Web Pages That Suck: Do you want to make a web page that sucks as much as this one? Or find out why our web page sucks so much? A Brit and an American fight over the intricacies of stupid pages to help desperate Wannabes make pages that compete with the big boys. And they advise the Big Boys on how to really crush those desperate wannabes.
Beginning Java 2 By Ivor Horton: Because our lecturers are so fond of the dry monotone style of the American Ivy leagues, we suggest you learn Java from this book instead. This brief (1233 page) introduction to the computer language that helped destroy the American economy contains practical assignments that actually teach you to create those annoying little pop-up animations that stall your browser with the "Java still loading" message.
Java 2 Exam Cram: With the increasing unemployment of computer science graduates, its good to be able to bluff your way into knowing the language without practical experience. This short (about 200 odd pages) book teaches you the types of things on Sun's certification exam well enough to have the confidence to do the job well, provided you first read the other mammoth Java 2 book on our reading list.
Using Books Properly: Not all our students actually read the books on the reading list. In fact, many students buy the books or check them out from the library for the entire term without even bothering to flip the pages to look for pictures. Some students believe in putting the book under their pillow and hoping the information will seep into their heads overnight. Learning by osmosis is, in fact, the most popular form of study at our institution.
We understand that even students who can read don't read anything except for the first two questions on the sample exams, which is why we have our exam questions in the same order every year. We understand that university is not about learning everything in the syllabus, but rather it's for doing as little as possible while you can still sponge off of your parents. Thus to replace the "open book" tests for literate students, our illiterates get an open hand as well.
Cheating:
But rather than comply entirely, we have listed some of our favourite movies.*
Terminator 2: The first of the Terminator movies dwelled on the imagined dangers of creating significant artificial intelligence. This far superior sequel however actually uses computers in cool special effects. Was the most expensive ever made before that nature-loving flop "WaterWorld" and that corny little chick flick "Titanic".
Toy
Story 2: Some of us never
watched this movie, but we all agree that the way it makes elaborate
use of advancing technology could mean more jobs for our graduates
and less for those purple haired Film and TV
idiots.
As was it's prequel, this movie is made entirely with
computer animation.
Tetris: This can be played by anyone in the department. No annoying backstory or complicated graphics to employ those pesky art students, just pure mindless entertainment.
* these were compiled in a unanimously agreed poll among all our staff. However, they aren't really our favourite games or movies because these pages do NOT represent our views. If they did, some special interest group could sue us in the French court system for holding views that disagree with theirs.