has in 5 years is entitled to 
some mood swings!)

   "I just meant... you changed for a second. You...hugged me. It was 
nice. Now yer just bein' a big meany-head..." His voice sounded sweet 
and innocent like a small child, and he looked at her with two big, sad 
eyes. She pushed him against the door and began pacing around the 
bathroom, kicking at the faded bathmat's frayed edge at each passing. 
Mulder strode to the edge of the tub, grabbing a small paper bag off the 
corner of the sink on his way. He watched in amusement as she stalked 
around the small room, spitting out every obscenity he'd ever heard (and 
then some).

   "Does your mother know you talk like that, Scully?" She bolted at him 
and his feet pounded the tiled floor as he attempted to escape. His 
laughter echoed throughout the room as Scully gave chase. Her expression 
had softened to a good-natured scowl. Mulder tripped on a towel and fell 
to his knees. "Oh, Crap..." 

   Scully knocked him onto his back and lay her body against his chest, 
pinning his arms to the floor. She was a hell of alot stronger than she 
looked, he noted. He grinned in an unnervingly big-brotherish fashion in 
spite of his throbbing shoulder. It was so stupid looking she had to 
laugh.

   "Awww, Muldeeeer? I was gonna beat you up! You're ruining the 
moment!" Scully whined like a little girl who was trying to convince her 
mommy to buy her a lollipop. 

   Mulder's voice lowered to a husky timbre, mimicking the deep, 
seductive purr Scully'd used before. "You better get offa me, Scully, or 
you'll have to do more than beat me..." Her face flushed a deep crimson 
and she rolled off of him and onto the cold tile next to him. 

   "You could be comatose and dehydrated in the middle of an ice flow in 
Alaska with a bullet in your head, and your mind could still go there, 
Mulder." His body shook with silent laughter. "That a threat, Scully?"

   If only Skinner could see them now. His two best agents lying on the 
floor together in a bathroom, one's red hair mussed up, and the other 
clutching a bag of sunflower seeds. They were gonna have some explaining 
to do. The two stared at the ceiling. 

   "What now?" They spoke in unison and looked at each other 
questioningly. Mulder shrugged, provoking an eye-rolling from his 
partner. She propped herself up on her elbow and eyed him. There was no 
way out of this. They'd either die of boredom or just die. The only 
magazines in here were Mulder's, and Scully didn't even want to KNOW 
what lay within their dog-eared covers. The window was far too tiny for 
even her to squeeze through, and it was dangerously high from the 
pavement anyhow. She sighed in annoyance.

   "You suppose Skinner'll come find us?" 

   "Let's hope not. I doubt he'd find this amusing. Maybe I should try 
to break down the door again."

   "Not unless you want all your bones snapped backed into place..."

   "Hmmph..."

   "I'm bored, Mulder."

   "That was quick. Whatever happened to staring myopically into space 
and daydreaming to cure your boredom, Scully? You used to do it all the 
time."

   She shrugged. "I dunno. I guess it got too depressing. I kept 
thinking about the 3 months I can't remember, about my cancer and what 
happens if it comes back, about..." She paused for a moment, and two 
hazel orbs studied her face quietly. 

   "About Emily, Scully?"

   She nodded and blinked at the burning of tears in her eyes. It was 
still a sensitive subject after half a year. Mulder reached out and 
grasped her hand. He tugged it gently and she closer moved to lay her 
head on his shoulder. His hand moved in a circular motion over her back, 
reassuring her that he was there for her. 

   "It's still weird, Mulder. It's really hard. I never got to hold her, 
or nurse her, or anything. And I'll never get to kiss her and put her on 
the bus on her first day of school, or be there to help her with her 
homework, or see her on her prom night, or...." Her voice broke, and 
Mulder felt his shirt wetten with her tears. He squeezed her hand 
gently. After some silence, her voice shook once again with quiet sobs, 
"And Mulder, you know what the worst part is?"

   "Hmmm?"

   "I can't ever make up for it. I can't have any other children. I've 
lost my chance..." Mulder pulled her closer and buried his face in her 
hair, inhaling her scent. She looked up at him, her eyes red and shining 
with tears. His fingers combed through the auburn strands as he watched 
her watch him. She smiled weakly at him and she moved her head under his 
chin. 

   "Thank you, Mulder."

   "What for?"
 
   "For being the one who's here for me when I need to cry and.. get... 
alla this off my chest." Her voice sounded calmer but still hesitant and 
uneasy.

   "Where else would I be, Scully? First of all, we're locked in." He 
felt her smile against his chest. "And not to mention, you, Scully...." 
he paused, searching for the perfect words. After a moment her voice 
broke the silence.

   "I.... what, Mulder?"

   "Nuthin..."

   "Heeeey, no fair!" She whined, and he chuckled. "Ya can't do that to 
me, Mulder! Tell me."

   "Nope, can't." He whispered. "It's a secret..." She smacked his 
shoulder playfully. His bad shoulder. The one he dislocated just minutes 
ago.

   "SON-OF-A..." 

   "Oh shit, Mulder..." He doubled up and clutched his shoulder, and she 
gingerly placed a hand on the back of his head. His eyes shut so tightly 
against the pain that creases formed in the skin around them, and his 
nose wrinkled as sweat beads rolled quickly down his face. The searing 
pain eventually passed and left a dull aching in its wake. Mulder's 
breath hissed out from between his teeth as he lay back down, rubbing 
his shoulder in an attempt to remedy the ache.

   "What fun..." he quipped, eyes closed but grinning. When there was no 
response from his partner, he opened his eyes to look at her. Her face 
lacked expression, but grief and concern riddled her ice blue eyes. His 
hand released his shoulder and pushed some hair away from her face. She 
shrugged her shoulders.

   "Some mother I would've been. I can't even last 10 minutes without 
hurting someone I lo.....care about." She rose and sat upon the edge of 
the bathtub, eyes downcast. Mulder automatically followed and sat at her 
side.

   "You would've been the best mother ever to walk this planet, Scully. 
And don't try and tell me that I'm just trying to make you feel better. 
It's true. You would've done wonderful." His fingers touched the long 
line of her neck, reaching under the thick mane of copper. "You've done 
wonders for me. After Sam was taken, my mother.... just wasn't motherly 
anymore. Then, when I met you, you took over as the mother figure in my 
life, amongst other things. And believe me, you've been the greatest 
mother I could've hoped for." 

   Scully stared at him, incredulous. She hung off his final words and 
he laughed. "Never thought I'd tell you that..." She smiled slightly and 
raised her eyebrows. Her eyes darted to her hands in her lap.

   "I-- I don't know what to say...." She felt him gently press his lips 
to her temple. The kiss lingered and his breath was warm against her 
skin when he spoke.

   "Then say nothing."

   "Thank you Mulder." She looked back up at him and he smiled, almost 
appearing embarrassed. His finger played with the wrinkled edge of the 
brown paper bag. 

   "Didn't I just tell you to say nothing? Don't you ever shut up 
Scully?" She laughed and smoothed down her hair. The two sat there as a 
silence settled over the linolieum above and below them. It wasn't an 
awkward or uncomfortable silence, but rather a reflective one. 

(20 minutes later....)

   The sound of Scully's stomach rumbling broke through the quiet, and 
the two giggled in unison.

   "Hungry, Scully?" She nodded at him. "Just imagine, if we weren't 
here, that sound would've been right in the middle of the hearing. 
Y'know how embarrassed you'd be? As fate would have it, you need not 
be." She laughed and he tossed the bag of seeds to her. She popped a few 
into her mouth, spitting the seeds into the trash can every few seconds. 
Mulder watched her in silence and a smile escaped and crossed his face.

   "Hey, Scully, didja know that I can shell one of these using only my 
tongue?" She scoffed in disbelief and raised one eyebrow. "No, 
seriously. Watch this, now." He reached into the bag, stuck out his 
tongue and placed the seed in the middle of it. Scully watched, 
mesmerized, as his tongue folded around it and broke the shell apart, 
separating it from the seed in the center. He reached up and removed the 
discarded shell, holding it up for Scully's inspection.

   Her jaw had long since dropped to the floor. Somehow that little 
perverse display had managed to turn her on. 
"That's.....that's....disgusting, Mulder..." she finally managed to 
croak out, her eyes still locked on his delicious mouth. He laughed 
quietly and draped an arm over her shoulders. Despite all her efforts, 
she couldn't quite divert her eyes from his lips. His full, red lips. 
His beautiful....pouty.....kissable...

   Her hormones got the best of her in the end. She impulsively leaned 
into him and grazed his lips with hers. Her tongue teased his mouth into 
opening. The kiss deepened and their tongues probed and explored, both 
of their minds reeling. When she finally broke the kiss, Scully was 
short of breath. She looked up into his eyes, her hand resting at the 
back of his skull.

   "Mulder, I think I know what we do now..." she whispered. Mulder 
nodded slightly, feeling her fingers move up under his shirt.

(1 hour later....)

   The two agents lay in very much the same position as before, with she 
tucked into the warmth and comfort of his body as his hands wandered 
over her back silently. The only difference was, neither wore any 
clothes. Their previous attire sat in scattered heaps near the bathtub, 
the only thing separating them from the frigid tile being a worn, faded, 
ragged bathmat that bore witness to very much in the past few hours. 

   "This bathmat's been very good to us..." Mulder uttered quietly, 
still exhausted from the...*ahem*... previous events that took place 
there. Scully responded with a "mmm hmmm...." that was laced with a 
subtle delight. Her fingers touched his chest lovingly and he sighed, 
both intertwined beings oblivious to the fact that his front door was 
being opened by a certain tall, lanky, bald Assistant Director 
Skinner......
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Weeeellll, didja like it folks?
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