There is this really annoying noise in my ear, not really a ringing, more of a shhhh …. shhhhh. As I learn later on, it is the start of my name – a word that everyone seems reluctant to finish, as if the mere sound of the word Sheila has the power to conjure up all sorts of bad things, including mayhem (maybe, but the other guy usually starts it), death (only if I am armed with a beer bottle or a tree branch), and natural disasters (hey, it wasn’t my cell phone that started that avalanche).
It seems that the nightmare in New York is continuing. Brat Girl insists on a shopping spree at Bloomies, tea and dinner at Bertani’s (Himself’s restaurant) and Karin has developed an intense dislike for their principal.
The peace of the lovely dinner that Paris has arranged is shattered by Rossi’s detection of the same man that was watching the car outside the hotel (aka The Bird) outside on the street. He radios a message to (Up)Chuck, who takes his security team out to intercept the man.
Rossi heads for the man and knocks him down. Since the man was already down, security team members Sal and Bush, whose instructions are to ‘knock him down and push him into the wall’ pick the poor man up and throw him against the side of a building. (Up)Chuck comes up and throws the bruised and battered Bird into the back of the ISIS SUV limo.
They take the Bird for a drive and beat the shit out of him under the pretext of questioning him. He reveals that his code name of ‘the Bird’ means that he is the middle finger of the hand and extends it for (Up)Chuck to see. (Up)Chuck, who is now as confused by this code as he is when confronted with making a choice between grapefruit and Honeydew melons, gently grabs the man’s forehead, rendering him unconscious. He rams his gun into the Bird’s mouth and brings him to with some smelling salts. (Up)Chuck thinks the man is spewing more stupid code forth, until he realizes that the Bird cannot speak properly due to the fact that there is a large gun in his mouth. (Up)Chuck manages to find out only that, while the Bird doesn’t know what the other ‘fingers’ are doing, the Hand does.
(Up)Chuck can’t figure out who Pinky, Ring, Index and Thumb are, let alone who the Hand is and, feeling that his head is imminent danger of eruption, throws the Bird out of the car as soon as Rossi pulls over. Rossi, whose cries of ‘dude’ have gone unnoticed until now, informs (Up)Chuck that there is another car of people watching them throw the bruised Bird out of the car.
They arrive back at the restaurant to find that the FBI and police have arrived. Jake Jake assists (Up)Chuck with some creative statement writing, the end result of which is a totally verifiable story that resembles actual events about as much as one of my mission reports does.
Diamond orders Paris and (Up)Chuck to report to Himself’s weekly poker game so Antos takes them over.
Brat Girl still insists on a night out and Rossi is eager to take them to Webster Hall. Karin protests, but the unstoppable club-minded Rossi takes them anyway.
Once there, Karin sees Jean Giscard, the mysterious man who was in every store that the team was during their Greenwich Village shopping spree. She approaches him and they dance. Karin notices Giscard watching (Up)Chuck (who has rejoined the team), Annalee, Rossi and Brat Girl.
The next few minutes are a mass of confusion as the three large gang types making their way towards Brat Girl and company open fire, hitting the Big Guy ((Up)Chuck for those who don’t know him), despite the human domino effect Karin has started. (Up)Chuck falls dragging Brat Girl and Ms. Dubois (aka Bambi lite) to the ground with him. Bullets are flying and Stefan, who seems to be wearing his shield of invulnerability, avoids several point blank range shots that were fired at him and shoots the gang members. Everyone rushes out of the club, except Jean Giscard (followed by Karin), who runs to (Up)Chuck to render first aid, along with Brat Girl – and she must have received several Girl Scout First Aid badges, ‘cause they didn’t teach her how to do a field dressing at Finishing School.
After dropping (Up)Chuck at the hospital and answering some more questions, they head back to the hotel with Jean Giscard in tow.
Once there, Brat Girl begins a rampage that ends in her suggesting that someone ‘like’ the International Terrorist, Jacques, should be along to help them out of these situations. Karin is convinced that Brat Girl’s sole purpose is to draw Jack out, although the rest of the team is not. Brat Girl shows them a web site dedicated to Jack, so the team goes back to their suite to check it out.
They find the site and eventually determine that it is on the Lucky Lynx server (of the Scotland Adventure fame). Jean hands Karin his card as he leaves. She glances at the picture of the hand on it and the word ‘acquisition’ and says, ‘great, another thief.’ Karin then goes upstairs to tell Paris about a fortunate big cat. Paris is eventually able to decipher Karin’s code and makes a call to Jack.
At this point, Jack and I were just awakening after enjoying a lovely dinner, despite the fact that he told me he was going on another stupid ISIS mission to Switzerland. I figure I’ll tag along and take the opportunity to pick up some chocolate, cheese and maybe a watch. Plus, I have no Swiss dish on my menu. I definitely need a trip to Switzerland.
I hear Jack mention something about two million dollars and from the rest of the one-sided conversation, I am able to make the connection between a bounty on certain persons heads and the amount.
So, this report ends with Jack and me on a New York bound plane. As we are settling into out seats, who should board the plane but Andre le Couer. When I spoke to him last night and told him about (Up)Chuck’s unfortunate wounding, I told him to send flowers…