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What would Scorpy do if he suddenly found himself on Earth? Luckily, he lands in Manhattan where everybody wears black and leather and nobody makes eye contact. Scorpy is able to move about freely. His suit is instantly a hit with bondage freaks and bikers. The Hell's Angels, the first to adopt his manner of dress, invite him to live in one of the many buildings they own on East 3rd St.. Tiring of the lower east side, Scorpy moves west and shares an apartment in Greenwich village with a bunch of musicians. He tells them he is a former member of the band, "Kiss." Nobody questions this. Wanting to be productive, he lands a job in the mailroom of a huge multinational corporation and rises quickly through the ranks due to the information he has access to, and some purposely mis-delivered inter office memos. Scorpy eventually becomes CEO, and writes books of his business philosophy, called "The Tao of Scorpy-Tse" (Pronounced Scorpy Sue) Businessmen all over the world adopt his practices and the power tie is replaced with the power suit, a knockoff of Scorpy's Thermal Regulator suit. Various clothing manufactures contact Scorpy for ideas on an entire line of clothing. He branches out into the world of fashion and takes it by storm. He licensees his TR suit and PK designs to Armani, Hilfiger etc., and creates a line of Prada leatherware. Body Glove manufactures the first thermally regulated Scorpius signature series wet suit, which debuts in Hermosa Beach, and becomes the rage of surfers everywhere. The suits, with built in air-conditioning make a big hit in Los Angeles, especially on Santa Monica Blvd. and Melrose Place. People can't get enough of Scorpy-wear. His designs are adopted by police and military throughout the world. Even football uniforms are modeled after the Peacekeeper shoulder pads. Mattel introduces the Peacekeeper Barbi doll (John's prophetic joke) complete with an Aurora Chair/Hair Dryer. (Hey kids, was Peacekeeper Ken cheating on PK Barbie? Which her rip the information from his mind and style his hair!) Not to be outdone, the automotive industry licenses designs from Scorpy, who is propelled into wealth beyond the dreams of avarice. Chrysler introduces the Plymouth Prowler, (a sleek new design) the Dodge Marauder, heavy-duty pickup truck, favored by bounty hunters, and the highly stylized, redesigned PK Cruiser. Oldsmobile redesigns their Aurora to project images of previous family trips on the windshield. Scorpy, bored with his success, tries to branch out into unknown territory. He designs a combination leather recliner, home entertainment center with virtual reality head gear. He calls it the Braca-Lounger, after his much missed second in command. Soon, the demands of commerce begin to wear thin on Scorpius. He wants to do something creative. Harkening back to his days in 'the village' (Greenwich Village) with his musician friends, he decides to pursue his newly acquired taste for music. Scorpy takes some night courses in music at Juilliard in their extension division, and attends many concerts at Alice Tully Hall. Scorpy realizes that his image is equally at home in Rock and serious music, since his TR suit is reminiscent of a conductor's swallow-tail jacket. He innovates a totally new style of music and becomes the conductor the worlds first Heavy Metal Symphonic Orchestra. His fame skyrockets, the now multi-platinum recording artist is SRO at the major stadium and concert hall venues throughout the world, and influences musicians for generations to come. Juilliard awards him an honorary Doctorate in Composition and asks him to teach a master class. Scorpius, now a cultural icon, finds himself emulated wherever he goes. People have gone as far as to begin wearing prosthetic Scorpy teeth, having their chins extended via plastic surgery, and the pale white look is back in vogue in New York. In LA, the leathery, wrinkled skin acquired by too much sunning is also back in a big way, followed by a trip to the latest LA fad, The Bleach-House. (Rumor has it that Michael Jackson bankrolled this burgeoning new industry.) The earth is so taken with Scorpius that virtually everyone is trying to emulate like him. Eventually, he yields to the demands of the world, and abandons his artistic life for politics and is made head of a new world council. Meanwhile, Earth looks like a global Command Carrier. For the first time, Earth's people are at peace, everyone is prosperous, content, and looks, talks, acts, and thinks like Scorpius. Then one day, miraculously, a wormhole opens up and spews out a very unremarkable battered white NASA space module, manned by a lone, travel-weary astronaut, who unremarkably crashes near the beach in what is now called Australius. It's orange suited occupant staggers in the sand, rubbing his eyes as he sees thousands of Scorpius's surfing, sunning, barbecuing, and jogging wherever he looks. When he finally realizes that Earth has become planet Scorpius, he goes into a catatonic seizure, never to regain consciousness again, thus proving finally and once and for all, that success is the best revenge. |
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