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John knew exactly what brought on his fit of anger. It wasn’t Chiana’s scary premonitions, He felt some betrayal at D’Argo’s refusal to help in his plan to stop Scorpius but that wasn’t it. It was Aeryn staring at him with ice-cold hatred in her eyes; he couldn’t live with that anymore. Weeks after returning to Moya she refused to speak to him unless there was some emergency like the one with Rygel. Her staring at him with pure unadulterated hate at first was unnerving, then annoying, now his stomach knots up and he has trouble breathing when she stares at him like that. He can’t sleep, can’t eat. “It’s worse than when Harvey was in complete control.” John thought to himself.
Finally, Aeryn spoke to him, and it was to remind him that it was his obsession with wormholes that got Zhaan killed. Unable to deal with it anymore, unable to take her silence and cold hard stare He climbed into his Module. He sat in there for a long, long time, he even napped a little, then he sealed the canopy, fired up the engines and left Moya. Free of the great leviathan John steered a course back along the course they came until he found the field of floating rocks that once was a medium size moon. John fired the engines of his module to full thrust and aimed the module toward a dense asteroid field. He was sure that in a matter of moments the vision of the hatred in her eyes would be gone very quickly. This wasn’t the right thing to do, but it was righter than anything else he could think of.
John watched the on rushing boulders and muttered “"Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man, but if You're up there and You can hear me, show me the way. I'm at the end of my rope, I –– show me the way, oh God.” He was about to close his eyes when a prowler flashed across his nose, glanced off an asteroid and careened into space.
“Every frelling time…” John muttered as he put the module into a hard bank and chased after the wildly spinning prowler. The pilot of the stricken fighter fought valiantly to stabilize his vehicle but it was apparent that the prowler was shattered; its froonium drive was leaking propellant, which was starting to form as a cloud around the fighter.
John matched velocities with the fighter, matched its now slowed spin rate then sealed his helmet and released the canopy of his module. Securing the safety line he pushed off the module toward the prowler a little too hard and thumped into the prowler with a lot more force than he expected. John felt a dull snap in his wrist as he crunched into the ship, It wasn’t broken but he knew a sprain when he felt it. “There goes my sex life.” He groaned. “Who ever you are you had better be worth it!” he yelled at the prowler as he pried the canopy open.
The prowler pilot was unresponsive, but there was no way to check his or her vital signs on the dying fighter. John unbuckled the pilot’s harness and muttering encouragement laced with obscenities John eased the pilot out of the Prowler. Once John had the unconscious pilot clear of the stricken craft he pushed off toward the FarScape module, but he missed and he panicked a bit as he drifted over the open canopy of his little research ship. He then remembered the safety line and calmed a bit, but then he remembered that even though he and his cargo are weightless they still have mass…
“Uhhhh!” the breath was forced out of his lungs by the force of hitting the end of the safety line and his harness constricting against his ribcage. The mass of the unconscious pilot threatened to rip his arms off but John held on tightly and didn’t lose him. Now they were being recoiled BACK toward the stricken Prowler, which was starting to roll, but they were moving slowly enough to allow John to try something. Wrapping his legs and one arm around the pilot John reached out and grabbed the sill of the FarScape module as it went by. A blinding flash of pain reminded John of the condition of his wrist but he held on.
Finally after much fussing, fighting, grunting and cursing John wrestled the pilot of the Prowler into the module, strapped him in, and then finally got himself in place. After re-pressurizing the cockpit John pulled his helmet off and then turned to his passenger. “Come out come out whoever you are!” he called out as he reached for the pilot’s helmet. “Come on, let see them baby blues.” Said John as he opened the visor of the helmet.
He wasn’t met by the gaze of ‘Baby Blues’ by a long shot. There was the familiar dark, hollow eye sockets, the dry cracked skin, the pointy teeth, the black gums, the weird bondage freak headgear with the built in light show. “Scorpius!” John gasped and fumbled in the crowded confines of the module to extract Wynonna.
Suddenly the horrors eyes opened. “Not hardly John, you usually call me Harvey, however today I wish to be called by a different name. You may call me Clarence.”
John whirled around and found that he was in a small room, soaked to the skin and wrapped in a blanket. Harvey sat next to him and a bit closer to a hissing fire burning in a potbellied stove. Like John, Harvey was wrapped in a blanket and he was fanning himself with an original edition of ‘Tom Sawyer’. “Harvey! Would you stay out of my memories? And does everything have to be in black and white?”
“We both know what you were trying to do in that asteroid field, John. Don’t pretend you weren’t trying to kill yourself.”
John kept looking around the drawbridge operators office “So what Harv? I got the lizard from the black lagoon living inside my head, I got the woman I love hating my guts, I’m a zillion miles from home with no hope of getting back and everything I touch turns to dren. So yeah! I’m tired of this, I’m sick of it and you and yeah! I wish I was never born!”
Harvey sighed. “Have it your way John.” He gestured and suddenly snow started falling outside the window of the drawbridge control office. “There, you were never born. You never traveled through a wormhole, you never boarded Moya nor met her crew.”
“That’s the darndest thing.” John muttered
“What is that, John?” asked Harvey too innocently.
“I can’t hear out of my left ear. I used to have perfect hearing, now I can’t hear.”
“These things happen.” Shrugged Harvey “If you were deaf in that ear you could hear from it now. How’s your sprained wrist?”
“It’s…” John moved his wrist through a full range of motion. “It’s all right. How’d you do that?”
“You were never born. How could you hurt your wrist rescuing me if you were never born.”
“Oh yeah! I get it now! You’re gas lighting me!” Said John, an edge of maniacal laughter creeping into my voice. “I DID splatter against an asteroid and now I’m in frelling hell!”
“I assure you John, you are not in hell. How could you be, you were never born. Just like in the movie.” Said Harvey calmly.
“Well in the movie it STOPPED snowing when Jimmy Stewart was suddenly not born. HA!”
“I like snow.” Said Harvey defiantly, “Let’s get going, shall we?”
John turned to the drawbridge operator and pointed to Harvey. “He thinks he’s an angel.” He said in his best Jimmy Stewart voice.
The bridge operator just turned back to his newspaper. “So did the last nutcase I had in here.”
John followed Harvey out the door “You’re frelling with my favorite movie and I don’t like it!”
Suddenly John and Harvey were back in the module approaching Moya. Something was wrong; Moya’s scars were gone. Through their adventures Moya had been savagely injured on several occasions. She’d been burnt horribly, crashed into several other ships and had even been stabbed with another ship, those scars were gone, but this leviathan was wearing a control collar. “What the hell?” gasped John. This obviously wasn’t Moya.
“Oh this IS Moya. You see John, when you appeared out of nowhere three cycles ago your sudden appearance confused and scattered the PeaceKeepers that were trying to recapture Moya.” Lectured Harvey. “The only prowler pilot that wasn’t shocked and was able to stay with the battle plan was Officer Sun. However, you weren’t born so you couldn’t appear and prevent the recapture. The retrieval squad retook Moya a few moments after you would have appeared and your friends remained prisoners.”
“Yeah right, Harvey.”
“John, I’ve never lied to you.”
“PeaceKeeper Leviathan, this is Farscape One, Pilot please deploy the docking web.” Called out John over the com.
“%%%&&&&%&&&%&%&&%%&&%&&&%%&%&&&&&%&%&&%&%&&&%&%&%” came from John’s com badge.
“What the hezmana is that?” asked John.
“That’s Pilot, John. You were never born so you never got injected with translator microbes. But he is deploying the docking web for you.”
John started imitating the theme song for the “Twilight Zone” “Do do do do, Do do do do!”
Harvey shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You better get ready for the reception committee, John”
After landing the module and taxiing to a pressurized bay John climbed out of the module while half a dozen peacekeeper officers trained their pulse rifles on him. A DRD whirred up to him and injected translator microbes through the side of his flight boot. John winced and listened to the voices about him change from odd forms of howling babble to something he could understand.
“…I said identify yourself officer!” a snot nose young PeaceKeeper officer demanded of John.
John realized that he was in a peacekeeper pressurized flight suit with officer rank attached. There’s literally dozens of them in storage on Moya so why not? Most of what he wore was bits and pieces of different peacekeeper uniform anyway. Why bother shopping when the peacekeepers had such great taste in leather goods?
John turned to the young officer holding a gun on him and was about to dress him down when Harvey stepped around from behind the module. “He’s with me officer. Is this leviathans commander here?”
“Uhhhh Scorpius, umm he’s been paged, he should be here by now.” the young officer was visibly shaken.
John was shocked that the young officer could see Harvey. His mouth dropped open and he turned to Harvey who just held his hand up to silence John. “Could you be so kind as to inform your Captain that I dislike waiting.” Said Harvey to the security officer with a smile that consisted of pure snake venom.
“I’m here Scorpius, what are you doing on my ship?” asked a tired looking PeaceKeeper of captains rank. The captain slowly entered the hanger bay with a wobbly gait; he was obviously drunk. There was something familiar with this PK’s voice that startled John, however he didn’t recognize the man. He was the same height as John but very portly, he had a scruffy beard that went in all directions at one time and long greasy unkempt hair that laid dead and flat on his head. He smelled like he showered in cheap booze.
“I’m just here temporarily captain. Commander Crichton and I need to allow our module to cool off for a few hours here in your hanger bay and then we’ll be on our way, until that time we will relax in your officers club.” Hissed Harvey.
“I want you off my ship as soon as possible Scorpius.” Said the captain as John and Harvey walked past. “As soon as possible!” the captain yelled to their backs as John and Harvey walked past the guards.
“As you wish Captain Crais.” Said Harvey and they continued out of the bay and down the corridor.
“There’s another Crais?” asked John. The corridors in this Leviathan were brightly lit, a change from the dim familiarity of Moya. “Any relation to OUR Crais.”
“John, that was Captain Bialar Crais.”
“No he wasn’t, the Pillsbury Fellip Sponge there couldn’t POSSIBLY be our man Crais.”
“This Crais has had it very tough. A little over two cycles ago he found that one of his best pilots was selling illegal drugs and had to be executed.” Said Harvy “That was his brother, and Bialar Crais has been drunk ever since. John remember, you were never born, you couldn’t have accidentally killed Tuavo Crais, if you had he would have died a hero in his brothers eyes.”
They entered the central chamber, which on this leviathan was the officers club. “That’s a cute story Harv, you really got my tears rolling. By the way, how come folks can see you here?”
“You were never born John, there was no neural implant so obviously for me to be seen here I have to be the real Scorpius. But since I know about your little pet name for me, Harvey, I can only logically be a real angel, therefore they can see me.”
“You an angel? Spare me the details.” Groaned John, rolling his eyes as he bellied up to the bar. “Hey bartender! A little service here? Huh?” John pulled up a barstool and Harvey took one next to him. “What smells here?” John asked. “Something smells like rotting meat.”
The bartender was a Luxan, one that had been tortured and cruelly disfigured. His tentacles had been chopped off and his nose sliced up to look more like a Sebacean. John saw that his sword hand was missing too, a metal hook was in its place. “Wait your turn.” Growled the Luxan.
The pit of John’s stomach turned to acid. That was D’Argo’s voice. “D’Argo?” whispered John
“You don’t know me, who said you could use my name?” snarled D’Argo.
“What happened to you? What happened to your…”
“Hand? Face? Let me tell you something, I learned that you want to escape from a PeaceKeeper prison, make sure they kill you rather than recapture you.” He waived the hook in John’s face. “Now what are you going to have officer?”
“Just a raslic.” Muttered John, his head starting to spin.
“And you?” asked D’Argo. But before Harvey could answer John noticed across the bar a group of PeaceKeeper officers playing cards, and it was quite obvious that they were playing for the naked Delvian female that was chained to the table.
“Zhaan?” gasped John.
“You know her?” asked D’Argo.
“That’s Zhaan! She’s a friend! I saw her d… ZHAAN!” cried out John
The Delvian slowly looked up at the sound of her name but John immediately saw that there was nothing there in her eyes. No spark of intelligence or recognition, her eyes were dull and lifeless. The Zhaan he knew was drugged senseless or tortured out of her mind or both.
“She, my friend, is the ships whore. Those officers have been waiting a few moens for their turn and will not take it lightly if you frell things up.” Growled D’Argo. “Now what do you want to drink?” he asked Scorpius
Harvey thought for a moment then smiled. “Mulled wine my good man!”
“Hey look, mister. We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint atmosphere. Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer?”
John ignored them as he approached Zhaan. She kept her eyes turned down and refused to make eye contact with John. “Zhaan, it’s me John.” He said as he reached out for her arm. She pulled away as the PeaceKeepers that were playing cards started to rise.
“Something you want?” asked one angry officer giving John a shove. Before John could answer the other three had grabbed him and the first officer started punching John in the stomach. Over and over they pummeled John, taking turns until they had to hold him up more than hold him back. Finally the beating stopped and the peacekeepers dragged John out of the club and threw him into the corridor. The beaten human tried to stand but ended up leaning against the wall and sagged to the floor holding his stomach in pain.
Harvey stood over John and shook his head slowly. “That was truly a shame, I was trying to see if I could get the bar tender to say ‘that’s it, out you two pixies go, through the door or out the window.’ That is such a marvelous line. Do you believe me now John?”
“That was D’Argo and Zhaan? What happened? And what smells around here?”
“That truly was D’Argo and Zhaan. You weren’t here to help them escape so when they were recaptured the PeaceKeepers finally broke their will. But Rygel they couldn’t break.” Said Harvey crouching down to stare into John’s pain filled eyes.
“Where is the little fur ball?”
“No one really knows, he escaped for the last time about a moen ago and from the smell it appears he was in the ventilation system when he died.”
“That smell is Sparky?” John felt like he was going to throw up. “Where is Chiana?”
“Her remains are on Nebari prime. If you hadn’t altered Moya’s future, Moya wouldn’t have hit the Nebari transport allowing Chiana to escape. They took her to Nebari prime and tried mental cleansing. It was unsuccessful so they removed her brain to study it.”
“They dissected Chi?” screamed John.
“No John, the word you would use is vivisection.” This time John did throw up. While he was heaving Harvey continued “You've been given a great gift, John, a chance to see what the world would be like without you.”
When he was done retching John asked “Jool, what happened to Jool?”
“Nothing, nothing at all. In fact she’s in the same condition as when you found her, frozen in suspended animation. But not for long, there’s a buyer on his way to the diagnosan’s lab and Jool will be donating several vital organs to this buyer. You weren’t there to free her John, so she will soon fall to the fate that Grunchlk and Tocot have in store for her.”
“And Stark?”
“Ahh Stark. If it weren’t for Stark, Scorpius would not know that long exposure to the aurora chair is fatal.”
John went silent for a long time. “What about Dad and DK?”
“Your father never recovered from your mothers death John, he’ll remain restrained in the nursing home for the rest of his natural life. As for your friend DK, he actually did very well on the Farscape Project that he dreamed up by himself and flew himself. However he didn’t have the piloting skills you have and died when the Farscape module hit the side of the wormhole. Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives, and when he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?”
Finally John got up the nerve to ask the question that was burning in the pit of his gut when he realized what was going on. “Aeryn, where’s Aeryn?”
“Aeryn is here on Moya John, she’s doing what she always wanted to do, she’s flying prowlers and she’s involved in advanced flight research.”
“Well why didn’t you tell me?” demanded John as he struggled painfully to his feet.
“You don’t what to go there John…” but John had started running off toward the hangers. “I warned you John!” called out Harvey.
The earthman stumbled through the corridors until he reached a bay marked with PeaceKeeper security devices and guarded by two burly and heavily armed guards. John reached into his pocket and found an ID tag there. Trying to stay calm John placed the ID tag in the proper slot and the door to the hanger opened slowly. The guards eyed him cautiously but he entered the hanger marked “Cyber-Bionetic Flight Research” but not being able to read Sebacean John ignored the sign by habit and walked into the bay.
Inside there were two prowlers, one had just returned from a mission and from the look of the activity the other it was getting ready to take off. The technicians were placing a large chrome box in the cockpit of the prowler that they were preparing to launch while the engines of the landing prowler spooled down. The technicians on the launching prowler were leaning over the cockpit making sure the box they inserted was secured. On the landing prowler the technicians moved maintenance stand next to the cockpit and climbed up. The Canopy raised and the technicians removed the pilot’s helmet. After speaking to the pilot of the prowler a technician put a squarish cover over the pilot’s head fastened the lid down and the technicians raised a box out of the prowler, a box that looked like the one they put in the other prowler.
Harvey appeared by John’s side as John made the realization what was in the box. “You’ve got to be frelling kidding me! These pilots are just heads?” John asked incredulously.
“There’s more to them than just a head.” Answered Harvey, “there’s enough torso remaining for heart, a lung, and a rudimentary digestive system. Their brain is wired directly into the prowler. They have no need for arms, legs, or other organs. Fascinating really, the effect of G forces is minimized and reaction time is maximized, and the pilot is actually one with his ship, something Aeryn always dreamed of.”
John whirled on Harvey. “Don’t you DARE tell me that Aeryn dreamed this up, that somehow she’s responsible for this… this… abomination!”
“It’s worse than that John, look.” Harvey indicated the prowler getting ready to launch, the mechanics raised the chrome cover off the box they installed and the pilot’s head appeared. The raven black hair was trimmed short, there was a metal appliance over one eye, but it was definitely Aeryn. “You once said she could be more John. It looks like she decided to be less. But you weren’t around to show her that there was more in the universe to live for.”
Time slowed to a crawl for John, he dove for the prowler screaming Aeryn’s name. Security guards appeared from nowhere to block John’s path to the prowler, rifle butts began to rain down on John as he struggled with the guards, still crying out Aeryn’s name. He saw her turn and watch him impassively as the techs placed her helmet on her head. By now John had curled into a fetal position as the blows and kicks pummeled him. “I want to live.” He gasped “I want to live… I want to live…”
“I want to live… I want to live…”
“So live already.”
John’s eyes flashed open at the sound of Chiana’s voice. He suddenly realized that he was sitting in his module still in the maintenance bay. He slammed back the canopy and bounded out of the module. “Pip! You’re alive?” he cried scooping her up and swinging the slim Nebari around.
“Of course I’m alive! Are you?”
“I just had the wildest dream… I dreamt I was never born!”
“If you don’t put me down you’re going to be wishing for just that.” Said Chiana, the toe of her boot hovering dangerously close to causing a lot of pain. “Put me down, it’s time for the Chrismis party!”
“Holy Dren I forgot! Come on Pip!” He slung her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and started toward Pilots den where the party is traditionally held.
In the pilots den John was greeted by cheers and laughter. A potted shrub stood in front of Pilot and all manner of sparkling bits and ribbons and lights covered it until it’s poor branches bowed under the weight of the decorations. Tables covered with food and drink lined the walls while D’Argo played a lively tune on something that looked like a cross between a banjo and a crowbar.
Aeryn came up to John, handed him a drink and smiled, then to his surprise gave him a sweet passionate kiss. “Merry Chrismis, John. Give me a little more time, just a little more.”
John smiled a huge grin and was about to answer when Jool spun him around and demanded a dance. With a laugh Aeryn gave John an encouraging push between the shoulder blades and before he knew it John was dancing with Jool.
The party went well into the evening and at some point John noticed a DRD with a book on it’s back following him around. John lifted the book and to his surprise it was an actual made-out-of-paper-with-pages-and-ink book, a copy of Tom Sawyer.
Surprised John opened the book and written inside the cover in a large curving hand read the words:
"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends." – Harvey
