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The Silly Ficlets: The Dentic; The Attack of the Impants; Strike;
The Dentic
Acknowledgement: To Runnik, for not only doing the beta reading (which is essential) but for all the encouragement and support (also essential).

Time: LG&M 2 after John gets back with Bekhesh, before John goes to Scorpius

“Seriously Bekhesh, doesn’t your mouth hurt? Your gums are bleeding.” John spoke to Bekhesh without looking at him.

“Why do you think I keep upping the drugs in the gauntlet? It’s the only relief I get.” Bekhesh gave John a full blast of his breath when he spoke.

“Oh man, look away from me when you talk. Listen, I may have just the thing for you. Have you ever used dentics? That’s a silly question, obviously you haven’t. Follow me, these guys may help you.” John said.
                      _________________________________

“Now be careful not to swallow it.” John instructed Bekhesh on the finer points of using a dentic.

Bekhest placed the dentic in his mouth. The effect was at first painful and John had to convince him to let the critter do its thing. By the time a quarter of an arn passed, Bekhesh found the effect pleasant enough to let the dentic finish the job.

After a half an arn, the dentic flopped out of Bekhesh’s mouth exhausted and bloated to twice its normal size. It burped a long satisfying burp.
The Attack of the Imapnts
“What the Hezmana..!” John said to no one in particular and thought. *These pants have suddenly gotten really tight.* “Hey, who did the wash last?” John called out over the com.

Stark replied, “It was my turn, John. Why?”

“I don’t know; the pants stopped fitting overnight.  Where are you? I’ll come over.”
                     ________________________________

“John, I used the same procedure we’ve been using all along.  The amnexus fluid did all the work, and it was the same temperature as always. I don’t know why they should have shrunk like that.”

“They shrunk in only one place and they’re giving me wedgies from hell.”  John tried to pull the pants out of his crouch, but they snapped right back in. “Every time I try to pull them out, they dig in deeper. I better get the other pants out of the wash.  I can’t take much more of this.”
                     ________________________________

“These don’t look like your pants, John.”

John was trying to rip the pants off his butt.  He was not having any luck. “Whaddya mean?”

“I don’t know, they’re different somehow.  I sense they are alive.” Stark was holding John’s dirty pants against his mask.

“Never mind.  Help me get these off. They’re killing me! “ John had sunk to his knees and started to babble.

It took Stark a good ten minutes to remove the evil, wedgie inflicting pants from John.  John grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist.  There were tears in his eyes.
Strike
“Ah – Ah – Aaachooo” D’Argo’s tongue flew out across the dinner table when he sneezed, scattering half the dishes and catching the bottom of Rygel’s sled, throwing him into a wall. Rygel and throne-sled fell in a heap sending up a huge dust cloud. This caused Rygel to sneeze and fart.

“Guzundheit” John said to both at once. “Why is this place so dusty? Look at all the dust bunnies drifting around on the floor.”

“What are buggies?” Rygel regained his sled and floated back to the table as he asked.

“Bunnies, they are Earth animals about the size of… Hey, where are the DRD’s? Aren’t they supposed to clean this mess up?”

“Maybe they can’t keep up with all of Jool’s shedding. It’s disgusting.” Chiana made a face and glared at Jool. Jool just stuck her tongue out at Chiana in response.

“Pilot, where are the DRD’s?” Aeryn called over the com.

“Officer Sun, I do not know. They don’t seem to be anywhere. This is most puzzling. I will find out.” Pilot said.
                        ______________________________

Pilot called everyone to command. “I have found the DRD’s. They don’t want to clean up after you anymore. They don’t like the way they are being treated. They asked me to speak for them.” John laughed as pilot spoke. “They are quite serious John. This isn’t a laughing matter.” This sent John in convulsions of laughter, which made him inhale dust making him sneeze and choke. He turned a bright red.

“Pilot’s right John. This isn’t funny. I could disperse if I sneeze.” Stark said.

“Hey guys, don’t you see? Those little droids are on strike.” John choked back his laughter and turned to the console. “Pilot, what are their demands?”
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