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Mild Spoilers: DMD, SOD, Fractures
Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own ‘em, just please let me use your characters for a little while and I promise to return them as well as they began this ficlet. Thanks in advance.
Acknowledgement: To Runnik, for not only doing the beta reading (which is essential) but for all the encouragement and support (also essential). And if you think this voluntary job is easy, try it some time. It is a lot of work for which I am indebted to him.
Chiana saw John hunkered over the table, hardly moving. She debated whether she should interrupt when John stretched and stood up. He was unaware Chiana was behind him, so her appearance gave him quite a start when he turned.
“Pip! You’re gonna give me a heart attack! Will ya make more noise when you come into a room?” John’s face resumed its normal color; he smiled as he said the last.
“Oh, sorry.” Chiana giggled. “Whatch ya doin’?”
“I’ve been having these impressions, uh, thoughts kinda floating at the edge of my brain for quite some time. I think it started after my brain surgery. The images have gotten stronger.”
“Is it Harvey?” Chiana interrupted, worried about her friend.
“No—oo, I think they are memories from my past, on Earth. But I can’t quite grasp them. I thought if I got them down on paper, it would jog something in my head.” John sat back down and motioned Chiana to sit next to him. He slid the notebook towards her, revealing some new marks. Some things were crossed out.
“What’s this?” Chiana asked, pointing to a drawing. “It looks friendly.”
John frowned, staring at the drawing. “I’m not sure. I know it’s a dog, but I think I should know which dog.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think it may have been my pet, maybe when I was a child. I know I had dogs, but their memory eludes me. On Earth, especially in my culture, dogs were considered to be man’s best friend. They’re real pals. They are always there for you, never critical. They always accept you for who you are. I thought if I drew these images, I would be able to remember. *I need to remember*.” At the last, John looked both confused and sad.
“Come walk with me.” Chiana stood and put her hand on John’s shoulder. “Tell me what you can remember.”
“Ya, thanks Pip, that’s a good idea.” John walked out with Chiana, the notebook open. His voice faded as they left the room. Neither was aware of Aeryn watching from the shadows.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Need to Remember, Part 2
John woke up with a start. He could almost feel his dog’s cold muzzle against his face. He remembered! He also remembered Bo died long ago, and he wasn’t in Kansas anymore. But what was that cold wetness pressing against his cheek? Opening his eyes slowly, he could see the water container had tipped and the little remaining water had spilled onto his pillow. *Oh well, no harm done, AND it helped me remember.* John thought. *Um, time for a shower, better get up and get moving.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He saw Aeryn coming toward him in the corridor. He desperately wanted to speak to her, and yet he couldn’t think of anything to say that wasn’t banal or hurtful. And he could see she would not make eye contact with him, as usual. But what was going on? Her hair was not in its characteristic tight braid; it hung loosely, framing her fair skin, making her impossibly more beautiful than he could remember. An old folk song came unbidden into his mind, ‘Black is the color of my true love’s hair’. *I will serenade her.* He thought.
Black is the color of my true love's hair
Her lips are like some rosy fair
The purest eyes and the neatest hands
I love the ground whereon she..
Aeryn stopped and looked at John like he had two heads. “What are you doing?”
*She’s looking at me, that’s a start* John thought. “I’m singing for you. It’s an old folk song that I just remembered, and….” John stopped when he saw Aeryn looking away.
Aeryn spoke, not making eye contact. “John, you are right. We should talk. Just not now. And that song, I’d like to hear it later.” Aeryn walked away.
John was elated and he had an idea. He needed D’Argo’s help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“John, I’m not sure I can find those notes. Your scale is different from mine.” D’Argo was trying to match the Shilquen to the folk song.
“Maybe you have to tune it differently. It sounds a lot like a cross between an electric guitar and a lute to me.” In theory, John knew something about music, but he didn’t know how to translate between different Earth scales, let alone for a Luxan Shilquen. But he had fiddled with a guitar in his youth, so he was willing to try his hand at a Shilquen, a stringed instrument, after all. “Will you let me try to tune it for this song?” John asked.
“I guess so. Have you used any instruments like it?” D’Argo moved from behind the Shilquen and showed John how to hold it and tune it.
“I fooled around on a guitar. It’s much smaller but you pluck it like a guitar. Maybe I can do it.” John began trying to find middle C, an impossible task, as he had no reference point. After spending many microts trying, he completely detuned the Shilquen. D’Argo was doubled over laughing; the sound was so terrible.
“Ha Ha Ha, John, *gasp* I better do it. Just keep singing the song, I’ll tune it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What’s the surprise John?” Chiana asked while John finished cleaning up from dinner.
“Everyone, D’Argo and I have been working on this song I remembered. D’Argo was able to get the Shilquen tuned.” John turned around to see D’Argo placing the instrument so he could play it. It’s an old folk tune from Earth called ‘Black is the color of my true loves hair.’
“Yotz! You are fahrbot! Is that those awful sounds I heard earlier?” Rygel was ready to flee.
“Take it easy Sparky, we just had some trouble tuning the Shilquen. It sounds good now.” John looked over at D’Argo for a confirming nod as he reassured Rygel. “Aeryn, this is dedicated to you.”
Black is the color of my true love's hair
Her lips are like some rosy fair
The purest eyes and the neatest hands
I love the ground whereon she stands
I go to the Clyde for to mourn and weep
But satisfied I never can sleep
I'll write to you in a few short lines
I'll suffer death ten thousand times
I know my love and well she knows
I love the grass whereon she goes
If she on earth no more I see
My life will quickly fade away
A winter's past and the leaves are green
The time has past that we have seen
But still I hope the time will come
When you and I will be as one
Black is the color of my true love's hair
Her lips are like some rosy fair
The purest eyes and the neatest hands
I love the ground whereon she stands.
As the last notes from the Shilquen faded, John looked around. Everyone was quiet. He thought he saw Aeryn’s eyes glisten with tears.
Jool broke the silence, “John, that was lovely. What other Earth songs can you sing for us? I’d like to hear them.” There were general nods of approval.
Pilot spoke over the com’s. “Moya thanks you for the music, as do I.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In ones and twos, every one drifted out until only Crais, John, and Aeryn were left. Crais looked from John to Aeryn and saw pain in both their eyes. “I hesitate to intrude. You must speak to each other. Else, we have no hope for success against Scorpius.” Crais turned and left.
“Crais is right, Aeryn. But more than that, you have to know I am John Crichton, the same John Crichton as I’ve always been. And it’s been really weird for me. I feel like I’m in competition with myself, and I’m contending with a hero who I can never live up to. I feel as though I hardly knew the other, and at the same time, I knew him intimately. I’ve lost too. I’ve lost a brother that I never had and I’ve lost a part of me. I can’t lose you too.”
As much as she tried to control her emotions, Aeryn Sun finally cried, openly. John put a tentative hand on her shoulder, and when he wasn’t rejected, held her and comforted her. Her tears waning, Aeryn spoke in such a soft voice, John strained to hear her. “I feel so guilty. I feel guilty about pretending that you didn’t exist. I feel guilty that I lived. I feel guilty that I have been cruel to you. And I am very angry that he died and frelling left me alive.”
“Aeryn, I know your training, your upbringing doesn’t cover this. Let me help you. What you are going through is normal; at least that is what I’ve been taught. While it was different, I went through much the same thing when my Mom died. But I finally accepted her death. I still miss her, but it is not with the same ferocity that I experienced when it first happened. Now I am able to have good memories. You will experience the same, I’m sure. I’ll be here for you, I promise.”
“Right.
“What were you showing Chiana last night in you notebook?” Aeryn sat straight, regaining her normal expression. She was still talking though John indicated he would not stop her if she wished to leave.
John held his tongue; he did not ask where she was that she knew about his conversation with Chiana, and about the notebook. “I lost some memories in the surgery, but it seems not completely. I guess the mind is more plastic than I knew. I started getting incomplete memories of dogs, pets I had growing up. I’d get visual images, so I thought if I drew them they would help me remember.”
“Did it?”
“Yes.”
“Show me, I’d like to see them.”
* Aeryn is going to be all right! * John thought as they left to retrieve the notebook.
