TITLE: GHOSTS
AUTHOR: Jennifer Bates
FEEDBACK: Yes! Good or bad. purplehazejb@yahoo.com
RATING: R
MAIN CHARACTER/S: Jimmy and Rachel
STATUS: Complete
DISCLAIMER:
A steady rain cascaded across the windowpane, drowning the sounds of her struggles to file down the cold irons holding her captive in the small room. The others slept soundly, unconscious of her struggles and she was thankful for this chance at freedom. Fine drops of blood seeped from her fingertips and caused the metal to become slippery, hindering her silent task. She labored tirelessly until, eventually, the last notch slipped free and she stood, overlooking the other prisoners, her heartbeat ringing in her ears.
At last! The young woman crept forth to the back window, taking care not to stumble upon the steel trap positioned beneath it. With all her strength, she heaved the wooden casement and slid through effortlessly, her bare feet splashing into the mud underneath. For a moment, she stood motionless, a slow smile beginning on her lips at the experience of the earth under her feet. She wriggled her toes in the mud, cherishing the terrific taste of a new life.
Easing her way past the neighboring structures, her gaze never left the men standing guard at the makeshift jail. With hardly a sound, she crawled over to a horse standing outside the saloon, careful not to frighten the animal. She stood up beside the mare and whispered lightly to her, slipping onto her back and urging her into a trot. Though she was eager to hurry, the last thing she needed was any attention. So, biting her lip, she goaded the mare into a brisk gallop.
No one turned in her direction as she progressed. They all seemed busy with other things and she was pleased that it was dark so that no one could identify her. When they advanced past the last house, she kicked her heels against the animal’s side, holding secure to her mane as they ran like the hounds of hell. She never looked back to see if anyone came, only ahead, daring to envision her future and where on earth she could go from here. Wherever it was, it would be a far distance from Lincoln, she was convinced of that.
Excitement and apprehension both filled her heart at once, each warring with the other. She had no clue as to what would befall her next and she concluded that it mattered not, as long as there were no irons around her ankles ever again. Yet in the open wilderness, she detected a claustrophobic fear settling in, advancing to close itself around her, ensnare her into its clutches until she went mad. It demanded every ounce of courage she could collect to fight it, to tell herself that she was no longer restrained and that she had her privilege of life after enduring captivity for so long.
Several miles away, in Sweetwater, a group of young fellows sat in a bunkhouse, quietly sharing the evening meal. A seasoned gentleman sat at the head of the table, striving to find something to say to them, anything to console them. He found nothing.
Jimmy Hickok fidgeted in his chair, wishing he were someplace else. His furrowed brow confirmed his restlessness, his anxiety to leave from this suffocating way of life. He didn’t want to remain here one single day longer and had relayed that cold, hard fact earlier to his employer, Teaspoon Hunter.
“Just said it’s time for me to move on,” Jimmy proclaimed, his tone hinting at exasperation, “Been here too long, anyways.”
The older individual had drawn a shaky breath, held it and exhaled loudly. His resolve began to wear thin and his own distress was obvious at times. He’d sought every method possible in order to bring Hickock out of his discouraged frame of mind. But, the boy seemed driven on remaining inconsolable.
“Son, listen,” he protested, attempting his last hold at tolerance, “We need ya around here. Sure it’s been lonesome since Emma left us after she and Sam married, but we gotta try to pull together and not let this thing git to us. I know how you feel...”
“No, you don’t!” Jimmy exclaimed, breaking in, “No one does, Teaspoon, yet, they all try to and it’s makin’ me crazy! Why can’t ya just let me alone? Just let me leave, that’s all I’m askin’.”
“Because!” he shouted back, visibly upset, “Jimmy, all of us care about ya, we’ve been together for a long time, you know that. Secondly, you go runnin’ out there and you might not like whatcha find. Chances are, you won’t make it a year out there, what with the reputation that writer started for ya. Every hot-headed gunslinger around’ll be lookin’ to take a shot atcha.”
“Then, that’s a chance I’ll have to take, isn’t it?”
Teaspoon observed a slight understanding cross the young man’s face, only to disintegrate a second later. He reckoned that there would be no talking him out of this for he would do precisely what he hankered for. He furthermore concluded that there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
“That it is, son, that it is.”
Teaspoon walked away, abandoning Jimmy to reflect on their conversation. So many choices raced through his mind and confused his judgment. Jimmy sincerely didn’t want to leave, yet, he knew no another way. Nothing remained here for him anymore, not with Emma missing. She had been identical to the mother he’d never had the convenience of enjoying and, now, never would again. That concept alone upset his tormented spirit, reminding him of the cherished loved ones he’d lost over time.
“Jimmy?” Buck mumbled, “Teaspoon tells us you’re leavin’.”
Jimmy pretended to disregard him, praying he’d tire and just disappear. With Buck, it wasn’t that typical, nor could the Indian allow his companion to go without a few words of faithful wisdom.
“Can’t say as I blame ya,” he persevered, “If there were other places we could go, I think we’d all like to throw in the towel. I think I’d do the same. Just wanna wish ya luck and watch your back, Jimmy.”
Jimmy studied him distrustfully, looking for a hidden motive and he found none. His Indian friend delivered sincerity and it was a comfort to know that he didn’t have to answer to someone else again.
“Thanks, Buck, appreciate you not tryin’ to talk me out of it. My mind’s made up.”
“I can see that,” conceded Buck, “Anyway, if I don’t see you in the mornin’, I guess it’s goodbye, then.”
Jimmy got up, facing him and clasping his hand firmly in a handshake. Their eyes surrendered many words unspoken and neither sensed the demand to spoil this farewell.
“Goodbye, Buck. And, thanks for not...well, goodbye.”
Buck turned and strode off back to the corral, saddling up the horse and riding out. A discouraged expression on his features at losing yet another friend. Buck didn’t have a large amount of those and he valued the ones he was rich enough to find. Jimmy had survived as one of those friends and his mood was dejected at the loss. First, Emma and Sam and now Jimmy would vanish as well. Life had a peculiar way of changing when you least expected.
“Boys!” Teaspoon gathered them around, awaiting their response.
Jimmy set the horse brush aside and drifted out of the barn, his eyes adjusting to the dark night. He’d been preparing his horse and meager belongings for the last ride out tomorrow. Right now, he didn’t rely on himself to be distracted by anyone or anything for fear he’d change his decision and linger a short while longer.
“We’re all here,” Kid announced, “What is it?”
Teaspoon wheeled about to the location of the door and spoke gently.
“C’mon out, Rachel. They’re here.”
Promptly, an extremely apprehensive and very beautiful, young woman exited the bunkhouse, her sweeping gaze taking in the image of each one of them. Astonished and surprised, no one voiced a word, only stared.
“Boys, this here’s Miss Rachel Dunne,” he stated, enjoying the amazed expressions, “She’ll be tendin’ to ya, same as Emma done. Any objections?”
She glanced at at first one, then the other. Silence.
“After you, Miss Dunne,” Teaspoon bowed slightly, “C’mon, boys, let’s eat.”
Lou marched forward first, wiping the corner of Kid’s mouth. He started a little and glared at her as if he’d been slapped.
“You’re droolin’,” she quipped, giggling aloud as she followed.
“What in the hell was that?” Noah asked, awestruck.
Cody spoke up, smart-assed character though he was. Ike elbowed Jimmy, referring to the open door with a silly grin on his face.
“That,” Cody continued, “is a breath of fresh air. Ya’ll comin’? I’m starved!”
“Funny,” Noah laughed, “I was just thinkin’ that same thing myself, Cody.”
Cody howled with laughter and proceeded toward the steps, Ike directly behind him and Noah followed, chuckling to himself.
Jimmy couldn’t budge. He stood secured to the ground beneath his feet, his jaw descended partially. He struggled to form words but they were lost somewhere between his tongue and lips. Everyone else had retreated inside, leaving him too stunned to breathe.
Miss Rachel Dunne was more than a breath of fresh air as Cody had remarked, she was the wind, the sun, the moon and the stars to Jimmy. Instantly, he felt complete, inspired to stay a bit longer to discover what supernatural hold this woman had blanketed around his heart. He aimed to know her, talk with her and perhaps...to be with her.
Rachel involved herself by stacking mounds of food on the plates, only to have it vaporize within minutes. She smiled to herself, content that they’d taken their meeting so well. It would be demanding to fill the shoes of their prior housekeeper, Emma. But Rachel swore to dedicate her everything. She’d never imagined she’d find a home to settle in so soon after her escape from Lincoln. Teaspoon hired her on the spot after chatting with her for merely half an hour. She hadn’t slept since, delighted at the prospect to start fresh with these reasonably friendly folks.
“Where’s Jimmy?” Teaspoon asked to no one in particular.
“Dunno, guess he went back to the barn,” Lou responded, her glares leveling in Kid’s direction.
Rachel listened as they addressed their concerns for the man outside. She couldn’t pretend not to catch the way his eyes changed, how his face descended in dumbstruck admiration at the sight of her. It rather caused her to blush, his immediate attraction to her. And she also hid the fact that she was fascinated with him, as well. The way he positioned himself, the authoritative gaze she felt throughout her soul when he scrutinized her every move. It left her knees weak and her hands trembling and she had to apologize twice for dropping the spoon.
“He still goin’?” Noah questioned, his dark, somber eyes casting a haunted look at Teaspoon.
Going? He was leaving already? But she’d just arrived here and she didn’t want him to go, not until she had an opportunity at romance with this man. Wouldn’t he at least grant her that much?
“‘Fraid so, son, there’s no talkin’ him out of it. God knows, we all tried.”
Ike appeared ready to cry at any minute and Lou sniffed lightly. Kid looked agitated and uneasy and Cody just sat there, a disheartened appearance spoiling his good looks. Noah cast his eyes downward and shook his head sadly. Rachel believed that even Teaspoon looked discouraged and she didn’t like that at all. They’d hardly met but she considered these people to be the most despondent bunch she’d seen since Lincoln. Were they that close to one another? Rachel had seen others be concerned for each other such as this only on rare occasions. And she wondered why the one they called Jimmy felt the necessity to run from this good fortune.
After the riders bedded down for the night, Teaspoon and Rachel sat on the porch forging idle conversation about them all. He told her all about Emma and how much the boys had admired her, especially Jimmy. He seemed to have the strongest bond with her and Teaspoon suspected that it was because he’d lost his own mother years ago without sensing that connection. The more he spoke about the peculiar, young man, the more Rachel wanted to hear. She hoped to learn all she could about him... who he was, what he liked and didn’t, anything at all.
“What’s causin’ him to leave, if he was so happy here?” she asked, hoping the older man wouldn’t catch on to her actual reasons for being so curious about Jimmy Hickok.
“I thought it had more to do with Emma bein’ gone, but, now I can’t rightfully say what’s botherin’ ‘im. Did he say anything to ya earlier?”
“No,” she replied, “Not a word, just stared. Is he always like this?”
Teaspoon shook his head, shrugged his shoulders and stood up, planning to bid her goodnight. One more question from Rachel stopped him in his tracks.
“Do you think it’d help if I talked to ‘im?”
Teaspoon turned back to her, a half-grin on his face. He suspected the nature of her interest but, nevertheless, if it served Jimmy to realize that life adjusted sometimes in different ways, he’d be grateful.
“Can’t say as it’d hurt nuthin’, Rachel, but I warn you, he ain’t up to talkin’ right now. The boy’s in his own world.”
Rachel shifted from her chair and wandered over to the barn, standing at the door and peering inward. She couldn’t see anyone. Maybe he’d gone to bed along with the others.
“Lookin’ for somethin’?” Jimmy said, his voice alarming her.
Rachel whirled on him, agitation welling up inside her.
“Don’t do that!” She shrieked.
Jimmy snickered and maneuvered past her, listening to the sound of her footsteps trailing him into the barn. He dismissed her and appeared uninterested as she stood beside him. Her petite hand stretched out and stroked the horse’s mane, a sparkling look in her eyes.
“My daddy owned about forty of these when I was twelve and I named every one of ‘em. This one looks like one I called Butterfly.”
He spoke without looking up. He didn’t count on himself to look at Rachel face-to-face. God knew what he’d see, or what she’d see in his own eyes.
“Better check again,” he remarked, smirking.
She peeked underneath the palomino and laughed heartily, her light, bouncy curls descending onto her face as she did so. He smiled, then, a bright, uplifting smile that touched her all the way to her heart. She sensed quickly that he wasn’t like anyone she’d ever met nor would ever happen to again and she wanted more from him.
“Can I ask you somethin’?” he questioned, casting a sideways glance at her, “What’re you doin’ in here?”
Rachel reflected on her answer for a long time, selecting her words thoughtfully. She hadn’t confessed to anyone since her arrival about what had taken place before now and she wasn’t sure she could confide in this man yet.
“Could ask you the same thing,” she retorted, motioning to the packed belongings at his feet.
“A question with a question, avoiding the subject as usual,” he grumbled, “Don’t any of you women know how to give just a simple answer anymore? Damn!”
At once, she was furious without knowing why. It was a harmless statement, yet, she felt the urge to protect herself. Jimmy realized he’d spoken too harshly to her but she nettled on his nerves and he didn’t own very many tonight. He hadn’t aimed to insult her, only hoped for her to go away and let him resume his tasks. Tomorrow would fall too soon and he had a long ride ahead of him.
“Look, I don’t know what’s gotten into you and honestly I don’t care. I also don’t understand why you’re willin’ to leave these people when they clearly care so much for ya.
Until you’re around those who don’t, you don’t appreciate it, not like I do.”
Jimmy let her words settle in and he heeded her underlying statement. Wherever this lady came from, it was a far cry from a suitable life. He felt sadness for her and wondered what had grieved her in the past. Had she been so mistreated? Did she sincerely believe that he had it made where he was?
“Look, Miss Dunne,” he began, only to be interrupted.
“It’s Rachel,” she corrected, her eyes alive with emotion.
“Rachel,” Jimmy repeated, “You can call me Jimmy but not for long. My mind’s made up and I’m goin’ and while I thank you for tryin’, you can go back and tell Teaspoon to lay off!”
Rachel cringed visibly at his raised voice and she ambled back into the bale of hay, forgetting her balance and toppling over backwards. Jimmy hurried over to her and lifted her to an upright position, even though he contemplated otherwise.
“You okay?” he laughed, “I’m sorry, Rachel, I didn’t mean to yell atcha. It’s just that everybody’s tryin’ to talk me outta this except for Buck. He told me that he’d do the same if he could. I’m just tired of havin’ to explain that I don’t wanna be here and I just wanna go. And if it’s all the same to you, I gotta be gittin’ done here. It’s a long ride to Lincoln.”
She gasped in paralyzing fear when Jimmy mentioned Lincoln, agonized that the same fate or worse could be handed to such an enchanting man. She didn’t wish to see him damaged in any way.
“Please, don’t,” she whispered, her breath falling short, “Jimmy, please, don’t go to Lincoln. You’ll never make it out...alive.”
He stood towering over her, his eyes searching hers for what reason impelled her to be so afraid of that town. Is that what it was? Whatever evil incident had happened to Rachel must’ve taken place there. For the second time, he felt compassion for her.
Rachel was so beautiful as she stood before him, her low-cut blouse yielding an illusion he’d only dreamt of. Her wispy curls framed her delicate face and he had the sudden impulse to kiss her full, parted lips. Those eyes, wild and all-too-knowing, invited him to reach for her, hold her close to him, stealing what he yearned for the minute he had laid eyes on her.
She forgot what it was that she needed to say when she saw the flaming hunger in his dark eyes. It swept through her complete being, seizing her, arresting the very beat of her heart. Her captivation of this arrogant man was so separate from her normal behavior that it pained her, surprised her and inflamed her all over. A fever she hadn’t felt in so long enveloped her insides, branding her body with its intense heat. She would’ve begged for his kiss, then, would’ve collapsed to her knees and appealed to him for only a small taste of his love. However, she wouldn’t allow Jimmy to know what an engulfing and dominant hold he wielded over her. She’d been through one too many heartaches to explore yet another. Who could say that he wouldn’t ride out of here come morning and never look back, never return.
“Jimmy...”
It was too late. The tone of her voice as she spoke his name so softly constricted his self-
control beyond its already cracking reserve. Without words, he leaned his head forward and crushed her vulnerable lips beneath his, half expecting a sharp, forceful crack as she slapped his face...hard. It never came.
Rachel lost all balanced judgement, lost all resolution the moment his tantalizing lips assaulted hers. She felt the stir of abandon kindling within her and she surrendered to his shameless invasion of her mouth. Brazenly, she flung her arm around his waist, savoring the excitement of pure, unadulterated lust that she was sampling. It was an all-consuming response, preparing to take them both to elevations of phenomenal gratification.
Jimmy pressed his aroused body closer until there wasn’t anything but their clothes between them. His tongue sought entrance into her honeyed mouth, gained it and indulged the taste of her tongue as he explored. His hands were planted firmly at the small of her back and now they crept lower, caressed and squeezed her ample bottom, pulling her even closer to him. His sexual frustration had played upon his wits as of late and now it rocked out of control, consuming his ever-hardening flesh.
She felt his hardness against her thigh, tasted the impatience in his kisses and craved still more. The tightening in her stomach made her reel, swaying slightly as he lifted her and deposited her gently down into the soft, sweet-smelling hay. She had hoped for this moment since they’d met only hours beforehand. Already, Rachel felt as if she were moving way too fast, concerned that he might believe that she gave freely of herself to any man who asked. Just the opposite, she’d only been with two men and she’d married them both. In spite of her reputation in Lincoln, Rachel was not a wench, nor did she conduct herself as one. Whereas she’d consummated every way under the sun to make love with her second husband before he was killed, she prided herself on her discipline...until now.
Jimmy lay beside this delicate, yet seductive and beguiling woman and marveled at the fact that she fancied someone like him? With her grace and charming disposition, she could have her pick of any one man from any one country. Why, then, did she choose to fall for a gunfighter, a man who’s home was wherever he made it, someone who had no future in this world at all. Maybe, but not a comfortable one. He could only watch in disbelief as her arms reached for him, silently inviting him to fulfill what he’d offered. Why?
Jimmy stopped cold, jerking away from her and rising to a seated position, his back to her baffled gaze. Anger and heartache caused him to do this and he wouldn’t involve Rachel in his upside-down life. He held too many passions for her to break her heart. For he knew that even if they went through with their intimacy, he would still ride out first thing in the morning.
“Rachel, I want you to go now,” he commanded, his voice trembling and his intellect unstable, “I mean it, go!”
She arose as well, her eyes overflowing with hot, fresh tears. What brought this on? Didn’t he want her? She knew it had only been hours since they’d met, but that made no difference to her at all. Jimmy Hickok was the one man she wanted and she didn’t fall this readily for no reason except that she loved him now and loved him exquisitely. Never had she felt such intense and emotional forces with anyone besides Jimmy. And she resolved to go to any lengths to be claimed eternal by James Butler Hickok. Anything!
Rachel bolted from the barn, a stifled cry escaping her throat, following her into the night. Jimmy felt repulsed by what he’d done to her, provoking her, flirting with her feelings that way. He sensed that Rachel’s affections for him were trustworthy and he had the same difficulty. Although they’d met only this evening, Jimmy accepted that he had fallen hopelessly in love with her and that in itself posed as a problem for them both. Now, he didn’t know whether she cared for him to stay or vanish without so much as a trace. He’d antagonized her horribly and no grounds would excuse his ruthless behavior.
“Aw, hell!” he roared violently, smashing his clenched fist into the wall.
It would be a long, sultry, sleepless night for them both. Jimmy lay wide-awake, ashamed that he’d reacted so callously in such a beautiful and sacred moment. But, one question still overwhelmed him beyond belief. Why did a lady like Rachel Dunne want to touch a man like Jimmy Hickok? Didn’t she know what that would call for? Didn’t she realize what would be expected of her and how their lives would always change? Jimmy didn’t know the answers but he was determined to find out.
CHAPTER TWO
“Rachel!” Lou called a third time.
“What is it, Lou, I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly, hoping there would be no question about her conduct as of late.
Rachel lowered her eyes, embarrassed of what she’d been remembering. Jimmy hadn’t spoken more than two sentences to her and that was because fate shoved his hand. She knew that he must forge politeness in Teaspoon’s presence or there would be trouble. That was the last thing they both needed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’,” she fibbed, hoping to assure her new companion, “Just day dreamin’ is all. You got somethin’ on your mind, Lou?”
Lou nodded, kicking at the dust and fumbling with the clothes pins she held as Rachel hung laundry out in the cool, morning breeze. Rachel had known for some time that Lou was actually Louise but she kept the girl’s secret once she discovered that Louise could lose her job. And Rachel also suspected a hidden relationship between Louise and Kid.
“C’mon, let’s sit down,” Rachel said, smiling as she thought of her own relationship to Jimmy and what had taken place between them that night over three weeks ago.
“Gotta tell you somethin’, Rachel, but it hasta stay our secret, okay?”
Rachel nodded.
“I ain’t a boy, I’m a woman,” she divulged in a faint whisper, looking around to see if
anyone heard her confirmation.
“I know,” Rachel admitted, laughing aloud at the upset expression on Louise’s face, “Louise, I’ve known for a long time now that you were a woman, just didn’t see any need to pry.”
“Thanks for not sayin’ anything to Teaspoon, he’d fire me if he found out,” said Louise, sighing deeply.
“I don’t think so,” Rachel objected, “Teaspoon’s a good man, he’d understand.”
Lou shook her head frantically, sending Rachel a warning scowl.
“No, he won’t, Rachel, and don’t tell ‘im,” she instructed, “I’m tryin’ to get my brother and sister out of an orphanage and bring them here to live with me. Please, don’t ruin it for us.”
Rachel promised to keep Louise’s secret and considered exposing one of her own. She knew that she could trust Louise but her instincts advised her to keep quiet about it until she reasoned if she should verify their romance or not.
Jimmy noticed the two from the corral, wanting desperately to hear what Rachel said to Lou. He hoped that it wasn’t about him. He didn’t want anyone to know about how he’d destroyed everything between them both and likely the best prospect he’d ever have at solid happiness. Jimmy felt outright sorry of his actions toward her weeks earlier. He’d like to have the courage to walk up to Rachel and apologize, begging for another opportunity to prove to her that he was indeed worthy of her love. But, all he could do was dodge her presence as much as allowed without bringing attention to himself and her.
Rachel’s heart raced when she noticed Jimmy looking at her from the corral. She hoped he’d walk over to her, saying anything to her and kiss her perfectly as he did on that hot, sinful night they’d first met. She could welcome any action from him except for his harsh frown and his repressed words. She deserved so much more than this punishment and soon felt anger replace her composed, calm outlook. How dare he act as if there was nothing at all between them?
Louise repeated Rachel’s seeking gaze to see Jimmy leading Kid’s horse, Katie, into the barn for a brush down. She couldn’t help but note that something had passed between them and she wanted Rachel to confide in her about it. Maybe she could help. Maybe she didn’t trust Louise not to tell Kid. Louise knew better because Kid would let the classified information slip somehow.
“Rachel, can I ask you somethin’?” Louise implored, interfering with her thoughts, “Is there somethin’ you wanna tell me? ‘Cuz I promise ya, I won’t say nothin’, just like you wouldn’t say nuthin ‘bout my bein’ a girl.”
Rachel studied Louise for a few moments and then agreed that she would unburden her heart from her feelings about Jimmy.
She recounted the events of the night in the barn, neglecting certain details so that she wouldn’t seem so indecent. She also let Louise know that she prepared to do something about it, only she didn’t know what that would be just yet.
“So, there it is, out in the open,” Rachel announced, fighting back tears, “Just wish I knew if he felt the same. I think he does, but when I get nuthin’ back except for that distant look in his eye and not one word from him, I don’t think I should bother.”
“Rachel, let me letcha in on a little detail, if I may.”
Rachel nodded, willing to get any advice, be it good or bad.
“I’ve known Jimmy a long time, now, and I know that he can be hard,” she began.
Rachel thought of those words in a separate light, recalling full well how hard Jimmy could be. She’d experienced that sensational incident first-hand.
“And I’m tellin’ ya that he ain’t ignorin’ you because he don’t wantcha around, Rachel, he’s doin’ it because he does.”
Louise’s words sank in. Could that be true? Was he resisting her because it was himself that he didn’t trust to be alone with her? Did he want her so badly that he would neglect her in order to remain levelheaded in her presence and everyone else’s?
Without delay, Rachel stood, wringing her hands and staring after Jimmy who was now hidden from view. Louise also arose from her seat and strode toward the bunkhouse, resigning Rachel to decide her own fate.
“Jimmy?”
No answer.
“Jimmy!”
Eventually, he turned, instantly aggressive. His eyes smoldered with so many emotions that Rachel had difficulty distinguishing which ones were there.
“You want somethin’ or ya just like the sound of my name?” he retaliated, glaring at her resentfully.
Why the hell didn’t she just let it be? Why did she have to torture him like that, strolling in here dressed that way. His hungry eyes devoured the low-cut blouse she’d worn on the same night they almost...dammit! Jimmy yearned for her so severely that he nearly gave up and let Rachel have her way and damn the consequences!
Rachel hesitated, casting her gaze in a different direction, the words she’d rehearsed over and over on her way to the barn had scattered. All she had now were bits and pieces. His spiteful tone of voice didn’t help the situation any.
“I...we need to...” she sighed, afraid of saying the wrong thing, “I think we outta talk at least.”
Jimmy had already turned his back on her and resumed his chore of brushing the horse down, mustering a feeble attempt at defying her at any cost. He didn’t rely on his willpower when he was alone with her, didn’t trust what he might say or do at any given moment and he didn’t want a replay of the other night. Not today.
“What about, Rachel?” he stated firmly.
His inattention to their problem consumed her patience until she still wondered if she had any left. And she was growing absolutely exhausted of his tauntings, all the while headstrong in her struggle to set things straight with this challenging man she so desired.
“What about?” she exclaimed through clenched teeth, her outrage increasing, “You know full well what about and I’m not gonna play games with you anymore.”
He shrugged, a hint of sarcasm rising in his hypnotic voice. Rachel fought the urge to slap that look off his face soundly and walk away, forgetting the entire incident.
“Didn’t recall askin’ ya to,” he remarked sharply, “Now, if ya don’t mind, I’m kinda busy. Excuse me.”
That was the final straw.
“Damn you, James Hickok, you started this and the least you can do is finish it or stop tormentin’ me! I mean it, when you walk outta here, I give up. But I give you fair warnin’ right now. The last man that walked out on me regretted it!”
Jimmy responded by grasping her arms firmly, squeezing them tightly, his fingers digging into her flesh. She tried to bolt but he held her still, shaking her slightly when she twisted.
“If you’re threatenin’ me, Rachel, it won’t work. I’ve had dealin’s with the likes of you all my life and all you do is say one thing and do another and I’m not fallin’ for it. If you’re tryin’ to provoke me, go ahead, I’ve been dealt a lot worse. It won’t happen here, not with you and not ever. And I don’t care how many men you’ve been with!”
Rachel freed her right arm and her hand came across his face in a fierce blow, hard enough to knock him virtually off his feet. Jimmy massaged his stinging cheek, a dazed look on his face. He imagined he had that coming after labeling Rachel as if she were a woman of low standards, although in his heart, he knew otherwise.
Fat, salty tears fell down her lovely, flushed cheeks and her chest heaved with sobs. She snatched her left arm clear of his hold and ran past him, running swiftly as he called out to her.
“Rachel!” he shouted, “Rachel, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!”
Jimmy dropped his head and exhaled deeply, a deafening roar in his head. What in God’s name possessed him to say such a vicious and crude statement to Rachel? Now he’d done it! If he’d had even the slightest chance with her, he most assuredly did not any longer.
Lou materialized, her eyes wide with fury. She stood before him, arms crossed and a rage brewing inside of her.
“Didn’t mean to overhear,” she explained with a strong hint of contempt edging her voice, “Was on my way out on a run and saw Rachel runnin’ out. What’d you say to her, Jimmy? Why was she cryin’?”
“Stay out of this, Lou, you got no right!” he yelled harshly, frustration welling up inside of him at his treatment of Rachel.
“Don’t tell me I ain’t got a right to defend Rachel! She’s my friend and a very good one, I might add. And you hurt her, Jimmy, for no reason at all and you know that as well as I do!”
He shoved past Lou and steered to the bunkhouse but Lou followed closely on his heels, desperate on receiving an answer from him.
“You and I’ve known each other a long time, Jimmy Hickock, and this is the first time I’d say you got no brains at all! You outta be ashamed for the way you’re treatin’ her and...”
Jimmy stopped and spun on Lou, a dangerous glint in his eye. Lou held her ground solidly, waiting to see what resulted next.
“Lou, if you were a man, I’d call you out for sayin’ that. I’m tellin’ ya one more time to stay out of it!” he bellowed, “I mean it!”
With that last sentence, he had grabbed her by the shoulders in order to prove his point. In that moment, Kid emerged from the door smiling. His face fell as his hand drew his six-gun and leveled it at Jimmy.
“Take your hands off her! Now!”
Jimmy didn’t move, only stared at him as if he’d gone insane. Kid meant business and cocked the hammer, reaching them in three long steps.
“Don’t give me a reason to do somethin’ I got half a mind to anyway,” he spoke calmly and shoved Lou behind him when Jimmy finally released her.
“I got no quarrel with you, Kid, just a discussion between me and Lou,” he explained, giving a tilt of his head, “It got a little outta hand, that’s all.”
Kid dropped the hammer but kept his revolver directed precisely at Jimmy’s chest. Buck walked out and called to Kid.
“Kid! Let it go!” he shouted, alarm intensifying his voice.
Kid holstered his firearm and stood eye to eye with Hickock as his gaze narrowed. He spoke barely above a whisper, yet his voice was strong and intimidating.
“I better not ever see you lay another hand on her, you got that? ‘Cuz if I do, you won’t see the light of day again.”
Jimmy stared after them as they stomped back toward the house, brooding on how this day had begun so peacefully and ended up being one of the worst. First, Rachel and now this. He turned and mounted his horse, hell-bent on leaving for good. It was painfully clear to him that he’d recently stirred up nothing but trouble wherever he went. It would be best if he disappeared permanently.
“Ha!” he screamed, alerting Teaspoon to hurry out behind him.
Noah and Cody were riding in and they almost collided with Jimmy, each tugging the reins swiftly to avoid an accident.
“Jimmy!” Noah called out, confused by Jimmy’s performance, “Where ya headed in such a hurry?”
“What the hell? Jimmy, come back!” Cody yelled, only to have his calls fall on deaf ears.
“Teaspoon? What’s goin’ on?” Noah asked, looking puzzled as Rachel ran over.
He could tell she’d been crying. But for the likes of Hickock? Surely, not those two.
“Ike! Saddle a horse for me, willya? Ya’ll don’t worry none, I’ll find him soon enough. He ain’t gone far.”
Teaspoon mounted the paint horse and rode off in his search. He couldn’t understand what brought this on. It wasn’t just about Emma’s departure anymore, it was much more than
that and Teaspoon knew it. Jimmy’s hostility had escalated since Rachel’s arrival at the station.
That was it. Rachel. He suspected that she would find him amusing, being he was a reputed gunfighter and what with the stronghold he possessed over women. But Teaspoon didn’t understand why he felt the need to run from it unless Jimmy had said or done something in haste. No matter, he would find Hickok and force him to explain his irresponsible actions.
CHAPTER THREE
He was pleased with the dark, moonless night, making it difficult to be tracked. At dawn, however, he would ride on and take the path of least resistance until he reached a place he was satisfied with. Jimmy sat beside crackling blaze, memories and regrets flooding his overburdened mind. A sadness, unlike the despair he felt at losing Emma, hovered over his heart, threatening to break it in half. He regarded surrendering to it.
Hateful as his actions were, Jimmy hung his head in disgrace even though no one was around for miles. Never in a million years did he imagine treating another person in the manner in which he treated Rachel. His only explanation was fear. Jimmy was scared of her and for her in ways he couldn’t quite comprehend.
The loud snap of a breaking branch brought Hickok instantly to his feet, six-gun drawn before he stood. A shadow loomed beside an oak tree, its hands raised in submission. Jimmy lowered his arm and dropped his hands at his sides.
“C’mon out, Teaspoon,” he called out.
“Jimmy,” Teaspoon uttered, easing toward him, “Ya shoulda known I’d track you down. What I wanna know is why you ran off like that.”
Jimmy holstered the pistol, sat beside the fire again and motioned for Teaspoon to do the same. The old man had been furious with him for leaving but, now, he just wanted answers. He identified with the sound of defeat and Jimmy had resigned to that defeat. He watched the young man shrug, a deep breath exhaling from inside him.
“Son, I’ve been wrong aboutcha,” Teaspoon admitted, “I always saw ya as somebody who could take control of any given situation and now I find out that ain’t the truth. What I’m tryin’ to say is, Hickock, ya ain’t made of iron, I know that. But, sometimes, ya gotta stick around and take what’s comin’ to ya, even if it’s all a misunderstanding.”
“I tried that, Teaspoon, it just ain’t workin’!” Jimmy yelled, apprehension filling his voice, “I don’t belong here, I know that now! Wasn’t sure before, but I am now. Just go back and tell ‘em you quit lookin’.”
The older man shook his head and poked at the fire thoughtlessly. He worried about
Jimmy, worried that he would reduce to the kind of person who ran from everything he couldn’t persuade.
“Cain’t do that, Jimmy, they’d see right through it and you know that ‘swell’s me. Besides, Rachel’s awful worried thatcha ain’t comin’ back.”
He started visibly at the mere mention of her name, a familiar feeling stealing through his heart. He hoped that Teaspoon wouldn’t reprimand him too harshly for having considered someone older than he and the fact that she was the housekeeper, too. Instead, Teaspoon grinned and reclined back against the oak, folding his arms over his chest.
“Rachel?”
“Yep,” Teaspoon responded, pulling his hat down over his eyes.
“You ain’t mad?”
“Nope.”
Jimmy absentmindedly scratched his head, puzzled at Teaspoon’s reaction. He believed he’d certainly be scolded but all the old man seemed to fancy was sleep.
“How come, Teaspoon? You said...”
“Forgit whatever I said,” he interrupted, leaning forward to face him, “Jimmy, let me give you some sound advice. Bein’s I happen to have run across a few ladies in my time, marryin’ five of ‘em...”
“Six.”
“What?”
“Six,” Jimmy countered, “Ya married six of ‘em, ‘member?”
“Very observant,” he confirmed, “As I was sayin’, if ya care about her, ya cain’t worry about what others think, say or do to ruin it. Ya gotta take your chances and just hope for the best. There ain’t no other way.”
“But, no one else ruined it but me,” he contradicted, “I was a damned fool and said some foolish things, but I didn’t mean ‘em. Teaspoon, I dunno why I said somethin’ to hurt her when that was the last thing I wanted to do!”
“I know, son, I know. Sometimes love does things to a person, makes ‘em say things they later regret,” he advised, “But they’re words and they can hurt just like that gun yer carryin’. The only difference is, you can take ‘em back.”
Jimmy disagreed, convinced that his spoken words would not ever be forgiven. Teaspoon appeared unconcerned and pulled his hat back down again.
“Trust me, son, I know what I’m talkin’ about.”
He reviewed that maybe Teaspoon was right. Maybe Rachel could find it in her heart to forgive him for being so stupid, childish and downright petrified. He’d never sensed such an extreme feeling for a female and it triggered him to lash out in fear, driving away the one thing he wished to chase further.
Jimmy listened to the serenity of the night, an owl far away, the slight breeze rustling the
leaves near them. For the first time in years, he felt perfectly at peace. Tomorrow, he swore, he would beg Rachel’s mercy in any way she asked it. He would crawl to her on his hands and knees just to be given the privilege to right all of his wrongs, earn her trust again and possibly reveal to her so many of his deepest, darkest fears. Then, he prayed she could accept his complex nature and that he would rather die than humiliate her in that way again. And he wasn’t one to make false promises.
A distant knock came at her door, rousing Rachel from her solid sleep before daybreak. She wondered who it could be at this hour of the morning. Jimmy? Hurriedly, she wrapped a robe about her and unlocked the door, squinting sleepily at the shadowed figure waiting there.
Jimmy’s heart leapt to his throat at the sight of Rachel. Her eyes were still filled with sleep, half-closed, her untamed curls stood apart from her rosy cheeks. He couldn’t help but notice how the filmy material clung to her figure, enhancing each adequate curve. He longed to brush the hair back from her eyes and kiss her lips fiercely once more.
“Rachel,” he blundered, eyes cast downward, “Sorry to wake you, didn’t wanna wait to see ya. These are for you.”
Rachel reached for the wild flowers, amazement and disbelief glowing brightly on her face. She gestured for him to come inside and take a seat, placing the flowers into some water. She turned to him, almost giggling aloud at the image of the humble, little boy who sat before her. He played with his hat, biting his lip anxiously.
“Jimmy, why’d you come here? What is it you want from me?” she spoke barely above a breath, as if they could be overheard.
“Teaspoon knows about everything,” he revealed, “Well, not all of it. He talked me into comin’ back and squarin’ things with you once and for all. If you don’t want me here, Rachel, I’ll go.”
She sat across from him, struggling for answers to her endless questions. How had this affair gotten so out of hand? All she wanted was what she’d established with Jimmy. Why did he seem so threatened and terrified of it?
“I never said that, Jimmy,” she replied, comforting him, “No one ever said for you to leave, you took that upon yourself. I wanted you to stay and let’s try to work things out. I don’t, for the life of me know why you feel like you have to run from everything.”
He shrugged, still fooling with his hat, avoiding her pleading stare. Jimmy didn’t know how to respond to her, sure that if he said anything at all, it would be wrong. So he didn’t trust himself to speak.
“Jimmy, look at me, please,” she coaxed, “We can’t get through this until you face whatever it is that’s holdin’ you back. And you can’t do anything by starin’ at that damn hat! Put it down and look at me.”
He obliged with his head cocked sideways, glancing at Rachel from the corner of his eye from time to time. She wasn’t content. Standing, she walked over to him and hauled him to his feet, placing a hand affectionately on each side of his face and demanding his eyes to meet hers.
“Now, listen,” she said, her voice soft and soothing, “I got a past, too. Not the one you’re thinkin’ but one that was just as bad. What I don’t understand is why you still choose to live in yours. You gotta leave it behind, Jimmy, ‘cuz that’s where it belongs. If you can’t do that, then, I see no reason for us to go on. Do you?”
Jimmy shifted, grabbed her wrists and attempted to push them away. He didn’t like feeling caged and this time he sensed he was helplessly trapped. He wasn’t used to someone saying such sensitive things to him and he also didn’t like the fact that she proceeded to know what his weaknesses were. They belonged to him and no one else. Jimmy resented Rachel for trying to chip through that wall he’d worked so long and hard to build. A wall which kept everyone else out and his heart shielded safely inside.
“Don’t do that, Rachel,” he chastised, a ghastly look distorting his features.
“Don’t do what, Jimmy, make you face the cold, hard truth? You gotta stop runnin’ from it and fight it,” she proclaimed, provoked by his expressions, “For you and me, you gotta step out from behind that wall and take my hand!”
That was enough! Jimmy took a huge step backward, knocking over a lamp as he did so. This woman knew everything about him and he was altogether terrified! His own sister, Salinda, couldn’t even come that close to unraveling the reasons behind his behavior and yet Rachel could look into his eyes and see his true identity. It intimidated him beyond belief.
“No!” he roared, “I don’t wanna start that, Rachel, that ain’t why I came here, so back off! I mean it, let it go!”
Rachel never flinched, her honest gaze looking through the tough pretense and again seeing that which reminded her of a scared little boy. A calm understanding expanded over her and she stepped toward him, resolved on bringing reality into his hellish creation.
“Jimmy...”
“That’s it, I’m leavin’!” he warned, focusing on the door and swinging back to her, “I ain’t gonna stand here and take this! I came here to ‘pologize and try to make this thing work but I don’t like what you’re sayin’ and I ain’t gonna have no part in it!”
She came after him, persevering in pushing the issue further and intent on hearing the truth from his lips alone. Rachel knew that she wouldn’t stop until he acknowledged to her that he was just afraid. Only then would they be able to put their love back together again.
“Well, that’s what I thought you’d say, things get complicated and you head for the nearest exit,” she shouted, steadfast on getting through to him, “What demons are you hangin’ onto, Jimmy, why won’t you give ‘em up and give us a fighting chance? Don’t you want to?”
“You don’t need me, Rachel, I got too many ghosts, too many shadows,” he replied, a cold fear spreading throughout his body, “And, one day, they’ll take me down and I don’t want you goin’ down with me! I care too much about you to do that to ya. If you don’t understand, then, I’m sorry.”
Jimmy flung the door wide, taking a long stride across the porch, hearing her pace behind him. This time, he whirled on her, raging fury taking its toll on his already fragile reserve. Rachel stopped in her tracks, realizing she’d cornered him and he would now fight her every step of the way until he no longer felt endangered.
“I said to let me be! I wish I’d never laid eyes on you, Rachel Dunne, all you want is to break me and it ain’t gonna happen! When are you gonna get it through your head, I don’t want you, never have and I never will! So go back to wherever it is you came from and stop playing these games with me! Go!”
“I can’t!” she screamed, tasting salty tears on her lips as she recalled the horror of her past, “Can’t and won’t! You don’t even care what happened to me, do you? Well, ya might as well know I can never go back to Lincoln. If I did, they’d probably kill me this time or...worse.”
Jimmy listened as Rachel exposed her secret story to him, his heart crumbling as she cried. He longed hopelessly to take this woman into his arms, into his soul, and keep her sheltered and protected from all inhumanity. She infuriated him to the brink of madness, yet, she brought his spirit to life again after lying motionless for years.
“So don’t you dare tell me about ghosts, James Hickock, I know all about it,” she went on, “The more you run, the closer they get. But if you stand and face them, they’ll eventually go away. That’s all I’m askin’ you to do.”
Jimmy stood before her in one step, his own tears threatening to spill forth, and he fought his weakness. What on earth had this fine woman been through? How could he have been so selfish and disrespectful of her emotions, unknowing that she had endured almost the same hell as he?
“Rachel, I’m sorry, I didn’t know...”
“Well, now you do,” she interrupted, “Whatever you decide now is up to you.”
He pulled her to him, gripping her shoulders securely as she struggled, her tears falling harder. A distinct moan escaped her and he wrapped both arms about her in a powerful embrace. Rachel tensed, then succumbed, allowing herself to be held in the arms of the one man she truly loved.
“Rachel, I...” he halted, searching for the words, “I don’t wanna fight anymore.”
She whimpered, her head settling against his broad chest. Those were the simple words she’d been aching to hear, yet, she knew how complicated it was for Jimmy to say them. Contentment and joy slowly maneuvered its way into her heart, draining her sorrow, sending it away for eternity. Rachel smiled, her eyes advancing upward to meet with his, charmed with what she saw in them. Peace. At last.
Jimmy resigned himself to her purpose and realized a shift in his own heart, a long-awaited deliverance from the torment of years ago. It was as if a dam burst inside him, delivering a mild harmony throughout his barren soul, plunging into his heart, washing away the hostility and foreboding dread he had survived for a lifetime. He’d been so thirsty, not knowing that his own depth had secretly yearned for this tranquility. Rachel had escaped her prison. Now, she had helped to free him from his own.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, his breath rustling through her hair, “I didn’t know...”
“I know,” she intercepted, focusing on his nearness, his warmth, “I...”
She never completed her sentence. His head tilted, suffocating her with the invasion of his commanding, conquering kiss. Her fingers traced through his hair, entangling it around them, feeling him stretching his provocative body near her, crushing against her. Jimmy’s voice rumbled deep within his throat as he savored her sweet offerings once again. He expected he’d lost that forever and it compelled him to lift Rachel from the ground, bringing her back inside, their affectionate kisses unbreaking.
Once inside, he moved to carry her into the bedroom, falling instead upon the sofa. His crushing weight, coupled with her expectation of what was sure to unfold, left Rachel breathless and light-headed. She hungered for his touch, ached to feel his rugged, masculine body pressed intimately within her own. How she longed for the reckless, untamed rapture only he could generate within her and only he could elicit such responses.
Jimmy reacted to her shameless abandon, sensing his body stiffening, hardening and he feigned control as he exposed Rachel’s bare skin to his touch, his lips not once forsaking hers. He yearned to advance this experience although he’d acquired no previous knowledge as to what he should do next. It mattered not, for his own enthusiasm led him through and his body responded voluntarily with an opinion of its own. He didn’t want Rachel to know that he hadn’t carried on this far before.
“Jimmy?” she breathed, her mind clouded with this fantastic enchantment, “You’re shakin’! What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’, Rachel, I’m all right,” he evaded, fumbling with the remains of her clothing, his eyes avoiding hers.
Her delicate hand stroked his jaw line, plunging seductively to his vulnerable neck. He drew a distinct breath and met her gaze, his eyes like ice on fire. The reality slapped Rachel in the face firmly.
“Oh, God, Jimmy, you’ve never done this before, have you?” she asked, her eyes wide with shock.
Rachel couldn’t believe that she’d been so selfish and insensitive. His innocence stared her in the face and she realized that his inexperience with women had been the backbone for most of his behavior toward her. He was lost and he didn’t know what to do as a result.
Dammit! Repeatedly, she’d seen right through him. Jimmy didn’t know how to retaliate and he rose up, leaning back to a sitting position, at once concerned that he was naked before her as he’d never been in the eyes of any one woman. Rachel sat up also, an attentive look furrowing her brow.
“It’s okay, we don’t have to...”
“No, I...,” he whispered, his heart hammering in his ears, “I want you, Rachel. I just don’t know too much about...you.”
Rachel leaned forward, kissing his face gently to inspire him. Jimmy nudged her back onto the sofa and within moments, his feverish skin collapsed sexually against hers in an all-consuming, impassioned embrace. She felt his sturdy, strong muscles as he moved sensuously above her. An electrifying current swept through her entire being when she sensed his rock-solid erection between them.
Jimmy grasped her shoulders, moving upward, his stiff appendage invading the dampness between Rachel’s thighs. He took his time, entered slightly, giving her body a moment to become familiar with his own. Without ever having been told, he knew that his build was more unusual than most, much larger in fact and he didn’t want to hurt her.
Rachel bit her lip so that she wouldn’t cry aloud when she felt him impale her. She had witnessed his expanding muscle before he entered her. It was thick, enormous and he would surely to tear her apart. She hadn’t any indication that he would be that well endowed and it frightened her and thrilled her at once.
Time seemed to stand perfectly still, providing them to relish this magnificent, remarkable event which sealed their undying love. He thrust gently, deeper, nearly abandoning his constraint as her warmth encircled him and enveloped every inch of him. He plunged himself further inside of her, his movements accelerating, his breath quickening. Jimmy didn’t in the least conceive that it would be like this, so arousing and lustful, so consuming. With every stroke, he felt his hold onto stability gradually decrease, vanquishing his need to withstand such an erotic spirit inside his soul. He clenched his teeth and willed himself to wait just a bit longer.
Rachel’s arms were thrown around Jimmy, her legs wrapping firmly around his legs, commanding him deeper still. She’d never known anything like it. While his increasing size filled her with excruciating pain, the exquisite and animalistic gratification blocked everything else. She saw rather than felt herself nearing that heavenly fulfillment, rising higher to the galaxies, her cries sharp and piercing in the small room. A radiant, searing bolt of lightning surged through her body, seizing it and weaving through her insides until Rachel fought for air. A luxurious ecstasy like no other she had achieved spread through her limbs like wildfire, branding her feverish skin. She felt the rapturous, intoxicating climax shatter into a thousand pieces, falling around her.
Jimmy sensed her release surround his broadening flesh, sheathing and caressing it with her silken contractions. An extreme urgency had built savagely within him, provoking him to drive deeper, harder and faster inside of Rachel. His force came brutal and inhuman, a fierce tempest rocked him to the core. A heightening excitement like no other he’d ever sustained twisted in his abdomen, a white-hot fire descending lower, erupting in ecstasy. Lunging forward, his head fell back and he cried out, shouting her name over and over, as wave after never ending wave of euphoric release vibrated throughout him. Would it ever stop? No and he didn’t want it to, wanting this new and unexplored feeling to last a lifetime.
Jimmy fell weak and defenseless as the last of his seed spread hotly through her. Rachel looked up at him and smiled faintly, her eyes wild and her heart now awakening. They both lay spent in each other’s arms, breathless with their primitive efforts. A thin sheen of sweat coated their heaving bodies as they lay together, not wanting to break the intimate connection. Jimmy tossed over and withdrew, moving to sit on the floor beside the sofa facing her.
“Rachel,” he said softly, his voice breaking.
She leaned down and retrieved her crumpled robe which lay on the sofa arm, tossing it over her cool, naked body. Rachel lay back down and Jimmy sat motionless, unashamed, proudly displaying his lithe, masculine build to her wandering eyes. Everywhere they fell, he felt as if her fingers grazed his skin gently. It virtually awakened him to life yet again.
“Hmm?” she moaned, toying with his hat as he’d done previously.
“Whatcha thinkin’?” he asked as he stretched out further, allowing her to enjoy the full effect.
Rachel flinched as if she’d been shocked, outright embarrassed that he’d caught her staring at him that way and he admired it. What made her act so bold when he was around? She’d so unashamedly mapped his complete form with her eyes, from his unwavering, stormy gaze down to his broad, well-tanned chest blanketed with a thick fur. Advancing past his navel where the dusky, coarse hair thinned into a straight line and then spread down to his hips, encircling that which made her insides tremble with the memories of their shared love. Even though he appeared unaroused, she beheld that he was still above average and that he could probably make love to her as he was.
“Nothin’,” she squeaked, her eyes tearing away, her face crimson.
He hadn’t expected to make her feel that way, only intended that they’d work themselves into another hysteria. It had thrilled him immensely that she wanted to look at him in that way. No one, save his own mother, had seen him exposed this way and Jimmy felt quite the exhibitionist.
“Don’t look away from me, Rachel,” he pleaded, his body surging to life again, “It ain’t like there’s anyone else here. It’s just us. We can do what we wanna do, ‘member?”
“No, Jimmy, I wanted to talk to you.”
“Okay, whatcha wanna talk about? Us?”
She nodded, her curls bouncing in the sunlight coming from the window overhead. Jimmy wondered if anyone had accidentally discovered their sexual union from that window.
“Me, too,” he lied, anticipating that afterwards he would take her repeatedly, slowly this time.
Jimmy had no problem identifying his feelings for Rachel but he didn’t know how he should express them. He’d only said those words once to his father as he lay dying in his arms. That was different.
“Jimmy, I...I want you to know that I...” she trailed off, fighting inside to say that which she’d so desired.
“I know,” he answered for her, treasuring the words she wanted to speak aloud, “Me, too.”
And, for now, that would be sufficient, reassuring them both until they’d broken past their final reservations. Perhaps someday. Today, they would begin with passion. Tomorrow, they would come forth with promises.
THE END
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