No Child Left
Behind - Football Version!
The football version of what is going on in education
right now. (If you're not an educator, this may not make a lot of sense
to
you. But send it to your friends who are in education. They will love
it!)
For all the educators --in or out of the system.
NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND---The Football Version
1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST
win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they
will be
on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held
accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship their
footballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the
championship.
2. All kids will be expected to have the same football
skills at the same time even if they do not have the same conditions or
opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for
lack of interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or
genetic
abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents.
ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!
3. Talented players will be asked to workout on their
own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using
al their instructional time with the athletes who aren't
interested in football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents
don't like
football.
4. Games will be played year round, but statistics
will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th game.
It will create a New Age of Sports where every school
is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach
the
same minimum goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child gets left
behind.
If parents do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for
vouchers and support private schools that can screen out the
non-athletes
and prevent their children from having to go to school with bad
football players.