J O U R N A L :::

January 15, 1999

A dream.
I've been talking to the neighbors about their dog running loose outside. I'm in the living room and I'm preparing for bed. The house is our home but does not look like our house. It is a house I've been in before. Or at least, it seems like a familiar place. There is a blank spot in my memory.

I'm upset, I' m fighting something. And then I change my mind and remember I wanted this. I know they are coming and I had asked, demanded that they stop hiding things from me and now I am aware.
I am holding my daughter and I walk outside to the back patio. The yard is my yard. It is dark, light mist. I look at the sky and tell her to watch; that they are here, they are up there.

I feel the sensation of starting to float. We are both floating in a slow spiral semi circle, a tornado spiral. I hold tighter to her afraid she'll be taken away by the pulling sensation. I tell them they will not seperate us, she stays with me, and the feeling of her being pulled from my grip ceases.

I am looking up for the ship but cannot see anything. I am now sideways almost horizontal and I realize I'm looking in the wrong place. They are in the center of the patio.
I see two at first, so dark thin, transparent and I can't focus, but am seeing them for real no hidden views, and I recall once again how I think they re ugly. I realize there is a shorter one smaller one also forming in view... My thinking of there ugliness changes something in the dream.

We were moving closer and were floating closer almost directly toward them but moving close frightened me. And now suddenly I am on the ground and in front of me are three huminoids not like what was seeing. At first they are human like, but grey toned in color. I move closer and closer tightly holding my daughter.
I am told, or I "know' that they are us. literally, they are an off breed genetic creation from each of our blood. I am sitting in front of them crosslegged about three ft away in the sand. They are a male female and infant.

The male continues to change. He is trying to tell me verbally what they are and how they are us. No sound comes from his mouth and I wonder why he does that when I understand perfectly. I motion for him to stop that I understand and I make it known that it is exciting.

I realize these are not the same three whom I first saw. The infant seems intelligant as does the male, but the female has morphed slowly over the frame to almost apelike chimpanzee status. And it's explained that it is a problem and she has trouble taking care of her young but on the basest of instincts and now she is almost wild.
The infant though small has moved away and though Amanda is on my lap, her attnetion is with the infant. I know she is on my lap because when I reach to touch the female I only use one hand and lean carefully over. The male has given me permission to touch her and told her to come forward.
I touch her arm which seems smooth but I see hair, I notice this mentally, but when I go and touch her face I can now feel the coarse whiskers of apelike hair. The are still grey but almost silver. I want to know more but touching her and thinking about it is so hard.

I wake up in bed beside Amanda whom I'd gone to bed with. It is eleven oclock and I hear my hubby puttering around in his office. Everything seems as if it never happened.