An Ode to My Father

By Dinesh Pandian, Chennai, India (April 1998)

 When I was a young boy, and a big dreamer- I remember dreaming about what I would wish for when I found the magical lamp. If offered the proverbial three wishes. I would often dream about what I would wish to have, what I would wish to do, and where I would wish to go. But, what I would have wished for when I was a six year old, is not what I would’ve wished for on the day that my father died leaving grief behind.. I wish that I could change everything that had happened for the past year.

          He was the one who was always there for us

          He was the one who always cared for us

          He was the one who mended our broken hearts

          He was the one who stood like a rock

          He was the one who made us part of this earth

          Father, a word I can never say!

          Father, a person whom I loved to meet, and now I never can!

          A man who loved us anyways!

          Dad, now do you care?

          Are you there?

          Who will fill your empty seat?

          Who will walk by my side?

          Will you be there for the important moments in our lives?

          But our hearts will always remember you.

 He was a good father. He knew how to nurture and protect. The depth of his love was deep; the bond that he had with his children and his wife was as important and as powerful as any bond could be. He liked to laugh and had a great sense of humor. He knew that good relationships are reciprocal. He was a good friend and his friends relied upon him to meet many of their needs for intimacy. He listened, he taught and he learnt. He took risks, assumed responsibility and believed that many difficult things are possible and achieved them. He had dreams and hopes, and he took steps to turn his dreams into realities. He was creative and had a knack for solving problems. He had a full range of feelings and knew how to express them directly and honestly. He was tough and gutsy. He was a complete man.

          When my father was married, he had to educate his wife, my mother, and four of his kids. Prior to that he had to quit school - to help support the rest of his family. All his life he only knew how to work hard and never did he fail in his moment of weakness. People, who knew him, knew him only as a courageous man. He was always a winner. He had always been there for us, whether it has been to encourage us or to reprimand us. Always constant in his love and devotion, he stood beside us, even when we have been wrong. He stood there like a pillar for us, and saw to it we never went wrong. Maybe inside his mind he had decided, “My mission in life is to live with integrity and make a difference in the lives of my children and all fellow beings!” If it hadn’t been for his love support and patience, we would never be where we are. You have set and example, with your intelligence, wisdom and patience that is second to none.

 Whenever I met my dad, he told me to do something and I did. He never ordered for anything or demanded for it, he commanded. Whatever feeling I had inside I always did what he asked for, until the day I thought I grew up and then things went wrong for me. Now I would love to have him tell me everything that I have to do, but fate had played a cruel joke on us. My fathers life had brought out Love, Kindness, Faith, Hope and so much more of the finer virtues in life that one strives to attain, the only difference between from an ordinary person and him was, he perfected it. I hope it teaches me   to develop Manhood, Maturity and Strength of character. I still grieve sometimes.

 I always have my moment of grief, but thanks to the other mercies of life and the cherished memories that I have had with you. I do not think you will ever know what a hero you are. You have been a terrific father, but you’ve always been more… you’re my best friend.

 All I can remember was, “My father was a Man who carried Pictures of his children in his wallet where his money was supposed to be”. May god rest his soul in eternal peace.  

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