Campaign Against Children Working

Organisation For Failing Idle Children Everywhere (OFFICE)

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Cultural Roots

In many third world countries, people expect children to actually do something "worthwhile" rather than watch TV, play super-violent video games and nag their parents for the latest plastic figurine.

A Decent Education

We believe these children should be put in schools, to be indoctrinated with government propaganda and download internet pornography, not be trained to do character building work. Our school system, furthermore, will not teach any blue collar skills, but will rather prepare them to be the materialistic lazy spoiled western bureaucrats we all love and adore.

The Hard Facts

You may know that in third world countries children are expected to pull 10 percent of their own weight, but did you know that in Western countries many children actually do work other than the study of government propaganda filtered through the education system? Yes, in some parts of Britain and even the USA, dictatorial parents force their children to do demeaning chores like helping to wash the dishes, mow the lawn, or even, horror horror, take out the disease infested trash.

Third World America

They even take advantage of school holidays to make children do even more non-brainwashing work. One case in Tampa, Florida USA the family expected all the children not only to clean up after themselves, but also after adult guests! They had to vacuum, put eating utensils into a machine, and even write a thank you note to the guests who created this work for them! What's worse, these guests were blood relatives of the children, who had encouraged such demeaning labour in their own children, the parents of these poor unfortunates.

Unfair Pay

And the wages, these children were paid a meagre "allowance" that wouldn't even pay for the eight to ten year olds (yes below the legal working age of twelve) involved to buy their own transport. Instead, they were mocked with model or toy cars that they were expected to amuse themselves with until the parents could think up another horrendous chore.

Government Backing of Child Labour

But we can't completely blame the parents, its society's fault as well. When we at the Organisation For Failing Idle Children Everywhere (OFFICE) tried to take this to court, the judge laughed at us! He then bragged about his own hard-working seed who earn their own pocket money as childminders (sometimes given the more innocent sounding name of babysitters), serving in plantations under the hot Florida sun ("mowing gardens for the neighbours" of the summer home, as the heartless father put it), and as seasonal day labourers (often dismissed as "odd summer jobs like helping out with a car boot sale"). This from someone meant to be upholding the laws protecting children!

Human Rights

In another case, children were denied the basic human rights of ice cream, television viewing and blasting rap music to wake up the neighbours until they completed all the chores their parents could think up!

Deperate Measures

How can we change this? We can do this by eliminating poverty. Every family needs to be given enough money to have it's own personal army of male robot servants to cook, clean, and look after babies while their mothers pursue a twenty four hours a day career. Women and children should never be expected to do real work, let alone break a sweat, that's what Portuguese barbarians like Vasco Phillip de Sousa are for. And with advancing technology, we can even kill him and replace him with an android someday soon.

Appeal

Help us get to the ideal world where every woman and children spends 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in front of a computer or television screen.

To achieve this, we need funds for the following projects:

 

To help us with our goals, send us money and lots of it.

Roots | Education | Facts | Third World | Government Oppression | Rights | Despair | Appeal | Dragon Polytechnic | Student Union | Clubs | top

* Don't worry, they won't be expected to actually do any of this paper work, forbid they might break a nail!
Rather, in the name of "Equal Opportunity," they come to the office and gossip about the latest soap opera at the tax payer's expense.

©2001 Vasco Phillip de Sousa

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