Number Five

(Kylie Dawson gets angry - December 01)

Well it's that time of year again. I know that 'cos Snake Pass is closed again.

As the sherpas lead us through the Pass, it had occurred to me that maybe we should develop some new customs for the tradition of saying goodbye to old Father Time. Currently, and I think you'll all agree with me, that the tradition in Yorkshire and in the rest of the country is to get so merry that you can't remember where you spent the midnight hour and then to throw up over the neighbour's dog. And they thought you should only keep your pets in on Bonfire night!

Traditionally, what's supposed to happen in England is that the first male visitor to the house after midnight will bring good luck on the household, unless he is a burglar! Only a dark haired man is acceptable for luck. The Gates of Hell open up if it be a man with either blonde or red hair, or any form of woman, as these will all bring bad luck. The visitor must carry money, bread or coal for the household. Well, can anyone see the flaw in this. As the pub will have all his money, so they'll be none left for any bread from the corner shop which will be still open, and what of coal. I haven't seen this substance for years.

So let's take a leaf out of some of the other festivities and jolly it up:

• In Australia: It'll be a barbie on the beach.
• Brazil: The main meal on the day must include lentils, to signify wealth.
• Germany: Molten lead is dropped into cold water, and the shape formed will foretell your future.
• Japan: A rope of straw is tied across the front of the house to ward off evil spirits. And more importantly, they will laugh (and about time too) as this will bring them good luck.
• Spain & Portugal have the ritual of eating a grape for each strike of the midnight clock in unison.

How does one celebrate a Yorkshire New Year? Why not with some black pudding and . . . copious amounts of it. Also it could be served in bars much like a Tapas. On the arrival of midnight, we all eat three slices; one for prosperity, one for health and one for the family, whilst dancing to a classic Yorkshire song (any thoughts out there on what we could adopt as The Yorkshire song). And let's not forget tradition, so why not wear a traditional cloth cap and scarf for the evening - call it fancy dress if you must. And for both sexes, a cloth cap can indeed look sexy.

For the main meal of the day, let's throw out the Christmas fry-ups which we have all had to suffer for the last six days. A new day / year requires a new meal. Let's start with a fruity Indian curry and so good riddance to sprouts, cabbages and 'bread and dripping' (apparently that's what my uncle used to have, but can I believe him?).

If that's not enough, here are a few New Year's links for you. Starting with a more comprehensive list of Holidays around the World and then there's, New Year, USA Style.

I've waffled on enough, so let's get the ball rolling and make the Yorkshire New Year Official.

(Online - Jan 02)

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