preschool1

Preschool Romp

Jarrett's Mom: C'mon baby, you nee to have more friends besides Tanner (tries to pull scary looking child off of her leg)
Jarrett: (whimpers then looks around the room and starts to cry)
Jarrett's Mom: (throws a bottle of glitter across the room) Look Jarrett! Shiny!
Jarrett: (becomes entranced as his mom makes a run for it)
Cop: (escorts Julie in) Now young lady I don't want to catch you skipping preschool and smoking cigarettes ever again or we'll take away all you sesame street tapes.
(Author's Note: Speaking of sesame street...)
Billy: (pimp walks into the room and trips over Jarrett's bottle of glitter) (his mom laughs then leaves)
Lupino: (walks up to Jarrett) What's your deal you scary looking bastard? Are you a fag?
Jarrett: (goes to the time out corner and cries)
Ritu: Why are you crying little boy? I'll make it alllll better! MMMBOP!
Jatin: Hey guess what guys? In fifteen years I'll be going to Amsterdam and I'll be cooler than all of you! What is dew point?
Lupino: Well you're not cool right now you fat bastard!
JJ: (climbs in through the window and hides behind playhouse)
Immigration Officers: Has anyone seen a little Italian boy with dark curly hair that looks like a monkey?
Jatin: No but will you guys deport me to Amsterdam?
JJ: (goes up to Jarrett) Hi! Let's be friends. (snatches glitter and runs away)
Jarrett: (sobs)
Justin: (running away from mobs of women) (slams door) I see you have blonde hair I also have blonde hair. Therefore we have something in common. Do we not?
Jarrett: (smiles and twitches)
Julie: Hi hottie. Do you want to play house with me? I'll be the pimp daddy and you can be the bitch.
Justin: I think that would be fun. Would it not?
Audrea: Hey everybody! I'm an Audrea and I'm cute (giggles)
Lupino: You're something all right
Audrea: (high pitched) Who wants to play with me?
Jatin: (drools)
Billy: I'll play with you. Let's play doctor.
Audrea: Okay hehe
Jatin: Damnit! Jatin is a synonym for abstinence!
Julie: (arm around Justin) Julie is a synonym for macking. Ha ha Jatin!
Ritu: (has a trail of glitter leading up to her) Ritu is a synonym for pedophilia. (wiggles eyebrows)
Jarrett: (crawls along glitter trail- eyes wide) Uhhh shiny!
(Author's Note: Jarrett's obsession for foreign girls is born)
Cary: (glides in on cloud of fog)
Julie: Oh dear god! Don't look Justin. (covers Justin's eyes... and other places)
Jarrett: (starts to cry)
Audrea: That's a Cary! And he's scary! I rhyme! he he
Billy: (horrified squawk)
Lupino: Mary mother of god! (Lupino is for once without an insult)
(Author's Note: Could there be anything scarier that this? Duh duh duh...)
Isaac Hanson: (snaps has hat and cane) Hello my baby! Hello my darlin'! Hello my rag time gal!
(Author's Note: We apologize for that)
Samantha: Wow not everyday you see a talking horse. (goes to sleep)
Billy: (tiptoes over to the mats to take advantage of a sleeping girl)
Samantha: (kicks Billy in the nuts)
Billy: Squaaaaaaaaawk! (curls up into Billy ball and sings) Won't you tell me how to get. How to get to sesame street.
Lupino: I'd tell you but you'd probably trip and die on the way there (smiles) On the other hand...
JJ: (steals Isaac's cane)
Isaac: (starts to cry)
Jarrett: Hey! You're sensitive too. Let's be friends. (insert uhhhs)
Isaac: (clicks heels) Somebody likes me! (Jarrett and Isaac go and play in the sand box while Ritu drools and follows them)
Audrea: (to Jatin) Hi!
Jatin: (thinking) Maybe she likes me! Maybe Jatin will no longer be a synonym for abstinence!
Audrea: Can I borrow 25 cents? I want a chocolate milk. He he!
Jatin: DAMNIT! (hits head repeatedly with rattle)
JJ: (steals rattle)
Jatin: DAMNIT! (beats head against floor)
Billy: I'll teach you how to get girls in bed. (trips and falls)
Lupino: The only girl you've ever gotten into bed is you mom.
Jarrett: My mommy loves me! (smiles)
Isaac: No one loves me. (hangs head and goes to loser corner to befriend Cary)
Julie: (to Justin) So, what's a nice toddler like you doing in a place like this? Do you come here often?
Justin: I want to kill my father. (twitches)
(Author's Note: Justin's creepy side makes its first but not only appearance)
Julie: I like guys with issues. (drags Justin back into the playhouse)
Jatin: (waves around miniature Amsterdam flag)
JJ: (steals flag)
Jatin: (cries silently into a juice cup)
JJ: (steals juice cup)
Jatin: (throws arms into the air) DAMNIT! (limps away to the loser corner)
Barney: Hi kids! Let's sing a song!!
Jarrett and Isaac: (claps hands and gets excited) I love you. You love me!
Barney: Super Dee Duper!!!! (jumps wiggles and falls in mid air)
Lupino: (holding gun) Lupino is a synonym for homicide.
Jarrett: (Isaac has his arm around Jarrett smiling creepily) Can I borrow your boomstick?
JJ: (steals "boomstick")
Lupino: What the hell do you do with all this stuff?
(Julie and Justin come out of the playhouse with their hair mussed and jumpers askew)
Ritu: Hey little boy! (wiggles eyebrows)
Lupino: (throws flaming pumpkin at Ritu. Ritu ducks and it hits Isaac. Jarrett watches in astonishment as Isaac's hair burns)
Jarrett: Fire!
Ritu: (to Billy) Hey little boy!