{Pyro explodes from the ceiling as the last show before Aftermath comes on the air. The fiery snakes twist and turn, then scream downwards towards the fans, only to pull back up and continue along the wire tracks until the inevitable explosion over the stage. Fires rage around the arena, and the stage pumps out huge plumes of orange, blue, and green fire. The camera's spin through the crowd, catching a few of the better signs.....
"Glad I thought of it!"
"Bet ya 5 bucks......"
"UAW is under a BAD INFLUENCE"
"Eel Cage!"
"NMW Sucks Goat Nads"
"X-Pac sucks more than NMW"
The camera's turn back and come to rest on the announcers behind their table.}

Daniel Carson: Welcome to Deathmatch 36! Airing just prior to Aftermath this weekend! The atmosphere is electric, and with good reason. Aftermath is shaping up to be a shocker. The Main Event was signed earlier tonight. It's going to be Ogre Vs. Rush Man Vs. Tim Lawson!

Terry Carter: What about Jordan Garski and Bates Masterson?

Daniel Carson: Evidentally those two have issues with each other, not to mention some other phenomenol matches for this PPV, but let's run the card for tonioght.....

Match 1. Nothing.....

Daniel Carson: Nothing?! What the hell?!

Terry Carter: I guess the boys have been too busy focusing on the PPV this weekend. Besides, ya can't blame the pansy's for not wanting to get injured

Daniel Carson: Yeah, but NOTHING??

Terry Carter: I agree, it's pretty bad

Daniel Carson: How in the GREEN hell, do they expect us to beat NMW without anything to get us any ratings?!

Terry Carter: Well it *IS* only NMW, it's not like it's a real fed or anything

Daniel Carson: Are you aware that our TV provider is considering cutting us and giving them our time slot?

Terry Carter: Those bastards! We'll be fired!

Daniel Carson: Damn straight

{Terry climbs up onto the announcers table and grabs a microphone}

Terry Carter: HELL NO WE WON'T GO! HELL NO WE WON'T GO!

{As he continues his chant, recieving a very confused look from the crowd, Daniel sweeps Terry's legs out from under him and he falls backwards, landing in his chair.}

Daniel Carson: Calm down, that isn't gonna help, but this might. We've got Xtreme in the back right now

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{Brian Johnson is standing next to Xtreme and Queen. Johnson faces the camera and starts talking.}

Brian Johnson: Xtreme, you asked for this air time?

Xtreme: Damn right. Here's the deal, I'm checking over the lists - and I don't see Xtreme's name on the card list. This is a problem. So I've come here to issue a true challenge to all the supposed Xtreme members of the UAW Roster. I, The KING OF XTREME, challenge all of you. A free-for-all Japanese Deathmatch

{The crowd explodes into cheers}

Brian Johnson: We haven't had a deathmatch on UAW Yet, I don't know if Rymiel will allow it

Queen Xtreme: He should Brian

{Queen leans on Xtreme, one arm draped across his shoulders}

Queen Xtreme: You see, if he wants ratings. If he wants to WIN. Then he knows what he's got to do - give the fans what they want

{The crowd cheers insanely}

Brian Johnson: Which is blood and explosions?

{The bloodthirsty crowd cheers again}

Xtreme: Exactly Johnson, and above all else Rymiel knows that there's one man in the UAW who can guarantee to keep them coming back for mre. And that man is me. This offer is open to anyone who wants in. In particular I challenge Strife, Slayer, and Omen. Let's see if you boys can attempt to beat me.

Queen Xtreme: Be warned though, the Japanese Deathmatch is the most brutal contest in the world. Explosives, barbed wire, fire..... all wrapped into one neat package. So you boys better make sure your brave enough to even try it. First man to piss his pants *I* is get beat down.

{Xtreme laughs}

Xtreme: We're done Johnson, thanks

Brian Johnson: No problem, good luck this weekend

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Daniel Carson: That was impressive, a possible 4-man Japanese Deathmatch!

Terry Carter: If that doesn't get ratings, nothing will!!

{Suddenly, "Points of Authority", by Linkin Park hits.}

Daniel Carson: Killer Bee?! What's he doing out here?

Terry Carter: Maybe making a challenge of his own

{KillerBee walks out through the curtains, still wearing street clothes, and makes his way down to the ring. On the walk the fans are booing loudly, throwing, and even spitting at him - but he just walks right through ignoring them. KB makes it to the ring and takes his sweet ass time getting in. Finally he moves over and snags a microphone from the ring announcer.}

KillerBee: Well I see all the trailer trash came out for this show......

{The crowd intensifies it's boos}

KillerBee: Whatever, I'm not here for you losers. I'm here to answer a challenge

Daniel Carson: Who'se challenged him?

KillerBee: A few moments ago, I saw Xtreme challenge anyone to a Japanese Deathmatch...... I'm in.....

{The crowd pops loudly}

KillerBee: And I'll tell you why. Because since I came here I've been beaten. I've been beaten again and again, but you know what. That's only made me stronger, everytime I take a beating and get back up I know what it feels like. And the next time I can ignore it. You've all seen me! You've seen me take the worse beatings this federation and dish out, and I got up again. I'm going to be the nightmare all of you people fear, the one man who NO ONE can take down. And it all starts now. That deathmatch will be the most dangerous, damaging match the UAW has even had........ and when the dust settles, that'll be one more incredible beating - win or lose - that I've taken. Soon.... heh.... soon none of you will be able to stop me.

{The crowd boos loudly}

KillerBee: Ever heard of the Iron Body form of Kung Fu? It's a strengthening of the bones and a deadening of nerves. The monks and practitioners do this by submitting their body to beatings a lesser man would die from. Kendo sticks to the shins for hours, the kind of pain most of you can only dream about. Since I came to the UAW that's what I've been recieving. And standing before you is the nearly completed version, the Iron Warrior. And, when Aftermath comes to close - be prepared for the Year of the Bee

{"Points of Authority" hits again, and KB climbs out of the ring, leaving backstage as the crowd boos even louder.}

Daniel Carson: KB is already a tank, imagine if he's right

Terry Carter: He will be unstoppable

Daniel Carson: He's pretty close now, he's taken the worst hits from some of the biggest stars and still kicked out

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{The scene cuts to the loading dock. A huge semi is slowly backing up to the bay. Along the side of the truck it reads, "Phils SuperFresh Seafood". The truck slowly moves in then stops as it bumps the stopper pad. Immediately activity can be seen as people start opening the doors and wheeling out big glass containers. The camera moves in and we can see Outcast standing around watching the crew.}

Outcast: Careful! Careful with those!

Worker: Yes sir......

Outcast: Where's the driver?

Driver: Right here, what's up?

Outcast: You made it in the deadline, I'm impressed

Driver: Teamsters always deliver

Outcast: Damn good job, and they're all alive?

Driver: Every last one of the slimy bastards

Outcast: Beautiful! Thank you!

Driver: No problem, I love that Hooligan guy, he's a damn riot

Outcast: Indeed he is

{Outcast turns to face the camera, and leans against one of the glass tanks, water sloshes around inside.}

Outcast: Hooligan, you beat me, so your getting your match. You want an Eel Cage, and your getting it buddy!

{Outcast pulls the cover off a tank and scoops a net in, pulling out three very large, and very upset Eels}

Outcast: Direct import from the rainy shores of your home country, England! The European Eel!!! And these bad boys have quite an attitude

{The eels slide and swipe around wildly, trying to escape}

Outcast: I haven't worked out the construction yet, but I have four drunk men drinking around the clock in an attempt to make your dream a reality! This is yet one more step in my reign as the supreme Spirit Champion! I will beat you in your own match Hooligan! I will prove to the world that I am the BEST, totally completely SO the Best!!

{Outcast returns the Eels to the tank and smiles}

Outcast: See you Sunday Hooligan

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Daniel Carson: I think he lost it

Terry Carter: Do you ever think he had it?

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{Ogre is sitting in his lockerroom, relaxed in a large overstuffed chair watching a movie on the TV. Britain E is in the chair with him, apparantly quite deeply in thought concerning her own hair - which she holds between two fingers.}

Britain E: Ogre, how'd ya convince tha ole bastard Rymiel to give you yer match?

Ogre: Don't worry about that

{The scene changes to Rymiel's office, which is totally destroyed. Desks broken, holes in the walls, the light hangs by one wire as the other sparks. The window is shattered, Rymiel's chair is upturned and ripped in half. And somewhere among the debri one of the boss's legs can be seen over a particularly smashed bookcase. There's a groan and some of the books shift}

Ogre: It's not important anyway.....

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{Bates Masterson is sitting in his lockerroom, Insatia in the background as he starts picking up clothes that are scattered about. Bates smoothes his hair back, and opens his mouth to say something - but he's interrupted as the door bursts open and Jordan Garski charges in, hitting him in the face with a chair! Garski spuns and throws the chair, it catches Insatia in the kisser and drops her as well. Garski kneels over Bates, and pops him in the face once more before grabbing a handful of hair and yanking his head back.}

Jordan Garski: Bates..... you screwed me out of that title again. AGAIN! I'm not letting you go.... your not getting away with it..... you wanted to start a war, here's your goddamn war boy.......

{Bates rolls over onto his knees, he feebly swings at Garski - but Jordan kicks him in the head, sending Bates back to the floor.}

Jordan Garski: That championship is mine Bates, and I'll get it. Finally I'll be the Arena champion, but that's AFTER I destroy you bitch

{Garski grabs Bates and hurls him across the room into the wall, Bates turns and hits back first - slumping against the wall.}

Jordan Garski: Understand how it works Masterson, you screw me out of the title - I kill you. No..... better yet..... make sure that Stronghold Championship is shined up nice and good for me Bates. Because at Aftermath - I'm taking it from you. You name the match - Cage or Cell. I don't care, but I'll take that title from you. I'll destroy you and be ONE step closer to being the Golden Champion I know I should be.....

{Garski pulls Bates off the wall and sets him up, hitting the Golden Gauntlet (Insiders Edge) onto the wooden bench! The bench breaks and one side is flung away. Bates lays there, convulsing lightly. Garski get's up and laughs, then turns and starts to leave, when a broken-voiced Bates stops him.}

Bates Masterson: See you.... at Af....termath........... bitch.................

{Garski smirks and leaves, Bates collapses back to the ground}

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Daniel Carson: That was pretty brutal

Terry Carter: I love it, if only for a moment, I wish we had more

Daniel Carson: it seems you'll have all you can handle sunday

Terry Carter: SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Daniel Carson: Well hell..... is that all we have today?

Terry Carter: It seems so

Daniel Carson: Wow.... short show, we still have an hour and a half of airtime

Terry Carter: We'll fill it with Simpson's reruns - everyone loves the Simpsons

Daniel Carson: Which ones?

Terry Carter: Hmmm, Bart's Daredevil days, Homer's Fat Workman's Comp, and probably one of the Sideshow Bob shows

Daniel Carson: Good choices

Terry Carter: I know, right?

Daniel Carson: Well so everyone's ready let's run the card for Aftermath

Match 1. Japanese Deathmatch. Xtreme Vs. KillerBee Vs ??? Vs. ??? Vs. ???
Match 2. Stronghold Championship. Bates Masterson Vs. "The Golden God" Jordan Garski
Match 3. Tag Match. HardKore & Hazard Vs. Jeff Martin & Mr. Electricity
Match 4. Survival Championship. Chris Moore Vs. "Above Average" Josh Reetz
Match 5. Spirit Championship - Eel Cage. Hooligan Vs. Outcast (c)
Match 6. Arena Championship. Ogre Vs. Rush Man Vs. "Bad Influence" Tim Lawson (c)

Daniel Carson: Goodnight folks, see you sunday..... now where are those Simpson episodes?.....