Title: More Than This
Author: Ana Hawkman
Category: MSR
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Mid-Requiem
Archiving: Anywhere, just let me
know so I can come and visit.
Feedback:
dana_scully146@xfilesfan.com
Author's Notes: Continuation of the spooning
scene. I just wrote it, and I'm too
eager to get it out there to stop for
spell and grammar check. Thanks
to Meaghan McScully for being the
best Phile friend ever. Honest
opinions gratefully accepted.
Beta's Notes:
Thoughts: I don't think they had
sex that night. Sorry, folks, but
my thoughts of the first time are
more candles-and-scullys-appartment,
gentle, slow, loving sorta deal... not
something that happened in a
hotel room. This is what I think
really happened.
~~~
Laying there, with Mulder wrapped
protectively around me, I wanted
to believe. I wanted to believe that
he could protect me from everything,
as I knew he so desperately wanted
to. I relished the feeling of him, of
the comfort he offered me, but
somehow knew that I could not
let myself fall asleep like this. Not
tonight.
"Mulder," I murmured his name
gently, feeling guilty at the thought
that he was nearly asleep. The sleep
that he got was scattered and rare,
and I didn't want to deprive him of it.
"Mmm?"
"I should... go back," I said quietly,
letting my reluctance bleed through
in my voice.
"If that's what you want," he replied,
sounding slightly more alert. I tried to
convince myself that it was the right
thing, the professional thing to do.
Then again, Mulder and I had been
friends for a long time. I nestled
back into his chest, and suddenly
realized, with a tiny pang of fear,
that I didn't *want* to leave.
"Can I just um... get some pajamas?"
I asked, my voice sounding almost
frightened.
"Of course, Scully." He gently
unwrapped himself from around
me and crawled to the side of the
bed. I rolled over pushing the
covers aside, sliding to the edge
of the bed to sit next to him. I
looked down at my hands, almost
afraid to look at him. Sensing it,
he whispered my name. I met his
eyes.
"It's just me," he said, reaching for
my hand. I was a little confused.
"It's just me," he repeated. I
looked into his deep hazel eyes,
and nodded. I had to remember
that this was Mulder, my partner.
He was my best friend, my
touchstone, my life. He would
never hurt me.
"I'll be right back," I said, rising
from the bed. I retreated back
to my own room, and opened
my small, black suitcase. I
reached in, retrieving my
cream silk pajamas. I slid
into them, and walked over
to the mirror.
I pulled my hair back, leaving
soft tendrils down around my
face. Looking into the mirror,
I reminded myself again. *This
is *Mulder*, Dana. Calm down.*
I took a deep breath, and
opened the door.
A soft knock on Mulder's door,
and he let me in. He was
standing there in boxers and a
clean white t-shirt, his hair
fuzzy. I softened, suppressing
a fond smile. The covers on
the bed had been neatly folded
back, and I crawled beneath
them. He slid in next to me,
once around spooning around me.
"You're shivering again," his voice
was filled with concern. I couldn't
respond. He wrapped his arms
around me, nuzzling his nose into
my neck. His large, gentle hands
burrowed up my pajama top, but
did not wander. I silently thanked
him for that, for knowing that I
couldn't handle more at that
moment. His hands rested on
my stomach in a warming caress,
and I relaxed against him. I should
have known that this was all he
wanted to do. He just wanted to
hold me. It felt wonderful. It felt
warm and safe and gentle and
loving, and respectful, and tender,
and all of the other components of
our relationship put together.
"Thank you," I reiterated.
"You're welcome, Scully," he
whispered into my neck. "I love
you."
My heart skipped a beat. That
meant so much coming from him,
and I suddenly wondered if I had
dreamed it. I had wanted it for so
long, but denied myself belief that
it would ever happen. I held back
tears, and placed my hand over
his. Our fingers laced together,
and I closed my eyes.
"I love you so much, Mulder," I
whispered, and my words caught
in my throat. I hiccuped a little,
and allowed a few tears to fall.
Mulder's hands smoothed gentle
circles on my stomach, and he
drew me farther into his embrace.
"Shhhh... don't cry. Don't cry. Just
relax, Scully. I'll see you in the
morning." With that, he rested his
lips back against my neck, and we
both drifted off into the most
refreshing and comfortable sleep.
~~~
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