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TITLE: STORM CLOUDS

AUTHOR: Jennifer Bates

FEEDBACK: Yes! Good or bad. purplehazejb@yahoo.com

RATING: R

MAIN CHARACTER/S: Jimmy and Rachel

STATUS: Complete

DISCLAIMER: The usual

STORM CLOUDS

Darkness filled the room and covered it like a death shroud. While the occupants lay sleeping peacefully, a violent thunderstorm loomed in the distance. Outside the bunkhouse, several horses snorted anxiously and feared the upcoming wrath of nature. A deafening silence hung in the air and the feeling of apprehension spurred the animals into a panic. At once, they bucked and kicked in their stalls almost simultaneously, crying out for help.

A number of young men and one woman appeared at the door instantly, still clad in only their long johns, and raced to the old barn. Two of them grabbed buckets of water in case of fire.

“Whoa, now, easy there, girl,” Kid soothed as he stroked Katie’s mane, “Ain’t nuthin’ gonna hurtcha.”

“Why ya reckin ther all in such a fit, Jimmy?” Cody asked as he began to search the vacant stalls, “Ther ain’t nuthin’ in here.”

They all stood and stared at one another in confusion, wishing Teaspoon were with them to answer their questions. Things constantly went awry whenever their employer had to maintain his post as marshal in Rock Creek.

“Storm’s comin’,” replied Buck, ignoring the amazed looks on their faces, “And it’s not good.”

A terrifying quiet flooded the room, each awaiting the next sentence. Buck’s dark, brown eyes widened as he breathed deeply of the air.

“There’s too much wind in this storm,” Buck whispered, swallowing a lump in his throat.

No one with any common sense ever questioned the half Kiowa Indian whenever it pertained to conditions such as this. They all knew that Buck sensed things that no one else comprehended. Ultimately, not one of them had ever proved him wrong though each one had made an effort to do so.

Lou was the first to react to the alarming disclosure and she threw the barn doors open wide. Ike slapped the first horse on the rear and sent him into a spirited gallop, followed by Noah and Jesse. With that finished, they ran to the house and tore the mattresses from the bunks, tossing them onto the floor in a massive heap.

“Rachel!” Jimmy bellowed, and sprinted across the yard to the smaller house.

“Jimmy, no!” Buck shouted, his cries unheard.

“Let ‘im go,” Noah argued, ducking underneath the mattress, “’Sides, it’s too late to go runnin’ after ‘im.”

He reached the front door and, without knocking, ran up the stairs two at a time. He found her sleeping soundly in the second room. Not bothering to awaken her, Jimmy scooped Rachel into his arms and fled downstairs to the open door, oblivious to her tiny fists pounding on his chest and her voice shouting at him.

A harsh gust of wind drove into the house, filling it with dust and debris, causing him to hold Rachel closer. He stepped out into the nothingness and fought against the pressure that rose higher with each step he took. His favorite black hat was yanked away and he reached out as it tumbled into the abyss. An explosion crashed above them, searing light blinding his already failing sight. Rachel screamed in alarm and bounded from Jimmy’s arms, racing back to her safe little house.

“Rachel!” he roared above the second blast of thunder, “No! Ya cain’t go in ther!”

It was too late. She had vanished into the void of swirling earth and Jimmy was left with no choice but to go after her.

Back at the bunkhouse, Kid was the last to crawl underneath the mattress and he reached for Lou’s hand next to him. She held tightly and squeezed, her large, brown eyes wide with terror. Noah began to pray softly as the noise outside the house turned into a deafening howl. Jesse turned his face away from the others and cried silently. Cody and Buck simultaneously poked their heads out in amazement and caught each other’s gaze in a half-grin. Ike hid quietly beneath his shelter and listened to Noah’s words, yearning to echo the same with a voice he no longer owned.

“Where’s Jimmy and Rachel?” Lou shrieked above the din, her words relaying everyone’s concern, “Kid! I said, where’s Jimmy and Rachel?”

No one spoke. Jesse stood up, his young face smeared with tears, and bolted for the door. Noah responded quickly and his fingers barely grasped the boy’s shirttails before he escaped outside. He yanked Jesse back inside, wrestled him to the floor and back under his mattress.

“Boy, ya cain’t go runnin’ off out ther in that,” Noah yelled, holding Jesse’s arms still, “Jimmy’s not dumb, he can take care o’ Rachel and himself. Ain’t no sense in you gittin’ all of us killed, now, be still!”

Jesse stopped moving at the sound of breaking glass above their heads. Lou whimpered into her pillow and Cody cursed aloud. Noah resumed his prayers, though he couldn’t be heard any longer. Kid reached for Lou and pulled her over to him and wrapped his arms securely around her. She hid her face inside his shirt and screamed. As the old house began to creak and moan, Ike watched as Buck shouted at the others not to move for any reason. But, he couldn’t be heard over the hair-raising sound of splintering wood.

Jimmy reached the open doorway at last, his feet indicating to give way numerous times under the assault of the wind bearing down on him. He shouted at the top of his voice for Rachel and caught her running downstairs and back into his arms. At any other given time, Jimmy would have hysterics at such a sight as Rachel running to and fro. But this wasn’t one of them and he best do something quickly because both their lives were in danger with each approaching thunderclap.

“Rachel!” he bellowed into her face in an effort to be heard, “We don’t have time! Help me!”

Suddenly, Rachel realized what was happening and she hurriedly followed Jimmy’s lead as he tore the mattresses from Rachel’s guest bed near the kitchen. Throwing them on the floor, he grabbed Rachel and shoved her underneath and joined her. Rachel felt his strong arms encircle her when she closed her eyes and began to cry. She’d never beheld such a fierce squall in all her life and she was horror-struck!

“Ra…it…be…alri…” she heard Jimmy yell to her, holding her confidently next to him.

She looked at him and nodded, tears falling rapidly down her cheeks. Jimmy smiled his half-cocked grin and she sensed cool leather against her face as he wiped them away. She made an attempt to return his smile but terror overtook her as the sound of smashing glass resounded about them. Rachel moved closer to Jimmy, her body seemingly wrapping around him. She hid her face in his chest and screamed the same as Lou had in the next house. Jimmy placed a gloved hand on the crown of Rachel’s head and held her safely within his grasp.

Jimmy started at the noise of crashing things around them, then the rupturing wood twisting and turning in various directions. The earsplitting sound of the house’s small frame being dismantled was more than Jimmy could stand. Memories of his own loss during such a tornado back home brought about a painful sadness in his heart.

A twister as harsh as the one they were experiencing right now had taken the life of his baby brother six years ago. Joshua had only been a year old. Jimmy remembered that Josh constantly had incurred their mother’s wrath whenever he wandered off to the creek behind the house. She had been terrified that he would fall in and drown. Jimmy also remembered thinking cruelly that her worries were over, though he never voiced it.

Even then, he always said or thought the worst things when faced with such tragedies. His own father had once said that Jimmy would never live to be twenty if he didn’t change his outlook on life and lock up that smart mouth. What no one seemed to figure out was that it was anger and rage that helped him in surviving such a disaster.

In truth, Jimmy had loved Joshua more than any other. Hell, he had practically raised the infant willingly and enjoyed every single minute of it. When Josh was born, Jimmy was the second to hold him. When he cried in the middle of the night, Jimmy got up to feed and change him. At church, Jimmy held the baby as he slept quietly throughout services and proudly showed him off afterward to anyone who was present. He mucked stables for a solid month so that he could buy Josh’s first birthday gift, a solid blue jumper with a little hat to match. The boy loved it so much that he wore it nearly every day.

But, at the funeral, Jimmy displayed absolutely no emotion except anger and downright hatred. No one could dare come near him, not even his own mother was able to comfort him. Joshua was gone forever, taking Jimmy’s heart along with him. On that day, what remained of Jimmy’s heart was sealed away in anger and fury and he grew up swiftly, swearing that he would not marry nor have children. His heart would not be crushed ever again with the same devastating heartbreak of death.

Chapter Two.

“Jimmy?” Rachel whispered, her hazel eyes gazing into his distant stare.

Jimmy’s look frightened her, his eyes raging and bright, his face pale and ashen. He laid perfectly still, unblinking, tears poured down his face with the rhythm of the steady rain from the warring clouds over them. Where had he gone? What demons had so suddenly possessed his heart?

Taking his face in her hands, she called out to him once more, “Jimmy? Are ya all right? Say something!”

He flinched and then noticed Rachel’s apprehensive frown. Silence filled the room, a strange contrast to the thunderous blasts from earlier. He nodded and pushed the mattress away, his damp eyes surveying the destruction that lay before them. Rachel arose from the heap of rubble and tagged along after Jimmy as he mutely staggered about the now ruined abode. He shook his head in disbelief at what that cyclone had demolished in what little time it lingered. She decided not to ask any questions regarding his bizarre behavior. There would be a sufficient time for her investigation later.

The roof was completely gone, whisked away to God knew where, and the rain saturated anything that appeared salvageable. Jimmy heard Rachel draw a quick breath and he turned in her direction as she began to sob pitifully. He went to her and drew her into his arms one more time, her hands clutching the remnants of what was once a beautiful, lacy cream-colored dress.

“My…mama’s…” she wept, her shoulders shaking, “Her dress…it’s…ruined. Oh, Jimmy!”

Rachel cried harder and Jimmy kissed her soft, trembling lips, comforting her to the best of his ability. This time, he had no words to offer. Rachel didn’t need words anyway, what she felt all the way to her very soul was the strong, protecting embrace that he held her in and the untamed passion behind Jimmy’s kiss. She drifted into another world within his arms and she found that she wished he’d done this a long time ago. Rachel had no inkling as to any feelings other than friendship toward Jimmy Hickok, but, now, after this, there would always be closeness and a bond between them. On this day, when her entire world of earthly possessions had been stripped away from her, Rachel found that she desired no material things. What she would hunger for was the security and tenderness she felt with Jimmy’s presence so near and precious. At this moment, Rachel clung to him, relishing in the warmth he created deep within her spirit.

Even though others may pity her for the wreckage of these dear items, Rachel appreciated the beginning of something that no whirlwind could ever steal from her. And she would cherish it until the end of time.

“Rachel!” a young, male voice shouted, followed by another’s.

“Jimmy!”

Jimmy released Rachel and answered their cries with his own, calling out that they outlasted the ordeal unharmed. Jesse appeared first, fairly knocking Jimmy down in order to reach Rachel. He threw his arms about her and hugged her fiercely, crying audibly into her soft, golden hair. Rachel responded by soothing the boy and talking to him in a gentle whisper. The others stood in shock and disbelief at the utter shambles beneath their feet, pretending not to notice the affectionate display.

“Well, guess we oughta git started in cleanin’ up this mess,” Lou uttered, her dirty face streaked with tear tracks, “Anybody know when Teaspoon’s comin’ back?”

“This afternoon, I think,” Buck replied, kicking a board over, “But after this, who knows?”

Rachel appeared with Jesse in tow, a huge smile plastered across his boyish features. Noah, Ike, Kid and Cody proceeded to the bunkhouse to evaluate the damages while Jimmy, Rachel, Jesse and Buck stayed behind to assess the repairs needed to Rachel’s quarters. Jimmy traced after them, reserved and extremely withdrawn from their conversations. It was only when Buck nudged him that he responded with a short reply.

“Jimmy? Ya still with us?” Buck teased, elbowing Jesse when he snickered, “How’dja live through this?”

Rachel’s little home had suffered a far worse fate than the boys’ sleeping post. It would require extensive labor simply to make it livable once more. And they all knew that Teaspoon would be devastated at the sight of this complete wreckage.

“Practice,” Jimmy muttered, turning away from Rachel’s puzzled gaze.

Jimmy was at once ashamed that she had observed his weakness in that fragile moment of reminiscing. He hadn’t ever shed tears in another’s presence and the notion that she would somehow deem him to be easily broken was more than his pride could withstand. So, instead of remaining the consoling character he’s displayed earlier, Jimmy became detached and unspeaking during their efforts. His eyes wandered to Rachel whenever she wasn’t looking his way, if only to reassure himself that she persisted contentedly.

“It’s gonna be okay, Lou,” Kid encouraged her, “We’ll getcha another one in town tomorrow when we pick up supplies.”

Ike walked over and put his arms around her. Cody patted her on the back lightly, shaking his head at her demise. Noah agreed with Kid as he pried her fingers away from the broken figurine of a horse that Kid had given her at the beginning of their relationship.

“The Kid’s right, Lou, there’s plenty of these and only one of you,” Noah soothed, rubbing her empty hands, “Don’t cry, it’s all gonna be over with soon.”

“Yeah, we’ll have this place done up in no time,” Cody interjected, his usual joking demeanor aside, “Ya won’t even see the difference. Ain’t that right, Ike?”

Ike nodded and stroked Lou’s hair, smiling kindly as she turned to face him.

“Thanks,” she announced, the light returning to her eyes, “I’m all right now. Let’s get started.”

They all nodded to each other and returned to their chores unspeaking. Everyone had sensed a disturbing loss of their significant belongings and dealt with the matter accordingly. Each one was thankful and happy to have escaped with their lives. Things could be bought and paid for while lives could not.

The promise of a new day was born as the brilliant rays of sunlight cautiously spread across the land. It almost seemed as if the sun itself was hesitant to appear after the previous night’s turmoil. Jimmy stood on the front porch, his insides shaking with the images of his brother’s face and the last time he looked upon it. The recollection of that day turned his blood cold even now. Jimmy missed Joshua terribly but no one at the station house knew of the catastrophe that had befallen his family so long ago. He wanted to keep things to himself, couldn’t bear the idea of relating the story to anyone just yet. He sought to keep Josh’s memory alive a bit longer by holding it inside.

Rachel watched Jimmy step outside and lean against a post, her mind calling back the past few hours and what had transpired between them. She didn’t know if it was caused by the storm or if it had lain dormant all along but she felt alone without Jimmy standing next to her, whispering to her, holding her close to him in his affectionate grip, the way he leaned his head forward and crushed her vulnerable lips beneath his. Instantly, Rachel realized that she missed him.

“Well, Rachel, not much more we can do here,” Buck called out from the spare bedroom, “Might as well head on over to the bunkhouse and see what’s left there.”

Jesse approved the idea and traipsed after Buck without sound, leaving Jimmy and Rachel alone once again. She moved to stand with him, a concerned appearance in her face. Jimmy saw it and pretended to pay no attention to her silent questions. He felt like answering no one right now and, besides, he grasped the concept that something different had happened involving both parties. It was something very unusual and he didn’t wish to discuss that until he could identify the feelings that had surfaced unexpectedly.

“Can I talk to ya?” she asked in a low voice.

“’Bout what?” Jimmy answered, feigning indifference.

Immediately, Rachel figured out that those exact sensations had passed through Jimmy as well and she knew that she wasn’t alone in her newfound thoughts and emotions. But, instead of pressing the issue further, she mumbled something about the kitchen and disappeared inside the bunkhouse. Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief and started after her, his mind and heart in absolute uncertainty.

A powerful voice verbalized Jimmy’s concerns, forewarning his exhausted mind that the storm clouds had not vanished totally. No, an unseen thunderstorm lay just beyond the horizon, prepared to unleash its relentless assault and wipe away the ice around Jimmy Hickok’s frozen heart.

Chapter Three.

Within one week, nearly all had returned to normal and the riders had succeeded in repairing both houses save for a few minor touch-ups. Cody, Noah and Kid mended each roof, while Jimmy and Jesse reconstructed the inside. Buck and Ike began rebuilding the barn from ground up and were to be joined by the others as soon as their chores were finished. Lou helped Teaspoon and Rachel redecorate the homes much to their natural state.

Rachel and Lou sat at the kitchen table, finishing lunch. Lou observed how detached Rachel had become since the twister came. At first, she concluded that it was the desolation they’d all experienced that cast her into such a disposition. But, there was more than met the eye and Lou couldn’t pinpoint the source. She longed to ask Rachel what the burden could be, but she didn’t wish to pry.

“Rachel?” Lou whispered, trying to catch Rachel’s far-off gaze, “Are you all right?”

Rachel smiled half-heartedly and nodded, unable to express her feelings for Jimmy to anyone, least of all herself. She had fought against them daily and they came back to her threefold each time she denied how intensely they were increasing. It was as if Rachel’s heart had a mind of its own, drowning out the warnings in her brain that this most wanted relationship could never materialize. Not here and not in a million years. There were too many friendships at stake now and Rachel wouldn’t be the cause for the difficulty this involvement would certainly bring.

“Ya wanna talk about it, I’m here, okay?” Lou offered with a tender smile focused at Rachel.

Rachel knew Louise didn’t want to pressure her for words and she was thankful because she had none to give. There were no words she could speak to make another person see what her heart and soul pined for. Somehow, someway, she must either maintain this hidden secret and never divulge it to any living soul or take her chances and confess her wishes to Jimmy alone whenever the atmosphere provided. The decision would be hers and she dreaded to choose unwisely. An admission such as this could demolish their friendship and that outcome would prove devastating to Rachel, for she valued Jimmy’s acquaintance very highly and didn’t care to destroy it.

“Jimmy! Dammit!” Cody bellowed, hopping on one foot, his eyes glazed with pain, “Wouldja watch what the hell yer doin’?”

Jimmy lowered his head as several pairs of eyes pivoted in his direction. In that instant, he was ashamed at his careless conduct and walked away from their penetrating gazes. Cody cursed aloud once again and called to Kid for help in finishing the stairs. Kid silently agreed, a chuckle escaping from him in the process. Cody’s eyes narrowed as he removed his boot in order to assess the damages Jimmy inflicted with the hammer.

“Ya find somethin’ funny, Kid?” Cody remarked, massaging his aching foot.

“No, not at all, Cody,” Kid replied, concentrating on the task at hand and trying to hide his smirk.

Everyone wondered what had overcome Jimmy’s mind as of late. His character had altered surprisingly since the windstorm occurred. Initially, Teaspoon blamed it on the various events that had taken place since. But, now, no one could prove certain that his actions resulted from the exertions of rebuilding the way station. There must be an additional reason for Jimmy’s unapproachable character and Kid would question him later. Enough was enough.

Jimmy stepped out onto the porch and took a seat next to the open door. The beating of the hammer echoed the pounding in his heart. Rachel stood a mere ten feet away and it seemed as if she were much closer. Jimmy’s fingers itched to reach out and touch her, talk to her, hold her close in his arms once more. He relished the thought over and again in his mind, replaying it like a dream. It was more than any innocent kiss, for his tongue had sought entrance into her honeyed mouth, gained it and indulged the taste of her tongue as he explored. Those eyes, fierce and all-too-knowing, invited him to reach for her, hold her close to him, taking what he yearned for the minute he had laid eyes on her.

But, he lived through enough women to know the difference between Rachel and ladies that were attainable to him. And she was not within his reach by any means whatsoever. A woman of Rachel’s standards would never consider the affections of a man such as himself and it was selfish to impose such passionate emotions into her world. Moreover, she likely carried nothing but an innocent fondness toward Jimmy. He would be irrational to admit anything more than devotion and loyalty to her as an acquaintance only.

“Hello,” Rachel’s said, her voice disquieting him.

Jimmy started visibly and Rachel stifled her giggle. She wondered what he reflected on so strongly that he hadn’t heard her. He was a well-known gunfighter and he simply didn’t unnerve so easily. Had Jimmy been thinking about her as well? Could it be that he was aware of the strong attraction and had sought reasons to suppress those feelings the same as she?

“Rachel,” he answered, tipping his hat slightly in her direction, “Teaspoon’s inside.”

His inquisitive stare bore a hole right through Rachel and she stammered, shifting her feet uncomfortably. She averted his gaze lest he see straight through to her heart and the haunting passion that consumed her entire being with his presence so near. Jimmy squirmed in the chair and cleared his throat audibly, waiting for her next move. He needn’t wait long.

She moved past him and advanced into the house, leaving him staring after her, completely dumbfounded. For one split second, Jimmy believed he saw something similar to his own thoughts pass across her face, and then it was nowhere to be found as soon as it had appeared. But, it was undeniably there and that fact would not be denied. He saw it, recognized it and became even more determined to act upon it.

“Alright, Jimmy,” Lou spoke from a distance, though she now stood before him, “What’s happenin’ ‘round here? I miss somethin’?”

He shrugged, immediately closing all avenues of conversation pertaining to Rachel and what he had just resolved with himself about what to do with these unexpected turn of events. But, she endured unyielding and persistent, bombarding him with all types of questions and growing increasingly frustrated at his indifference.

“Look,” she began, lowering her voice to keep from being overheard, “I ain’t dumb, ya know, I know somethin’ took place over ther that night. I tried gittin’ a confession from Rachel, but you know her, she won’t say nuthin’ either. What’s goin’ on with you two?”

“Lou, I don’t have the slightest idea whatcher talkin’ ‘bout,” he responded, rising from his seat, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta be gittin’ back ta work.”

Jimmy’s face turned into a half-cocked grin as he turned his back and heard the unmistakable sound of Lou’s foot stomping the wooden floor in exasperation. Kid cast Jimmy a inquiring sideways glance at seeing and hearing Lou’s reactions. Jimmy shrugged again and made his way to the kitchen table where Rachel busied herself with the evening meal.

Rachel never took notice of the approaching footfalls behind her for she existed solely in her own little world, absorbed by the previous encounter with Jimmy and what she’d imagined she’d seen move across his face as he become conscious her attendance. Rachel could merely hope for the opportunity to declare her admiration of him. In barely one week, her feelings had grown considerably and that terrified her to the point of panic itself. What if he laughed aloud at her, mocking her for reading too much into his comforting embrace during her time of need? What if that’s all there was to this whole thing? Had she in reality read too much into his caring actions? If only she could find the answers to her questions, life would be so much more tolerable. It was the torment of not knowing the truth that kept her insides stirring in agonizing worry.

“Can I give ya a hand with that?” Jimmy’s voice spoke from behind, surprising Rachel so badly that she sliced right through the potato and into her hand.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, dropping the knife into the sink and wrapping the cut with linen, “Dammit, Jimmy, ya ought not do that!”

He took no heed to her ranting and reached for her wounded hand, holding it tightly when she attempted to jerk away from his touch. His eyes met with hers, locked for what seemed an eternity and Rachel heard his whisper throughout her heart.

“Be still,” Jimmy said softly, unwrapping the crude bandage and examining the injury he had caused, “Rachel, that’s a purty deep cut. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

Rachel sensed the roiling in her stomach and the entire room spun wildly about her. She mustn’t faint! What would Jimmy think if she reacted like a helpless female? But, the stinging, aching sensation of the steel blade carving into her flesh made the hair stand on her neck.

“What’s all the shoutin’ about?” Teaspoon asked, concern in his face, “Rachel? What happ’ned to ya? Lemme see.”

As the linen was peeled away, blood spurted directly across Jimmy’s white shirt and he quickly clamped his hands around her one hand and held it tightly. Uneasiness filled his mind as he watched Rachel’s face begin to fade suddenly from a healthy shade to a deathly pale color. Teaspoon caught her limp body just as she swooned backward toward him.

“Help me git ‘er over to her room, Jimmy,” Teaspoon instructed, lifting Rachel’s motionless form and carrying her across the hall.

Kid turned around in time to see what transpired and shouted to the others. Everyone dropped whatever they were doing and rushed into the house, searching for the source of the frantic call. When they saw Jimmy and Teaspoon carrying a lifeless Rachel, a cold fear at once struck the heart of each one and they hurried to them.

“What happened to her?” Noah asked, dreading the worst.

Jimmy held strongly to Rachel’s hand and explained the unfortunate accident. Immediately, he felt all eyes boring a hole into his back as he attempted to cover her with the blanket and stop the blood flow at the same time. No one voiced any opinions just yet and he was grateful.

“Ike, yer my best rider,” Teaspoon said as he pulled the boy aside, “I needja to go and fetch Doc Simmons fer me, quick now. Tell ‘im she’s gonna need stitchin’.”

Ike nodded and hastily sped past them, his horse’s hoof-beats reverberating in the silent room where they all stood uneasy and restlessly awaiting the doctor’s arrival. Jimmy cast a guilty look back toward Teaspoon and the older man shook his head in disagreement.

“Now, boys!” he exclaimed a bit too loudly, unsettling some of them, “Don’t wantcha ta go gittin’ any idears, this here was a accident. Ya’ll hear what I’m sayin’ to ya?”

Murmurs of understanding were heard around the room and Jimmy stole a furtive glance at his friends. To his amazement, not one person appeared irritated with him and he breathed a deep sigh of relief, though the guilt lay on his heart like a stone. He’d never meant for this to happen, would never hurt this woman in his entire lifetime. Yet, his stupidity had harmed her and he felt terribly at fault.

Within moments, Doc Simmons appeared and directed everyone out of the room. Jimmy remained insistent, stating that he was responsible for the whole situation and refused to leave.

“Sorry, I ain’t leavin’,” he declared, “This was my fault.”

Teaspoon nodded to the old man and the doctor shrugged, setting about his work. Jimmy sat fretfully on the other side of the bed, watching his every move. Rachel stirred, moaned and attempted to rise, only to be gently coaxed to lie back down by Jimmy as the doctor cleansed her wound.

Rachel stared up at first Jimmy, then Doc Simmons and she wondered what all the fuss was about. Her right hand ached terribly and every beat of her heart only resulted in causing it to throb painfully. She jerked away at the first prick of the needle and shrieked when she saw a profound gash in her palm.

“Rachel, this will only take a minute,” Doc promised, rubbing her hand with a soothing balm that numbed her fingers, “Be still now, I’ll be done here soon. This’ll hurt, now, you’re gonna need about four.”

She nodded, her distressed expression turning to Jimmy and breaking his heart. Damn, but he could do some dim-witted things! Why in hell did he continuously thrive in doing harm only to the ones he cared for the most? Maybe he’d been wrong in thinking he had any chance with Rachel. All he’d ever wanted in life, he ultimately destroyed it in some outlandish way. Not only that, Jimmy knew that if he actually had any possibility of creating a life with Rachel, he’d only destroy her. The life of a known gunfighter wasn’t guaranteed a long, happy one. He didn’t have a great deal of hope in living past thirty years, much less ten more. It was unfair, but true and Jimmy knew it.

“Stay,” he heard her whisper, “I don’t wantcha to go.”

“I ain’t goin’ no where, Rachel,” he responded with his head cocked to the side, unsure of what she expected of him.

The old man stopped and looked at the two of them, his eyes moving from one to the next, his handiwork momentarily forgotten. Jimmy caught his gaze and cleared his throat loudly.

“Ain’tcha got work ta do, mister?” he snapped, turning back to her when the doctor resumed his task.

Rachel felt the piercing burn of the needle plunging into her skin and nerves and she fought back tears, ashamed to cry out in front of Jimmy. She didn’t want him to perceive her as weak, although she was bitterly embarrassed of her fainting spell at the mere sight of her own blood. She bit her lip harshly until she tasted blood, her eyes never forsaking his troubled ones. His large, calloused hand held hers and the warmth and strength from his touch made the torture more bearable. She squeezed gently, smiling through her tears as he returned her loving gesture. Her heart skipped a beat and then repeated furiously as he aimed that famous, crooked grin at her.

Jimmy’s spirit lifted whenever Rachel smiled at him so strikingly, the delicate touch of her hand squeezing his sent his heart soaring to new heights. She had forgiven his wrongdoing and he swore never to hurt her nor place her in harm’s way again. Even though some may consider this incident as minor, Jimmy certainly did not. He realized in the minute that the knife blade cut into Rachel’s skin that her pain belonged to him as well as her happiness. Each and every feeling she displayed and those she didn’t need to, Jimmy felt throughout his spirit.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, wavering as she removed her hand from his and placed two soft fingers against his lips in order to quiet his apologies.

Another twinge of pain racked her brain and sent a flaming ache through her arm. She tried to think of how pleasant it would be to replace her fingers on Jimmy’s lips with her own. The very idea of how satisfying that accomplishment would someday be was the last thought Rachel had before slipping into a welcome oblivion.

Jimmy’s feet pounded on the wooden floor as he called her name, a frantic look disfiguring his handsome face. The doctor eyed him warily as if he’d gone insane.

“Take it easy, son, she’s just done in,” he explained, “Maybe you’d better wait outside?”

He take note of the advice and stepped out, right away surrounded by the others.

“She all right?” Lou chimed in, straining to see Rachel through the half-open door.

“Yeah, she’s fine,” Jimmy responded before sidestepping them and walking quickly to the front door, inhaling deeply of the fresh air.

Chapter Four.

“Aw, Teaspoon,” Cody protested, “Not stew again!”

Lou elbowed Jesse in the ribs when he laughed boisterously. Buck and Jimmy looked at one another from across the table and chuckled softly. Ike shook his head miserably and pushed his plate aside. Noah followed Ike’s lead, stating that he would turn in early. Kid simply stared at his plate, not looking forward to the taste of his food.

“Boys!” Teaspoon proclaimed in his usual, lazy drawl, “The next ‘un what complains o’ my cookin’ has tha priv’lege of preparin’ the followin’ meal. Any objections?”

“But…” Cody began, and then thought better of it.

Lou sighed and arose from the table, intent upon preparing a decent meal.

“I’ll take over from here, Teaspoon,” she announced, tossing a side of bacon into an iron skillet.

Teaspoon reclined back in his chair, a smug look on his stubbly face. He knew that if he re-warmed Rachel’s beef stew enough times, he would inevitably force one of them to accept the duties. He felt badly for Lou, but tending to meals was one thing he had never accomplished in his younger years. Not even he would be able to choke down whatever goulash he attempted to throw together. Things were safer this way.

Jimmy stood up and quietly exited the bunkhouse, strolling across the yard to the smaller house that stood alongside the larger one. Rachel sat near the window engulfed in one of her books when Jimmy knocked at the door. She gave a start at the sudden sound, placing a robe across her shoulders as she opened the door.

Rachel admired the way Jimmy stood before her, his black hat twirling in his hands, a sheepish look of innocence on his attractive face. She moved aside and allowed him to pass, her eyes never shifting from his tall, powerful structure. Everything about him lured Rachel to Jimmy. She loved the way he moved, slow and sensuously across the room, his long, dark hair swaying slightly in the breeze. His mere presence possessed authority with a hint of danger and Rachel found it to be an alluring quality.

She treasured the time they would spend together each evening, rocking leisurely on the old, porch swing, his arm slung protectively about her shoulders as they talked for hours about absolutely nothing at all. Jimmy fascinated Rachel as never before and she was astonished at her failure to notice his true inner kindness. When most people spoke of Jimmy Hickok, they did so with the utmost respect for his known talent with a firearm. No one had taken the advantage to see through that façade and learn whom this man really was. And Rachel discovered that she grew more meaningfully involved with Jimmy than she ever deemed possible. It was completely exhilarating to listen to his stories of long ago. She couldn’t get enough!

“Are you hearin’ me?” Jimmy queried, his hands placed on his hips in exasperation, “Ya ain’t heard a damn word I just said, Rachel. What’s on yer mind?”

Rachel turned away, afraid he would break through her very soul with those eyes and see that which she dared not speak.

“I’m sorry, Jimmy, you were sayin’?” she apologized quickly, only to bring him more confusion.

Jimmy placed both gloved hands on each side of Rachel’s face and forced her eyes to meet with his. They stood silent, his gaze searching hers for signs of doubt or rejection. What he witnessed instead were love and passion.

“Never mind,” Jimmy said softly, his breath catching in his throat, “Let’s…let’s go outside.”

He didn’t trust himself to go on with being patient whenever he was alone with Rachel, especially after seeing the unrestrained excitement swirling in her eyes. Jimmy had lain awake nights when the others were fast asleep, his mind and body in turmoil with shameless need for her. He would never act upon those thoughts unless Rachel moved first, fearing that he would spoil everything they’d worked so hard to create. He didn’t wish to lose her trust at such a crucial time in their lives, so he bit his tongue and acquired nerves of steel to keep from whisking her off to her bedroom at any given moment.

Rachel sighed softly and scooted closer to Jimmy, leaning her head down on his shoulder. Jimmy tensed and shifted awkwardly next to her warm body, his mind racing in all directions. He had yet to grow accustomed to such showing of love even when they were unnoticed by frequently watching eyes. An all-consuming sensation like no other warmed his insides, warning him to move away or chance ruining everything.

Rachel’s head darted upward as he practically jumped from his seat and strode suddenly across the yard away from her. What had gone wrong? Had she done something improper that set him off? Where was he going and why?

“Jimmy?” she called out as quietly as possible, “Wait, what…”

In the blink of an eye, he swung around, his eyes like ice on fire.

“I love you, Rachel,” he admitted, a cascade of feelings pouring through his very essence, “And I…I cain’t…let’s just say I got feelin’s, feelin’s I ain’t s’posed ta be havin’ about you. I just don’t wanna do somethin’ in haste that I’m afraid we’re both gonna regret tomorrow.”

She expected the worst, however she was amazed with the most excellent admission of love that any one woman could hope to wish for. Her heart leapt with happiness at the sound of Jimmy’s voice and his carefully chosen words.

“But, wait, you don’t…” she began, only to be interrupted quickly.

“Dammit!” he shouted, unconcerned that his raised tone of voice would carry to another person’s ears, “I don’t wanna ruin this, Rachel, not this time! It may very well be my last chance fer a happier life and I want it to be with you. Goodnight.”

With that, he turned and proceeded back to the bunkhouse, ignoring her pleas for him to stay. Rachel sat stunned, his words ringing in her ears. This was his last chance for happiness? What did Jimmy Hickok foresee in his future that Rachel didn’t? Could it be that he was upset in thinking that his life wouldn’t last much longer?

It mattered not how much time they were allotted, only that they had that time together. Rachel must find a way to make him see that they belonged together and she swore to use all measures in doing so. A mere one night lying in Jimmy’s arms, as husband and wife would be all she needed to carry on through this chaotic life. Rachel felt an undying love for Jimmy, so unlike any other she’d ever experienced before. Though she had loved her first husband greatly, he’d never made her feel so alive!

With everything she owned, Rachel loved Jimmy, loved him so much she felt on the verge of madness at times. No, he would not plainly walk away from her and she wouldn’t let him get away so easily. Not after his affirmation of love that she’d felt she’d waited for her entire life. Regardless, this wasn’t over yet, not by any means. She would see to that in every way possible.

He tiptoed quietly into the bunkhouse, his dark eyes searching for movement of any kind. The other riders lay fast asleep in their beds, their sounds of slumber a pleasant noise to his ears. It was late when he’d come back from Rachel’s and Jimmy wasn’t ready to answer anyone’s questions at this point, especially those from Teaspoon.

Climbing into his own bed, he lay cautiously still, waiting for someone to speak aloud. When no one did, his mind began to fly in all directions, confusing him even further. His own words echoed in his head and he stared at the ceiling, unbelieving that he’d actually blurted out all his feelings to her in just one night. It wasn’t supposed to happen so shortly, he’d sworn that he’d stay quiet until her words of love were spoken first. But, she’d forced it from him unknowingly and now he was scared that he’d wrecked everything. Surely, it was over the moment he opened his mouth. Without a doubt, there was no possible way that Rachel felt the same overpowering emotions that Jimmy felt deep within his heart.

True, he loved Rachel, had always loved her and admired her from afar. But, he could never bring himself to take action on those feelings until tonight. And he hoped, prayed that all was not lost. If only he hadn’t been in such a rush to run, who knows what might’ve happened? Would she have validated the same love he held for her in his own heart, or would she have told him in that motherly voice that she only cared for him the same as always? Could it be that Jimmy’s overworked psyche had anticipated all of it, had maybe pushed the situation into something that never existed?

But, when Jimmy had held Rachel in his arms so closely, consoling her after the wild destruction of the tornado, he knew that something changed. He had sensed an overwhelming intimacy between them that had never occurred in the past and knew that she felt it as well. At least he hoped.

“I dunno what’s goin’ on, Rachel hadn’t said nuthin’ to me,” Lou informed them, “And I cain’t get a word outta her. I already tried.”

Noah glanced at Cody and knew what he was thinking. They were to ride into town later that afternoon with Jimmy and somehow would force a response from their friend. Curiosity appeared to have gotten the best of them and they swore to remain unspoken no longer.

“What’s Teaspoon gonna do when he finds out,” Buck asked, relaying everyone’s worry aloud, “Think he’d fire Jimmy for this?”

Ike frowned and shook his head, casting a nervous quick look toward Buck. Buck shrugged his shoulders, unable to provide any positive answers to this dilemma.

Jesse stood away from the group, his crystal blue eyes stormy and raging. Jealousy gripped him in a firm hold and he felt extremely protective of Rachel. Jesse liked Jimmy, looked up to him actually, but he knew how careless and unfeeling the gunfighter could be and he didn’t want to see Rachel’s heart broken whenever Jimmy decided to back out on her. If that came to pass, Jesse feared that he would be left with no other option but to call Hickok out.

“Jesse?” Lou whispered so as not to be heard, “I understand what yer feelin’ ‘bout this but ya gotta put that aside right now. ‘Sides, yer Rachel’s fav’rite and she’ll listen to ya.”

“Whatcha want me to do, Lou?” he responded, ready to act immediately.

“ We needja to go over to Rachel’s and find out what’s goin’ on with her and Jimmy,” Lou said, “You come back here and let us know and do it without Teaspoon findin’ out. No one knows what he’s gonna do yet and we all agreed to keep it quiet. Can ya do it, Jesse?”

The young boy smirked and shoved his hands in his pockets. He peeked over Lou’s shoulder to see the other riders staring in his direction, hopeful expressions on their faces. He couldn’t let them down but he couldn’t promise anything, either.

“I’ll do what I can, Lou,” he replied, “But I ain’t promisin’.”

She nodded and Jesse headed out of the barn, receiving several claps of good luck across his back as he departed. It was up to him now and Jesse prayed that he would come through for everyone. If only he knew what to say.

Rachel stood at the stove with her back turned to him and Jesse swallowed a huge lump in his throat. He stepped over to her and gently tapped her shoulder. She glanced back at him and smiled.

“Hey, Jesse,” she greeted, “Aren’tcha s’posed to be helpin’ Noah finish the fence?”

He shuffled his feet and dropped his head, hands shoved deep into his pockets again. When Jesse didn’t answer, Rachel set her work down and turned to him, a worried expression across her face.

“What is it, Jesse, what’s wrong?” she asked, pulling a chair and taking a seat, followed by Jesse.

“I gotta ask ya somethin’, Rachel,” he began, “And I hope you’ll tell me honest. Somethin’ I gotta know.”

Rachel braced herself for the following barrage of questions, knowing that it pertained to her and Jimmy. And she wasn’t sure if she was ready to reply. After last night, Rachel couldn’t be convinced of where she stood with Jimmy and she didn’t wish to publicize their relationship at this time.

“Jesse, I know what’s on yer mind, and I don’t know what to tell ya ‘cuz I don’t really know all the answers myself,” she explained, taking hold of Jesse’s hand and squeezing it gently, “But, when I do, you’ll know it too, I promise ya that much.”

Jesse’s face flushed at the touch of Rachel’s hand on his and he beamed at her like a lovesick puppy. He’d forever had a crush on Rachel and any affection she bestowed upon him only heightened his feelings. He realized he was much too young for the likes of her but he loved Rachel anyway and he simply didn’t wish to see her wronged in any way possible, particularly by Jimmy.

“Guess that answered my question,” he said, his blue eyes contrasting to the red color of his face, “I’ll letcha git back to work now. I gotta finish helpin’ Noah with that fence, ‘member?”

Rachel stood and ruffled the boy’s hair in a motherly gesture, thinking that if she were to ever be fortunate enough to have a son, she’d want him to be identical to her favorite of all. She’d known a long time ago the sweet, innocent crush that he had on her and, while he was much too young, Rachel was deeply flattered. Jesse didn’t warm to very many people and Rachel felt honored because she had earned his admiration. He would always have a special place in her heart.

“Thanks for worryin’ ‘bout me, Jesse, it’s good to know somebody cares what happens to ya,” she said as she reached out and pulled the lad toward her in a harmless embrace as always.

Jesse returned the hug momentarily and broke free, tipping his hat slightly and turning to leave. At once, he stopped in his tracks at the sight of Jimmy positioned in the doorway, his face aggressive and fierce. Jesse moved past him quickly and bolted through the door, running to the safety of the barn where his friends stood gathered and waiting.

Jimmy stared at Rachel, his eyes dark and accusing. She met his gaze, confused and somewhat angry. No one spoke for several minutes, and then she turned back to preparing the evening meal, ignoring Jimmy’s existence.

“Ya mind tellin’ me what that was all about, Rachel?” Jimmy said, his voice dripping with suspicion.

She whirled on him, her green eyes bright with fury. Instantly, Jimmy was regretful that he’d voiced his misgivings and chided himself that he knew her better. But, when he walked in and saw them, her arms wrapped around Jesse like that, a terrible envy struck deep within his heart and he clenched his fists tightly.

“I know exactly what yer thinkin’, Jimmy Hickok, and you oughta be ashamed,” she yelled, pointing a wooden spoon at him to emphasize her words, “Why, I’d never even think of…Damn you! How dare you!”

She moved past him as Jesse had done, only there were tears spilling over her cheeks. She exited the bunkhouse in a rush, nearly knocking Cody over backwards and shoving past Buck. Open-mouthed stares followed her all the way to the little house, then all eyes turned on Jimmy as he came storming out after her.

“Rachel, dammit, wait!” he roared, ignoring Teaspoon when he appeared next to him.

Teaspoon stood idly by and witnessed the entire scene, his uncertainties confirmed. He’d assumed there was something different happening between Jimmy and Rachel but he could never quite catch them in the act. Today, however, he had his answer and he wasn’t going to let it go without a few words of sage advice.

Jimmy felt his feet yanked out from under him and his eyes grew wide as he felt himself being pulled in the direction of the sweathouse. How he hated that place! Immediately, he righted himself and protested loudly, overlooking the outright laughter of Cody, Noah and Lou. Kid, Ike, Buck and Jesse only snickered softly, afraid to incur Jimmy’s wrath once he returned to them.

“C’mon, son, looks like ya need a little coolin’ off,” Teaspoon shouted above the amusement, “And I got just the thang fer that.”

“Aw, Teaspoon, lemme go, I hate that place!” Jimmy argued, tugging away from his grip.

Jimmy was so involved in freeing himself that he didn’t see Lou march toward Rachel’s. Nor did he view Jesse’s enraged glare and clenched jaw. Kid threw an arm around Jesse and motivated him inside, where it was safe.

“Don’t worry ‘bout him, he’s just jealous,” Noah said in an attempt to calm Jesse’s raging development, “Ole Teaspoon’ll give ‘im what for.”

Cody laughed aloud again and, this time, Buck and Kid couldn’t help but join in. Even Ike smiled at the thought of what the sweathouse always done to Jimmy and he resolved that Jimmy deserved it. Within minutes, Jesse could no longer contain his chuckles and he gave way to laughter as well.

Meanwhile, Lou sat on the sofa with a crying Rachel, exhausting every avenue of compassion in order to reassure her friend. Rachel, however, could not be consoled. She was tired, worn out from playing silly games. She was much too old for childish actions, but her tears gave way anyhow.

“Rachel, c’mon, now, he just got outta hand when he saw you and Jesse like that,” Lou explained, her hand pressed lightly on Rachel’s shoulder, “You and I both know he wasn’t really thinkin’ anything, just jealousy got the better of ‘im.”

Rachel nodded, her soft, golden curls bouncing slightly now that the pins had fallen during her brief run. She instantly felt ashamed at her ridiculous behavior and was also embarrassed at having someone else see her cry.

“Ya wanna talk about it?” Lou asked, handing Rachel a kerchief for her face.

She didn’t know what to say. What could she say? She knew that Jimmy loved her, had told her so in exactly those words. But, was this what she wanted? To be watched and protected each and every second? Why, she couldn’t even hug Jesse for fear that he would become outraged and condemning. Rachel couldn’t live that way for she loved Jesse as she would her own child, if she had one. She loved everyone around her the same, save Jimmy and he would simply have to accept that fact for the truth that it was. If not, then there could be nothing between them whatsoever and Rachel would adamantly stand firm in that belief.

“Lou, I don’t know what to tell ya, I don’t know nothin’ myself, not really,” she confessed, “All I know is, if he can’t live with the fact that I love all of ya the same, then ther ain’t no Jimmy and me at all. He cain’t do this to me, Lou. I went through that with Nathan and I ain’t gonna stand it with Jimmy.”

Lou nodded, keeping hushed and permitting Rachel to speak freely and without disruption. Lou didn’t want her to feel as if she were disapproving in any way, on the contrary, Lou continuously wondered why they’d taken so long to come this far. She’d known that Rachel and Jimmy belonged together the instant Rachel came to live with them.

“I don’t know what to do, Lou, help me, please,” Rachel pleaded, wiping her eyes and regaining her composure.

“Rachel, all I know is this,” Lou replied, choosing her words with extreme care, “I known Jimmy a long time and ain’t never seen ‘im act this way over anyone. And I think ya oughta let ‘im know how ya feel ‘cuz I don’t think he knows. Have ya ever told ‘im?”

No, she hadn’t, not one single word. Could that be the reason for his bizarre actions? Is that why he grew angry at the sight of Rachel holding Jesse in her arms and not him? Did he truly believe that she would be such a traitor? What else could he believe, she hadn’t told him her true feelings at all. How could she have been so thoughtless?

“Oh, God, Lou, how could I have been so mean?” Rachel shouted, “I haven’t told ‘im anything and he already admitted…”

Rachel stopped in mid-sentence, realizing what she was about to say. She bolted from her seat and headed for the door, a bewildered look on her face when Lou caught her arm and pulled her back inside.

“Wait, Rachel, he ain’t there, Teaspoon’s got ‘im in the sweathouse coolin’ ‘im off,” she explained, “He was purty mad when ya left.”

Rachel wrung her hands anxiously, casting an irritated glance at Lou as she giggled helplessly.

“It won’t take long, ya know Jimmy cain’t breath in ther more ‘n about five minutes,” she recounted to her friend, erupting into another fit of laughter.

This time, Rachel had no choice but to join her, recalling the last time Teaspoon had carted Jimmy off to his sweathouse to settle him down. Buck had told her about it and she laughed about that for days, constantly annoying Jimmy whenever she did so.

“Son, ya gotta understand somethin’,” Teaspoon drawled in his usual tone of voice, “Women are’s confusin’ as hell, I oughta know…”

“I want outta here, Teaspoon!” Jimmy roared, tugging at the neck of his shirt.

The older man held his hand up, silencing him. This scenario was the only way to get through to Jimmy because he only seemed to listen whenever he was distressed. Teaspoon wasn’t disappointed that Jimmy and Rachel appeared to be involved in a relationship. He was, however, displeased at the manner in which Jimmy treated her and he would set the young man straight on affairs of the heart. The boy had quite a bit of learning and growing up to do and Teaspoon appointed himself as teacher.

“A body cain’t breathe in here,” Jimmy complained, his gasps coming short.

“Jimmy, I been around enuf ta know thatcha cain’t go ‘round jumpin’ ta conclusions without knowin’ tha facts first and…”

Jimmy exhaled deeply and stood up, nearly fainting from the sudden movement. He caught hold of the nearby post and leaned weakly against it for support.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about, Teaspoon, ya’ll not list’nin’!” he shouted, frustration building inside him, “I told Rachel how I felt and she didn’t say nuthin’, nuthin’ at all! Now, what’s a body s’posed ta think when they walk in and see ‘er holdin’ somebody else, anybody else?”

“Sit back down ther, son, ‘fore ya fall down,” Teaspoon commanded, his voice taking on a slightly gentler tone, “Ya mean ta tell me she ain’t toldja nuthin’ ‘bout her feelin’s? That’s not like Rachel…”

Jimmy crawled to the entrance, glancing back over his shoulder. He was tired of playing games and he resolved to set the matter straight once and for all. Either Rachel loved him back or she didn’t, but now was the time to speak the truth. And he was intent on forcing some kind of declaration, one way or another.

“Wher ya goin’, Jimmy?” Teaspoon questioned, knowing the answer, “Wouldn’t do that if I wer you…”

“Well, ya ain’t me, and I ain’t me ‘til I git ta tha bottom of this, Teaspoon,” Jimmy explained, disappearing from sight.

As soon as Jimmy set foot to the ground, he felt sick all over. The thought of confronting Rachel after he’d judged her so harshly struck fear in his heart. He was terrified that he’d behaved so irrationally and that he’d finally ruined every chance he had with her. He could purely hope and pray that she would forgive his ridiculous actions. There was only one way to find out.

The echoing footfalls of Jimmy’s boots struck fear in Rachel’s heart and she jumped visibly, her wide eyes searching for Lou’s advice. Lou rose up from her seat and headed to the back door so as not to be seen. She turned to Rachel, her hand on the doorknob.

“Rachel, just tell ‘im,” she encouraged, a smile on her face, “Tell ‘im what’s in yer heart and ya cain’t go wrong.”

Rachel nodded, rising to open the door. Her insides churned helplessly as she greeted the sight before her. Jimmy stood still, hat in his hands, a determined expression crossing his face. He stepped inside wordlessly, taking a seat on the sofa without invitation. Rachel closed the door softly and followed his lead, sitting face to face with the man she dreamed of each and every night. But, his appearance wasn’t as she’d hoped, it was threatening, unpredictable and Rachel was afraid of his unspoken words.

Jimmy witnessed Rachel’s expression and he admitted that he hated frightening her this way. But, maybe that was the only way to succeed in receiving the answers he’d come to hear. He’d tried a tender approach, but that hadn’t worked. Now, he had no alternative but to press the issue further.

“Rachel, I didn’t come here ta argue and I didn’t come here ta hurtcha,” Jimmy told her, reaching for her hand, holding it tightly in his own, “But, fair’s fair and I gotta know how you feel about me. No matter what, I still love you, Rachel.”

Chapter Five.

It was now or never. Rachel chose now.

“I love you, Jimmy,” she confessed, her heart growing lighter with each word she spoke, “And I gotta say that I got those same feelin’s for you as you do for me. I should be ashamed of them but I’m not. I don’t regret anything I feel.”

There it was, plainly out in the open, waiting for acceptance.

“Rachel…I…”

The world stood eternally still, all time seemed completely non-existent as Jimmy leaned forward and placed his lips upon hers, savoring the softness of her unbridled kiss. It had been this secret yearning which kept him awake nights, invading his peaceful rest at any given moment. Now, his dreams had been given life and it terrified him beyond belief. Jimmy had never in his life felt so close to another human being and this intimacy with Rachel was an all-consuming passion that threatened to overpower his judgment.

Rachel placed her delicate hands on each side of Jimmy’s face, pulling him closer to her, lost in the sensations that his kisses provided. Her heart beat echoed in her ears and threatened to burst inside her breast. Her mind whirled in several different directions and she stood clueless as to the next move they should make. Would they move too fast? Did Jimmy wish to pursue this impassioned connection further? Rachel did and she was not hesitant if he should require so.

Jimmy broke away, broke the spell that surrounded them in an enveloping mist of desire, his dark eyes searching hers for signs of rebuttal. What he saw in them was a loving approval. At once, Jimmy felt incapable of fulfilling her silent request.

“Rachel…I don’t…”

She pressed her fingers against his lips, replacing them with her own, reveling in the shocking sensations of his touch. A whirlwind of feelings coursed through her very soul as their affections deepened, became more fervent and Jimmy tensed, his muscles becoming like stone underneath her fingertips and she cast a worried frown toward him and leaned away.

“Jimmy?” she said softly, her breath against his neck sending shivers down his spine, “What…?”

Jimmy squirmed uncomfortably and he trembled slightly. A cold hand pressed against the nape of his neck, causing the tiny, fine hairs to stand on end. It became more and more difficult to breathe and his heart pounded furiously in his chest. Rachel’s confused stare only worsened the situation. For the first time he could remember since Joshua’s death so many years ago, Jimmy felt afraid in ways he couldn’t understand. How could he tell her this? What words would he use to explain his feelings of doubt? Would Rachel understand or simply laugh at him as if he were some child to be ridiculed?

“I…cain’t do this…” he began, precious air escaping his lungs with each breath.

Confusion settled in her brain causing her to stare at him in a bewildered gaze.

“I don’t understand,” she responded, and then the reality of his difficult position stared her in the face.

“Jimmy, you’ve never…”

He nodded, instantaneously embarrassed at his lack of knowledge. Jimmy had longed to please Rachel in ways he knew nothing about, yet yearned for desperately. Now, finally, when the opportunity presented itself, Jimmy found that he was completely petrified.

“If you don’t wanna do this,” he mumbled, slightly backing away.

Rachel pulled Jimmy to her before he had the chance to speak and showered his face with tiny kisses, provoking a slight chuckle from deep within him. The kisses deepened, became more eager and searching, the welcome softness of her mouth goading him into forgetting the words he wished to voice. Then, it was too late for anything else.

Jimmy stretched out above Rachel, pinning her down and holding her arms above her head tightly as he relished the overwhelming sensation of their still clothed bodies lying so closely together, pressed so intimately next to one another. Unworldly desire overtook him and his heated body responded instantly, crying out for a release that only Rachel could offer to him. His hand sought the ties that bound her inside the dress, tugging at them impatiently until he felt them give way and come undone.

Rachel nearly voiced her pleasure aloud as she felt Jimmy touch her aching breast, stroking her skin softly, carefully, as if she would break in his hands. Her head fell back and she arched toward him, sighing deeply as his lips tasted her flesh, teasing her body sinfully. Her hands buried themselves in his long, dark hair as she closed her eyes in ecstasy.

Jimmy slowly twisted the remaining garments from Rachel’s squirming form, enchanted by the vision that greeted him, pleaded with him, offering her soul up to him in a way he’d never thought possible. Jimmy kissed her with vehemence that he hadn’t dared release upon her in the past, a kiss that screamed how much he wanted her, needed her, hell, and would’ve died for her. His previous thoughts and worries existed no longer. She was asking and he would give, damn, but he would give!

He was astounded when she matched his ardor with all the intensity she could gather. Rachel had never in all her life sensed anything so utterly powerful as the need to have him next to her, committed to her in a way that only they understood. Her very soul had been revived once again after so long and now it would not wait to be satisfied by none other than Jimmy Hickok.

“Jimmy…” Rachel breathed, gasping with each touch he bestowed upon her fevered body.

The tone of her voice as she spoke his name so sensually constricted his already weak self-control beyond its usual reserve and her eyes flew open when she no longer felt his presence. Within seconds, Jimmy stood proudly before her, naked as the day he was born, his body alive and virile, and Rachel couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from the spectacular vision. Jimmy moved slightly, causing her to reach for him, pull him seductively toward her.

His feverish skin collapsed sexually against hers in an intense, smoldering embrace. She felt his strong, sturdy muscles as he moved sensuously above her, an electrifying current swept through her entire being as she became aware of Jimmy’s erection between them. At once, Rachel was troubled. She had witnessed his aroused profile and was distressed that he would surely tear her to shreds. She hadn’t any indication that Jimmy would be so powerfully built and it alarmed and excited her all together.

Jimmy lay perfectly still, his gaze locking into Rachel’s anxious one, sensing that she dreaded his entrance and his heart literally shattered at the thought of hurting her. He knew, without having been told, that his dimensions were more unusual than most. But, there could be no other way. They both sought to perfect their commitment, understanding that this magnificent act of making love was essential to their future existence.

Rachel’s heart beat painfully and she withdrew a loud, audible breath as Jimmy invaded her secret depths, a powerful, wanton craving filled her and she urged him deeper still. Jimmy had nearly lost his sanity as her warmth enclosed around him and enshrouded every inch of him. He didn’t in the least imagine that it would be like this, so arousing, so completely soul wrenching. He plunged himself further inside of her, his movements accelerating, his breath catching in his throat as his thrusts quickened.

With every stroke, he felt his hold upon control gradually decrease, indicating that it would send him over the edge and into sheer madness. Rachel’s arms were tossed around Jimmy’s shoulders, her legs draped securely around his legs, commanding him deeper still. She’d never experienced anything like it! While his ever-increasing size filled her with agonizing pain, the violent and animalistic gratification hindered everything else. She saw rather than felt herself approaching that heavenly fulfillment, expanding higher to the galaxies, her cries sharp and piercing in the small room. A dazzling, searing bolt of lightning poured through her body, capturing it and weaving through her insides until Rachel fought for air. A luxurious rapture like no other she had ever accomplished stretched through her limbs like wildfire, branding her heated skin. She felt the euphoric, intoxicating climax explode into a thousand pieces, falling around her.

Jimmy sensed her release, felt her inner body surround his expanding flesh, sheathing and caressing it with her velvet paroxysm. An extreme pressure had built savagely within him, inciting him to drive deeper, harder and faster inside of Rachel. His intensity came vicious and forceful, a violent tempest rocked him to the core. A intensifying exhilaration like no other he’d ever encountered entwined in his abdomen, a white-hot fire descending lower, erupting in paradise. Lunging forward, his head fell back and he cried out, shouting her name over and over, as wave after never ending wave of blissful release vibrated throughout him. Would it ever stop? No and he didn’t want it to, hopeful for this new and unexplored feeling to last a lifetime.

Jimmy fell limp and helpless as the last of his seed spread fiercely through her. Rachel looked up at him and smiled vaguely, her eyes wild and her heart now awakening. They both lay spent in each other’s arms, breathless with their primitive efforts. A thin gleam of sweat layered their heaving bodies as they lay together, not wishing to sever the private connection. Jimmy tossed over and withdrew, moving to lie comfortably next to her.

“Rachel,” he said softly, his voice breaking.

“Hmm?” she moaned, toying with his hair absentmindedly.

“Rachel, I...” he halted, searching for the words, “I love you.”

She sighed, her head settling against his broad chest. Those were the simple words she’d been aching to hear once again, yet, she knew how complicated it was for Jimmy to say them. Happiness and harmony slowly etched its way into her heart, draining her sorrow, sending it away for eternity. Rachel smiled, her eyes proceeding upward to meet with his, charmed with what she saw in them. Peace…at last.

“And I love you, Jimmy Hickok,” she responded, closing her eyes as his lips once more seared across hers.

Jimmy tilted his head, slanting his flaming lips across hers, assaulting the softness with his conquering kiss. His fingers traced through her hair, releasing the last few pins that held it, entangling his hands within the silky, golden curls. Stretching out above Rachel, he moved sensuously against her in a passionate onslaught, his strapping muscles clutching her tightly to his blazing skin. He sighed heavily and his wandering gaze traveled the length of her and back again to her soulful eyes.

She should belong to someone who could offer her what she so deserved and he had nothing to present Rachel but himself. All he had possession of were the clothes on his back and the meager belongings he’d carried with him when he joined the Pony Express. Jimmy knew that something that felt so right didn’t come along but once in a lifetime. He would never be this blessed again. It was time to let his heart mend and treat Rachel the right way, the only way she called for.

“I...” he began, only to be interrupted swiftly by Rachel’s soft words.

“Jimmy?” she breathed, her mind foggy with this extraordinary attraction, “You’re shakin’! What’s wrong?”

Jimmy shrugged, covering his chilled body with a blanket from across the sofa. Rachel placed her hands on his shoulders and rubbed them briskly, confused at his sudden change in behavior. She wasn’t cold at all, in fact, just the opposite. What had gone wrong?

Quickly, Jimmy drew away, his eyes steely and dark. He wanted to love her, wanted to love her with everything he was and ever would be. But, did she know what lay ahead of them should they go on? Did she realize the outcome of his very existence in her seemingly normal life? Did she understand how short-lived his life might be?

“Rachel…” he sighed, his breath flowing across her hair, his eyes closing heavily with sleep.

But, he couldn’t sleep now; there were too many things that needed to be said, too many worries in his heart. Jimmy struggled free of her grasp, reaching for his discarded clothing, his back turned to her dazed appearance. A feeling of fear such as no other surged forth and failed to be restrained into silence.

“Jimmy?” she whispered, disbelief and panic at what he was doing abundant her mind.

He glanced at Rachel over his shoulder as he pulled his boots on, instantly regretting that he’d done so. Tears brimmed over the lashes of her beautiful, green eyes and his heart twisted, exploded with guilt at his insensitive behavior. But, he couldn’t seem to stop.

“Wait,” she pleaded, her voice and resolve breaking, “Talk to me, please…don’t leave…Jimmy, I’ll die if you don’t…”

Immediately, he whirled on her, his eyes flashing and angry, raging within his soul, piercing his heart like a dagger. He was afraid, petrified that her very existence beside him would cost her an extremely precious commodity, her life. Jimmy wasn’t willing to place her in such danger, asking her to become the wife of a well-known gunfighter as he. He loved far too much to allow that to happen. Besides, Jimmy couldn’t picture his life without her, especially if she were dead. He could withstand knowing that they were apart and she still existed.

“You’ll die if you do!” he shot back, furious at the situation he’d placed them both in, “Don’t ya understand what’s gonna be asked of ya, Rachel, don’tcha know what could happen?”

She nodded, feeling the tears fall down harder, aware that Jimmy was correct. She’d considered the same thing on many occasions, frightened that she would lose him to death sooner than expected. At that time, she tried to help her feelings and his by pushing that fear aside but it got to Jimmy first and horrified him so unexpectedly. Rachel was also aware of the fact that a life with James Butler Hickok could not be lived in the way she so hungered for. He basically would not survive that long. With that thought in mind, she moved toward him, her arms reaching for him and he dropped his head sadly.

“I understand now,” she whispered soothingly, her arms draping about his shoulders as Jimmy’s head fell forward, resting in the groove between her head and shoulder, burying his face until the tremors stopped.

“But, I’m not turnin’ my back on you, James Hickok,” she spoke calmly, resolute in her statement, “I don’t care if I die tomorrow, I love you today!”

She held tighter, hugging Jimmy as if she were dying inside. Her heart murmured to his own that he couldn’t leave her now that they’d found one another. He couldn’t leave her at this instant when he knew how infinitely she loved him, so passionate and unyielding. Jimmy halfheartedly struggled with Rachel, trying to break free of her loving grip but his heart just wasn’t in it.

“I love you, Rachel, my God, I love you,” he declared, his own eyes filling with long awaited tears as his strong arms surrounded her in his safe embrace.

His head tilted, suffocating her with the attack of his commanding, dominant kiss. Her fingers traced through his hair, enmeshing it around them, feeling him stretching his provocative body near her, pressing against her. Jimmy’s voice rumbled deep within his throat as he savored her sweet offerings once again. He predicted he’d lost that forever and it compelled him to lift Rachel from the sofa and carry her into the bedroom, their affectionate kisses unbreaking.

Their life together may prove to be a short one but at least they would be together for a time. And, for now, that was all that mattered to them both. Tomorrow was another day. But, today, was the very beginning of the rest of their lives. And they would make it last.

THE END.

FEEDBACK: purplehazejb@yahoo.com

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