Squirrel, who had been drinking fire water at the time, foolishly signed a contract with Fountain, written on Sacred Indian Tapestry. If his spell does not bring her a husband in twenty years time, he must marry her himself.
Those twenty years are up the next day but Squirrel insists that the upcoming Cavalry volunteer is his spell in action. Fountain is convinced no one will ever volunteer and Squirrel will soon be hers.
Gushing Fountain leaves, gloating, and Dippying Daisy says she is love-loney for her own boyfriend, Private David Davenport. Unfortunately, Chief Barking Buffalo has decreed that the Cavalry may not enter Indian Territory, under penalty of death, until a volunteer has married his daughter.
Tipping Canoe, the tribal gossip, has managed to find out about Squirrel's contract with Fountain. She hasn't spread the scandal through the tribe though. She's unconvinced of the validity of his powers but does not want to risk his wrath. She vows to someday uncover the truth.
Both Squirrel and Daisy well know the truth. Squirrel is, indeed, a sham. Daisy is very uncomfortable with their charade but only continues it to protect Squirrel from the wrath of the tribe.
Canoe tries to cheer up Daisy with some tribal gossip.
I've just discovered to my shock
That Swinging Club and Sitting Rock
Have broken up respectively
With Humming Bird and Little Tree.
The many hours they've enjoyed
Have quite abruptly turned and cloyed.
I speculate, it's just a guess,
That Turtle Dove's behind this mess.
She is the very cunning minx
Without a moral bone, methinks,
And only cares for love affairs
With any married man who dares.
Daisy and Squirrel:
Ah ha ha ha ha ho ho ho!
I hadn't heard - I didn't know!
The Three:
Ah ha ha ha ha ho ho ho!
Upon my word, it's a quite a blow!
Canoe:
I've also learned that Mighty Wren
Has changed his tepee home again.
He said he moved, this time for good.
It's such a better neighborhood.
To move your home's a nasty job
But any first-rate, turn-nosed snob
Will manage all expense and time
If it involves a social climb.
He also has a daring plan
To boost the culture of his clan.
He wants museums, shows, and plays,
Then concerts, operas, and ballets.
Daisy and Squirrel:
Ah ha ha ha ha ho ho ho!
I hadn't heard - I didn't know!
The Three:
Ah ha ha ha ha ho ho ho!
Upon my word, it's a quite a blow!
Canoe:
I've had the luck to ascertain
That braves across the Golden Plain
Are all involved in social fights
With squaws demanding equal rights.
I've also heard from one I trust
There's recently been plans discussed
To overthrow our monarchy
With something called democracy.
But best of all, I've chanced to find,
That Chief Blue Bow has lost his mind,
"That's nothing new" his people claim
And so he'll rule them all the same.
Daisy and Squirrel:
Ah ha ha ha ha ho ho ho!
I hadn't heard - I didn't know!
The Three:
Ah ha ha ha ha ho ho ho!
Upon my word, it's a quite a blow!
