Title: More Than This

Author: Ana Hawkman 


Category: MSR

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Mid-Requiem

Archiving: Anywhere, just let me 
know so I can come and visit.

Feedback: 
dana_scully146@xfilesfan.com

Author's Notes: Continuation of the spooning 
scene.  I just wrote it, and I'm too 
eager to get it out there to stop for 
spell and grammar check. Thanks 
to Meaghan McScully for being the
best Phile friend ever. Honest 
opinions gratefully accepted.

Beta's Notes:  

Thoughts: I don't think they had 
sex that night.  Sorry, folks, but
my thoughts of the first time are 
more candles-and-scullys-appartment, 
gentle, slow, loving sorta deal... not 
something that happened in a 
hotel room. This is what I think 
really happened.


~~~
Laying there, with Mulder wrapped 
protectively around me, I wanted
to believe.  I wanted to believe that 
he could protect me from everything, 
as I knew he so desperately wanted 
to.  I relished the feeling of him, of 
the comfort he offered me, but 
somehow knew that I could not 
let myself fall asleep like this. Not 
tonight.

"Mulder," I murmured his name 
gently, feeling guilty at the thought 
that he was nearly asleep.  The sleep 
that he got was scattered and rare, 
and I didn't want to deprive him of it. 

"Mmm?" 

"I should... go back," I said quietly, 
letting my reluctance bleed through 
in my voice. 

"If that's what you want," he replied, 
sounding slightly more alert. I tried to 
convince myself that it was the right 
thing, the professional thing to do.  
Then again, Mulder and I had been 
friends for a long time. I nestled 
back into his chest, and suddenly 
realized, with a tiny pang of fear, 
that I didn't *want* to leave. 

"Can I just um... get some pajamas?" 
I asked, my voice sounding almost 
frightened. 

"Of course, Scully." He gently 
unwrapped himself from around 
me and crawled to the side of the 
bed.  I rolled over pushing the 
covers aside, sliding to the edge 
of the bed to sit next to him. I 
looked down at my hands, almost 
afraid to look at him.  Sensing it,
 he whispered my name. I met his 
eyes. 

"It's just me," he said, reaching for 
my hand.  I was a little confused. 
"It's just me," he repeated.  I 
looked into his deep hazel eyes, 
and nodded.  I had to remember 
that this was Mulder, my partner.  
He was my best friend, my 
touchstone, my life.  He would 
never hurt me. 

"I'll be right back," I said, rising 
from the bed.  I retreated back 
to my own room, and opened 
my small, black suitcase. I 
reached in, retrieving my 
cream silk pajamas. I slid 
into them, and walked over 
to the mirror.

I pulled my hair back, leaving 
soft tendrils down around my 
face. Looking into the mirror, 
I reminded myself again. *This 
is *Mulder*, Dana. Calm down.* 
I took a deep breath, and 
opened the door. 

A soft knock on Mulder's door, 
and he let me in.  He was 
standing there in boxers and a 
clean white t-shirt, his hair 
fuzzy. I softened, suppressing 
a fond smile.  The covers on 
the bed had been neatly folded 
back, and I crawled beneath 
them. He slid in next to me, 
once around spooning around me. 

"You're shivering again," his voice 
was filled with concern. I couldn't 
respond. He wrapped his arms 
around me, nuzzling his nose into 
my neck. His large, gentle hands 
burrowed up my pajama top, but 
did not wander. I silently thanked 
him for that, for knowing that I 
couldn't handle more at that 
moment. His hands rested on 
my stomach in a warming caress, 
and I relaxed against him. I should 
have known that this was all he 
wanted to do. He just wanted to 
hold me. It felt wonderful. It felt 
warm and safe and gentle and 
loving, and respectful, and tender, 
and all of the other components of 
our relationship put together. 

"Thank you," I reiterated. 

"You're welcome, Scully," he 
whispered into my neck. "I love 
you." 

My heart skipped a beat. That 
meant so much coming from him, 
and I suddenly wondered if I had 
dreamed it.  I had wanted it for so 
long, but denied myself belief that 
it would ever happen. I held back 
tears, and placed my hand over 
his.  Our fingers laced together, 
and I closed my eyes.

"I love you so much, Mulder," I 
whispered, and my words caught 
in my throat. I hiccuped a little, 
and allowed a few tears to fall. 
Mulder's hands smoothed gentle 
circles on my stomach, and he 
drew me farther into his embrace.

"Shhhh... don't cry. Don't cry. Just 
relax, Scully.  I'll see you in the 
morning." With that, he rested his 
lips back against my neck, and we 
both drifted off into the most 
refreshing and comfortable sleep. 
~~~


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