Chapter 13: Tired! It's 2:08 AM and I'm still going.
"Tolland Self Defense Forces? Who are you kidding?" Dave said.
"We are highly trained soldiers with up to date equipment," the mobile suit leader said.
"You don't even have Gundams," Dave said.
"We don't need gundams! Open fire!" The mobile suit leader shouted and they did just that.
Dave grinned and formed an energy shield.
"We could have just jumped out of the way," Ravi said.
"This is cooler, and now," Dave said. "Elmekia lance!"
A mobile suit exploded. It's pilot fell to the ground unconscious.
"I spare your lives for unimportant reasons," Dave said.
The other two mobile suits dived towards him firing.
"Ravi, it's all yours," Dave said.
"Oh..uh..good," Ravi said and shot forward. His Katana hit one of the mobile suits in several places. The suit exploded.
"Excellent!" Dave said and blasted the other suit apart.
"Tolland Self Defense forces my ass," Dave said.
"You have not faced me yet!" came a shout. The two whirled.
Elsewhere.
"So how long have you been married?" Luke asked.
"Not long," Gourry said. "I met Ranma at a singles bar eight months ago. It was love at first sight."
The two hugged and snuggled.
"O....kay," Luke said.
"So you like your grits?" Gourry asked.
"They're tasty," Luke lied, but continued to eat.
"Well it's time to cut some more wood," Gourry said and headed out.
Luke continued to eat.
"What a life?" Ranma moaned.
"What do you mean?" Luke said.
"Well you see," Ranma said and poured a cup of hot water over him, instantly changing into a man. "I've always been a man first."
"Oh," Luke said trying to control his surprise. This is an unexpected development.
"You see I don't like being cursed like this, and I've been stuck reverting to a woman every time I get splashed with cold water."
"But then why did you.."
"Go to a singles bar and meet Gourry?"
"Uh huh."
"I went as a man, and then well, that night..it's a bad night!" Ranma said. "I don't know what happened."
"You don't remember?"
"No..it's not that, I do, but somehow I just, became a woman, and Gourry was just...handsome..I..don't know I was..messed up," Ranma said.
"But you married him?" Luke asked.
"That was a mistake, I see that now," Ranma said.
"Uh....you see that..now?" Luke asked.
"Oh..it's hard for you to understand, but...actually, I think I'm just going to have to kill you, it's too hard for me to bear the thought of someone knowing my story, when Gourry doesn't."
Ranma dumped a bucket of cold water over his head.
"Let's not act hastily here," Luke said.
"No," Ranma said pulling a sword off the wall. "This is necessary."
"Okay..bad timing for me, but uh I've got powers, I'll defend myself," Luke said.
"Try me!" Ranma said shooting forward.
"Uh...energy..attack," Luke stammered in surprise and blasted Ranma through a wall.
"What the!" Gourry said. "What are you doing!"
"She..attacked me," Luke said.
"I doubt it," Gourry said pulling a sword from it's hilt. "Sword of Light come forth!" he shouted. Instantly a light sword formed in his hand.
"Oh..that looks impressive," Luke said.
"It is," Gourry said. "Now you shall pay for harming my lovely wife! I do not like men who beat up on women! I don't like you either because of those sideburns, but I was willing to let that slide before you blasted my beloved Ranma through a wall."
"Well if you insist, all right," Luke said and readied another energy attack.
Having recovered from the "battle" with Kodachi or more accurately,
from the shock of hearing her twisted story the girls continued on in the direction the pendant had pointed. Ahead they heard a few explosions and thought they'd arrived. However, when they arrived at the battleground they were dismayed at what they saw. "I shall be the strongest in the Universe," Vegeta boasted. "No, I am the strongest. You will never beat me monkey," Frieza retorted. "Yes I will." "No you won't." "We'll see won't we." "Yes we will." "I will destroy you Frieza." "Bring it on monkey boy." "At least I'm not gay," Vegeta responded. "Um I think we got the wrong battle," Myra said. "Maybe you should have specified which battle when you invoked the mystical powers of the pendant" Nicole said looking at Michelle. "Oh, yeah..maybe.." Michelle said sheepishly.
There was only one real highway which lead up to Uconn, that would be route 195. Somewhere halfway along there between Tolland and Uconn. Kenny emerged from a forest to find himself standing on the roadside. He still held his proton cannon from before.
"Hey!" Came a shout. Kenny looked to find Brian standing directly across the road from him glowing with energy.
"You wanna fight?" Brian asked.
"Here?" Kenny asked. "This isn't practical!"
Several cars shot by.
"Oh come on, this is great," Brian said and shot an energy comet at Kenny. Kenny fired his rifle. The energies met and exploded in the middle of 195. Several cars swerved to a stop realizing this was bad thing to be involved in. Soon traffic was stopped on both sides.
"See, no problem," Brian said.
"I'm not sure how to respond to that," Kenny said. "But all right let's go to it."
Brian began to grunt and build his power. Kenny let the gun recharge.
Nakago had managed to round up the rest of Dave's forces including the seven, er...four seishi and was walking back towards campus. They had been blasted fairly far off campus and only know were beginning to see the various buildings of UCONN's agricultural school coming into view.
The Agricultural School, was the foundation on which the university had been built. The college had begun as a school for studying manure and later evolved into the far reaching University of today, which was widely renowned for it's ability to study similar excrement.
The Ag School itself was located on the outskirts of the main campus and thus was actually quite close to the Towers dormitories. While constantly under federal investigation, the Ag school has been able to gain quite a reputation for itself and has several different divisions of teaching, as a result of this is has about as many academic buildings as the rest of campus does. They're just smaller and smellier. Needless to say, the evil horde emerging from the fields beyond were greeted with the sites of the various buildings that made up the Ag school, and it was never a pretty site.
"Hey, Nakago," his roommate Phil said. "I'm thinking about throwing a kegger this Friday. You in?"
"Hmm..maybe," Nakago said. "I'll have to see what I'm in the mood for."
"All right," Phil said. "Rock the cazbah."
The groups attention was soon turned to the massive explosion that engulfed on of the many Ag School buildings.
"Oh..that looks interesting," Nakago said with a grin.
Nearby in a police car.
"To all UC police units, boomer sighted at the Ag school," came the squawk of the radio.
"That's us," Wong said.
"Yeah, yeah, so it is," Leon said. "Wonder what's this all about."
"Good question, let's have sex."
"Bloody hell," Leon shouted and hit the accelerator.
The car sped towards the Ag School.
Dave and Ravi starred at their new challenger.
"And you are?" Dave asked.
"My name is Himura Kenshin," the new opponent replied. "I protect the innocent from evil such as yourself."
"Is the mediocre worth your time? Because I fall under that category," Dave said.
"That does not matter," Kenshin said.
"I'll handle this," Ravi said. "I've been looking for a real opponent for some time, and this random swordsman who happened by should provide a challenge."
"Ehh..whatever," Dave said and flew off.
Kenshin's eyes narrowed. Ravi readied himself.
At last a real opponent. He thought.
The ignominious Ravi. We meet at last. Kenshin thought.
"Fireball!" Luke shouted. Gourry cut the attack in two with his light sword.
Well I'm not prepared for this then. Luke though and avoided Gourry's lunge at him.
"Can't we discuss this!" Luke said.
"The time for discussion was before you blasted my wife through the wall."
"She's a man you know!"
"What?"
"Yeah..sure dump some warm water on her!"
Gourry stopped and did just that to the unconscious Ranma. Sure enough she turned into a he.
"Well..how about that," Gourry said and whirled. "You cannot escape my wrath!"
"But.." Luke said.
Gourry swung at him. Luke dodged it.
"I fight for honor and simplicity. Right now I just don't have the time to figure out what exactly is going on, but by killing you I think I'll be able to bring things under control here."
"Doesn't anyone have a good reason for wanting to kill me?" Luke shouted.
195
"You ready!" Brian shouted.
"Oh yeah!" Kenny shouted.
"Bam!" Brian shouted launching a massive barrage of energy.
Kenny fired his cannon. The two attacks blew apart and knocked them both back into the forests they had emerged from. Both of them stood up and moved back towards where they were standing.
"That really didn't settle anything," Kenny said.
"No it didn't," Brian said. "Wanna arm wrestle?"
"Yeah, all right," Kenny said.
The girls were continuing their search for Luke and Dave, as they walked, conversing lightly about the battle between Frieza and Vegeta.
"My God, don't they ever stop throwing insults at each other!" Michelle complained.
"Yeah really, they almost drew us in with that hypnotic banter," Myra added.
"You'd think they would just get on with it," Nicole said.
Walking along they came across a random field with a huge crater.
"They've got to be here somewhere," Michelle said.
"What do you think is up with that crater there?" Myra asked.
"That wasn't there before," Nicole noticed.
"Maybe they blew themselves up," Michelle said. "Wouldn't surprise me, it would be the appropriate poetic justice."
"Those idiots," Myra said.
"Indeed they are," Kami said walking up. "But then again, this is all right, a little harmless assassination attempts will help build character and skill."
"What exactly are you talking about?" the three asked.
"Long story," Kami said. "Essentially, these battles will prepare them all for a greater battle."
"What kind of greater battle?" Myra asked.
"That is not for you to know," Kami said and vanished.
"Damnit, Tysails-mann wasn't there!" Lina burst out.
"Oh ho, Lina, it's your fault for leading us to the wrong place," Naga smirked. "And besides, you wouldn't have been able to retrieve his amulet of power anyway."
"What!!" shouted Lina angrily.
"Oh yes, you know only I would have had the prowess to retrieve it," Naga answered.
Lina and Naga suddenly emerged into the clearing from the cave they had just exited, arguing all the while. Without paying any attention, they almost bumped into Nicole, Myra and Michelle. Right before they would have walked over them, Michelle cleared her voice.
"Huh?" exclaimed Naga and Lina, stopping in mid-step.
"Oh, excuse us," Naga said politely. "Ohohohohoho"
"Umm, yeah, that's ok," Myra stammered.
As Lina and Naga were about to leave, Nicole asked quickly,
"Hey, have you seen two guys trying to kill each other?"
Lina and Naga glanced at each other, puzzled. Suddenly Lina snapped her fingers and said loudly,
"Were they kinda dorky looking?"
The girls nodded.
"Was one of them wearing a cape?" Lina continued.
The girls nodded again.
"Hmmm" Lina thought for a few moments.
"They might have been the two that you're looking for then. I seem to remember two idiots fighting when we first arrived at the cave."
"So what happened to them?" Michelle asked.
"Oh, I blew them up. They were in the way after all." Lina answered.
"Which direction did they go?" Nicole asked.
"They flew off in that direction" replied Naga pointing in a direction. She then began laughing hysterically.
As the girls moved in that direction.
"Wow, those two are weird," Michelle remarked.
Nicole and Myra agreed.
"Well come on," Michelle said. "We've gotta find Luke and Dave before they kill each other."
"They're probably already dead or something," Nicole said. "We've been at this for an hour."
"We still have to try," Myra said.
The three started running.
"I hope we're heading in the right direction this time," Nicole said.
"That's what my pendant is saying," Michelle said.
"I'm beginning to get sick of that pendant," Nicole said.
A ribbon flashed out quickly and wrapped around her leg.
"Wha.."
She was thrown up into the air.
"FUCK!" she shouted.
"Nicole!" The other two shouted as they slid to a stop. Their eyes narrowed.
"You'll not escape me so easily," Kodachi intoned landing on the ground in front of them.
"Damn, she's persistent," Michelle said. She hurriedly readied her staff and assumed a fighting stance.
"Oh no," Myra said with a deadly tone. "Let me." Then she posed with her fan and used it to accentuated her words as she said," Kodachi, you whacked out bitch! I will not forgive you for clubbing me on the head. In the name of Justice, I will punish you!"
Kodachi just laughed and threw a barrage of clubs at the two. Michelle shot forward and spun her staff. The clubs were blasted away.
Myra raised "her" iron fan and shouted angrily, "Lekka Shinen!"
Fire streamed from the fan and Kodachi, who was already looking pretty beat up, was hit yet again by an incredible attack. Screaming loudly as she caught fire, Kodachi was blasted away again.
"That'll teach her to go around bashing people in the head with clubs," Myra muttered angrily.
Nicole wandered up brushing some dirt off of her.
"You okay?" Michelle asked.
"Sure," Nicole said clearly not meaning it. "This is going to be a long day I see, let's keep moving so we can encounter yet more stupidity shall we?"
"No time for sarcasm! We've gotta go," Myra said and hurried forward. Michelle followed.
"There's always time for sarcasm!" Nicole shouted.
Meanwhile the boomer Ray had dispatched was trashing a barn.
Leon and Daily hopped out of their car as the rest of the UC police was pulling up.
"Let's take care of this sucker fast and easy," Leon said pulling out a large gun.
"Are you actually going to try to use that first before we take some casualties?" Wong asked.
"Yeah sure, why not?" Leon said and advanced.
The boomer realized he was there and turned.
"Hi," Leon said and fired a shot. It bounced off of the boomer without even leaving a scratch.
"Well I'm done," Leon said and walked off. The boomer just stared at the police and continued to trash the barn.
"It seems to have been ready for me or for that matter anything," Leon said.
"I noticed," Daily said. "But what is it up to?
"No idea," Leon said.
"So what do we do next?"
"Let it get tired and see what we can do from there," Leon said.
"Do they get tired?"
"Probably," Leon said.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"
"I can leave you know," Leon said.
"Well..you really aren't helping things," Wong said.
"If that's how you feel fine," Leon muttered and left.
"Oh...well..that's uh..not good, but," Wong said. "Any of you other guys have a plan here."
The UC police officers shook their head.
"Well, then it's unanimous," Wong said.
The boomer blew up The Ratcliffe Hicks building without a second thought sending students scurrying everywhere.
"Well we've got do something," Wong said.
"Ehh..why, maybe it just has a beef with the Ag school guys," One of the officers said. "We just let it run it's course and.."
The boomer fired right at them. They all ducked.
"Well the Ag school still sucks," the officer said.
"That's not the point, how do we stop this guy!" Wong shouted. "Does anyone know where Captain Hajime is?"
"Nope," the group replied.
And the boomer advanced straight towards them.
"Guys I got this covered," came a voice. They all turned to see former NFL quarterback Boomer Esiason hurry up.
"Are you sure about this?" Wong asked.
"I'm a boomer too you know," Esiason said stupidly.
"He's all yours," Wong said. Esiason rushed forward and was instantly punched in the face by the boomer and knocked to the ground unconscious.
"So much for that plan," Wong said. "Any other ideas?"
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12