J O U R N A L :::

November 5, 1997

Well, where do I start....I am having memory trouble because the only thing I remember well is trying to mark something. Everything else is fuzzy and not in its usual grand detail.

I went to bed late, 2am. I lay for awhile and then I started to feel really relaxed. I mean abnormally relaxed, warm, buzzy. I was already seeing flits around the eyes, so I got paranoid, but my body stayed relaxed. I knew it was closer to 220 now and I rolled over to go to sleep, not wanting to really see anything. The equivalant of sticking my head in the sand.

I opened my eyes after a moment still unable to sleep and the room seemed lit, blue tinted. I stared at the wall kinda freaked, and this shadow crossed my view. Knowing how the dark plays havoc with eyes, I shifted my view slightly. I saw the shadow again but a foot from its first position, closer. Like a blur or sunpot in vision. A third time, same results, now next to dresser.

Either fell asleep or blanked out. And then woke up, in the midst of walking around the bed, heading for the bedroom door. Everything seemed natural, I knew what was going on, not afraid. Just before reaching door, I remembered what you said about marking something.
Well, I had already made the decision before hand that if something happened I was going to disturb the dust on the headboard. :) Not being a perfect house keeper this would work in my favor. However, I didn't check the dust pattern before going to bed and this is where I become unsure.

I pulled against a kind of force and managed to reach headboard. I scrabbled for the surface trying to make sure I left an imprint. It seemed I knocked something over in the process. Well, at the same time I also knew they weren't happy about this, but could do nothing because the couldn't put dust back or something like that.

Empty time, was back at the door. Here things became surreal. A different being, brownish or greyish, not sure, long face through the nose as in jutting out similar to animal, but wide and flatter, kinda like a duckbill dinosaur, but not as flat on the bill. Slow deliberate movements. Thick body, thick fingers. Wore a robe of some sort. Shorter than me, but was sitting. May have been just as tall when standing.
It was sitting at a console? equipment about four ft high and wide, in front of my closet. Yeah, weird I know.
It was showing me something on a screen, pictures, symbols, but I have no memory as to what. I do remember seeing picture of a forest and a city.

There were others there I know, but neither do I recall more than glimpses from the corner of my eye. I feel that I am not remembering things correctly because of my actions. I feel like hmm, maybe I betrayed a trust? or hell I don't know, but things are not what they seem. Curt was soundly sleeping, I thought some of them might be tending to Alex. Things changed, I woke up in bed, but felt they were still there in the room and fell asleep again. Too groggy to stay awake. A moment passed and I heard noise and I turned around. Alex was up. It was 330. I fell asleep, without saying anything to her. Woke again, she was up again, or still up, 530. Wanted to know if she could watch cartoons. Sure.

Okay, now I woke for alarm. Of course, first thing I did was look at the dust behind my head where the alarm clock rests. Yes, it was disturbed. A large swathe where my hand cut through. I asked Curt if he wiped it last nite. Nope.
I looked down between the headboard and bed. There was the miniature grandfather clock tucked in between. It usually rests right behind Curt, which is where I made the move. I asked if he moved it. Nope.

I keep going back in there to look at it. Did I do it some other time? Did Curt rub his arm across my dusty spot when he set the alarm last nite? Ah still skeptical, but more convinced than ever. I will have to try something else, to convince me.

One more note. I don't get nosebleeds, ever. Well once, as a kid when awoken. I'm not an easy bleeder. But, had some spots of blood from my nose this morning. That could be nothing though.
Another.. Went to turn on bed lamp on hubby's side and the bulb flashed out. It's brand new. Other light on my side is fine. Seperately, I would ignore these things. Together they make a person think, hmmm.