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Disclaimer: Not mine, don’t own them, just borrowing for the moment, no profit either.
Time Frame: Future, about twelve years after Scorpius is defeated.
Acknowledgment: For beta reading – Runnik.
Warning: Not J/A shipper friendly!
Note: Ever since I wrote “Aniversary Dinner” (which is the beginning of this ficlet) and “A Purpose” I’ve become more intrigued with the idea of John Crichton finding a life without Aeryn Sun. This is an examination of a plausible outcome (in my view) if Aeryn continues to reject John as her lover. So humor me a bit here, I’m not a “Power That Be”, or know a “Power That Be” or are in anyway associated with a “Power That BE”. So we’ll start at the same place where Aniversary Dinner began, but I will fill it in (as some have requested) plus look back and see how it could have come to this.
John didn’t see her approach the table, his back was to the door. If he had he would have seen her frowning. He was fidgeting with his drink. <Damn, damn, damn….It’s ONLY our tenth wedding anniversary and she’s already half an arn late! Damn!>
“Hey” she kissed John lightly on the cheek as she slid besides him in the booth.
“Hey yourself.” John returned her kiss and moved to make room. “Were there any problems?”
“No, not really. I got caught up in some last minute issues and didn’t notice the time. Sorry I’m late. Are the girls all set?”
“Um, yes.” John absently stirred his drink with his finger and looked at his wife. “Something troubling you?”
“No, just some stuff at work. I need to put it out of my mind. So tell me, how was your day at the institute?”
“Interesting. They want me to refresh my wormhole research. But it’s been twelve cycles or more since I’ve done anything with it. I’m not sure that I …” John looked up to see a deep frown form between her eyebrows. “Does the issue have anything to do with me, Jena?”
“I never could put one past you, John. Yes, in an odd way it does. But tell me first, why did you …”
A waiter asking for their orders interrupted them. Jena did not pick up on her thoughts once the waiter left. “So you were saying…” John prompted.
“Why did you choose me and not Aeryn Sun? We only had that one brief encounter and then you were with Aeryn for at least three cycles before we got together. I could see you loved her very much.”
“Jena, I choose you. I love you very much. You know that, don’t you? You are my wife and the mother of our twins. I am very happy being with you and being a father.”
“But you still haven’t answered my question. Why did you leave Aeryn and come to me?”
“Because, as much as I wanted Aeryn, wanted to be her lover, she was quite adamant that we could only be friends. I needed more than friendship. I gave her many monens to change her mind, and when we ran into you after you had defected from the Peacekeepers, she effectively pushed me into your arms. I was always attracted to you, but I think if you had still been a disruptor, I would not have succumbed so easily. And I do not regret a single microt of our life together. Now what is going on?”
“Aeryn is here.” Jena said simply.
“Jena, don’t worry. I won’t leave you; I won’t leave our daughters. You are the one I want now. If this is why Aeryn is here she is too late, far too late.”
(Anniversary Dinner ended here as originally written.)
A waiter brought them their order and they began to eat in silence. The idea that Aeryn Sun could be here stunned John. He sat quietly picking at his food.
“John, a klopmir for your thoughts.” Jena could see the news disturbed her husband.
“I’m sorry, Darlin’. I just… I mean I… Oh hell, this is going to take a while, but there are some things I haven’t told you about my past that you need to know. It wasn’t important until now.
“You’ve always assumed that Aeryn and I were lovers and that the relationship soured and we drifted apart. I’m grateful that you haven’t pushed me for any details, now I want and need you to know them.
“The little group of us were drifting around the universe, basically trying to avoid any Peacekeeper patrols, and more specifically, avoid Scorpius when we came upon a derelict Leviathan that was hostage to a madman, Kaarvok. He somehow overcame all the Peacekeeper guards and ran the ship, duplicating the Peacekeepers to maintain a food supply. D’Argo, Chiana, Jool, and I were in a disabled Pod and we were forced to land on this Leviathan before we ran out of oxygen. We found the parts we needed to repair our Pod, but not without suffering some of the terrors of that ship. Before we escaped on our repaired Pod, Kaarvok had somehow duplicated me and we both returned to Moya with the others.”
Jena put her hand on John’s arm and looked directly into his eyes, “So, there are two John Cricton’s in the universe now? And are you identical?”
“No, there is only one of me, and yes we were identical. It was creepy you know. We should have been best buds, but instead we were instant rivals. We both wanted Aeryn Sun. While I was getting Xerox’d by Kaarvok, Moya received a distress call from Talyn and rushed over to find him near death with Crais in a coma. A retrieval squad had attacked them. We managed to get Talyn healed enough so we could split up, Talyn going in one direction, Moya in another. Otherwise, we would be sitting ducks for the squad. Aeryn Sun went with the other John, Crais, Stark, and Rygel on Talyn, and I stayed behind on Moya with the others..
“The short of it is, Aeryn and the other John became lovers, I ceased to exist for them. It’s the old outta sight, outta mind cliché. But this John died a hero, saving the universe from a terrible weapon, and he died in Aeryn’s arms. She was inconsolable. She couldn’t speak to me or look at me when she first came back to Moya. Gradually, she did warm to me, but it never went further than friendship. And she did try.
“My other had left me a message that mostly was concerned with preventing Scorpius from getting the weapon, but he also warned me not to rush Aeryn. ‘She takes time’ he said. I gave her time. I gave her nearly three cycles of time, and still that wasn’t enough. Also, I’m a scientist, and while Aeryn was content to wander about the universe picking up the odd thing to do here and there, I wasn’t. I needed to get to a research facility and return doing what I’ve been trained to do. She kept putting off looking for a facility until we came here. And when I found a place that would have me, and work that I wanted to do, she was reluctant to go along.
“I think it was a great relief to her to find you here, an up and coming politician. She contrived for us to meet ‘accidentally’. She very smartly made sure I was situated doing my research before announcing she was unhappy being planet bound. I told her to leave without me. The rest you know.” John hadn’t eaten and now the food was cold. < Happy anniversary. > He thought.
“John, let’s go home. You’re not eating, and I’ve lost my appetite. We can have dinner anytime. I think we need to find out why Aeryn is here.”
“Thank you Hon.”
“For what?”
“For listening, for standing by me, for who you are.” John signaled the waiter for the bill.
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“Hello, Aeryn. Jena told me you were here. How are you doing?” John couldn’t help seeing how tightly Aeryn was holding herself. Her posture ramrod straight, military style, her eyes avoiding his, looking past his right ear. She was still radiantly beautiful in his eyes.
“Thank you for seeing me, John. I… I need help. I think I’m turning into the bitter woman my mother was.” Aeryn sat down and looked at her hands.
John felt a gut-wrenching pang. He knew what it cost Aeryn to say, to ask for help. “What do you want me to do, Aeryn? How can I help you?”
“I’m not really sure, John. Ever since we went our separate ways, I’ve been wandering from planet to planet, sometimes staying in one place for a while, sometimes not. I don’t want to go back to the Peacekeepers, even if they would have me, and I haven’t found much in the way of anything meaningful to do.”
“What have you tried?” John was now the one of few words.
“That’s just it. I don’t know what to try. I keep replaying our conversation where you encouraged me to look for meaningful things to do, and I know with your help, I could do it. It is I who am lost without you.” Aeryn finally looked directly at John.
“Aeryn, you do know that I am married to Jenavia, and that we have two beautiful daughters and I love each with all my heart, don’t you? I’ll help you however I can as a friend, but no more than that.”
“Yes”
“How can I help you?”
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That’s it folks, don’t hurt me. The characters took me where they wanted to go. I merely transcribed their thoughts. This is where I see Aeryn’s continuous rejection of John leading to, though the use of Jenavia is not necessary, just convenient.
