So, the team is in New York, protecting the spoiled brat daughter of some Swiss bigwig. She came to the States with a super-conductor device that her dear old dad invented. The team is carefully planning out their security measures to keep her safe on her pre-planned itinerary of museum and zoo visits.
She arrives and (Up)Chuck manages to help get her and the device through customs. With the help of some ISIS security people, including Annalee, the team, the Brat and her bodyguard Stefan (whose girth is matched only by that of (Up)Chuck) are transported to the hotel. The Brat goes out onto her balcony to enjoy the view and present an irresistible target for Rossi when he enters her suite. His attempt to walk up behind her lands him on his ass as the Brat shows that she is not one to be trifled with. (Up)Chuck describes his security measures to the Brat only to learn that she has no intention of following Daddy’s itinerary. She wants to go out and buy some cool clothes before going clubbing at some pretty wild nightspots. Rossi shows some excitement at the thought of clubbing and (Up)Chuck takes him gently by the neck to lead him out of the room. Of course, as we know from the girl meets branch … gently experience in Scotland, gently is a very subjective word. Karin rouses the now unconscious Rossi with a glass of cold water – well, not really the glass, but she did throw the water on him.
Anyway, back in the room, (Up)Chuck is still trying to talk Brat Girl into following the original agenda, but is not having any luck. Karin, the very-put-out-that-the-carefully-planned-agenda-is-not-being-followed German, is working on a different plan that involves an unfortunate accident involving Brat Girl and some ‘gentle’ stimulus. Several of the team members seem amenable to the plan. Paris is arranging a private shopping spree at Bloomies for Brat Girl, and Rossi is applying an ice pack to his extra lumpy noggin.
The next day, the team is supposed to take the Brat and her device (and I don’t care how that sounds) to a New Jersey University, but morning brings the news that someone broke into the lab during the night and ransacked the place. (Up)Chuck and Paris drive down to check it out. While they are gone, Brat Girl decides this is an excellent opportunity for an impromptu shopping session. Since she cannot be talked out of it, the team piles into one of the vehicles and makes its way to Greenwich Village. While there, Karin – who rarely misses a tail – notices two men: one who seems to be shopping in all of the same stores that they are (odd when they keep visiting ladies’ lingerie shops) and another who is obviously waiting every time they leave a store.
She points the obvious man out to Annalee. As the team is heading for the cars, Obvious Guy attempts a fairly threatening maneuver. The team hustles Brat Girl (who is surprisingly cooperative) into the car and they leave. Annalee realizes that Obvious Guy was testing the team’s reaction.
Paris and (Up)Chuck return and the group prepares to accompany Brat Girl as she pursues her dream of questionable fun and risk taking in the Big Apple. The mention of a saloon-like atmosphere sends Karin and her not-so-trusty dictionary looking for some cowgirl boots and a ten-gallon hat. Deciding that the hat would simply be too heavy for her to wear all night, she opts instead for pigtails. Her entrance in the main room of the suite nearly sends Paris into a seizure. When Paris is done laughing and yelling that she would not be seen with Karin looking like that, she drags the German back to the bedroom for some wardrobe repair.
Eventually, they make it to the club. Karin and Paris spot Tony, of the Indian Reservation fame who belongs to some agency or another, in the club. The arrival of the goddess Paris does not go unnoticed. She is immediately approached by a man who wants to ‘buy her a navel." Karin is stunned to learn that Paris does not already have a belly button. Paris agrees and gets up on the bar.
Mayhem ensues, with men pushing women up onto the bar to dance. Karin, horrified at the possibility that someone may try to give her another navel, refuses.
Somewhere in the mayhem that follows, Paris notices one of one of the university thieves (whom she had seen on a surveillance tape) and is trying to give Rossi the international signal for ‘one of the suspects is by the pool table, go check him out.’ Many of the bar occupants are amazed at this new interpretive dance, but eventually, Rossi figures it out.
(Up)Chuck is trying to grab Brat Girl off of the bar. Karin sees Obvious Guy come in. Perhaps she decided that he was just trouble, maybe she was working off her confusion at the whole navel thing, or possibly she was just pissed off after her humiliating fashion faux pas, but anyway, she exchanges her full beer for the empty in a surprised patron’s hand. After breaking it, she proceeds to insert it into the cardiovascular system of Obvious Guy who falls to the ground in a lifeless heap after discharging a round between Brat Girl and the goddess Paris. Now personally, I would have slammed him over the head with the bottle – and the fuller the bottle, the better, but hey, I guess this worked for her. Anyway, people begin running and screaming. (Up)Chuck dives for Brat Girl just as Paris is reaching for her and the three of them tumble to the other side of the bar. Paris, kind to a fault, breaks everybody’s fall (except her own) and (Up)Chuck and Brat Girl take minimal bruising damage.
Rossi is running out after Suspect Guy and Karin heads out the front with the crowd. A bouncer tries to stop her, but her protective covering of blood makes her more slippery than the shoes in my closet after a visit from (Up)Chuck and she gets away.
Rossi catches up to Suspect Guy and jabs him in the side with a gun. The man throws his hands in the air and jumps back, attracting the attention of the bouncers and arriving police. A surprised Rossi is thrown to the ground.
After leaving Brat Girl in the capable hands of Paris, Stefan and his really big … gun, (Up)Chuck makes his way outside and rescues Rossi. He tries to grab Suspect Guy, who is turning to leave.
Karin, like a German Shepherd that has tasted blood and wants more, takes out her gun to shoot at soon to be fleeing Suspect Guy. Her shot misses but he falls anyway. That’s because nobody warned him about the perilous precipice at the edge of the sidewalk – aka the curb. He falls off of the curb in his haste and (Up)Chuck jumps on him (and somehow Suspect Guy manages to survive without being flattened by the huge mass of muscle and oil).
Karin decides that the team is not going to come out and drive her back to the hotel, so she makes her way back after stopping in a restroom to wash the blood off.
The police arrive and begin interrogating the team. Now this team can’t put together a coherent story on a good day, so you can imagine what happened. The detective in charge debates the wisdom of citing Rossi for over and misuse of the work ‘like,’ but decides against it. Anyway, Karin was missing from most people’s narratives (even though they hadn’t seen what happened – her absence caused them to hesitate to mention her) until he gets to Brat Girl, who happily lists all of the members of the team.
Back at the hotel, Karin walks into the suite to be greeted by the other half of the team and several of New York’s Finest.
Meanwhile, at the bar, the detective is once again asking the team for their version of the events. (Up)Chuck mentions that since the crime involved a beer bottle, he would have thought the this woman he knows named Sheila was in town …
I’M GOING TO KILL HIM …
Suddenly, I wake up in a cold sweat. I look around to make sure I am still in my neat and orderly apartment. Yep, my Bonnie Prince Charlie slippers are there at my bedside and my new healthy and refreshingly alive plants are on the windowsill. What a relief. Phew. I knew (Up)Chuck wouldn’t implicate me in a crime that occurred thousands of miles away. I hug my plaid sheets and drift back off into a relaxed, retirement-induced sleep.