J O U R N A L :::

July 29, 1997

I'm still sleepy headed and disoriented but ... ok here goes.
Went to bed about 1am. A new waterbed by the way, and I think the temp is too high. Well high temps in the room give me nightmares anyways.

I'm having nightmares, keep waking up. I'm getting more and more scared, when I realize why. They are coming. I also realize it's why I'm tingling so bad like full of static. I am very frightened. The tingling reaches a peak and suddenly I am paralyzed. I start seeing images flash in my mind very quickly. Black and white symbols and strange writing. I wonder to myself what they are and why, and try to remember them.

Suddenly I can see again. I float up off the bed in a semi-curled position still paralyzed. Then slowly towards the window. I can't believe it's happening, and I realize there's a sound. High keening whine like several engines?? maybe not. And the light outside my window is blue tinted, but there are flashes across the curtain of red and orange to one side.
(I am scared, yet amazed, and trying very hard to stay calm. I can't believe I am so calm right now.)

I keep wondering and thinking... they don't know I am awake. What will the do when the come in and see me awake, because I had told them I didn't want to remember anymore. And I thought maybe they were going to let me remember again. The paralysis lifted and I was tilted and sat on the edge of the bed. I stood and reached for the curtain to look out, closing my eyes and taking a breath, and when I opened them, was lying on the bed waking up.
I knew without looking that it was 230am, but looked anyway. It was.

I have a vague memory of someone very tall, 7 or 8 feet, standing in front of me; an authority figure sort of feel. I felt very guilty about trying to peek, hand in the cookie jar stuff.