How the hell do you do this?
I let you in.
Past my barriers, my high ice walls.
You didn't even have to fight.
And then...
You betrayed me.
I trusted you.
Yet you turned your back.
You cut me up from the inside.
so now I'm bleeding.
My red vibrant blood.
Dripping down my arms, down my legs.
Dripping from my soul.
A traitor's job.
Completed from the inside.
But I didn't even have the will
To fight you.
Instead I cried myself to sleep.
Bleeding and weeping.
With an aching hole inside.
But now you're gone.
You left by the back door.
While I lay there, not noticing.
Not even having the strength to look.
My wounds have scabbed over.
My soul is a void of black.
My tears, salt crusted on my cheeks.
I have to heal from the outside in.
So I wash my face.
I smile, but not inside.
And I take a step outside.
I put my sunglasses on to hide the black circles.
And I know I must move on.
Without you.
Even after this,
I can't stop caring.
And I hate myself for caring.
About you.