The Silver Stampeder Home Page

September 18, 2006:
So, I’m crippled, but I’m smiling.
The smile is frozen on my face, quite literally, from the game on Friday night, when the Stamps executed everywhere but in the red zone, but the other areas were done well enough to whip a helpless-looking pack of Bombers.
That included Charles Roberts, who ran his mouth before the game about how he was the premiere running back in the CFL, and how Joffrey Reynolds would always be second to him. Well, Chuck, you got 23 yards on nine carries, while that other guy piled up almost 200 yards on the ground! Keep playing like that, Charlie, and Ricky Williams will beat you as far as yards gained this season! Joffrey is the real deal, and I would not be at all surprised to see him win the rushing “title” this year, and for years to come!
The crippled part? Yeah, I did 10K in this year’s Terry Fox Run… to tell you the truth, I haven’t run at all since last year’s 5-day adventure, so what should have been a relatively easy run turned out to be torture. Of course, it didn’t help that I ran the whole thing in the giant shoes – my feet were actually bleeding a little by the end, and I have several blisters that make walking tough this morning. Not to mention my muscles, which feel like they have needles implanted all through them. Ouch. However, I did finish all 10K, and I did raise $150 for cancer research, so that goes a little ways towards numbing the pain.
But, back to football. I also want to give a shout out to the Stamps receiving corps, and I gotta tell ya, I think those guys are smart as whips. All week, the only thing anyone was talking about was the touchdown dances. What baffled most people, I think, was that the Copeland, Lewis et all did little to try to calm the storm – if anything, they seemed to egg on the reporters who called for an end to the dancing.
And so, all week, Henry Burris got a reprieve from the relentless talk of how he’s not a big-game QB. The o-line heard little about their slip in Edmonton. The whole team got the week off, while the receivers let the pressure roll off their backs. For this, I applaud them, if that was their intention. If not, well, it was a nice side-effect, at least.
And, for the record, I liked the bobsled, the bike and the 4x100 relay - but Rambo on the endzone post in Montreal didn’t do it for me.
And I have to comment on those pesky Esks – if anyone out there is still talking about Nic Lewis and his legal hit on Kelly Wiltshire, they need to stop, take a break from the fanatical, blinding devotion to their team and give their head a firm shake. If ever there was a dirty player in the CFL, it’s AJ Gass. He has proven, time and again, not to be the”hard nosed” player who “plays on the edge” as some have claimed, but instead proven himself to be a dirty cheat who sadly, also has great talent. The kick to Ralph at the end of the Hamilton – Edmonton game was disgraceful. No, it probably didn’t hurt the receiver, but it hurts the league to have players with this sort of attitude. Was he trying to hurt Brock? I doubt it. But allowing his frustration to manifest itself via the foot to a fallen player’s gut is unprofessional and a pathetic display of disrespect. Now, just because he’s an Edmonton player, it doesn’t mean I’m going to be extra vindictive. I know a lot of Esk fans called for unrealistic punishments for the Lewis block and the endzone celebrations, but I don’t think it’s unrealistic for the league to hand down a one-game suspension for this act, if for no other reason than to keep AJ Gass off the field for the rematch with Hamilton, and remove what could be the fuse to a worse altercation.
By the way, way to go Hamilton! Thanks for beating those Eskies! Although beating them ourselves to put their playoff lives in danger would have been sweet, having them lose to their old QB and his slumping team is almost as good! Here’s hoping those Tabbies can follow up with the rematch!

September 14, 2006:
I’ve been turning this over in my mind for a while now, trying to figure out how to write this. I know that talking about the writing process in the intro is cheesy and cliched, but hey, go with what you know.
And as the Silver Stampeder, I have been the face of cheesy for the past few years. From the early days of face paint and random craziness, throught the incarnation of the Ultimate Stamps Fan, to the development of the Silver Stampeder character, it’s been nothing but good times, lots of cheering, and of course, lots of good fundraising for great causes in the Calgary area.
It was early in the days of the Silver Stampeder, soon after winning the first Fritos contest, that I started to think about what else this character could do, other than simply being a loud crazy guy at football games.
I am proud to say that, over the years, the Silver Stampeder has raised several thousand dollars for various charities and other worth causes, including the Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter and the Terry Fox Foundation.
I’ve also met a lot of great Stamps fans, great football fans, and great people as The Silver Stampeder. It’s made me proud to sit among you all at McMahon. You are the best fans in all of the CFL, and the best people in the world.
Thank you to all of you who cheered with me, cheered for me, laughed with me, partied with me and noticed me. Thank you to all the kids who stared in wonder at my costume. Thank you to all the opposing fans who verbally jousted with me. Thank you to the tailgaters who showed up in all weather. Thank you to the police who patrolled the tailgate area for being understanding. Thank you to the players, past and present, for giving us all something to cheer about. Thank you to everyone who visited my web site, and actually took the time to read my rants and look at my pictures. Thank you to the charities who let me give of myself, despite looking a little different than the average donor.
A special thank you to the team who let this nutball use his devotion to your team catapult him to something special. They’ve helped with my causes, and humoured my silliness. I think there are a lot of organizations out there that would have ignored me or asked me to stop. You didn’t, and I thank you for that.
I want people to understand that I will never stop being a Calgary Stampeders football fan. I love the familiarity and intimacy of McMahon Stadium, and I love to sit there in the baking heat and the freezing cold. I love how loud it gets, and how passionate yet respectful our fans can be. I love the team colours, and I will always own a few Stampeders jerseys, and wear them proudly, win or lose.
But there’s one jersey that, come the end of this season, I won’t wear again.
As of the final game of this football season, The Silver Stampeder will be officially retired from active duty.

I will continue to buy season tickets, and I will continue to follow the Stamps. I won’t stop cheering. I will always be proud of my time as The Silver Stampeder, but I feel that it’s time to let him rest, and go back to attending games as simply another fan in the stands.
And so, for now, I will sign off as the Silver Stampeder. I hope to keep signing off that way until well into November, because nothing would make this better than to go out cheering a Grey Cup win.
Go Stamps Go.

September 11, 2006:
Well, I think I got a little carried away with the whole Battle of Alberta thing. It’s easy to do when you think you’re gonna sweep those pesky Eskies out of the playoff picture.
Can’t say I enjoyed the last game, and neither did my neighbours. I probably threw more f-bombs at the television screen in the first half than all the bleeps in South Park. It was very frustrating to watch this team revert to the sloppy play that had us all wringing our hands in woe earlier this season.
As I’ve always said, I don’t mind if the team loses – but I hate to see them lose because they didn’t put the effort in. But, I’ve managed to take a few steps back from the brink, and take some deep breaths. The Stamps are going to lose on occasion – it just sucks to lose to Edmonton. Always has, always will. Especially when the expectations were so high for the red and white!
Here’s hoping they get mad about their performance on Friday, and come out on fire a week later against a hot-and-cold Winnipeg team.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to talk about the direction of the Silver Stampeder. Over the years, I’vc really enjoyed bringing this character to life, and I like to think that I’ve done a lot of good with these big shoes of mine, from helping out charities and other worthwhile causes, to helping in my own way to make Stampeder games as much fun as possible. It’s been an outlet for me to bring some craziness out into the real world, and express myself in a way that I’d never imagined. But I’m starting to wonder just how much longer the Silver Stampeder will be around. I know there will come a day when I will go to a Stamps game just as myself, just to watch football. It’s not something I ever considered or even gave a moment’s thought to before… but these days, pulling on the big silver pants just doesn’t seem to hold the same promise of joy that it did before. Maybe I’m getting old.

September 7, 2006:
It's a wonderful time to be a Stamps fan.
The sun is shining, the Stamps are winning, the Esks are losing... what more could you ask for?
Yes, Labour Day 2006 was a glorious game, with only a few non-fatal flaws in the otherwise impervious Stampeder attack. I can't wait for the rematch!
I would go, but well, it's Edmonton. And really, who wants to drive 3 hours to watch, admittedly, what should be a very satisfying game, only to risk life and limb at LowestCommonDenominator Stadium, followed by another boring 3 hour drive home?
I think I'll just watch from home - it'll allow me to be more boisterous with my cheering! Go Stamps Go!

August 25, 2006:
So, anybody else have fun watching that game last night? If you said no, you're probably from Montreal.
I gotta tell you, despite some wacky calls to start the game, it was a joy to watch the Stamps dismantle the Alouettes last night. They were completely dominant on offense, on defense, and surprisingly, in the seldom-used category of trick plays.
You've gotta believe that Don Matthews is stewing just a little after being on the wrong end of four different gadget plays - a short kick, a fake punt, a reverse and a double reverse - not even counting the fake FG that was called back.
BTW, note to the officials: try rehearsing what you're going to say before you hit the button to mike up. And look around to see what city you're in.
At first, I - like most people - had no idea why the TD was called back. TSN's announcers were equally as confused, and the ref's call didn't help. Then, Dunnigan's explanation at the half just made it all the more muddled.
Thank gawd for QR77 - it only took 15 seconds to clearly and concisely explain the call for someone who knows football! Seems the snapper went downfield and made a tackle before the ball was flicked from the holder to Cates, which drew the penalty and erased the score. Too bad - it was a great play! But to see the Stamps follow that up almost immediately with the fake punt was wonderful! Dales did a brilliant job of faking out the defense, acting as though the ball had been shipped up and over him, and fooling everyone while we rumbled for the first down!
After a game like this, I can't wait to host Edmonton!

August 21, 2006:
Well, I might be a Stamps fan, but I won't be a Stamp player anytime soon.
Yes, yours truly was out at Cardel's Stamps Camp this past weekend, and while I had a blast, I'm sad to report that my team (Go Red!) came in second place, which means we didn't get one-day contracts with the Stamps for Sept 3rd.
But I would like to give a shout out to the Stamps and Cardel. It was a great way to spend a by week, and the players were great - very personable and friendly, and very understanding of the level of athleticism out there.
One thing to note, though: the Colts players who were helping out didn't seem to get that they were running a bunch of non-athletes through these drills! While the Stamps players understood that 3/4 speed was enough to waste most of us, the Colts seemed to be out to injure and insult at times. The QB at the tip/pickoff drill seemed to delight in lobbing the ball beyond the reach of even the most vertical of leaps, as did the tosser for the wet ball drill. As for the thugs on the running back drill, I don't think it was neccesary to throw those tackling blocks at people quite as hard as they did. I saw quite a few people being seated unexpectedly by a rough block or two. Hell, I had to take off my glasses, because the first run-though resulted in a shot to the head that bent my frames and popped a lens!
But all in all, it was great fun, and you can be sure, I'll be signing up again next year. But next year, I'm playing for keeps! That contract'll be MINE!
Now, since it's a bye week, here's my thoughts from around the league:
Esks/Leos - Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm going to be laughing for weeks! Hey coach, here's a hint. When you're on second down, with more than 10 seconds left, and you send out the kicking team for a game-winning FG, make sure to emphasize the idea of getting the kick off quickly, in case of a flub on the snap or hold. To send them out to waste off all the remaining time, and THEN botch the snap made me laugh! Heck, even the TSN announce team - who have at times, proven themselves to be completely and utterly useless when it comes to football knowledge - knew what to do in this situation! You lost that game, and it should have (shockingly) been an easy win at that point. Way to go!
Riders/Ticats - What's going on in Hamilton? You've got to think that Jason Maas is injured in some way or another - I just can't believe that he's played as poorly as he has, and been healthy. But honestly, does anyone out there think the cure for this is Eakin? Honestly, trade him for Kevin Feterik if you can! As for the Riders, now you know first-hand how durable Crandall can be! First start of the season, and he puts himself out for 4-6 weeks with a dislocated shoulder on the non-throwing arm. Funny, I recall some Rider fans talking about how great it was that they managed to land Crandall...
Argos/Als - what the hell was that? Seriously, I was expecting a resurging Als team to decimate the lumbering, blundering boatmen from TO. I was expecting a 7-1 team who was ticked off not to be 8-0. What we all saw was a 7-1 team who were relieved not to have to win all the time any more. Here's hoping they stay vulnerable for our rematch on Thursday!

August 17, 2006:
Remember how I said the Stamps would come out of this home-and-home with Montreal with at least one win? Man, am I glad they proved me right at McMahon!
I gotta tell you, that was one of the most fun games I've been to in a long time - definitely one of the best of the season! And that's tough to say, after the win over the 'Riders and with the impending jou of Labour Day...
But to be the spoiler on a 7-0 team... man, that's sweet! And congrats to Hank for getting offensive player of the week, and of course, big shout out to Sandrooooo DeeeeeAngelisssss! I've sent in video of those two kicks to Websters, so they can re-define "clutch"! Whoo!
It was a great feeling, watching the FG unti come out onto the field with so little time left, knowing they were going for the win by 3 rather than just settling for the rouge point through the end zone! The entire stadium was on their feet, and when it passed over and through the uprights, it was as if 30,000 Stamps fans were all touched by a live wire - it was nuts!
But I have to give props to the Als fans in attendance - I thought there would only be a few of them, but there were red, white and blue jerseys all over the stadium, with a big concentration in Section A. And of course, there were a few behind us... and to those of you who speak French, remember that not everyone in Calgary is uni-lingual! My wife's completely fluent, and apparently, these fellas behind us were beaking off a little, thinking no one understood. But when I let loose with my french jeer - "Calvillo! Vous jetez le football comme un petite fille francaise!", they suddenly considered that others in the area might understand them. Of course, that wouldn't include me, as I only know that phrase, and "je suis desole, je ne par parle francaise". For those of you as linguistically challenged as I am, it means 'sorry, I don't speak french'.
Well, the Stamps might have a well-deserved week off, but not this fan! That's right, I've been selected for Cardell's Stamp Camp, meaning I get a chance to go through the paces with 99 other lucky stiffs, for a shot at a one-day contract with the team. I gotta tell you, I'm pumped! If I'm one of the lucky 20 to move forward, I get to practice with the team on September thrid - yep, my birthday. How nice of a b-day gift would that be - a Stamps contract?!? It would get the place of honour on my yet-to-be-built basement bar, that's for darn sure!
The tryouts are on Saturday, and the wife and my dad will be there, snapping photos. I'll slap the best ones up on this site - but only if they make me look good out there!

August 7, 2006:
Finally, the Stampeders HAVE COME BACK to McMahon Stadium! Whoo!
Yessir, that is certainly a dose of what the doctor ordered. It doesn't mean all is well again, but it's certainly a step in the right direction.
The offense clicked, Joffrey was running roughshod, the special teams looked good (except for DeAngelis, but as good as he is, he can have a bad game now and then without hurting us too much), the defense was strong and great at getting to KJ, and even the secondary, which hasn't shown much lately, looked strong!
And man, there is NOTHING nicer than silencing all those Rider fans! Thanks for coming out, folks, and thanks for paying the increased ticket prices for this "premium" game - it'll help us sign more players! Ahahah!
Oh, and of course, it's always sweet to win the Tailgater of the Game award. It's all about the watermelon, baby! And yes, that five pounds of sausage is going to go to good use next week against the Als. You heard it here first - the Stamps are going to come out of this home-and-home series with Montreal with AT LEAST one win!

July 30, 2006:
I'm gonna keep this brief, because it's all negative.
Three very bad games, and I don't see anyone really getting pissed off about it.
Maybe that's because they didn't show up.

July 20, 2006:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOM!
Yes, it's the Big Dumb Jerk's birthday tomorrow, and what better way to celebrate than a Stamps game!
We'll be out tailgating nice and early, and if anyone from the Stamps organization is reading this, it'd be real nice if Jom won himself a Tailgater of the Game award, since it IS his birthday and all...
Sorry Jom, but my presence tends to spoil your chances, I know.
Anywhoo, here's hoping that game goes our way. BC hasn't looked sharp lately, but judging by the Hamilton game, we aren't exactly world-beaters right now. Let's hope we see more like the Sask game!
If anyone wants to wish him a happy birthday, we'll be in the usual spot around 1pm - just look for the big guy getting real drunk...

July 14, 2006:
Okay, you know me. I don't like to be negative when it comes to the Stamps - it makes the games less fun to watch when you're critiquing what's going wrong.
But dammit, that was a terrible game.
Sandro actually misses a FG, Dales schanks an important punt, Lewis drops ball all over the field on punt returns, Rambo and Burris look to be on completely different playbooks, there were stupid penalties galore...
But Buratto, this loss is on you.
Why on gawd's green earth, with 30 some-odd seconds left, and starting that close to your own goal, would you send ALL the recievers deep? Hank throws into the stands on first down, wasting off almost no time at all. Then, second down, having the QB run it for 8-9 yards? I'm a big fan of Hank, but he has a history of not being able to get that first down on the run. He ALWAYS ends up 1-2 yards short, especially when he slides. But even with that run, you end up punting on third down with a ton of time left! Man, how did you come up with THAT sequence?
One: If you're going to run on first down, and even the dipsticks calling the game for TSN knew you shouldn't, make sure Hank's got a dump option! At least get a FEW yards if the long bomb fails to develop! But then, if you fail and end up in third down deep with time remaining, what was the point of kicking? To my mind (and I acknowledge that hindsight is 20/20), kicking from the fringe of your own end zone is putting the ball within one quick first down of an easy FG. Perhaps, in this case, you might have been better off gambling?
I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out. If you get it, you burn the time, and head to OT like you wanted. If you fail, yes, they get GREAT position, but they'll go for the TD. And in this game, the Stamps looked pretty good shutting down the red-zone for the Tabbies.
Hey, maybe they'd score a major. But who cares how you lose? You lost.
Bah.
I just hate to see a bad game like that, and I hate to hand the first win of the season to the TiCats. It seems like there are two Stamps teams - one that gets it done, and one that... wow, they're really, really bad.
Here's hoping we can get the good Stamps back in time to face BC here next week!

July 11, 2006:
I think Hank likes being booed.
Seriously, every time he goes into the pressure cooker that is Tayl... err, Mosaic Stadium, he comes out looking like the starting QB the Stamps need!
We oughta import some of those boobirds to keep him motivated... nah, Rider fans bug me too much!
But good on the Stamps for the whupping they handed out! I was expecting the Stamps to struggle in Saskatchewan, but they came out on fire, and despite letting things get away from them a little in the second quarter, regrouped and kept themselves in the game - and then some!
I was a little worried to see DMac taking the reins so early, but it looked like Hank wasn't hurting, and hell, Danny Mac didn't throw an INT, which always makes me happy!
And a note for Nic Lewis - that was the sweetest hurdle I've seen in a very long time! Whoo! That one brought me right up out of my seat - I thought for sure he'd nab an ankle and drag you down hard!
So, over all, good on 'em! I hope they can keep going through Hamilton!
Oh, and on the job front - still no luck. If you know anyone who's looking for a tech writer or copywriter or, hell, at this point, a burger flipper, let me know! This involuntary vacation is making me crazy!

July 3, 2006:
Happy Canada Day!
Sorry to have been so deliquent in my writings here - I know, I haven't said a word about the last-second loss to Edmonton, or the last-second win over the Ticats. Sorry!
Truth be told, I've been a little busy lately with non-TSS related issues - namely, job hunting.
Yes, The Silver One is handing out resumes again. Man, looking for work is a drag. Endless emails, phone calls, resumes and cover letters fired off in every concievable direction... it's enough to drive a man crazy!
Well, I'm keeping my hopes up. There's a startup that seems to be interested in yours truly - they've promised to get back to me in the next few days, with what I hope will be good news, and an end for this unscheduled "vacation"!
And now, for something completely different - football!
My my my, how the expectations for this team have plummeted! At the outbreak of the season, it was all talk about Grey Cups and a ton of wins. But so far, our beloved Stamps haven't shown us that side.
Want my criticisms? Well too bad, you'll get 'em anyways.
OFFENSE - Yikes. Against Edmonton, it was run on first down, long toss on second down, kick on third down, almost without exception. Variety may be the spice of life, but it's an essential element to a winning football club. Sure, Reynolds is a fantastic running back, but if the D knows he's getting the ball on 90% of first downs, it kind of takes away from his productivity, eh? Also, whoever is dictating Burris' targets isn't getting it. The constant long bomb is not working, but they keep going back to it. What does work? The short dump pass for 6-8 yards that they don't seem to look for! I know our receivers are great, and are capable of hauling in the big bombs, but more often than not, Burris has not been on target with the deep threat. Go more to short passes, and vary the pattern more. I haven't seen a single trick play this year! And while I keep hearing how Burris is always a slow starter, it doesn't make it any easier to watch passes being floated that become easy picks, or bullets thrown to spots that, according to the called pattern, a receiver ought to be occupying. Burris has to develop better sight on the field, and not rely on step-counting to "X-marks-the-spot".
DEFENSE - On the line, the Stamps just aren't getting the penetration they need. Thankfully, Hamilton's Jason Maas didn't seem to study the game film of the Edmonton game, or he would have realized that a few steps out the side of the pocket would have put him well outside the reach of the red menace. D-line needs to be more of a threat to the QB, and we need more sack production. As for the coverage... so far, we're bad at covering the short gain, and bad at stopping it from becoming a long run. I've seen a few guys get totally left behind in coverage so far this year, and what bugs me has been the cases where they throw up their hands, as if to say it's not their fault. I hope they all pull it together.
SPECIAL TEAMS - If the offense and defense need a role model, special teams is it. Our kicking game is strong, with Dales punting the heck out of the ball when called upon, and DeAngelis making every FG and EP look easy. When we get the ball, our return men look steady - nothing spectacular, and I would like to see one busted back for a TD this year - but on the whole, we could have done a lot worse. On the other side of the ball, our downfield coverage on punts has been great - the swarm has limited opposition runners to limited gains, not with lucky grabs but with solid containment.
Well, that's my thoughts. I promise, once I find a way to ensure the financial security, I'll have the energy to post more often in the evenings!

June 19, 2006:
YAH BABY!
No, I was not one of those bandwagon-jumpers to cheer on the Oilers. While I'll admit that yes, the Oil did great this year, it still gives me so much happiness in the cockles of my Calgarian heart to watch them lose. Let's just hope those goons who call themselves hockey fans in Edmonton don't stab anyone or burn anything or, gawd forbid, kill anyone on Whyte Ave tonight.
Oh, and yeah, the Stamps won. Whoo. It wasn't pretty. In fact, it was an ugly, ugly game, and I'm thankful that our boys in red were able to pull it together at the last minute. That's all I'll say about that - I'm staying positive about it!
CONGRATS HURRICANES!

June 13, 2006:
Well, I've had a few days to get better. I've been sick as a dog lately, and sitting in the rain to watch the Stamps' final pre-season game didn't help my mental or physical health.
Now, I know, it was only a preseason game, yadda yadda yadda. And while you never want to see your team getting kicked around like that, I do have to admit that I'd rather see them lose by thirty in the preseason when it doesn't matter, and be angry about it all season, than lose like that late in the year or in the playoffs, and sulk about all winter.
So, let's all take a deep breath, relax, let that game go (but don't forget about the lesson from it, boys!), and concentrate on our season opener against the seemingly struggling Eskimoes.
And while we're on the subject of Edmonton, let me get something off my chest. For the last few weeks, as the Oilers have made their miracle run to the finals, all I've heard is "support the Canadian team". I've seen more Oiler jerseys, shirts, hats and car flags in this city than I ever thought possible. And to all of you who could put aside your petty differences and cheer for the Alberta team, I say this:
Boo.
Sorry folks, but you're all wrong. You don't cheer for the bad guys just because they're the only option left. If you are a true Calgary fan (and this goes for Edmonton fans, too), you're more likely to cheer for Satan than our provincial rivals!
I could go on and on here, but I won't. Enough has been said already about this. So, here's hoping the 'Canes finish the job this week, and send the Oilers packing!
One more Edmonton-related comment. You Edmontonians who bragged about your Blue Mile... I don't wanna hear another word. You've proven that not only are you completely unable to behave yourselves, you're no where near having a Red Mile. We had fun-loving partygoers shouting Flames slogans with the occasional partial nudity. You have morons starting fires and stabbing each other. Two hundred arrests in one night? Be proud.
But yes, it's CFL time, so let's put hockey to bed, and get our concentration back on our Stamps. How well will they do this year? It depends on what came out of that horrible loss to BC. Are they mad? Then they'll do fine. But if they shrug it off, then it's going to be a looooong season

May 29, 2006:
So close you can almost taste the beer.
Yes, football fans, it's almost pre-season time, and excitement is high, even in Toronto!
Yes, the closest thing TO will ever get to an NFL franchise has arrived in the form of suspended NFL running back Ricky Williams. Yes, this drugged up and reportedly dried out superstar has landed with the Argos, and is ready to take the league by storm.
Excuse me if I don't swoon like a little girl at a Backstreet Boys concert here.
Williams, in my learned estimation, will be a great thing for the league in terms of ticket sales. Everyone in every city will want to witness the magic that is an NFL player running roughshod over the rest of our worn-out and broken down has-beens and ne'er-wills in the CFL, right?
But I don't expect that. I know that the haters decry the talent of our league, calling us bush league and all... but I think our players are well adapted to the CFL game. Will an NFL-style running back prosper here? Or will this be another failed US experiment? Regardless, I hear EDM is trying to get TO out of Dallas... just kidding.
But enough about Williams! Let's talk Stamps!
I know, it's far too early to see what sort of team has re-assembled from last year's surprise run to the playoffs. And I know better than to assume that last year will be repeated. Every team in the CFL got better with the death of Ottawa and willing of their worldly goods. Saskatchewan even got a quarterback! So to say that just because our boys in red did well last year will mean a repeat of past successes is short-sighted. I think competition will be stiffer than ever this year, and games are going to be more exciting that ten Super Bowls! Now, I don't want to oversell it, so we're just going to have to wait and see.
Of course, in my heart, I think the Stamps are like the Goodyear tire spokesman this year - we're going to Winnipeg!

April 11, 2006:
So, it's come to this.
Ottawa is gone - perhaps forever - and that means there are 65 players, give or take, looking for work. The CFL has announced a dispersal draft for tomorrow... and I've said it before and I'll say it again - I don't like it.
To be honest (and selfish), I've looked at the Ren roster, and there's not much there that the Stamps need. We'll be picking fourth overall, after Hamilton, Winnipeg and Saskatchewan. Now, those first three picks will more than likely be Joseph, Banks and Woodcock or Armstead. QB Joseph is the plum in an otherwise average pudding, but Hamilton isn't really looking for a QB right now, after dipsy-doodling Maas out of Edmonton. But you don't pass up that big of a fish just because you prefer chicken. Look for the TiCats to make some sort of deal with Saskatchewan for the out-of-work pivot, either in a pre-draft deal, or a quick turn-about right after the pick. Joseph could also be put to good use in Winnipeg, but something tells me they don't have the financial wherewithall to make an offer he can't refuse. The Ticats could use another good receiver, though, so look for them to walk away with Woodcock. Winnipeg with bite the bullet and pay Banks, Saskatchewan will - by hook or by crook - take Joseph home... so where does that leave the Stamps?
It means there'll be a good receiver left on the table, but to be honest, we've got more than our fair share. To draft a catcher right now is a gamble - will he be good enough to crack the roster? If, by some miracle, Winnipeg pulls in a receiver and Banks is left, I'd grab him, despite the reportedly high cost - you can't put a dollar sign on INTs.
More realistically, there are two guys from the RIPegades that'd I would like the Stamps to try for:
Ibrahim Khan, OL: Winnipeg has been quoted as calling him "a ratio breaker" because he is a Canadian who can start on the offensive line, freeing up an import at a skill position. The 6-ft. 4-in., 305-pounder is an impact player for most squads. At 25, the tackle could anchor a CFL o-line for another decade, and let's face it, the Stamps could use another quality o-lineman.
Val St. Germain, OL: Ditto. A solid Canadian veteran who could also become a ratio breaker. St. Germain was named Ottawa's top offensive lineman last year. Yes, at 34 his best years are behind him but would be a solid addition to the Stamps' lineup. He's my reserve choice, if by some miracle, we couldn't get Khan.
So why not Joseph, Banks, Woodcock or Armstead, you ask? Simply put, our QB situation is a glut already with go-to man Hank, voice-of-age-and-wisdom Danny Mac, and a horde of hungry youngsters. A oft-picked off QB with more yards rushing than throwing ain't in the cards.
Banks? As I said, INTs you can never turn down, but I think our D-unit is pretty solid, and while you could slot him in, I'd rather have a new safety.
And the receivers? That's the one area that we definitely don't need help in! We have an embarassment of riches lining up five-wide, and Woodcock or Armstead would just be another face in the crowd. A good face, true, but either would be too big-money to just blend into the current talent.
But hey, that's just me. I'm just the crazy guy, right?
The thing that still bugs me is the possibility of Ottawa returning next year, and raiding our talent to re-do their roster. Our strengths may keep us from grabbing one of their marquee guys, but it may make us vulnerable when the re-distribution comes next season.

March 31, 2006:
April fools?
Reports abound that the Stamps and Esks have made a trade. Funny, I looked out the window, and I didn't see hell freezing over...
The deal? A third-round draft pick to the Esks, and in return, the Stamps get...
Danny McManus?!?
Okay, there's a lot of different thoughts here. One, I think this is more proof for the pile that the "post-season trade" between the Esks and the Ti-cats was a joke. Maas for OL Bakker and a third-rounder? No way, Jose. But throw Troy Davis into the mix, and that makes a little more sense. Edmonton only agreed to take McManus to make payroll room for the incoming QB. And it still fries me, because that trade is the number one reason I hear from unfans about why the CFL is bush-league... and they're right.
Second, whoo - we get an old QB whose glory days are so far in the past that most of the current Stamps roster has only been around as long as he's sucked. Last year in Hamilton, he went 202 for 361 (56%) in 14 games, for 2,540 yards. Yes, we all know he's got a strong arm. But with only 11 TDs and 18 INTs, and an overall QB rating of 67.41, is THIS the man we think is going to help us - as a backup - for the years to come?
If Danny Mac is second in line to the QB throne, then which young heir apparent is headed for the gallows? Wimprine? Harris? Gesser? All young, all unproven, but wouldn't you hate to see one of them grow into their own with another team?
All in all... well, it is March 31st - maybe this is just an April Fool's Day joke. A horrible, horrible joke.

March 29, 2006:
Whoo! It's been a while! But all this talk about the Ottawa Renegades has shaken the Silver Stampeder from his winter slumber! What in good graces is going on in the nation's capital?
You'd think F-Troop went east or something... oh wait, it's the Gliebermans, right. Who needs F-Troop?
So, is this the end of Ottawa football - again?
News today that head coach and all-'round stylin' dude John Jenkins was handed his walking papers today, joining the embarassing ranks of coaches who were fired before they ever set foot on the sidelines. As far as I know, that's a club of one.
And as much as I groaned when they hired the Stamps old failure, I feel for the guy. He looked like he was going to at least give it the old college try, and in the end, that's all you can really ask for. And who knows, it might have worked.
But, with mere weeks to go to training camp and no coaching staff, I think we can pretty safely bid adieu to the 'Gades. It's a pity, really, but I really hope the CFL learns a lesson in all of this (and no, it's not Don't Trust Glieberman - if they haven't learned THAT by now, they're hopeless!)... I hope they've come to terms with the fact that Ottawa doesn't deserve a football team.
Harsh, I know. I've met a lot of great football fans in the nation's capital, but obviously, a CFL team is not a priority for the majority of sports fans in town. And it's not as though they haven't tried to get interest. Hell, there have been two teams out there!
And don't cry me a river about crappy ownership - we Stamps fans have been there, done that, and we still went to games. Bad team? Tell that to Roughrider fans (no, not your old team the Rough Riders - I mean Saskatchewan fans) who have gone oh, so long without much at all to show for it.
No, sadly, Ottawa just doesn't seem to be a football town, and that's okay. Not every place is suited to the game.
Now, a proposal by the owner of the Edmonton Cracker-Cats (what's up with that name? I can't decide if it's offensive...) really caught my eye - take the Rens, close 'em down for a year, and ship 'em out to Halifax for 2007. If the city could come up with a stadium in time, I'm all for that!
The one thing that, from a local standpoint, really bugs me is the dispersal draft. Of course, all the old Ren players will need a place to go. My guess is, about 40% will catch on with other CFL clubs. Most, sadly, won't be drastic enough of an improvement over what each team has now, and status quo means out you go. But that's life.
However, when and if Ottawa comes back, there'll be another draft, where the newly revived team will raid the other teams for a roster. And do you think they'll only take back those 40% of players who caught on somewhere else? No hope. In our case, the Stamps might pick up one or two players from the Rens... and then lose four or five the next year! Will the three we gain be good enough to cover the five we'll lose? I highly doubt it!
But, to paraphrase a Simpsons episode quoting a famous movie, no owner and no coach make Renegades go away.
And makes the CFL look like a joke of a league - again.

March 6, 2006:
Sorry for the slack showing on this blog - it's been a busy time! Yes, we got the house, and no, I won't tell you where it is! We're all moved in, and despite a shortage of furniture (that's what happens when you go from 350 sq ft to 1800!) we're all settled in. And of course, it's been a busy time at work, with lots of new features on rapid release cycles that are keeping this tech writer busier than a vacuum cleaner on the red carpet! Whoo!
Now, to football. First off, three cheers for Coach Flanders! Yes, Tom Higgins is coach of the year in the CFL. Hey, anyone who can take a team as bad as the Stamps were the previous season, and take them to hosting a playoff game deserves a lot of credit! Good job!
Now, the season's starting to creep ever closer, and rest assured, I'll be posting more often as the fever hits!

January 9, 2006:
Well, it's an exciting time around the Silver Stampeder household. The big deal? The idea that we might actually get a household! Yes, we've decided it's time to leap into the housing market before our fair city prices itself forever out of our price range, and relegates us to a lifetime of rentals. So, here's hoping. We've got some irons in the fire as we speak, and one optimistic agent has suggested that we might be looking at houses as early as next week! Stay tuned, but if you don't know where I live now, don't expect to be invited to the housewarming party (unless you promise to bring a really nice gift).
As for football news, well, the CFL is down for the year, but it's nice to see former Bomber Mike Sellers get in there for the Washington Redskins. But, well, a former CFLer isn't enough to make me cheer for them.
I was really hopeful that we would see a Manning vs. Manning Super Bowl, but alas, little Eli couldn't pull it out. Not that blame should rest solely on his shoulders - the Giants as a whole stunk out the joint. So, I'm hoping to see Seattle move forward, and I think Indianapolis and New England will fall by the wayside. Why hate the favourites? Simple - Indy coasted into the playoffs by yanking all their starters - and to me, that spells rust. I don't think they'll be able to shake the sleep mode, and they'll go down hard. New England bugged me this weekend by keeping Brady in far too long in a game that was never in question. One look at Carson Palmer should be enough to remind NFL coaches that inflated stats for a whiny QB who doesn't want to sit aren't worth having ol' Doug Flutie at the controls for a playoff game! (I know, they've got some kid to back up Brady, but we all know if Tom goes down, Doug will see some action, other than dropkicks). Now, don't get me wrong - I like Tom Brady. I like his team-first attitude, most of the time. But seeing him in the game that late, with that big of a lead, makes me think a big ol' dose of karma is gonna land on Brady like a ton of bricks - or like a lineman.
So, that's my NFL wrap-up. Man, I can' wait for the CFL season to start up again!

January 3, 2006:
Well, here's hoping y'all had a happy set of holidays. Of course, it's over now, so get to work!
How was my holidays, you ask? I'll tell you, despite all the wonderful times spent with family and friends over this festive season, the actions of some jerk two days ago have kind of put me in a sour mood.
Seems some immature little punk decided to throw a rather large rock through the front passenger window of the Silver Stampedermobile, sometime between January 1st @ 9pm and January 2nd @ 10am. Happy freakin' new year.
The funny thing is, the loser ransacked the centre console in the front seat, but didn't take anything - including the wad of Canadian Tire money. Leads me to believe that they were looking for something in particular, although I'll be damned if I know what that could be. What worries me is there's another maroon-coloured late 80's Buick in the parking lot of my building, and I think that someone might have been smashing the wrong car.
Whatever. The good folks at Economy Glass on 17th Ave SW are replacing the window as we speak, so here's hoping karma takes over two hundred bucks outta that rock-tossing wanker!
Oh, and my new year's resolution? I'm bucking the trend of the last few years, where I resolved (successfully) to drink more, smoke more, sleep more and eat more bad food. This year, my goal is just to be in better shape. Yes, after running and biking 302km, I've kind of fallen off the fitness routine in favour of an all-vegetable existence. No, not eating veggies - acting like them. Specifically, a couch potato. Now, I ain't planning anything crazy like the run, but it would be nice to get rid of this keg and make strides towards a six-pack of my very own!

November 29, 2005:
Back from the Grey Cup in Vancouver, and I think we spent nearly as much time in the car as we did partying! Next time, I'm flying. But as is the custom, here's the rundown on the events of this past Grey Cup.
November 24th - Jen and I worked a half day, coming in very early to get our affairs in order before running out for a little last-minute shopping prior to the trip. My good buddy Sean (yes, Gomer Strawchuck himself) and his wife Trish were coming with us, and had crashed at our place the night before. So, while we worked, they packed the car in anticipation of our departure.
So, we're off. Well, kinda. We had a hankering for some Peter's Drive In, which while in the exact opposite direction, wasn't too far off the beaten path. Unfortunately, construction delays made the short hop over to Peter's into a very long wait, but we finally made it out of Calgary around 12:30 in the afternoon. We were looking at about a 700km trip today, from Calgary to Kamloops, where we were spending the night with friends of Sean's, before continuing on to Vancouver in the morning.
The drive itself was fairly uneventful on Thursday. The roads between here and there were pretty clear, and with Sean's, shall we say, heavy foot, we made Kamloops in just over five and a half hours. Since this was much, much earlier than our hosts were expecting, we decided to dash into town for a quick bite to eat, and to see if we could find a bottle of wine as a gift. Well, we made the mistake of stopping for food at a little pub attached to a casino in town. Worst service ever. The woman who served us was rude, condescending and once our food arrived, did her best to ignore us completely. Bah. But, we tried not to dwell on it, and ran over to the next door mall in search of a liquor store. Whoops, they're all closed. I guess six is late in Kamloops. Well, strike two. Let's head back to the car before anything else hap.... oh my gawd, is that a parking ticket?
Yes, little towns have active Impark lots too.
So, itching to put a little distance between us and what we hoped was an isolated area of bad vibes, we made our way to our nightly pit stop, managing to find a liquor store at the last minute of our approach to the house.
When we got there, Jen and I were so tuckered out (remember, we were up early for work) that we pretty much just crashed.
November 25th - We started out nice and early. Since Sean and Trish had stayed up a little later than us to gab with their friends, I took the wheel for what was supposed to be an easy three hour jaunt into Vancouver.
Well, the weather thought otherwise. It snowed on the Cocuiholla highway.
For more than two hours, the visibility was no more than fifty feet, and the roadway was almost entirely covered with the white stuff. Now, thankfully, I'm not a nervous driver in winter - all you have to do is be cautious. There was ample evidence that this isn't common knowledge, especially on the other side of the road, where trucks and cars alike seemed to be sliding uphill. But, we did survive the drive. The end of the mountains spelled the end of the snow, and rain took it's place. Thankfully, at least the roads weren't icing up, and despite a long line of meaningless traffic as we neared the edge of the city, we arrived, just a little too late for the Calgary pancake breakfast. Bah.
So, Jen and I were dropped off at our hotel, the Crowne Plaza, and managed the check-in with few difficulties, which was surprising, considering we had reserved our room in February through a third-party provider. The hotel itself was quite nice, but we were a little shocked when we got to our room - to say it was tiny would be an understatement so large, that it would not fit in the room! It was slightly bigger, in total, than our bedroom back home, which is to say is was perhaps a hundred square feet, plus a bathroom. But it was well-equipped and nicely decorated, and since this was only a place to store our gear and catch a few zzz's between parties, we decided to make the best of it.
We did a little sightseeing in downtown Vancouver, and got ourselves fairly lost in the process. But the thing that amazed me, as we wandered aimlessly, was the immediate and visible difference between this year and 1999.
There were signs of the Grey Cup everywhere we went. People in BC Lions jerseys and Grey Cup attire, fans from all over the country in their team colours, and a festive atmosphere that was completely missing in the past.
We met back up with Sean and Trish, and cabbed our way down to Beatty Street, home of much of the Grey Cup festivities. We found a little pub with some room in the back, and called our Vancouver friend Elsie to come join us for some drinks.
Well, as is the Grey Cup tradition, we drank and drank and drank. Elsie and her beau took us to a little blues bar that for the life of me, I can't recall the location of. Sean and Trish begged off early, still feeling the effects of a late night the day before, while Jen and I stayed until the place was good and crowded with Elsie. We ordered a few pizzas, since the bar didn't seem to have a kitchen of it's own, and when I was good and drunk, we wandered back to the hotel for some much needed rest.
November 26th - I woke up in less than mint condition on Saturday morning, but I've felt worse after nights on the town during Grey Cup festivities. I managed to shake off the worst of the headache and don the Grey Cup costume. It was parade time! This was the first year in a long time that I was actually able to watch the parade from the sidelines and enjoy myself. We found a pretty good spot along Cambie Street that had the distinctive flaw of being completely shaded from the warming sunshine. The parade itself was pretty good, except for a few flaws. One, the spacing was awful, meaning the parade took over two hours. We left before the Grey Cup even passed us by, because we just grew too tired of standing. I blame Pam Anderson, personally. She was the parade marshall - she should have had more control over things! As it was, she was too busy getting mugged by the media and trying to look as though she'd fared a little better than I had the previous night (the sunglasses helped).
But the thing that really got my goat were the clowns that ran along the parade route with handfuls of balloons. They were doing balloon animals for the kids, and then charging the parents a buck for it. I thought that was pretty freaking tacky, teasing the kids with the balloons and then hitting the parents for money. That left a bad taste in my mouth.
But otherwise, the parade was fun. I think I entertained a lot of the people who were actually in the parade, and a lot of people stopped to have their photo taken with the Grey Cup.
Well, after watching all we could of the parade, we headed back down to Beatty Street to check out the block party and the CFL Reebok Experience. Really, there wasn't a whole helluva lot down there - a few vendors, but nothing crazy. So, we stopped in to see the exhibits, and tried our luck at virtual quarterbacking - I blame my poor performance on the machine. We also went to the Plaza of Nations, and while Sean and Trish took in the tail end of the cheerleading competition, Jen and I wandered about, with the occasional cheerleader getting their photo with me. We ended up in the Saskatchewan hospitality room, and despite all the bad things I've had to say about Rider fans this year, we were greeted warmly. It seems, with a few sad exceptions, that Grey Cup brings out the best CFL fans, and everyone is friendly towards each other, regardless of rivalries and the like. It was nice to see.
So, having finished a few bevvies at the Rider room, we took off towards the Roxy, home of the Montreal Huddle. Sadly, once we got there, we were turned away. Turns out you had to buy tickets in advance, and they'd sold out days ago. Too bad the program for the Grey Cup festivities failed to mention that! So, we wandered back to our respective hotels, and prepare for the upcoming evening. Not that we did anything too crazy - we went down to the Party on the Pacific tent, and drank beer, collected beads and glowsticks, listened to a cover band who ranged from decent to stupid and left the ladies to get hit on every single time we stepped away from the table! So, to the fella who told my wife he could convert her to a Lions fan in "just one night" and his ilk - get a life! We left pretty late, and stumbled back to the hotels, but not before the first of far too many Eskie fans decided to show me, once again, why I don't like Eskie fans.
Most of the people, as I've said, come to Grey Cup and behave. Sure, we'll poke fun at each other's teams, but it's good natured. But not Eskie fans. Sorry to you if you're one of the good ones, but all I ever seem to find are the bad ones. I find the drunkest, loudest, most arrogant arses ever to disgrace the face of the planet. And let's just say, upon seeing my wife carrying a little Als flag, they decided to call her a few names that, had I not been in a cab already, would probably have started a very large fight.
There was no need for it - it was completely uncalled for and disgusting, and I hope he continued to spew stupidity out of his trash-hole in the wrong direction, and I hope someone broke his jaw for it. I know, I know, not all Eskie fans are the same, just like any team in any league anywhere. But if you're from Edmonton, man, you've got a lot of reasons to be ashamed of how your fans acted in Vancouver.
November 27th - Well, we'd put the ugliness with the moronic Esk fan out of our heads - it was Grey Cup, today at last! I got myself all Silver Stampedered up, and we hit Beatty Street once again. As per usual, the getup got it's share of attention, and all told, I think there's a few hundred people out there with pictures of yours truly on their memory cards. We met up with Sean and Trish, and after a quick drink in the Rider room, we wandered across the street to BC Place. We had heard that the security was going to be pretty tight for the big game, and that everyone was getting searched on the way in. And since I look a little crazy, we figured we'd be better off going early and avoiding the huge lineups just minutes prior to game time. Of course, they searched me - not that I had anything bad on me - and then their eyes fell on the gigaphone. Gulp.
Now, back in Edmonton, I'd almost lost my gigaphone to security, who were worried I would be yelling into people's ears with it. Funny, they didn't seem to have the same concern for all the Eskie fans with those big plastic horns, but that's besides the point.
As we had been coming up to the stadium earlier in the day in BC, a security gal had walked over to us, and asked about the gigaphone.
"Is that thing loud?" she asked. Oh no. Was she going to tell me that I couldn't bring in my mouthpiece? So, at her request, I shouted a few things, but I cranked down the volume first so as not to make it overpowering. But as it turns out, she wasn't concerned about my noisemaker in the stadium.
After my demonstration, she asked "okay, now can you yell out "Hi Pinkie; Rock on!"?
So, as this new security guy eyed my toy, I felt my stomach drop away. Please don't take it, please don't take it...
He leaned in....
"So, just don't yell in people's ears with that thing, right?"
Whew. Off the hook again.
So in we went. It's a huge stadium, and I should know - our tickets were one row away from the very top of the whole building! Seriously, behind us was one more row, then a concrete wall! That was it!
Thankfully, we were kind of in the corner of the stadium, so we still had a pretty good view of the field, tiny as it was from that height. So, we loaded up with pizza from the concourse and $7.50 beers, and settled in for the game.
And man, what a game. 60,000 people going absolutely insane, but a bit of a stinker of a first half. So, here comes halftime, and the moment that, apparently, a lot of people had been waiting for - the Black Eyed Peas!
...at least I think that's who it was. Sitting waaaaaay up back as I was, I heard some muffled shouting and what could have been singing, but I'm really not sure. So, kinda pointless for me.
But then the game started back up again, and from that point on, whoo, we had ourselves a battle! Back and forth and back again! And that play where Cavillo caught his own tip and tried to whip it downfield, only to have what looked like a sure TD dropped? The place was shaking!
But sadly, when it came down to the final gun, the Esks had won. Now, I did the noble thing, and shook a few hands of those who wore green and gold, but it certainly hurt to watch them celebrating on the field, and it hurt even more to have to listen to those Eskie fans. I even had small green and gold children yelling mocking statements at me. Well, gotta start 'em young in Edmonton, I suppose. Here son, go laugh in that guy's face.
But it was a helluva game, no doubt about it.
As we left BC Place, we started up Robson, which was quickly overrun with fans, bringing the road and all crossroads to an utter standstill. You would think the city would have been a little better prepared for this eventuality, but they didn't appear to think about what to do with 60,000 people trying to fit on the sidewalks. For the most part, the fans were all pretty friendly and in good moods, except for a couple of jerks who thought it would be funny to take a photo of themselves in front of a sleeping homeless guy. Funny thing is, the only people who stepped up to tell them to leave the poor guy alone were Calgary fans.
We kept going up and up Robson, trying to find somewhere to grab a bite to eat. Naturally, most sports pubs, bars and the like were filled to the brim and beyond, so we kept looking until we got to this little place called Savory Coast. It was fairly unbusy, but we didn't figure out why until we got in there. Whoops, fine dining. But, remarkably, they let us in, despite wearing our "Sunday best" of football attire, and served us as though we were normal folks. The food was remarkable, and we decided that from now on, after the Grey Cup game, we would all go out for a fine dining experience to try to match this one. Honestly, if you're reading this in the Vancouver area, go to Savory Coast - 1133 Robson Street. It was a fantastic meal!
And so, after consoling ourselves in ahi tuna and lamb chops with a few pitchers of sangria for a few hours, we ventured back towards our hotels, and a decent night's sleep before the big drive home.
Unfortunately, we came across more Eskie fans.
As we walked down Robson, there was a commotion kitty-corner to us, with a lot of screaming coming from some bushes. There was me, Jen, two 'Rider fans and a normal looking couple standing at the corner, waiting for the light to change. We all eyed each other, and stared at the bushes nervously. Finally, the lights changed, and we were moving away from the disturbance when the Eskie fans, who had been making the noise, slowly began to appear from the bushes.
"Kill all Calgary fans!" they screamed, at no one in particular. Thankfully, we were a good half block away by this point, and I don't think they saw us. If they had, I'm afraid that the walk home wouldn't have been very pleasant at all.
Thankfully, we avoided them long enough to scamper back to our hotel, and relative safety. Now, we were staying in a very nice hotel, and obviously, I wasn't the only one who thought so. The Als were staying there as well, and appeared to be having a sort of gathering on the second floor. A few of the family members were on the elevator with us, and while I certainly can't describe their mood as jubilant, they seemed to be in good spirits. We wished them a good night, and hit the hay.
November 28th - Sean and Trish picked us up from the hotel around 9am Vancouver time, and we started the long trek back to Calgary. Of course, before we left, the hotel maid had to tell us about how upset she was that the Als lost, because they had all signed her book, and how she hadn't watched the game but when she heard that the Als were losing she prayed to God but it didn't do any good, even though they all signed her book, and it made her so f**king mad...
So, it was a good time to leave.
The ride home was long, and rather uneventful. It took about 10.5 hours to get back to Calgary, with a few bathroom breaks thrown in for the gals. But by the end, hooo boy, did it feel good to be home!
Well, that's it for this season, boys and girls. Stay tuned for next season, and another exciting year of Stampeders football!

November 20, 2005:
So, who wants some Grey Cup tickets?
Well, you're not getting mine - I'm still going, despite having to watch the Eskimos.
I have to say, I'm pretty disappointed not to see the Stamps in the big game, but I guess them's the breaks. But I do have to say that watching the Western Final was pretty annoying. If this doesn't get the league interested in instant replay, then they really didn't care about the Grey Cup's profitability for Vancouver.
Well, if I can't cheer for the Stamps, at least I can cheer against the Esks.
Go Als Go!

November 10, 2005:
THREE MORE WINS.
Now, everyone else is encouraging calm and rational behaviour. Don't overlook Edmonton, they say. The Esks are tough. It's gonna be a war. Let's not even TALK about the Western Final, let alone the Grey Cup.
I say, thhpt! Full speed ahead! Man the torpedos! The Esks are going down! Whoo!
Will it be a war? Hell yes. Is it winable? Absolutely! Are we going to the Grey Cup? Well, let's just say I've already bought my ticket out west to Vancouver!
I'm through being calm and worrying about jinxing the team! Sure, it'll be hard to read this over again come Monday if the Stamps lose, but they won't! This is the team that went from the very lowest of lows, and they're going to complete the fairy tale on Sunday and whomp those Eskies even worse than last week! There's all this talk that the Esks are mad, that they're going to come out with a fire in their bellies. Well, to quote Bart's dance teacher, you need more than belly fire! The Stamps are going to rumble all over Edmonton, and then it's straight to BC, baby! Look out Lions, here comes the underdog-turned-juggernaut!
I'll be there on Sunday, and if you live within a 100km radius of the stadium and decide not to show up, you suck. I know, harsh words. But this is a playoff game, and we're going to win! Come on out and support our team! Show 'em who the REAL best fans in the league are! Go Stamps Go!
...gawd, it feels good to believe again.

October 31, 2005:
Four more wins.
That's all the Stamps need in order to hoist the Grey Cup in little under a month in Vancouver, and you know something?
They could do it.
I'll keep this brief - great win over Winnipeg this weekend. The team really looks like they're gelling at the right time. Here's hoping they steamroll the Eskies on Sunday, and give us a home playoff game for the first time in a loooong time!
Oh, and don't come here looking for comments on the Trevis Smith thing. I ain't touching that one with a ten-foot pole!
Happy Halloween!

October 24, 2005:
Well, I gotta say that I'm glad I watched that game on Sunday, rather than tuning in to my NFL Sunday Ticket like I do every other Sunday. I don't think I would have believed that game without seeing it myself!
Whoo! What a finish!
But it's not all great - the Stamps came out stale in the first half. Not to harsh on the good vibes coming off the win, but they stunk so bad in the first half that even the Rider fans looked sympathetic!
Well, not too sympathetic.
I would say the behaviour of the Riders fans in attendance on Sunday was as expected - they were loud, rude and brash. No biggie. But I do take issue with TSN's coverage of the melee in the stands, going as far as to show signs refering to bestiality and containing swearing, although not the big three, as Marge Simpson would say.
Completely without taste - just like the commentating. Once again, I muted the TV and turned on QR77 for the play-by-play.
But kudos to the Stamps for shaking off a brutal first half and coming out with a fire in the third quarter. The defense and special teams, especially, looked like players possessed out there late in the game. If we keep playing like that, we're going to go a long ways in the playoffs...
Ahh, the playoffs. The forgotten land. It's so nice to be able to say "clinched a playoff spot" and "Calgary" in the same sentence again. Thank you, new owners!
But this is no time to rest on our acchievements - we have two games left against Winnipeg and Edmonton. We are currently two points behind the Eskies for second in the West. If we win both games and Edmonton loses both, we get second. If we win both and Edmonton wins their other game, then we tie, and we'd be 2-1 in the season series with the Esks - second place again for us!
So it's all up to us - we don't have to wait and depend on someone else losing like Saskatchewan does now (Go 'Gades!) - we control our own destiny.
Here's hoping destiny means a home playoff berth, and a trip out to Vancouver - I've already got my tickets!

September 23, 2005:
Three-peat!
Yes, it was cold last night in McMahon, but the Stamps were hot! The team was firing on all cylanders, with only a few exceptions:
Kori Dickerson did not look good out there, and I've yet to be impressed by this highly-touted receiver. He's got hands of stone, and doesn't seem to give too much effort on the field. I'm hoping he's just taking his sweet time adjusting to the Canadian game...
Jason Gesser went down hurt last night, and performance aside, I hate to see anybody get hurt. Here's hoping the high ankle sprain heals quickly and strongly. That being said, a return to health should not mean a return to starting at QB. True, he's a backup thrown into a starting role, but how come Danny Wimprine isn't using that excuse? D-Wimp looked like a seasoned vet last night filling in for Gesser, and he didn't have any time to prepare! Wimprime impressed last night, and he should keep the starting job until Burris gets back - I think he'll be a very competent backup, and hopefully will grow into Hank's job when the time comes. A lot to expect, based on one game against a free-falling Eastern team, but Calgary's used to pinning high hopes on quarterbacks. Guesser either needs more time in the understudy position, perhaps. Or maybe he's just not starting QB material.
I know, a lot of negative thoughts there. Sorry, can't help it sometimes.
But the good news is, Calgary is 7-6 and the playoffs, once thought to be a pipe dream this season, are not firmly within reach.
Best case scenario? Calgary beats Montreal, Hamilton, Saskatchewan, Winnipeg and Edmonton, ending up 12-6. That would mean beating both the Riders and the Esks, which would give us the season series in both battles, in case of a tie in the standings. 12-6 means we're in the playoffs, and maybe - just maybe - will get us a home playoff game. As it stands now, we're in second in the West.
More likely, we'll lose at least once along the way, probably to Montreal or Edmonton, but I don't see the Stamps finishing worse than 10-8. Saskatchewan still has to deal with Toronto, BC twice, Montreal and us. They're 6-6 right now, and using my assumptions as a guide, they can't lose more than two games to stay in the Western playoff race. It'll be a tough go for the Riders.
But what about hosting a playoff game? Edmonton is currently in second, and still has games remaining against BC twice, Hamilton, Toronto, Saskatchewan and Calgary. They're 7-5. They'll also need to win at least three to keep pace with expectations for Calgary, and have tough games coming up against the Lions, Argos and of course, us. Not to mention their current losing streak.
And speaking of losing streak, let's not forget the playoff options offered to us by the meak East division via crossover. Montreal (5-6), Ottawa (5-8) and Hamilton (2-10) aren't exactly making it tough right now, meaning even if Sask and Edm keep pace with us, there's always the option of knocking Ottawa or Montreal (who are we kidding, Hamilton's gone) out of the Eastern playoff run.
But it's all speculation, for now. We'll have to keep an eye on this weekend's games to get a slightly more clear picture of how close the Stamps are to returning to the playoffs.

September 19, 2005:
Well, it's been a long time since the last update, and I hope you'll forgive me - I'm a little run down.
Bad pun, but it's true.
For those of you who've seen www.labourdayclassic.com, you'll know all about my crazy exploits. For those of you who missed it, I ran the game ball from the Labour Day Classic up to Edmonton in time for the rematch.
And now, I hurt.
But at least now, I have a chance to stop, catch my breath, and prepare for the stretch drive. Who'd have thought the Stamps would still be in it?
Well, most of Calgary, that's for sure.
Now, that's not to say the Stamps have been great in the last two games: in fact, the Labour Day rematch was an ugly game that Edmonton gave away, and while beating Hamilton should be no sweat, the boys sure made it seem difficult for a while.
But we're 6-6, and even without Smilin' Hank, I think we've got a shot at the playoffs in a few different scenarios.
-What I consider the most likely option, we do well down the stretch with a relatively easy schedule, while Saskatchewan flounders under the "leadership" of Crandall and the pressures of a very tough list of opponents. We get the last playoff spot in the West, and face a very tough Eskimo team in Edmonton for the semis.
-Less likely, we rock the rest of the season while Edmonton expands on their current two game losing streak. They lose their hold on second place, and we host either the Esks or Riders in McMahon for the semis.
-Even less likely (although a lot of this depends on the QB situation), we pull a Hamilton for the rest of the year, let the Riders in for the last playoff spot in the West, and do the crossover to the East, knocking Ottawa out and taking on Montreal for the semis.
-And most unlikely of all, we bomb like Dubya in Baghdad, the Riders go in for the West, and the Bombers move to the East, and we ponder bringing back Kevin Feterik.
But does any of this matter? Isn't it going to be the Lions and the Argos in the Grey Cup anyways?
We'll have to wait and see. It's too early for me to trot out my playoff predictions!

July 24, 2005:
Ooooooooh, what a rush!
Now that's what I was waiting for! Whoo! What a game!
The Stamps came out and performed in every department, bar none! Hank looked strong and confident in the pivot position, the receivers were sure-handed and went for the extra yard on the second effort every time, the run game was unstoppable, the kicking proved to be the best in the league thus far, and the dee and special teams were dominant! Whoo!
Break it down now:
Henry Burris shut those Riders fans up, and quick! Despite a few bad decisions, including that INT he lobbed up, I thought he put in a solid effort. He ran when he could, handed off when they weren't expecting it, and passed at will. This is the Henry Burris we've all been waiting for!
The receivers... Copeland, Rambo, wow. They were there when Burris needed him, and looked like the stellar group they are, finally! They came into this game fired up, and made the Riders D, which was supposed to bury them, look like obstacles rather than mobile players!
The O-Line did a pretty good job of giving Hank time in the pocket, and when the rush did get through, they were good at giving him the time to scramble, and blocking out for the run.
The run game was unstoppable! Reynolds was like a phantom, slipping through the Rider D like the wind, twisting and blowing past before they even noticed him. Whoo! There were a few plays where he seemed to be slammed up in the backfield, only to turn back at the last moment and rush up another lane for big gains!
The defence showed their dominance, once again! (By the way, note to Riders fans: that fumble WAS a fumble! Nealon released the ball while still in the backwards motion, probably from the fear of seeing big Red D rumbling down on him like a landslide!) The dee was great at rushing Greene, hauling down receivers and stopping up the running lanes!
The special teams were great! Decent gains on almost every return, and keeping the Riders to little or no gains on their return attempts, save one or two.
And finally, but not lastly, the kicking. Sandro is a kicking phenom! Mr. Perfect hit some AMAZING kicks that made McCallum look like a fan drawn out of the stands for a Kick To Win contest. Let's hope SD can keep the streak alive in BC!
And I've got to say something here about the fans in attendance at last night's game. There were, by my guess, around 15,000 green Rider fans at McMahon last night (by the way, all of the tickets you bought equalled enought to pay for Hank's salary for the year! Thanks!) I've got to give them credit for the tailgate party they threw at Foothills - impressive amount of organization! But sadly, Rider fans, you've got an image problem. I'll grant you that most Rider fans are decent people who were there to watch the game. Unfortunately, it's the bad (watermellon) seeds who taint the whole experience. Yes, those Rider fans who get drunk and start fights. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - if you're one of those Rider fans, go back to Regina and stay there. We don't want you here. You're pathetic, annoying and boorish.
And a big thumbs-down to all the Rider fans sitting in Section M who, rather than show a modicum of respect and sing along with our national anthem, chose to shout Rider slogans like a bunch of morons. You should be ashamed! I sure was...
At any rate, a first-class effort from my Stamps! Keep it up, boys! And don't listen to those Rider fan excuses - you whupped 'em! Fair and square! Go Stamps Go!

June 9, 2005:
This comes as no surprise to me - the Stamps have made some cuts. There's two I don't know much about - defensive backs Jeremy Pearl and Nashville Dyer, but the other four are fairly high profile - receivers Denis Montana, Kenyatta Morgan and Sulecio Sanford, and quarterback Darnell Kennedy.
Of course, we seem to have a glut of receivers - Copeland (superstar), Juhasz, Jenkins, Nik Lewis (the future of the Stamps recieving corps), local guy Ralph, Rambo (possibly the best name for a new jersey) and others - so it's not surprising that someone's gotta go. And while Morgan was not a surprise in the least for me, I liked what Montana and Sanford did last year, and nostalgia makes me sorry to see them go.
As for Kennedy, well... don't wanna say I told you so, but... it's that ESPN kicking in again.

June 9, 2005:
Okay, that was a cold, wet game.
I think I'll be warm by sometime next month.
But it was worth it to see the Stamps back in action again, and things looked good, despite the rain and the Rider fans, both of which were far too abundant in McMahon.
Quick impressions: Henry Burris looked average, but I'm not going to judge based on this. Let's see how he handles the offense when Moses isn't trying to get Quick-Six onto the Ark. Jason Gesser looked very impressive - I renew my prediction that he'll be #2, and Kennedy will be the odd man out. Darnell looked lost, and sadly, I don't think he did enough to impress.
Two recievers caught my eye, for completely different reasons. Jermaine Copeland, despite a drop or two, looked impressive, and I'm sure we're all going to be signing his praises come November. On the other end of the spectrum, import Kenyatta Morgan dropped some very catchable balls, and I think his next reception will be of a one-way ticket outta town.
And kudos to the kicking game - Sandro DeAngelis looked great with his three FG's... to be honest, I was worried. And while one pre-season performance does not a confident kicking team create, I'm hopeful that we've got that area licked.
I'm looking forward to the next pre-season game in BC, which with the great weather under the 'dome, should give a clearer picture of where the Stamps are heading this season.
Oh, and speaking of pictures... sorry, digital cameras and monsoons don't mix. I'll try to snap some shots on Canada Day to post, I promise.
BTW, anybody know if that guy who tried to get out on the field was a Sask fan? He wasn't a streaker as I predicted, but kudos to the on-field security for a quick collar. Didn't even make it to the sidelines!
But a failing grade to those who should be watching the conduct in the seats, and an even worse grade to those whose conduct needed watching. There were a couple of drunks in our section, smoking and cursing, and getting as close to falling-down drunk as humanly possible, and yet not an eye was turned their way. I know it was cold and wet, but the ushers need to keep an eye out for louts like this. He was taunting a lot of green Rider fans, and we're all just lucky that it was too cold and wet to ignite a good donneybrook.
In any event, you'll have to excuse me - I have to go dry off some more... still.

June 6, 2005:
Well, looks like I've got ESPN - yep, I can tell the future when it comes to sports. Well, at least when it comes to the Stamps current QB situation.
As predicted back almost a month ago, the Stamps have said "so long" to Mike Souza, despite recent rumblings that Ottawa-rebound pivot Darnell Kennedy looked to be the weaker of the two in training camp. But with the recent signing of Ben Dougherty, the big German who spend time at Florida A&M behind a certain Casey Printers, it might spell the end - again - for Darnell. Hey, maybe the Gliebermans will effort to bring him back to the Renegades/Rough Riders. Hey, I smell a name change comin'.
And as for Tom Denison? That's right, he's no longer in the Stamp's picture. He signed with Toronto, and has a tough fight to crack the line-up, competing against old man Allen, AFL'er Bishop, Scott Covington and Charlie Peterson. Good luck, canuck!
But the big thing on my mind these days is that upcoming preseason tilt against those hated Green Riders. Man, I can't wait to see Smilin' Hank rip up a few touches to our impressive receiving corps... break his neck? Nah, he'll just ring yours, Saskatchewan.
And note for GM Shivers: Shut up. Sure, it wasn't an actual threat you made against our guy Burris, but geez, do you have a brain in your head? That sort of comment, made by a fan, would be nothing special, but you're representing your team. You should be above ridiculous trash talk. And gawd forbid something should happen to Henry Burris on Tuesday. The media will have you fitted for a noose here in Cowtown, and I for one think you'll have deserved it. You and your big mouth.
Well, that's all for me and MY big mouth for this edition - see ya at the tailgate, and GO STAMPS GO! 35-21 for the Stamps is my prediction, and watch for at least one Green streaker, rain or no rain...

May 19, 2005:
Encouraging news for us Stamps fans: Researchers say that the colour red is tied to success in sports. Read more here.
And my condolances to Khari Jones. Buddy, don't buy any lottery tickets right now. First, you come to Calgary and get dislodged by Henry Burris. Now, your new team, the Eskimos, have signed Jet-dropped "Frito" Ray. Now, they won't cut Maas, which means you'd better pack your bags - again. Man, what's an over-the-hill QB gotta do to get some respect in this league?
Oh yeah - play for Hamilton.

May 10, 2005:
Remember last season, when we all sat in the stands and watched Crandall throw INT after INT and we complained about the Stamps not making any moves to get some more help at the quarterback position? Well, somebody sure was listening!
The Stamps now have five - yes, five - quarterbacks to chose from, and none of them are related to any of the ownership group (I think). There's everyone's favourite starter, Henry "Smilin' Hank" Burris, fresh from sitting on the bench for a cup of coffee with the NFL Chicago Bears, and a full season of having the Saskatchewan "faithful" chew on him like a rawhide dog treat. Then, there's Micheal "Last Man Standing" Souza, the final link between at pivot to the past; and Darnell "Triumphant Return" Kennedy, back from Ottawa. Sounds like a pretty good group to start the season with, eh?
Apparently not.
The Stamps have gone off and signed up two more QBs in the past week or so - both coming from BC, and both with NFL time under their belts.
First, it was Jason Gesser, whose rights we aqquired from the Lions in exchange for a pick in next year's draft. And really, what loss is that to us? We draft guys who chose to withdraw their eligibility and go back to school. But that's another matter. We traded for Gesser's rights, apparently never expecting to sign him, but word is that he's John Hancock'ed a contract with the Red and White. Gesser's been with the Tennessee Titans for the last two seasons, but to be honest, I don't recall seeing him. Then again, I'm not the Silver Titan, now am I?
And just in the past few days, the Stamps have signed BC's former backup-backup-backup (yeah, behind starters Dickensen and Printers, as well as Spergon Wynn) Giovanni Carmazzi. Again, what I know about this guy would fit comfortably in a thimble, but he's got time with the 49ers as well as the Lions, so he can't be that bad...
Now, there's no way the Stamps will carry five QB's into the season, so the question becomes who will be left standing once the music stops? Sorry Mike, I think it's you. You're the last embarrassing remnants of what Matt Dunnigan tried to call an offense, and you're a sore spot on the throwing arm of the new ownership. Too bad, as I still say Souza's got skillz.
Now, out of the remaining four, you have to think that the only guy who's safe is Burris, but there's talk - although not much of it - that Gesser will challenge for the starter's position, resigning Hank to the bench once again in a backup capacity. I guess time will tell. I don't have any favourites, as long as whoever's at the helm can steer us over Khari's Eskies and Crandall's Alouettes!
But what I wanna know is, what does this mean for Canadian 'chucker Tommy Dennison? Hah!

May 3, 2005:
Looks like Reebok's CFL consultants have their offices across the river from New York City, because the league has new jersey fever!
Okay okay, so it's a bad pun. It's the off-season, give me a break, would ya?
In any event, the CFL announced yesterday that every team has new jersey designs for home and away. For some teams, like Montreal in particular, have almost no changes at all, while our beloved Stamps have undergone quite the makeover. Don't fret, it's still red, white and black (sadly, no silver was added), but the model for ours - and indeed, most of the new looks - seems to be the NHL's Atlanta Falcons.
Now, don't get me wrong. My first impression (and so far, that's all I've had time for) is that our new unis may not have been my first choice for a new look, but they ain't that bad. In fact, I'm thinking about diversifying the Silver Stampeder wardrobe with one of those fancy new road whites. It's nice to have choices, don't you think?
Speaking of choices, a poor one was made recently in the CFL draft. Miquel Robede, our first selection in this year's draft, isn't going to be in Calgary anytime soon. Turns out this hot prospect, who would have been number three in the depth chart on the line, has decided to return to Laval to finish his bachelor's degree in administration before making himself available for the NFL draft next season.
Best of luck, buddy. The NFL isn't hot on kids who get booted from Miami, end up in a Canadian school, and then show themselves to be unreliable by entering the draft, only to flip-flop and decide to rescind their draft eligibility. I have no problem with the kid wanting to finish his education - it makes sense, since you can't play football forever. But if this was his intention all along - and he says it was - then he's a jerk for declaring. In the 'States, once you declare for the draft, your college days are over. It should be the same up here. Sadly, smart money says Robede didn't go back because he wants to finish his courses. He probably went back to get out of playing with the Stamps. So be it.
Instead, we went out and picked up ex-Esk and former NFLer Rahim Abdullah. Sorry Miquel, you're now number four on the depth chart. But good luck with the NFL, and hey, if that doesn't work out, there's lots of work in the administration of a football team...

March 14, 2005:
It begins again.
The season is soon upon us, and the Silver Stampeder has begun to rise from his yearly hibernation. It's been a deep sleep this year, with no NHL hockey to disturb my slumber. And, to my embarassment, I must admit that I haven't been to a Hitmen or Roughnecks game in lieu. So, I'm just like everyone else in town who said they'd attend other sporting events when the Flames failed to take to the ice. I'm sad to say, I'm not missing hockey all that much.
But I am eager for the new football season to start! Whoo! What an off-season! New ownership! New coach! New quarterback! New seats! I'm all a tizzy with excitement!
New ownership! Well, I wish I was able to get in on the deal, but this is the next best thing. Local owners! Yay! So to all the new owners, be they web geeks, former players or bored NHL execs, I say welcome!
...Now, don't screw it up.
New coach! Welcome back Tom Higgins! I'm glad to see him return from the land of the Green and Gold - here's hoping he'll bring some of that winning spirit with him - without the taint of Eskimo on it!
New quarterback! Now, this isn't nearly the surprise of the year. Smilin' Hank was going to be a Stamp again. Too bad about Khari Jones - made that deal with Winnipeg a real stinker for the Stamps! Seems as though the new management is trying it's damndest to bring back everyone the old regime let go - Darnell Kennedy, Henry Burris... I'm waiting with baited breath for the return of Joe Fleming. Notice I ain't holding my breath, though.
New Seats! Yep, the Silver Stampeder is moving up to style this year - Section C, here we come! You see, while we loved the atmosphere in Section B most of the time, there were things we'll be happy to be leaving behind. The lack of defined seating on the benches meant too many flabby fans oozing onto our seats - no more! We have seats, not bleachers! And the overrun of green whenever Saskatchewan comes to town - no more! Those stubble-jumpers always get the cheap seats! Hahaha!
There'll be a lot to be happy about this football season. The team seems to be headed in a good direction this year, and of course, there'll be tailgates aplenty! The Silver Stampedermobile is being prepped for a new season (and it needs it, after the fire next door this winter!), and there's a new fundraiser in the works for TSS - details to come, but sufficed to say, we're in it for the long run...
I just can't wait for it all to begin!

November 5, 2004:
Well, it's all over for another year. Perhaps at some other time, I'll recap my feelings about this season. I think you can guess, though.
But now it's playoff time in the CFL, and I'm gonna break down the matchups and make my pick for the Grey Cup.
In the East, the Argos-Ticats game will be marred by horrible attendance, and a tragic injury as the best bench-bound receiver in football today will suffer a broken arm in an autograph scrum when TO fans confuse him for TO. Back to the game, and Damon Allen and Danny McManus will trade tips on how to avoid breaking a hip. But all joking aside, it doesn't matter who wins this game, because next up is Montreal, who is destined for another trip to the big game. But, what the heck, let's say Hamilton will pull this one out.
In the West, it'll be a donnybrook between the Riders and the Eskimos. Since I dislike both of these teams, I really don't care... but I'm hoping for lots of blooper reel material. I say Nealon Greene makes an amazing return, only to get laid out by a wayward thrown flag. Danny Barrett does what Matt Dunigan should have done and straps on the pads, but it won't be enough to stop an Eskimo team who, suddenly and without warning, decides to show up. But the following week, the QB Turnstile of Printers in the first, Dickenson in the second, Wynn in the third and whoever else they've got in the fourth quarter will put the Esks out for the winter.
So it's BC-Montreal in the Grey Cup in Ottawa. Being geographically closer to home, and being used to being outdoors, I say Montreal's gonna clean up, sacking every BC quarterback a dozen times or more, en route (notice the french!) to another Grey Cup, and an MVP award for little Ezra Landry, who will return three kicks for TDs!
Hey, it may not happen that way, but you know I'm a dreamer. I am a Stamps fan, after all...

October 27, 2004:
Well, I’ve taken a few days to calm myself down after the last Stamps game… and it hasn’t helped. I’m still ticked off.
At who? Well, isn’t it obvious? I’m mad at the one man who cost the Calgary Stampeders the game with one very screwy call that everyone watching knew was wrong.
Yeah, I’m upset with Matt Dunigan.
Everyone has been concentrating on this rugby-esque kick-and-recover play. How the officials blew it. And yes, they did. And that’s especially maddening considering the latest report saying that the zebras discussed this trick play of Calgary’s right before the game. So they knew it might be coming, and still couldn’t get a handle on it.
But it’s easy to berate the refs. They’re the ones that have to make split-second decisions, and god help them if they make a mistake. They don’t have instant replay to assist them, either. They’re not full-time employees, so they don’t have the off-season to train and improve. They’re regular working stiffs the rest of the year. So as much as I want to join in with the torch-wielding mob calling for Jake Ireland’s head on a platter, I can’t.
It’s a tough job, and one I wouldn’t take for all the tea in China.
Being a coach is also a tough job, and thus far, I’ve held back from criticizing Dunigan. He’s a rookie to the coaching role, the GM role, the offensive coordinator role… not to mention the concussions. But his poor play calling cost the Stamps the game against BC. Allow me to explain, as I see it. Greathouse, with less than a minute left in the game, has to kick the ball away from inside his own five yard line. Not a great place to be. Even with the lack of wind inside BC’s domed stadium, you’re probably going to end up with a surging Casey Printers on the wrong side of the 55. But you’re up by a field goal, so you boot it and have faith in that defense that they can hold them out of the endzone, and at worst, BC gets into field goal range. Duncan O’Mahoney ain’t that accurate, so you’ve got a good shot of winning the thing. Heck, even if, by some miracle, he hits it, so what? You’re going to overtime.
But no. Instead, Greathouse runs back into the endzone and GIVES UP TWO POINTS IN A THREE-POINT GAME! Now, BC is but a mere point from putting the game into extra time. Yeah, that’s a missed FG that sails through the endzone, something that O’Mahoney is a pro at. But even worse, if BC (starting at their own 35) manages to get into field goal range, they could kick the winning field goal!
Now, let’s look at this. Greathouse averages about 44.2 yards per kick. Starting from the five or so, you can imagine that, in these decent conditions, he could have made it out to between the 50 and 55 yard line. If Antonio Warren gets it, he averages 22.3 yards per return. Let’s say he gets that. BC starts at somewhere near the Calgary 30 yard line. Not great, but remember, this is the defense that held BC out of the endzone on a first-and-goal on the one! With a short field to work with, there’s less room for the receivers to work, and thus, easier to defend. Do we hold them? Maybe we do, and maybe we don’t. But if the do score, it won’t take long from 30 yards out, and at least they would have earned every point that it took to beat us. As it stood, we gave them the bullets.
Now, as for the league refusing to overturn the game results… well, did anyone ACTUALLY think they would? Calgary is out of the playoffs, and a loss for BC could affect their playoff standings! A loss would have put them 11-6, and in danger (however remote) of losing their #1 ranking to either Edmonton or Saskatchewan. So, the CFL did the only thing it could do – say they’re sorry, and move on. Take the verbal abuse from the Calgary fans, give Ireland a slap on the wrist, and move on.
Now, the other complaint to come from that game is another matter altogether. Nik Lewis, who gets my vote as rookie of the year, says that an official told him “get off the field; I don’t understand Ebonics” during the scrum that ensued after the ruckus about the blown call at the end of the game.
If it’s true, and I have no reason to believe that a person would make something like this up, then that official should be summarily fired. No excuses, no second chances. Fired. Gone. Out. Done.
I think this decision, not the last one, will be the more important decree by this league. Bobble this call, and I may even let Matt Dunigan off the hook in favour of Tom Wright.

October 18, 2004:
Whoo! Chalk one up in the win column!
That game was full of emotion. Sadness, as it's the last home game of the Stamps season. Joy, because we won, and looked good doing it. And... well, is cold an emotion?
Man, it was brutal cold. Out of the eight or nine people who showed up at the start of the game, only three stuck it out to the end - Me, Tom and Jen. And Jen was only there because I was her ride home!
The game was great, and Khari, aside from one or two poor choices, looked pretty fantastic in red. But he's new, and I'm excited to see what he can do with the offense once he's well and truly entrenched!
And yeah, that was the last tailgate of the year, since sadly, I won't be going to the Grey Cup this year in Ottawa. I'd like to, but with an upcoming wedding to draw out the finances, and a new job that doesn't provide me with much in the way of vacation time (not that I'm complaining, I love my new job!)... but all that means is a HUGE Grey Cup party here in town! Stay tuned for further details!

October 15, 2004:
To paraphrase the Rock, finally - the CFL has come back to Calgary!
Yes, that 16 day layoff has a way of dulling the senses, which is the only reason I can imagine for the Stamps releasing recently-healed kicker Charlie Hebert.
Unless his injury from Labour Day is going to somehow keep him from returning to his old form, there's no way he should be the one to hit the bricks. Greathouse (nee Brickhouse) is an NFL kicker - sky-high and not very deep. Not a good combination for the Canadian game, where he's actually hit downfield coverage in the back with a few kicks!
Word around town has it that 'Ebert got the boot because Greathouse was given a huge signing bonus, and they don't want to waste the money! Boo! If that's your idea of a great management decision, Matt, I ain't impressed!
Don't be surprised when BC picks this kid up to back up oft-horrible Turduncan O'Mahoney.
Now, I'd love to rant and rave on this subject, but it's a busy week, and I have a lot to get to.
Like that asinine stunt pulled by Blue Bomber Keith Stokes. How anyone could think this was a good idea is beyond me. Stokes manages a rare TD, and it a rush to copy Sharpie-wielding NFLers (wow, has it taken that long for him to score, or that long to think of the stunt?), he runs to the goal-post, whips out a magazine, and leans against the post, pretending to read. Of course, he had to be pretending, because he obviously isn't smart enough to be literate! Too bad he hadn't grabbed a copy of the next day's paper, and seen that his team lost the game! Moron, moron, moron! Hey Stokes, what WERE you reading? Cause it obviously wasn't "Tiger Beat"! (Insert drumroll)
And I've heard that, after losing the UofT site to budgets that couldn't be budged any higher, the Toronto Argonauts have settled for a site at York U. Congrats, Argos. Maybe now you won't have to work all year for a home-field advantage, just to have your playoff game bumped from your home stadium because of a Wiggles concert! Yeah, the game in TO will be on Nov 5th, because the Skydome is booked for the weekend - by a childrens entertainment act! Hah! Once again proving the T-Dot doesn't deserve the Argos! Oh well - maybe no one will tell Pinball about the date change, and he can finally feel tall!
Wow, that's harsh. Guess it's CFL withdrawl. Don't worry, I'll feel much better tomorrow! Go Stamps Go!

September 27, 2004:
Well, there's certainly a lot to talk about when it comes to the Stamps this past weekend!
Well, let's start with Friday's game against the BC Lions. Now, those of you who thought Calgary had a prayer, put up your hands. Now, if you have your hand in the air, you're either a liar, or Ron Rooke.
There's no way that Calgary should have been in that game, offensively speaking. I cringed when Marcus Crandall threw bad pass after bad pass. I shuddered when Greathouse (whose nickname, I think, should be Brickhouse... I mean, look at the guy! He ain't built like a kicker...!) booted that kick that sailed so high, and yet so short, as to hit the back of the head of a man in downfield coverage...
But kudos to the defence! No, not kudos, that's not enough. Bravo! Cheers! Halleluyah! Yay! Whoopee!
The D proved that they are (were?) the dominant force on the field that night - just ask Casey Printers! The man was down on all fours on the turf more than a grazing cow! Whoo!
And while I hate to see anyone get injured, it was nice to see Dunigan give Sousa a shot at leading the offence. Yes, he was greatly helped by some iffy calls and some absolutely stupid defensive moves by the Lions, but in the end, it's results that count, and that last-second, come-from-behind win was exactly what the doctor ordered for this franchise!
People left McMahon with a smile on their faces, yelling and hollering, cheering and hooting. And do I feel bad for those "fans" who left early? No!
If you left the game early and missed out on the comeback of the year, I don't want to hear you griping about it! It was a nice night, weather-wise, and I don't care how late it was, the next day was a Saturday. Sleep in or something. No, you left because you're fair-weather fans, and I hope this little wake-up call made you realize that it's stupid to walk out before the end of any sporting event, but especially the CFL, because it ain't over 'til it's over!
And then, we get to Sunday... and I'm not sure about this deal. Now, admittedly, I don't know a whole heckuva lot about tihs Bowles fella that we aqquired, but I sure as shoot have heard of Khari Jones. Now, Khari is coming off a serious injury, he's getting up there in years, and he's going to be put behind an o-line that hasn't been exactly stellar this year. I hope that this will turn out better than Ro Miller (yes, we did get some great players in that deal - just not the ones we thought!). Good luck, Khari, and welcome to Calgary!
But it's a sad day for me, because I'm a huge Joe Fleming fan. But, of course, we all knew this was coming. Joe and Matt, by all accounts, weren't exactly seeing eye to eye these days, and since Joe's contract was up at the end of this season, there was no way he would have stayed in Calgary anyways. So, getting something for him was a good move.
But I can still be sad about it, even while I understand it. Joe, you'll be missed here in Calgary, and I know I'm not the only one to be wishing you all the success you can handle - just not against the Stamps, eh?
And there are other aspects to this deal that worry me. Scott Regimbald is an asset to the backfield, and I think he's going to be sorely missed. Yes, Joffrey Renoylds, or however you spell it, made quite an impression against BC, but as people in Calgary are so fond of saying when it comes to QB's, one game does not a great player make. So here's hoping Renoylds comes out swinging again against TO this week, and make us forget about Reggie (sorry Scott!)
And finally, there's Wes Lysack... and I think Winnipeg is licking their chops about getting their hands on this safety. I've heard knocks on him all season, but it seems that every time there's a big play, Lysack had his hands in there.
So, who wins at this trade? Only time will tell. Khari could do great things in Calgary - like be the final puzzle piece that convinces a local group to step up and make an offer for the team. And hey, he might be a good pivot, too! Fleming might re-retire at the end of this year, and head back to his other job in Boston, full-time. Reynolds might make Regimbald obsolete. Bowles might be great. Who knows?
But this means there's a glut at the QB position on the Stamps right now. You've got Crandall on the IR with his damaged tendons and wonky wrist, you've got newcomer K.Jones, you've got "the backups of the future" in T.Jones (imagine that: Jones is out at quarterback... now taking the snaps is Jones!) and Mike Souza, and the impressionable Canadian youth, Tommy Dennison. Obviously , the roster will have to be thinned out a little, but who will go? I would like to see Dennison stick around and learn more by osmosis, and hold the clipboard for another year or so, and I think Souza's got the mobility and arm strength to stick it out in this league. And obviously, Khari is the man we're pinning our hopes to. That leaves Marcus Crandall (who was being called Mucus Cantthrow at points during the BC game), and Tommy Jones. One has had years to convince us that 2001 wasn't a fluke, that he has awareness of what's going on on the field (or the timeclock), and failed over and over again. The other is a young kid with little CFL experience, but not many sustained chances to prove himself yet, either.
So obviously, it's Tommy Jones.
Sadly, since Marcus is injured, he can't be cut. So here's hoping that the Stamps do the smart thing and let things lie until Crandall is healthy again - and then cut him. It'll give him a chance to go to another team and get a fresh start (because he won't get that here), and it gives the fans the feeling that yes, this team is moving in the right direction.
At least, that's my take on it. But I can't dwell on it too much - I'm still a bit hyper from the BC game on Friday! Go Stamps Go! Whoo!

September 20, 2004:
Man, am I in pain!
What from, you ask? Is it another sad result coming from McMahon on Friday?
Nah, I'm used to that by now, sadly. No, my pain is physical. I ran the Terry Fox Run on Sunday at Eau Claire.
Big deal, you say? Well, for me, 10K is quite the big deal, considering my idea of a long distance run is from the fridge to the sofa during commercial breaks!
No, I didn't train for it, didn't really prepare for it, and to top it all off, I ran the 10K in the Silver Stampeder outfit - yep, giant shoes and all.
So why am I smiling today?
I raised $125 for the Terry Fox Foundation, I proved that Calgary has a running game (hah!), and I finished the 10K in just under one hour!
And what about that game on Friday? Bah!
How many times can you get inside the red zone and NOT punch it in? I guess you'd have to ask Marcus Crandall that question!
And equally sad, I didn't win the Fritos Fandemonium contest this year. You know, I almost didn't even try out. I figured that since I'd won for the first two years, there was no way that they would pick me again, so what's the point of trying, right? Well, I thought long and hard about that, and I decided that not entering just because I didn't think I could win would be pretty weak of a reason. I think I'm the ultimate Stamps fan, and whether they pick me or not, I have to go... "so that my place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory or defeat."
The thing that bummed me out more was that my fiancee gave it a really good shot to win the Fritos competition, and methinks, because we went up at the same time, I fouled her chances of winning. It's really too bad, because she was great! Folks, watch for Stampie Longstockings at the next game, because she's the superfan of tomorrow!
And in case anyone is wondering, the attendance was way less than announced... man, it looked positively empty in McMahon! Sure, the weather wasn't supposed to be very nice (it ended up being pretty decent weather), but I think a lot of people are starting to voice their discontent with this team by leaving their seats vacant. I really hope the Stamps can do something to turn things around in the very near future, or there's going to continue to be a lot of empty seats next year.

September 13, 2004:
What can I say?
Another brutal game for my boys in Red, but there was one shining moment. Yes, Mike Pringle got stuffed two yards short of his precious record. Hah!
I was getting mighty sick of hearing smug Esk fans gloat about how easy it was to beat us, and how Pringle was going to run through us like a stiff breeze through a chain-link fence. Well, think again! I've said it before and I'll say it again, there may be problems with the Stamps this year, but defence ain't one of 'em! Especially with the addition of Demetrious Maxie! I'd glad to see DM back in the fold after a cup of tea with the NFL 49ers, but I worry that his return might signal the end for fan favourite Joe Fleming. Word on the street is that Big Joe is trade bait, and might move in a deal with Lysack for oft-injured pivot Khari Jones.
I know, Jones is better than anything we have here behind the snap. But I'd hate to see Joe go, and I'd worry that a) Jones' best days may be behind him, or he may get bit by the injury bug again, and b) that this STILL won't spell the end of the Marcus Crandall Experiment... I hope they hang on to Tommy Dennison; I'd like to see what the kid could do... next year.
And finally, to all those whiny Esk fans who bitched about the Stamps piling up on Pringle at the end of the game to deny him his record at home, consider this: Would you have wanted YOUR team to lay down and let Doug Flutie, Dave Supungis, Allen Pitts or Pee Wee Smith set a record on you? Hell no! And would you like an asterik beside Pringle's record, saying "The Calgary Stampeders did not field a defence on the final play of the game to allow Pringle to break the record..." Uh uh, no way. Don't whine about Calgary's "lack of sportsmanship". This is a game, and records should be earned. Nobody should "give up" and LET someone have their way, ever! A good sport is a humble winner and a gracious loser, but he's never a quitter, and he never gives an inch while there is still time left on the clock. I know it's not all of Edmonton screaming on this particular occasion, but to you - the small contingent of Eskimo fans who are crying foul at Calgary's unwillingness to defile Pringle's true attempt at an impressive record - you make me sick.
Never give up. Never surrender. And Esk fans, you should be glad that our D respected Mike Pringle enough NOT to shame him by allowing him an easy run. He hasn't had yardage given to him any other time - he's earned it. My hat is off to Mike Pringle - he's a heckuva athlete, and Eskie or not, a great spokesman for this great league.
Good luck on those two yards in BC, Mike.

September 7, 2004:
I guess I would call Labour Day 2004 a great day, and a terrible day.
The weekend started off positively enough (Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Selinger, married 9/4/04), and things continued to swing well into Monday. The tailgate started off a little late (didn't arrive until eight or half past-ish), but soon enough, the Guiness pancakes were flipping, the chairs were filled, and the beer had been cracked. Root beer, for me.
As the day snuck past and our numbers grew, so did the fun. I gave away $117.25 in Canadian Tire money to two very nice ladies who came by on behalf of the Calgary Women's Emergency Shelter. Too bad I couldn't have afforded the team on that ammount, but I felt great knowing it was going to a truly worthy cause. Take that, everyone who thought I was using the money for tools!
And the media was there in full force, although I didn't actually see myself posted anywhere. But I did spots for A-Channel, Global, CFCN, Sportsnet, the Calgary Sun and CBC Radio. I think I did more interviews yesterday than Matt Dunnigan!
Also, the Stamps did a veyr nice thing for me, sending Ralph the Dog over to the tailgate to help celebrate a slightly belated birthday (September the Third)... and for that, I'd like to say a hearty "Thank you" to the Stampeder organization, who proved they truly care about their fans!
And then, there was the game.
Hoo boy.
I'll keep this brief, because everyone's already said it. It was not a good game, there needs to be changes on the field, and Matt Dunigan should NOT be fired over this - give him another year and a half to prove he can pull together a good bunch of guys and make a team out of 'em.
But my goodness, do we need a quarterback! With appologies to Tommy Jones and Marcus Crandall (sincere condolances, Marcus, on the passing of your father), neither of them showed that they deserved the starter's position next week. So, does Souza get a chance? How long before Dennison sees action? Stay tuned to find out!
It's a bloody shame to lose, and it's a horrible bloody shame to lose to Edmonton, but it's just sad to lose to Edmonton on Labour Day. I'm not saying that the game was ours for the taking, but I'm suggesting that the team left it for the Esks to take. And they did.
The next two games don't seem to offer us much in the way of opportunities for salvation. Edmonton again on Friday, and the slumping but still powerful Renegades the following week at home. I'll be there, but I fear - not only for the Stampeders as a team - but as an organization. Ticket sales are going to slump noticibly if this keeps up. Let's hope the boys in red can pull it together and make a run at this thing, because if they don't get going soon, some people are going to leave.
Not me, though. I still wore my Stamps jacket today.

August 30, 2004:
Well, it's getting down to the eleventh hour in my bid to buy the Calgary Stampeders. My merchandise isn't selling all that well... heck, I'm the only one to buy a single item! I've managed to get over a hundred bucks in Canadian Tire money, but I'm afraid that unless a mysterious philanthropist comes in at the last moment, the Stamps will stay in the hands of Mr. Feterik.
But there is good news in this: that hundred dollars is going to be going to a very worthy organization - the Calgary Women's Emergency Shelter. They'll be able to use the Canadian Tire money to buy supplies, and that makes me happy. I've never been so proud of "failing" in all my life. We'll be making the donation on Labour Day, and hopefully, the spirit of giving will penetrate the Eskie defense, and they'll give us a chance to win!

August 8, 2004:
Whoo!
The Stamps put in one heckuva effort last night, and really took it to the Bombers! There were times I thought the Stamps were going to fall into their old pattern of letting a lead slip away, but everybody stepped it up when the going got rough, and all I can say is, that was the game that every Stampeders fan was waiting for!
And there was a running game! Finally! What a difference an offensive coordinator, or lack thereof, makes! The run kept the Bomber dee honest, and at the same time, made some great plays! The Scotts and Ike were finally given a chance to prove themselves, and they did!
And let's not forget the Stampeder defense, who rattled both quarterbacks, ran the offense ragged, and picked off balls at will. If they can play like that every game, and the offense and special teams can keep up the good work, we're going to give BC a run for their money on the 21st!
Kudos to Ike, the Scotts, Tommy Jones, Nik Lewis, John Grace, and Matt Dunigan! Learn from what worked, and keep it up!

July 30, 2004:
The fan in me says that the Stamps put in a pretty good effort last night, and Tommy Jones looked pretty good for his first CFL start. But the critic in me worries that if we can't beat a team when they're self-destructing like Ottawa was last night, then we're not going to beat anybody.
I mean, Ottawa was ready and willing to hand that game over to the Stamps, and for a while there, it looked like they were going to take it. I mean, up by 15 points with five minutes remaining is hardly an insurmountable lead in the CFL, but it should be pretty damn difficult. Especially when the refs are as bad as they were last night. I swear, they found those guys on a street corner somewhere. For them to allow the Stamps to waffle on whether or not to accept a penalty call, and then deny the Rens the same right was positively moronic. Not to mention the fumble they failed to call correctly, and the facemask they missed early in the game. Brutal!
However, TSN's announce team was equal to the task of sucking. I don't know where they find these guys, but at one point, he was trying to convince us that a five yard pass, behind the line of scrimmage, to a wide-open receiver, was the hardest pass in football! What? And later in the game, he declared the on-side kick the most exciting play to watch. Has the man ever actually watched a game before?
But all of that was secondary to the fact that the Stamps should have won that game, but made sure that they blew it. Tommy Jones looked alright for his first start in the league, but he's got a ways to go yet. Sure, he's instantly better than deservingly-third-string Marcus Crandall,but he's got to learn that while he may be 6'3", most of his receivers are not. He was throwing bery high balls to his guys, and leaving them open for a helmet in the gut far too often. And of course, there was the INT that came from a pass too high, that tipped off into Renegade hands.
And Tommy, learn when to give up. Too many times, he flailed like a wounded duck as he was dragged to the turf, and too many times, it resulted in him being stripped of the ball. He's gotta learn that sometimes, the best thing a QB can do is tuck the ball and take the hit. It's better than a fumble with less than a minute left that gives the game away.
And did anyone else notice Tommy's, uhm, unusual throw? It's kind of sidearm most of the time, and it's rarely a tight spiral. His trademark seems to be the wobbly airball that's going to get him picked off by wide-eyed defences more than his fare share.
But there were three positive coming out of last night. One, Charlie Hebert is a kicking machine! He nailed every FG they set him up for (which was far too many, of course), and that single late in the game was a boomer of a kick! The kid is awesome!
Two, the D stepped up huge a couple of times last night, especially against the run! Wow, they shut down a powerful run game, well, for most of the game anyways. And three, Nik Lewis. Great hands, great head, great ability to get yards after the catch!
And the iffy spot was the run game. Sure, it WAS there, but it wasn't utilized enough. There were too many times where Calgary was in reach of the endzone, and they pulled up in the shotgun for first and goal. They need to show more confidence in the run game, and they need to use it to keep the other teams honest.
Sufficed to say, I was not happy after this game, but oh well, life goes on. Another struggling team comes into McMahon next week, and all I can hope for is that the Stamps put a lickin' on Khari and Co.

July 26, 2004:
I have a bad taste in my mouth after Saturday's loss to the Saskatchewan Roughriders, but not for the reason you would expect.
Yes, I'm disappointed that my Stamps weren't able to pull it out against the Roughies. The total team effort just didn't seem to be there. The offense sputtered, the defense stumbled, and the special teams weren't all that special.
But sadly, this isn't much of a surprise. Everyone knew the Stamps would be in tough against a Roughies team that had something to prove - after all, they've provided the Stamps with their only win of the season thus far.
And while I'm not happy to see my boys fall to 1-4, it's not what made me question my attendance for the next appearance of the Green.
Nope, it was the Rider fans that made it a thoroughly unpleasant experience.
Now, I can understand full well the rush of enthusiasm that comes when your team starts to win, after many seasons of sucking. After all, I live in Calgary, and we have the Flames. And I can see how easy it is to get caught up in that rush. But man, the majority of the Saskatchewan fans who made the trip to McMahon took things too far.
They blocked off parking spots so that no one else could use them. They swore, they yelled at small children, and most worrisome, they were creating trouble in the stands. Yep, that meant that the boys and girls in blue had to come in. And no, I'm not talking about Winnipeg fans.
In particular, in Section B, there was a group of very rowdy, very intoxicated Rider fans, who seemed to get more enjoyment from standing up, turning around towards the stands, and yelling and flipping the bird to any Stamps fans they could see.
And truly, I felt bad for the cop who had to come down into the stands and babysit these morons. They were rude to her, and frankly, if I were in her situation, I wouldn't have given them as much wiggle room as she did. They came awful close to giving her a shove a few times, and yet she would just tell them to sit down and shut up. Which of course, they didn't. Finally, the cop hauled the head troublemaker out, to chants of "Let him stay!" by the mass of green humanity. Right, great idea.
Now, lemme make this clear. I've met many a great Rider fan, especially in Regina for last year's Grey Cup. But a few bad apples ruin the cartload. If you are a Rider fan in Calgary, and you were on your best behaviour, or at least weren't running around like a jerk, I'm sorry to lump you in with these lunatics. But if you're a Greener, and you were one of the bad apples, please don't come back to McMahon. We don't want you here.
And for the lunkheads of Green who live in Calgary, but still feel the need to hooligan it up at Rider games, lemme ask you - why are you here in Calgary? Go back to Saskatchewan, if they'll take you.
As for the jerks who took up three spots for their single-vehicle, three-person tailgate party... if you guys didn't outweigh me by a good fifty pounds of muscle each, well, you might have gotten an earful.
Ah, who am I kidding?
Well, here's to today, to forget about yesterday. Next up is the Ottawa Roughri- err, Renegades, a team I don't think is getting the respect it deserves. I don't care that their #1 QB is out, I think the Stamps are going to have to work hard to win this one!

July 21, 2004:
I have a bad feeling about this weekend's game.
No, it's not about Crandall, or the O-line, or special teams. It's about the Rider fans.
They scare me a bit.
To clarify, I've met more than my fair share of Rider fans, and there are a ton of great people in that group.
But there are also a few wingnuts who worry me. They kind of people who drink too much, talk too much, and try to pick fights. The guys who dress in green and throw things at red-attired fans. The jerks.
And I have a feeling, deep in my gut, that I'm going to have the misfortune of running into a few of these bad apples on Saturday. I hope my intuition is wrong, because it feels like Saturday could be a bad day.

July 19, 2004:
And down we go.
But I'm not going to sit here and knock on the team. Heaven knows that the good ones on the Stamps are already giving themselves hell, and the weak players, well, they don't care enough about their play to give a damn if someone criticizes their play.
No, I'm upset with the appologists in the stands of McMahon Stadium.
Oh sure, it was Montreal. They're the powerhouse of the league. It's okay to lose to them, everyone does.
Uh-uh, no way.
I don't care if we're playing the reincarnation of the '72 Dolphins and all of our starters are down with injuries, I don't want to hear about how it's okay to lose.
I'm not saying that losing is the end of the world for me. I discovered, not so long ago, that I could be a fan and not have my world crash down around me every time the team gave up points in the standings. But I hate to see them lose, and I hate to see people accept it.
Montreal is a team just like any other. On any given day, they can be beaten by any other team in this league. The Stamps included.
So this Saturday, when the Red & White entertain the Green, I don't want to hear any talk about how we're rebuilding, how we're still a young team, and you have to accept a few losses as you learn.
All I wanna hear is "Go Stamps Go!"

July 5, 2004:
Three great quarters weren't enough to make up for one lousy one. That's the story of the game on Sunday, where the Hamilton Ti-Cats took a commanding 25-0 lead in the *first* quarter, and held Calgary's attack to under 20 yards of total offence.
Now, that's offensive.
But I have to give credit to Crandall, who was able to shake off his early-game gitters, hunker down, and ignore all us boo-birds. Now, if we can have a whole game just like the last three quarters from Marcus, we'll be rolling!
But our next game is Montreal, and I worry about Marcus starting hot, and going down injured!
The D-line also looked pretty weak in the first, and so did the special teams. All in all, the Stamps looked like ducks out of water in the first, which is almost comical considering the wet conditions!
But the whole team really seemed to pick it up in the second, and prove that they wouldn't give up, etc etc etc. This bodes well for the rest of the season. Here's hoping we have more second-quarter games than first-quarter ones!

June 21, 2004:
To take a page from the Euro 2004 Tournament, GOOOOOOOOOOAL!
Sure, the Riders looked terrible yesterday (is anyone still talking about how happy they are that Nealon is injured?), but you can't ignore the fact that the Stamps took advantage of the Rider mistakes, and made 'em pay! Good showing, and a great way to start the season! We're number one in the West, baby!
Kudos to all the recievers - Connell, Juhasz, Montana, McGarity... but the one that really caught my eye was Nik Lewis! His first catch of the game was a doozy! He makes the grab, turns, and immediately is met with a stiff lick from a green defender. Does he go down? No! Does he move? No! He powers through the defence, and picks up another five or so yards before a team effort finally brings him down! Whoo! Nik, you just made my good books! Keep it up!
Now, I'm man enough to admit that Crandall played a good game yesterday. Not stellar by any means, but good. Sure, there were those delay of game calls, and something needs to be fixed so that we don't get dinged like that again. But Marcus looked like he should have been starting, and it's been a long time since he's shown a reason why he should be here.
On the defensive side of the ball, DB Nate Terry should change his name to Nate Terror. Two picks. You know Butler will be on the lookout for Nate the next time the Stamps play the Riders!
And of course, there's Hebert, the newbie kicker! Wow! Sure it was wind-assisted, but that 89 yard single was amazing! This guy's still improving, and he already looks great! Sorry Turduncan, but I think 'Eebehr' is going to make people forget about you!
Now, it's only one game, and we have the powerhouse Als coming into town next, so we can't get too cocky. But it was a great way to start the season. Matt, congrats. Guess you had us worried over nothing - so far.

June 15, 2004:
Big changes, and a few surprises coming out of McMahon these days. The big change? The removal of highly-touted acquisition Romaro Miller. Yes, they cut a quarterback.
Was he the right guy to cut? Yes, but not the perfect guy. From what I heard, Ro came into camp and fell flat on his face. He showed nothing, and rather than keeping him around just to save face, Dunnigan did a very good thing. He sucked it up, admitted he was wrong, and kept the two kids we've got who are showing not only potential, but immediately usable talent.
Now, if only he'd open his eyes to the disaster that is Marcus Crandall.
Now, I missed the pre-season game here in Calgary, thanks to a combination of a wedding prep course, booked months ago, and the fluke of the original start time falling on the same night as the Flames playoff game. Hence, I missed the game against Winnipeg, and by all accounts, I didn't miss much. But by the same accounts, the last pre-season tilt in Edmonchuck was something to behold.
Sure, Edmonton wasn't playing their A game, but you can't tell me that the Esks went into this one without a care in the world. It's Calgary-Edmonton. It's always a slobberknocker. And this one was no exception.
The only shocker was how well Calgary did. Throughout the off-season, all I've heard (and seen) was the harsh defoliation of this team. Veterans gone to retirement or cuts, bad trades, etc. But this rag-tag Calgary team held their own against, on paper, what is a dramatically stronger Eskimo squad.
So good on you, boys. You may give us hope yet that this season can be saved!

May 27, 2004:
AJ's gone.
I don't know how to feel about this one. I mean, I understand that this is a business, and while sentimentality may tug at you to keep a guy who's gone past his prime, you can't, especially if he's expensive, and you're trying to build a younger team. I understand that if you don't have a place for the guy, it's tough, especially when he isn't ready to leave.
What I don't understand is why the Stampeders continue to do things the way they do, when it comes to players like Pitts, Kelvin Anderson, and now Alondra Johnson.
The Stampeder MO seems to be to drop-kick 'em to the sidelines, make a sudden announcement that they're outta here, and act like it's not a big deal.
Betcha Allen, Kelvin and Alondra thought it was a big deal. And they're not the only ones.
You still see a ton of #32's and #18's in the stands of McMahon, and something tells me that the fans won't be too quick to discard their AJ jerseys.
The fans get a tersely worded paragraph, and an insincere "thanks" from the organization to a player who's worked his fingers to the bone.
Hey, maybe I don't have a right to be upset. It's a business, after all. Right?
Right?
Sorry, not to me it ain't. To me, it's more, and in that, there's something that says you don't treat a man like yesterday's garbage when he gets old. You treat him with respect, and if you don't have room for him, you give him his options, and do whatever it takes to repay a small amount of the respect he showed you as a member of your organization for all of these years.
On a related topic, there seems to be a lot of people who aren't coming back next year.
AJ I understand, even if I don't like it. Aldi Henry I understand. But Don Blair? Where the heck did that come from? Unless he's harbouring a hidden injury, or a lucrative job offer, I don't understand what could make a man retire at his age... unless things are that bad in McMahon.
I really hope you've got a new job, Donnie.

May 20, 2004:
You know, the first pre-season game for the Calgary Stampeders is fast approaching, and I have something shocking to admit. I haven't had one thought about it yet.
Yes, like many, err, all Calgarians, there's only one thing on my mind these days, and it's the Calgary Flames improbable playoff run. But it wasn't always this way.
I will admit to being a bandwagon jumper.
Growing up, I was a huge Flames fan, but it was easy to be a Flames fan in those days. The team was stacked with talent, they were always in the hunt, and big things were expected of them. They delivered in 1989, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. My team was better than your team, nyah nyah!
But the older I got, the harder it became to cheer for the Flames. They started losing in the first round of the playoffs, then stopped making the second season altogether. They traded Doug Gilmour, and a bunch of talent, for Gary Leeman and a pile of crap. I mean, Alexandyr Godynyuk, The Human Pylon?
It was about that time that I lost interest. Salaries were skyrocketing, collecting hockey cards lost it's thrill, tickets to games were out of my price range, and the team was sucking eggs. Not to mention the addition of the President's Club section in the Saddledome, where rich people could sip martinis in their suits and ignore what was going on in front of them.
It's not all bad. I found that CFL football filled the void quite nicely, with it's cheap tickets, low-paid players who loved the game and the city, and true fans who didn't sit on their hands.
But now, the underdog Flames have struggled, fought and clawed their way into the Stanley Cup finals, and it's reminded me of when I was young, and the Flames were the greatest team in the universe. It's a good feeling.
But make no mistake about it. If Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals falls on the same day, at the same time as a Stamps game, I'm gonna be torn, but I'll probably go watch the Flames. Shocking, eh? But to put it in perspective, if there's a Flames pre-season game, or even regular season game next November, during Grey Cup... well, you know where I'll be.
Until that time, Go Flames Go! And here's hoping for two underdog championship runs this season!

April 25, 2004:
OttawaFootball.com has posted a very nice article about yours truly!
"We all know that CFL football is great, and that the players are great. Sometimes, however, we overlook the fact that the fans are also great! Some fans are indeed so dedicated that they carve out a special identity, just to help cheer on their team. One of those super fans is Trevor, also known as The Silver Stampeder!
Trevor was a die hard sports fan from a very early age. He cheered the Montréal Canadians and Expos, as well as his home town Calgary Flames. When his father took him to some Stampeder games, he became hooked on CFL football. The football fans there painted their faces, dressed up in team colours and cheered themselves hoarse. As well, the famous Bleacher Creature was in the stands, going nuts and raising the excitement level. Rumour has it that Calgary players named him, seeing his wacky behavior up in the stands, and wondering if he was 'the Bleacher Creature from Planet Javex'! Both The Silver Stampeder and The Bleacher Creature are occasionally shown in TV football advertisements. The Creature has a mohawk and crazy shades, while The Silver Stampeder boasts a long blonde wig, an old Flutie jersey, size 50EEE gorilla shoes, a flag and a bugle. Both, of course, sport Calgary colours! For the past two years The Silver Stampeder has been the winner of the Fritos Fandemonium contest, as the boldest and best fan in the stadium. Winning once is an honour! Winning twice shows the unbelievable spirit that motivates Trevor!
The Silver Stampeder, like all CFL fans, delights in the Grey Cup game. He attended his first Grey Cup game in 1998 in a wild road trip with two friends. Before the game he got himself painted up, and had a picture with Santa taken at a local Winnipeg shopping mall. Santa promised them a win, which should give all of us an idea for what to put on our lists! The Silver Stampeder attended the 1999 Cup in Vancouver, and was at the past two, Edmonton and Regina. He plans to attend this year's game, right here in Ottawa. And keep reading, as he has a special treat planned for local fans here in Ottawa!
With all of his travels Trevor has discovered that each team has great fans! Although we may jeer at other teams, there is a shared enjoyment of our brand of football. Even, he says with a gulp, fans in Edmonton can be nice people. To anyone who knows of the huge rivalry between those two cities, that has to be considered an amazing statement! He still appreciates Calgary fans, but has also been very impressed the the loyalty that other fans have to their teams. Including fans right here in Ottawa!
Trevor has a delightful Web Site at www.SilverStampeder.com That Site opens with a special appeal to help do what every fan secretly desires: to buy the team! Everyone knows the 'unusual' situation the Calgary Stampeders have been in the past few years. An American owner, who just happened to have a son on the team who wanted to play quarterback. The loss of long term great coach Wally Buono still stings, as does the lack of leadership and commitment to winning. However some changes have been made, and the situation in Calgary will hopefully improve. As a huge fan, one cannot just sit and wait. One has to do something! The Silver Stampeder cooked up a plan to buy the team. In conjunction with a great Calgary bar a mailing address was set up so that all those interested could donate their spare Canadian Tire money, to help the cause! Big fans set big goals! It would take round about eight million dollars to buy the team. But would not that be an excellent investment, giving a super fan control of a super team?
Here is where Ottawa fans get their chance to help out, and their chance at a great prize! Gather up some of that loose Canadian Tire money on your self, or in your car. Don't be cheap! Mail over one dollar of it to :
The Silver Stampeder's 'Buy The Stamps Fund'
c/o Bottlescrew Bills
140-10Ave. S.W.
Calgary, Alberta
T2R 0A3

And mention Ottawafootball.com! You will then be entered in a draw to win a Silver Stampeder T-shirt! You can check those out, along with other great items, at www.silverstampeder.com at the on-line store. The prize will be personally delivered by Trevor when he attends this year's Grey Cup. [ Some fine print here! Obviously the winner has to be in the Ottawa area, and as the Grey Cup is a very busy time for super fans, a mutually agreeable time and place for the transfer will be needed!] As The Silver Stampeder hopes to hold his usual pre-game tailgate party, and is a one of a kind type of guy, the winner can easily find him!
There are those who may just doubt that The Silver Stampeder can actually buy the team. For those of little faith, rest assured the collected money will not be wasted. Should the effort to buy the team fail, the collected money will be donated to charity. A poll will be conducted on that Web Site to see who gets the total collection. The Kids Cancer Care Foundation and The Children's Wish Foundation are both supported by Trevor.
A super fan needs a super car. The Silver Stampeder hopes to bring the Silver Stampedermobile to this year's Cup. A customized car with a killer sound system, a built-in barbecue and a special paint job. Can you imagine the looks from other drivers as that car, and that character make that long drive!
Is there anything The Silver Stampeder won't do? Well, engaged to lovely Jen, he suggested getting married at half time during a Grey Cup game. She does not at all mind sitting next to The Silver Stampeder at games, but seemed to want a more quieter, personal wedding! After some thought, The Silver Stampeder agreed. Imagine the tab for the open bar if indeed the wedding was held at a game!"

March 11, 2004:
TSSNN BREAKING NEWS: Negotiations have begun to aqquire a vehicle that could be transformed into The Silver Stampedermobile. Details to follow, stay tuned. In other news, you may notice some additions to the ‘site. For instance, in the bottom right-hand corner, you’ll notice a link to my Hot or Not profile. Just for fun.
Also, you’ll notice new links to the Church Sign Generator site, which will put any text on a church billboard. But the link I’m most excited about is the link to my new comic series, Life in the CFL. I may be the only one who finds it funny, but then again, it’s my site, so why shouldn’t I cater to my own sick and twisted sense of humour?
To recap, keep your eyes on this site for late-breaking developments. Who will provide the vehicle? What will it be? Will it really have a barbecue built into the truck, right over the gas tank? Well, no to that last one, but watch the HorsePower page for details!.

March 5, 2004:
There were reports in today's paper that an unnamed person or party is in negotiations with Michael Feterik to buy the Stampeders for $6.5 million. Rest assured, it's not me.
But the reports do say that the new bidder is local, which thrills me to no end! I mean, sure, it'll mean the end of my campaign, but at least we'll have a bit of money to donate to charity! So check back soon, as there may be a poll opening up in the near future to see where the collected Canadian Tire money will be going!
If a new owner is announced, that'll mean that the donation can will come down at Bottlescrew Bill's, but you don't have to stop being charitable with your Canadian Tire money, or any other currency. Donations, hopefully, will continue to be taken for our chosen charity. We'll have to wait and see.

February 27, 2004:
It's not even the pre-season, and I'm already starting to worry about the direction of the Stamps.
We've lost Maxie, O'Mahoney, Floyd, Sanchez and possibly Fleming and Singh in the last few weeks. That's a lot of talent going out the door, and we've picked up little to nothing in return or as replacements.
Let's go through the list, shall we? Maxie, well, there's not much we could have done there. Due to the CFL-NFL agreement concerning option-year players, I'm not surprised that Maxie took the offer from San Fran. I am surprised that he hesitated about it! Regardless, he'll either make it or he won't, and if he doesn't, we'll get him back - just after we officially get eliminated from the playoffs!
Duncan O'Mahoney is a kid. Sometimes, when kids grow up, they leave home. This kid shoulda been kept. Kickers, it seems, are like fine wine and bad cheese. They get better as they age. Sure, Turduncan looked shaky, even downright bad at times this year, but that's no reason to let him walk over to BC. We shoulda kept him, let him mature, and watched him develop. But now, Wally'll do that for us. And with word being that the club is not too keen on signing McLoughlan (and vice versa), who exactly is gonna do the kicking for the team? My vote is for Ticat-kicker cum Sun writer Eric Francis, I guess. Again, word is that instead, we'll get Noel Prefontaine from the Argos in a deal I'll get to in a minute.
Otis Floyd? Again, walks over to BC because Matt can't seem to remember phone messages. Not good. Not good at all.
David Sanchez is the one loss that doesn't bother me. While the names we acquired from the Als are new to me, getting rid of that 200K salary is a good move. Sanchez may have been an All-Star two years ago, but at times last season, he was so far out of the play that he looked like he was still playing a game from two years ago! The guy was leaving his jock on the field more often than a streaker, so good riddance. Not to mention his "game-related" injury, which he strangely didn't find out about until recently. Sounds like he was just trying to keep the team on the hook for his rehab, which is another strike against him.
Bobby Singh's been treated pretty badly, too. From the unreturned calls that have been the hallmark of this franchise in the off-season, to Matt's public comments about Singh's wonky knees, I won't blame him for jumping ship to, that's right, BC. Personally, it's starting to sound like a conspiracy to me. Too much is going over the mountains for free.
And finally, there's big Joe Fleming, currently my favourite Stampeder. Even on the all-time list, Fleming ranks JUST below Doug Flutie and Kent "The Warrior" Warnock as the players I marked for. And now, there's trade talks. Man, I gotta tell you, I'm choked.
Being a Stamps fan lately has meant putting up with a lot. Feterik. Fateri. Feterik Jr. Wally leaving. McLoughlan in the front office. Losing seasons. Schwartz leaving. Not signing Dickensen. Choosing Phillps over Anderson. The Chirstmas firing of XXXL coach Barker. Milanovich. Crandall. I could go on, but I'm just making myself depressed.
But losing Joe Fleming is a mistake of a magnitude unheard of. The rumour mill says straight up, Fleming for Prefontaine. Are you kidding? We let our kicker walk, we deal a kicking prospect in the Ottawa deal for Romaro Miller, and then we go get TO's kicker for our BEST PLAYER and overwhelming fan favourite? Throw in a QB or two, and this deal still stinks.
What would placate me, as a season ticket holder, as compensation for losing Fleming? I'd want the Stamps to pick up a young, talented, mobile QB with little to no history of injury, a kicker with a decent percentage, AND a few Canadians for the D. Maybe more.
But, more likely, Matt'll take a bad deal for Mr. Popularity, getting us a kicker, or a QB. Or a magic bean that will grow into a beanstalk, that we can climb in the standings on. Or the Brooklyn Bridge. Or some nice shorefront property in Saskatchewan. Or Gary Leeman.
I think you get the point.
At the end of the day, no matter what, I'm still a Stamps fan. But the red on my jersey is looking more and more like the colour of a team bleeding to death.

January 15, 2004:
Well, the media has fianlly begun to take notice of the little guy with the big dreams!
My interview with Rob Gibson aired last night on A-Channel on both the 6:00pm and 11:00pm news broadcasts, and both times, I got a kick out of the reactions of the newscasters. Glen Carter and Kate Mistol seemed to just laugh it off as the strange workings of one crazy person, while the 11:00 anchor, who's name escapes me right now, seemed a touch more hostile, probably thinking that I was doing this for personal gain. I'm not, by the way, but I guess that part didn't make it into the story. But I'm happy to have received the airtime that I got, so a big thanks to Rob Gibson of A-Channel for giving me the opportunity to share my story. Here's hoping it helps get Calgary on my side, and kicks up the donations!
Also, I want to thank Stuart and Bottlescrew Bill's. They let us film the interview there, and they're currently the only place in town that you can make a donation of Canadian Tire money to the "Regime Change in Calgary" campaign. Cheers!
And a bit of trivia that even I, the loyal patron, didn't know. There's a Bleacher Creature jersey hanging in the back of the pub... turns out that Phil, the Bleacher Creature, used to live just upstairs from the pub, and was a regular patron. Guess the place has some sort of mystical power to draw in the crazies!

January 13, 2004:
The campaign rolls on.
Bottlescrew Bill's, home of the Around the World in 80 Beers club, has agreed to help out The Silver Stampeder with his campaign to buy the Stamps!
If you want to donate your Canadian Tire money to the cause, you can drop it off at Bottlescrew Bill's, or you can send it via mail to:

The Silver Stampeder's "Buy The Stamps" Fund
c/o Bottlescrew Bill's
140 - 10 Avenue S.W.
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
T2R 0A3

Thanks to everyone who has expressed an interest in helping out. Let's get localized!

December 31, 2003:
Happy New Year! May 2004 bring peace, prosperity, and a winning season in Calgary!
Hey, check out my new on-line store, which is chock-full of great post-holiday gift ideas for yourself, or any Stamps fan on your list! All proceeds will go towards the Buy The Stamps campaign, aka SRCIC - Support Regime Change in Calgary! And of course, if that plan falls through, all proceeds will go to a charity or other good cause in Calgary, as chosen by a poll here on SilverStampeder.com.
Ahh, January. The beginning of tax season and the month of the horrendous credit card bills... kinda makes you nostalgic for the hustle and bustle of Christmas, eh?
No?
Well, almost.

December 23, 2003:
Well, it's official. Matt Dunnigan. With the way the Stamps were running last year, is it possible that he was brought in to pull a McLoughlan and return to the field once in a while?
Just kidding.
I hope.
To me, Dunnigan is an unknown, and a big gamble. He has no CFL coaching experience, and has never been a general manager in Canada. He was, and it pains me to compliment an old Esk/Bomber/TiCat/Argo/Cuda, a great quarterback. But, as the old saying goes, those who can, do - those who can't, coach. Is Dunnigan far enough removed from being a player to be the big cheese? Will the players respect the opinion of a man with no credentials?
He has been, I must say, a very good addition to the TSN broadcast roster, and he's proven that he knows the Canadian game. And TSN alum seem to do well in the head offices (nod to Tillman in Ottawa). He is a big star, inasmuch as a CFL QB can be, and at least they didn't hire some yahoo out of the American college system.
But other questions have less to do with Dunnigan's abilities, and more to do with "The Puppetmaster Effect" eminating out of California. Will Dunnigan be given carte blanche to run the team, or does owner Feterik have another kid who "can't miss"? Will that American coin be available for player signings, or does Kevin's departure mean a lack of interest, and thusly, a tight pocketbook for player salaries?
In the end, this announcement raises more questions than it answers. To me, the biggest question, right now, is why this announcement couldn't have waited until after Christmas. Was Dunnigan so gung-ho to get going that he's actually going to be working between now and the 25th? Or was this Rooke's play to up season ticket sales before the stockings are stuffed? Either way, the callous treatment of Barker means the Stamps' stockings will be stocked with coal this season, even if Santa wears red and white!
But far be it for Calgary fans to be too quick to judge. I mean, when Fred Fateri came in, he.... uhh, well, that is... and when the team chose Lawrence Phillips over Kelvin Anderson, we... well, uhm... and when they said Kevin Feterik was going to start at quarterback, and they... oh, yeah. Right.
All I can say, is good luck to Matt Dunnigan. No one wants to see you succeed more than Calgary Stampeder fans do. But we'll be watching that first game, and if you're in overtime, and you're on the goal line, third down, and a field goal will tie the game, but a touchdown will win it... We'll be watching. Good luck, Mr. General Manager. Best wishes, Coach. Go get 'em, Matt.

December 23, 2003:
What a shocker! The Stamps have fired embattled head coach Jim "Belly Like A Bowl Full of Jelly" Barker after only one sad season.
Hey, I was never Barker's biggest fan. His XFLers and bad-attitude running back really bugged me, and the fact that he wouldn't, or maybe couldn't, stand up to the F-Troop about starting Kevin Feterik made me think he wasn't so much in charge as in trouble. There were times during the season where it was pretty obvious that the players didn't respect and fear him, and I agree that Barker probably wasn't the coach for us. That being said, I would have given him one more year. The guy was brought in during what may go down in history as the worst time in the Stamps organization, and he was told to do more with less. So, of course, he struggled. I thought they would give him one more year. Let him prove that the first year was just a fluke, that it was more a product of the condition of the team than the ability of the coach. And, if at the end of that year, he couldn't pull together a winning team, send him to the curb.
Now, to me, this firing signals one of three things. One, a new GM has been inked, and wanted Barker swept out like a Christmas tree on Boxing Day, to make room for his own coach. Two, it's a new owner who wants to start with a clean, blank slate. Or three, they're just jerks.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a big Ron Rooke fan. I think he's a great guy, and one smart cookie. But for the life of me, I can't see why they would fire a guy with mere hours to go until Christmas. Even Fred Fateri knows this is in bad taste!
So I'm very hopeful that the Stamps organization is quick with the explanation of this Scrooge-like move, because the fans of this team have put up with a lot this year, and all we really wanted for Christmas was a stable Stampeder organization! Well, maybe next year...

December 15, 2003:
Happy Holidays!
A quick note to the Stampeders organization: The fans from Section B were thrilled to find ourselves in your holiday advertisement for season tickets, confirming what we've always known - we're the greatest fans you have! All we ask for is one small favour in return.
We need another parking pass! Our tailgate party will swell to nearly twenty people this year, and the extra space would be a godsend! We're already on the waitlist for one - all we ask for is a little preferential treatment, and to be bumped up the list. We'll pay for the pass!

December 5, 2003:
This is from the TSN.ca website:
"Lawrence Phillips appeared in Quebec Court on Thursday after being charged with sexual assault as well as assault and uttering threats.
Phillips becomes the second former CFL player to face criminal charges in a week. Former Toronto Argonaut Tommy Kane pleaded not guilty Monday to second-degree murder in the death of his estranged wife, also in Montreal.
Phillips remanded into custody until Friday after he failed to make the $1,000 bail agreed to by the Crown.
Police say the incident involving a woman took place on Nov. 27 in Montreal.
Phillips was released by the Calgary Stampeders on Oct. 10 for disrupting practice by arguing with coach Jim Barker over the team's offensive strategy.
The explosive running back gained 486 yards on 107 carries, with one touchdown, before his release.
He was drafted sixth overall by the St. Louis Rams of the NFL in 1996. A year later he was released by the Miami Dolphins. In 1999, he was released by the San Francisco 49ers for insubordination."
...remind me, we kept this guy and discarded Kelvin Anderson... why? Another example of Big Jim's faulty vision, some would say. But not me. I'm afraid they'll fire him and bring in Lancaster! (shudder)

November 19, 2003:
Well, I've had time to recouperate from the trip, and reflect on all that happened in Regina. So here's the lowdown.
Friday, November 14th: It begins. We finally get to the airport, and I commence drinking. There's a ton of Eskimo fans on our flight, but thankfully, I don't drink enough to say anything to them. Might have been a short vacation, followed by a long hospital stay! These guys were big fans, emphasis on the word "BIG". Anyways, the flight itself was uneventful. It's a short hop from Calgary to Regina, and I barely had time to finish my overpriced airline beer.
Regina! We hit the ground running, and grab a cab to the hotel. Now, we find out that our hotel is on the other side of the city, very far away from all the fun. Bummer. But our cabbie - who wasn't actually a cabbie, just some lady in a minivan! - was nice, showing us the sights as she drove through town. Finally, we arrive, and fork over 15 bucks for the ride. Uh oh, this is gonna cost us. Turns out that every time we wanted to go somewhere, it was gonna cost us 15 bucks. Now, the CFL had provided us with a few taxi chits, but they were only good on COOP taxis - and you had a better chance of finding a TiCat fan than one of these taxis in Regina - and they were only good for five bucks each! So, one cab ride meant good-bye chits! Oh well.
We checked into the hotel at around 9:30pm (nice place, I guess), and after going through our freebie pack of t-shirts and chips, we bundled up to find a party.
Now, the place to be appeared to be the big outdoor (but heated!) party tent, so we headed that way in another $15 taxi. But when we got there, we found a line, nearly 100 people deep, and not moving very quickly! But, not knowing where else we could go that would guarantee no lineup, we queued up in the cold. Little did we know, if I had just worn the Silver Stampeder outfit, we could have snuck in through the back as VIPs! Oh well! We were in line for about an hour, just enough time to smoke a cigar, and then we were in to the blessed heat of the Scarth Street tent. The first thing I noticed, upon entering, was giant banners on the ceiling, with my face on one of them! What the.. ? Turns out Fritos had made giant banners to hang in the tent, with all of the winners on them! It was certainly something to behold! (I asked later if we could keep these banners, and was told maybe... hope this is a better maybe than the videos they promised us last year!)
So, the night went by uneventfully. We had a few beers, and searched in vain for other Stampeder fans. Seems not many people wanted to display their allegiance to this year's edition of the Stamps. So, around 1 am, we headed back to the hotel, to get a little sleep (and pizza) before the parade.
Saturday, November 15 - Well, I felt a little worse for wear, but not as bad as it could have been. I costumed up, and made my way downstairs for 9 am. True to form, there were a few people there, but not everyone, and the organizers were nowhere to be found. So, I met the fans from Edmonton (loud, but genial), BC (loud and friendly), Winnipeg (I'll get to him in a minute), Saskatchewan (...with a banjo on her knee!), Hamilton (she gave us all pins), Toronto (loud in character, quiet otherwise), and Ottawa (friend of last year's winner, we hung out for a while - good guy!) But it was the Winnipeg winner that brought the biggest smile to my face - the legendary Plungerhead! And on top of being a crazy bugger, he's a great guy.
So, we all hung out outside, because we were too bundled up to wait indoors, throwing the ball around and posing for pictures. Eventually, the Frito'ers showed up, and after a quick update on the schedule for the day, we loaded up into the vans and headed for the parade route.
Now, the only problem with this situation was that there was only enough room for the winners in these vans. The friends and family had to arrange their own transportation to the parade, and basically had to amuse themselves all of Saturday. And while I realize that this was a celebration of the crazy fans, I felt bad for Jen. Hell, if she wanted to sit around and watch TV all day, she coulda done that at home! By my way of thinking, the friends and family are instumental in the creation of a true Fandemonium fan. They're the ones who help us sew our costumes, endure the wrath of opposition fans when they're with us, and the ones who actually stand beside us when we act the fool, and still admit that they know us. So, my hope is, for next year, that the guests aren't forgotten.
Anyways, back to Regina.
We pulled up to our spot in the parade, and found ourselves under immediate attack from CBC cameras. Sure, we hammed it up, but it was when they asked for us to sign consent forms, joking that we would be CBC property that the fun ended. "But we're TSN property," we hollered, and I think I actually saw one of the cameramen yank the tape right out of his camera and stomp on it. Okay, not really, but he might as well have, because there was no way CBC was going to do an ad for TSN. So, we stood and we stood and we stood some more, when lo and behold, the float in front of us received it's main decoration. Yes, the holy grail of Canadian football, the Grey Cup. It was rather exciting, and of course, we all got our pictures with it. And yet, no one from out groud tried to steal it. I'm kind of shocked by that, and a little saddened. Oh well.
Just before the parade started, last year's Winnipeg winner came up to say hello. Yes, my old buddy Angus was there, but he didn't march with us. Seems he had been offered a spot with the Winnipeg cheerleaders, and he wasn't about to miss out on that.
The parade itself was fun (a little too warm for the layers we were wearing), but pretty uneventful. I did a little polling of the crowd, via the gigaphone, and found that no one was cheering for the Alouettes, a few people were cheering for the Esks, and everyone else was still going to cheer for the Roughriders. Crazy Saskatchewan fans... But a high point for me was the official unveiling of the 3m long Canadian Football flag, which held together, despite getting incredibly muddy at the back.
Now, our schedule for the day called for a little free time, which quickly became some drinking time in the Scarth Street tent. We went around to the back of the tent as we were told, only to be met by the only jerk in all of Regina, who was working the VIP door. Seems we didn't have some special passes, so unless we wanted to slip him a hundred bucks... moron. Finally, his supervisor came over and let us in. Ottawa and I had a few drinks and looked at the Frito banners, before re-joining the group at stageside. It was just about time to go, and everyone was starting to look a little worn out. So, I did what any good Frito's Fanatic would do when the crowd gets a little quiet - I took to the dance floor and got my freak on to some decent ska music. Sure enough, what was an empty dance floor quickly filled with those willing to follow my example, and we all boogied for a song or two before filing out to the vans. After a quick stop to check on our bored guests and a change of undershirt, we were off again. Destination: Taylor Field.
On the way to the stadium, I found a perfect example of what kind of people live in Regina. I was sitting up front in the van, chatting with our CIM driver, when we pulled up beside a pickup truck at a red light. The driver seemed to be munching on a piece of sausage, which was funny because someone in the van had made a joke about the Ottawa "Beaver Bash" party, and how Calgary should have a "Sausage Party"... you know, dick jokes. Anyhow, we're all staring at this guy eating his sausage, and he must have felt our eyes on him, because he turned, to see a van full of brightly-coloured freaks! So what does he do? He rolls down his window. I roll down mine. "Hey," he says. "Want some sausage?"
"Sure," I say. And sure enough, out comes this tinfoil plate, with a few chunks of meat on it, and I grab myself a piece and take a bite.
Everyone else in the van is showing a combination of amusement and horror.
"Hey," I yell to the driver as we pull away, "Thanks! It's good!"
I still don't see anything wrong with this.
So, we pull up to the field. I've never been to Taylor before, and it's a rather impressive stadium. Hey, it's no Commonwealth Place, or even McMahon, but it's nice. They've set up the temporary bleachers by this time, and I thank the gods that I'm not sitting there. The temp seats are nothing but bare metal tubing, and the wind rips right through them. I'm sure the poor b@stards that had to sit there froze their cohones off. So, after a few minutes of waiting (time well spent tossing the football around with the BC guys), we are shown through the gates, and out onto Taylor Field.
Of course, I do everything I've always wanted to do on a football field. I run through the inflatable entrance tunnel, do a few sprints, and even execute a perfect diving touchdown! But man, the players aren't kidding when they say that Taylor is like playing on concrete! I landed hard on that catch, and damn near didn't get up again!
Now, the reason that we were brought to the field was for a photo shoot, but I was really hoping to get in a quick game of East vs. West touch football with the rest of the Fritos Freaks. But it was not to be. The logos were still wet on the field, and our schedule was too tight to allow it. I was seriously bummed by that. A note to anyone from CIM, the CFL, TSN or Fritos: next year, arrange time for a game of touch football at the stadium!
The photo shoot was fun, though. We got to act like idiots, cheer really loud, and pose like wrestlers or something. We did single shots, group shots, and my favourite, the foes shots. Everyone teamed up with their favourite opposing city for a few pics, so of course, I got Edmonton. Now, as I've said, the Edmonton guy was a decent fella, despite being horribly misled, so we had a good time posing for the camera, pretending to beat the ever-lovin' crap outta each other. The only problem arose at the end of the shoot, when BC was left out in the cold, with no divisional foe to pose with. So, the rest of us all piled on, so that those Leos wouldn't feel left out. Note to Tom Wright: Get that team going in the Maritimes, so that they can feud with BC. Or a team in Quebec City, freeing up Ottawa to develop a classic east/west feud.
Once all of that was said and done, we headed back to the vans. But first, we were told that we would have to come up with a little song for that evening's festivities. Oh. You see, last year, Toronto came up with a catchy little ditty that the suits went wild for, and well, I guess they were expecting an encore performance! Only trouble is, we had nothing. But we were "asked" to include Fritos, TSN and the CFL in the jingle (I'm surprised they didn't add CIM in there too!) In jest, Montreal asked if they should throw in RDS, the French TSN. Too bad it was deemed a good idea. Talk about quashing creativity. So, the van ride home was dedicated to coming up with a rather uninspired jingle to the tune of "When the Saints (Go Marching In)". Guess we could all have a future in jingle writing. And once more to the hotel for a brief rest before the evening's activities. And I mean brief.
And so, it was off to the Hotel Saskatchewan for a cocktail party with the suits, costumes not optional this year. Whew. The hotel was very nice, and we immediately grabbed a table and found directions to the nearest open bar. After being warned by Allison, my favourite CIM'er, not to overdo it on the hooch, we settled in to chat quietly and eat. But soon enough, it was time for a very nicely produced video montage (which we were all promised a copy of...), and our on-stage introductions. They left me until last, and I actually thought that they might have forgotten about me. So, that being over and done with, we had a bit of time to drink and eat and schmooze before our next scheduled appearance, and that's where things took an odd turn.
I was standing with Edmonton, Winnipeg and BC over by a large cardboard display of Fritos chips, and I remarked on what fun it would be to tackle the display. Of course, we all thought it was a great idea, because we had beer in our hands. But, we were respectful that it wasn't ours to destroy, but, on a lark, we decided to ask for permission anyways. Seriously, it was just for a laugh. So we asked Allison, who gave us a bit of a withering look, but, sensing that we were joking, told us probably not, but she'd ask the higher-ups.
And here's my disclaimer: Allison did not have anything to do with this act of wanton destruction. She just passed along the request, nothing more. If it were up to her, she probably would have just said no. So, if any of her superiors are reading this, she's blameless. Really.
Now, I forget who Allison asked, but they loved the idea. I believe the exact words were "Yeah, go for it!" So, we notified the cameraman to be on the ready, separated out one section of the display, so as not to cause a domino effect, and made one large mistake - we didn't tell anyone else at the party what was about to happen. So, all of the sudden, they look up, hearing a very loud play call, and seeing several large costumed men in three-point stances in front of a display of chips. "HUT!" is yelled, and these crazed fans barrel through this display, tossing it a good ten feet in the air. Chips everywhere. And nothing but angry murmurs behind us. Whoops.
Seems everyone else in the room thought we were just stupid drunks, destroying stuff out of sheer contempt and lack of respect. Hey, I never said suits and fanatics mixed well. Look at me and Fred Fateri for an example.
So, while word slowly spread that we were indeed given permission to be idiots, we sheepishly picked up the chips (ony a few bags were destroyed, to my surprise), and cleaned our mess. And I can't help but feel that we're now persona non grata with the execs. Shoots next year's chances all to hell, doesn't it?
But soon enough, it was time to head across the street to the Scarth Street tent again, this time to be introduced on stage. Well, "introduced" is a relative term. What really happened is that we got up on stage, smiled, looked around, saw that we had been left to stand there like idiots (punishment for the chip incident, I'm sure), and began to throw our free samples of Fritos out into the crowd. But apparently, we were boring, because the chips kept coming back at us. So, after a few minutes of this fire, counter-fire, we exited stage left, and the band came on. Poor buggers, they had to put up with a barage of incoming chip fire for their first set.
So, on that note, we decided to head out, Jen and I, and go to one of the events we had been given tickets for, the Great Big Sea concert. Now, while I like GBS's music, I think they're jerks, stemming from an incident years ago when they snubbed me for an interview at the college. But we went anyways.
Now, as I've already said, finding a cab in Regina was interesting, so we ended up catching what we thought was a free shuttle down to the Ag grounds. Wrong-o, that's five bucks a head, please. Buggers. So we paid up and headed in... to a hockey arena where the rink area was packed. The atmosphere was a major buzz-kill, and, feeling my energy levels drop after a busy day, we did the unthinkable and headed for the hotel, VERY early. But on a positive note, as we were walking into the hotel, we ran into some people looking for something to do that night. So, we gave them our extra tickets to a country concert. Turns out, they were related to a member of one of that night's acts, but couldn't get tickets. So that felt nice. We hit the hay, in anticipation of a great game on Sunday.
Sunday, November 16th: Grey Cup Sunday. We were up early, but not early enough for the free continental breakfast downstairs. No matter, we were off to a pre-game party, and this year, I wasn't hung over! I could actually eat! So we grabbed a cab with Montreal and his friend, who turned out to be pretty nice guys. I gave 'em a few of my Go Als Go! buttons from last year. Another note to the CFL: those bus passes for game day aren't very useful. Drop 'em next year, and just give the winners a few more taxi chits. Oh, and a get-to-know-you get-together on the first night would be a great idea for next year, so that the winners can bond, and the friends and families can get to know each other, maybe arrange to travel together?
The breakfast was held a half-dozen blocks away from the field, in another hotel. As soon as we walked in, we saw a giant buffet laid out in the lobby. Not ours. That was for the guests of the hotel, including a few Montreal Alouettes! So we sauntered upstairs, and found our room. Again, free beer and scotch, and a great spread of food, including some great mini-pizzas! M'mm! So, after a few beers and a few plates of food, Jen and I headed towards the Crown Royal tailgate party. Well, maybe "tailgate party" is mis-leading. It was more of an outdoor party venue where five bucks would get you a tiny thimblefull of Crown. Eck. We didn't last there very long, and joined the queue into the stadium.
And speaking of misleading, our tickets were in the second tier. So you would think, one flight of stairs, right? Nope, we had to go up about five inclined levels to get to our seats, by which time I was pooped. But we ran into my soon-to-be-wife's brother-in-law's uncle (I know, I know) from Edmonton, and we chatted a bit. Then we found our seats, and settled in.
But we didn't count on the weather. It was crisp, and it was freakin' cold. Poor Jen wasn't dressed for the wind chill, and spent most of the game huddled under a TiCat blanket. I started off with two beers, but quickly switched drinks when I realized that my beer was actually getting colder. Thankfully, there was a hot chocolate stand that offered a shot of Bailey's, and we survived on those, and trips to the heated bathrooms.
And oh yeah, there was a game, wasn't there? Well, there was and there wasn't. As a Stamps fan, I didn't have a lot invested in the game. Sure, it would be nice to have a Western team win the 'Cup, but I did kinda like the Als, so I didn't really cheer for either team. Just watched. And frankly, it wasn't the best game ever player, or the most exciting. Really, the flyover by the Snowbirds was the most exciting part...
And so Edmonton won, and we slowly wound our way back down the ramps toward the ever-chilling evening. It was pretty quiet, which just confirmed my suspisions that 99% of the crowd couldn't bear to cheer for anyone but the Riders.
So we grabbed a cab with Plungerhead and Plungerhead Jr., and the pot-heads from BC. We were going to head down to Scarth Street, but we were told that the tent had been closed. Bummer. We weren't about to wait in line for the Eskimo or Roughrider Hospitality Room, so while everyone else headed back to the hotel as a stopover before more partying, Jen and I once again turned in early.
Monday, November 17th: Of course, our flight wasn't until 10pm. Argh. We had to be out of the hotel by one, so that left us with several large bags and nothing to do for nine hours. We thought maybe a trip to Casino Regina would be fun, but after losing our alloted funds to the slots in record time, we decided that we're just not the gambling sort (unless you mean fourth and goal on the one). So, it was off to the airport. The airport wasn't exactly JFK. It was a tiny box that was stuffed to the gills with people waiting for their turn to take to the air. So we sat and read and sat and drank and sat and played cards until we finally got on the plane. Little did we know, the adventure wasn't over yet.
We were on a flight with the Frank Sisson Outriders, and a bizzare flight crew, including a head steward who seemed determined to get himself fired. How? By spouting this nonsense:
"We'll be flying at 900,000 feet tonight..."
"We have 300 year old cookies... and snacks with arcenic in them..."
And to top it off, he sang, very quietly, as we took off, and pretended to try to reconcile a previous imaginary relationship with a far-too understanding cheerleader. Dude left me shaking my head every time the PA came on. Let's just say, he's probably trying to find out if there's an EastJet he can work for by now.
And that was the trip. No more football, no more Silver Stampeder, until the summer. Guess I'll just have to watch some NFL instead in the meantime. The NFL - Just like the CFL, except more boring and the ability to make you feel empty inside. Yay!

November 14, 2003:
Well, today's the big day! I leave for Regina, and the Grey Cup! I can't tell you how excited I am to be going - mostly for the Frito's stuff, like the parade. Oh sure, the game looks to be a good'un, but I get my kicks being crazy, and really, how crazy can I get at an Als-Esks game?
Just a quick recap of how the playoffs have gone so far, and my pre-playoff predictions. I said BC over TO in a heartbreaker that would see Dickensen go down injured. Well, the bugger didn't wait until the game to get injured, and the Leos fell to a hyper Argo team. Damn. 0-1. Then, I said Saskatchewan over the Bombers. 1-1. I said Montreal would destroy Toronto, but it wasn't the massacre I was expecting! I go to 2-1, but only by the barest of margins, and a phantom fumble. I called Edmonton over the Riders, despite wanting Saskatchewan to kick their butts. Sigh. I wish I was wrong on that one. 3-1. That brings us to Sunday, where my original prediction was a repeat for the Als. But lately, those pesky Esks have given me reason to doubt my original pick. So the final word? It's almost too close to call. My heart says Montreal, but my brain says Edmonton has a chance. In the end...
GO ALS GO!
See ya in Regina!

October 21, 2003:
...And that's it for the Stamps at McMahon this season. A terrible performance against the green Riders, but good luck to 'em, they'll have a hard enough road through the East! Can you imagine - if Saskatchewan makes the crossover and is successful, you could have a Grey Cup featuring Saskatchewan from the East and Winnipeg from the West! Crazy, eh?
And I hear that Stan Schwartz will be leaving the team as of October 31. I don't blame him, but I still wish he could have stuck it out. Hell, things can only get better, can't they?

Can't they?

October 16, 2003:
Greetings loyal readers! Yes, it's been a long time since this site has been updated. Forgive me. A brutal combination of hard work and dismal results from the Stamps has left me uninspired and sleepy, and thus, it's been a while since I've taken up the soap-box. But there are a few things that have inspired me to get back in the saddle.
For me, the biggest of those things would be corn chips.
Once again, Fritos and TSN teamed up this year to separate the chaff from the wheat, fanatic-wise, and come up with a collection of the craziest crazies that the CFL has to offer. Now, being last year's winner of the Ultimate Fan competition, I didn't fancy myself to have much of a chance this year. I mean, there's no doubt that if cheering for the Stamps was like Buddhism, I'd be the Dali Lama. But, no matter how loud, proud, and crazy I was, I figured that the judges would be looking for a fresh face this year.
Not to say I would have blamed them, really. From their point of view, picking the same guy twice in a row makes it seem like the fix is in, and it might discourage people from trying out.
But, greedy bugger that I am, I decided to try out again anyways, and at least make it difficult for them. And I told those judges that I was fine with them picking someone else, as long as that someone else was a bigger, louder, crazier fan than I was.
And there are some great ones at McMahon. You have your crazies, like the guy in the red pajamas with his whole head painted red. Or OldPaint, the resident crazy in Section V. And then there's those great Stamps fans who aren't crazy, but they're crazy about the Stamps. I'm talking about those fans who have held season tickets for twenty, thirty even forty years, suffering through the 1980's, and rejoicing through the 1990's. They've been there through thick and thin, and you can't discount fans like that.
But in the end, those Fritos people wanted the craziest Stamps fan in existence, and for the second year in a row, that was me.
So what makes me so crazy? I'd be happy to tell you. First, the look. Appearances are everything, aren't they? I've got the long, shaggy blonde hair under the silver mask, with the eyes blacked out. Then, the custom Silver Stampeder jersey, number 55. Then, the Fanatic shirt, with the very definition of fanatic written on the front of it, and speakers sewn into it (to listen to QR77 during the game). Then, there's the Ultimate Stamps Fan Championship title belt, the gigantic silver pants (MC Hammer would get lost in these pants!), and the giant, butt-kickin' shoes, size 37.5. Not to mention the Silver Gigaphone that can be heard from a kilometer away, the twelve foot extendible flagpole, and all the inner beauty that is the Silver Stampeder.
Inner beauty? Okay, more like how loud I can yell. Tom and I once again demonstrated the Painful Defence Chant, and I sang a little ditty about my ultimate fan inspiration, a man they called Bleacher Creature.
That song is available in the Songs section of the site, and I there's a bio on Bleacher Creature available here, too.
So, like someone tied up by a former Queen of England, I'm Regina bound!
And now, a word or two about those Stamps I love so dear.
It's a shame that they've managed to miss the play-offs, but there were several factors that kept the Stamps from winning, on a regular basis.
FRED FATERI - I know, he's gone and let's let him stay that way. But I just have to say, one last time, that if it wasn't for Fat-head, we'd probably be a hell of a lot better of a football team! Oh, and Fred, when your tell-all book comes out, can you autograph a copy for me? I hope I'm mentioned.
WALLY BUONO - This was the first in a string of bad moves. Wally may have been stingy about giving the new kids a shot, and there may have been elements in the dressing room that didn't like his coaching style, but these were small problems compared to what we're encountering now.
JIM BARKER - Poor Jim. Seems nothing went right for him this season. You know, thinking back, if they had kicked that field goal in OT on the first game to tie things up, do you think the season would have progressed differently? But seriously, there's a problem here. The man thinks he has an eye for talent, and that eye has been proven near-sighted not once, but twice. We'll get into those two problems in a second. But now that the coach's judgment has been shown to be faulty, how can the team have any faith in his ability to do better next season? And ad to that his apparent inability to control his players, and you have a problem that needs to be addressed. A good coach is respected, and yes, even feared a little by his players. If the Stamps feared Barker, d'you think there would have been as many fights this season?
LAWRENCE PHILLIPS - Good riddance to bad rubbish. This guy has all the tools, but no tool box. He may be, as he claims, the best running back in the league, but his foul disposition and terrible attitude means he'll get the chance to prove he's the toast of the Arena League. Then what, Lawrence? Flag football in the corner lot?
SCOTT MILANOVICH - Good move bringing Scott into the coach's fold. Those who can, do, and those who can't, teach. Milanovich can't. Sure, he wasn't given much of a chance, but really, he was so brutal during his mercifully short CFL career, he made Feterik look like Warren Moon.
KEVIN FETERIK - Ahh, the son also raises some eyebrows. Is this kid a decent quarterback? Sure, I'll grant him that. Is he a starter? Hell no. The kid has had three years to improve his arm strength, and he still can't accurately pass for more than five yards at a time! He has no mobility, and his left-handedness leaves him exposed too often. Feterik should be invited to training camp next year, but he should be made to fight for his job against quality CFL quarterbacks, not slumping XFL wash-outs and coulda-shoulda-woulda NFLers.
KELLY MAUVILLE - Okay, I don't know how to spell his name, but this guy has lost more jock straps on the field this year than there are leaves on the ground right now. Yikes. Learn to play the game, Kelly, and stick to your man in coverage!
DEMETRIOUS MAXIE, JOE FLEMING - Wow. If only you guys could be cloned.
MARK MACLOUGHLIN - Hail to the Chief? Only in the CFL could a man be the president of the team, and still find time to kick field goals. Sure, Duncan O'Mahoney was doing terribly, but the whole situations smacks of amateurism. Nothing against Mark, he's a stand-up guy and a great kicker, but really, what's next? Are they going to put a phone booth on the sidelines for him to change in?
DUNCAN O'MAHONEY - All you need is time, lad. Duncan is young, and he's got the skillz to pay the billz, yo. But he's inexperienced, in a position that other teams fill with old men. Duncan, you'll still be playing when you're 50, so don't rush your development.
MARCUS CRANDALL - Mr. Injury. You know, it's sad, really. The guy takes so long to recover, that by the time he's at 100 per cent and starts to play well, he gets injured again. Sorry Marcus, but you're not helping the team, and you need to find your future elsewhere. Thanks for that Grey Cup, but I'm sure your back is bruised from all the patting you've had for that. Truth be known, you didn't carry the team on your Atlasian shoulders. You were the quarterback, not the hero. Hope you get well soon.
TRAVIS MOORE, DAVE DICKENSEN, DARNELL KENNEDY, KELVIN ANDERSON - The ones that got away. First, Moore. What a stupid trade that was! Travis, enjoy the play-offs, but I gotta say, green ain't' your colour. The loss of Moore hurt, but the Stamps have plenty of go-to guys to go to in his place, like Blair, McCullogh, Petersen, McDonald and so on. But Dave Dickenson? Man, we could have used a veteran quarterback this year! Can you imagine what we could have done with a guy like that? We could have had CONSISTANT PLAY-MAKING ABILITY! But of course, we were looking for Feterik to be the future of the team at that point, so what do we need with an All-Star, right? Right? And Kennedy, of course, wasn't needed as a backup to injury-prone Crandall and weak-kneed Feterik? Bull. He would have been a huge asset for us, and I think we're going to be kicking ourselves in a few short years for letting him go. And Kelvin Anderson, well, we were wrong. Choosing between Anderson and Phillips should have been like picking between a kiss on the cheek and a kick in the gut. Anderson has done nothing but succeed, and for us to dump him was an insult, but a blessing for him. He gets to play where he's respected. Personally, I would have kept both Anderson and Phillips, for that potent 1-2 punch. Then, when Phillips does his cry-baby prima donna act, well, you've still got Mr. All-Star. Hey, other teams do it. Hell, Saskatchewan has four, count 'em four quality quarterbacks!... d'ya think they'd give us Smilin' Hank?

Well, that's all for this edition of the Silver Stampeder Report. I promise to write more often. Okay, so the off-season is coming, and there'll be nothing to write about. But I'll still write. Having nothing to say never stopped me before!

July 25, 2003:
Well, haven't I been the slacker as of late?
Yes, this is the first posting in a long time, despite the fact that there have been Stamps games. This sort of inaction might be okay during the off-season, but I'm woeful to my lack of attention during the summer. Shame on me!
But to be fair, lately it's been tough to be the Ultimate Stamps Fan. The last game, I didn't even wear the Silver Stampeder garb. I went incognito. Why?
A bunch of reasons. Sure, the team was in a slump, the organization was continuing to make stupid trades, and all that jazz. But to be honest, it just hasn't been fun lately.
For one, there's Fred Fateri. At first, this whole "Fire Fred" campaign was fun, but man, I didn't count on his reaction! Yeah, he loved it, and lately, he's shown up at our tailgate parties. The first time it was funny, but now I'm sick of the guy. And besides, he's gotten bolder in his visits, and he's become - here's the shocker - quite the jerk. All right, so maybe I deserve it. I did start this battle, but man, I don't have the stomach to finish it. So Fred, if you're reading this, you win. I give up.
I still think you're terrible at your job, but I'm sick of you. So go ahead, do your job and do it badly, and eventually, I'll get my wish and you'll get canned. But I'm done campaigning for it, because all I've accomplished lately is an increase in your already large ego. So ptth! to you.
Basically, I want to go back in time to when going to a Stamps game was fun. When I didn't analyze every little move the team made, when I cheered the guys on the field, no matter who their daddy was. I want to go back to being a fan.
And so, this Saturday is going to be my first attempt at being the new and improved Stamps fan. I won't boo Kevin Feterik, because he hasn't done that badly as of late, and besides, I really do want to see him do well. A solid performance by Feterik will go a long way towards a Stamps victory over the Argos, and that's what I really want to see. And besides, we have a lot to cheer about! Saladin McCullogh, Albert Connell, Joe Fleming, Darnell McDonald, AJ...

I don't yet know if I'll be donning the silver pants for the game, but if I do, it will be because I'm pumped for the game, and I want to help the team the only way I can - by cheering. If I go in my civvies, it's not because I don't care, but because I may need one more game to be just another guy in the crowd.is.

June 24, 2003:
I needed a few days to gather my wits, and get a proper perspective. Also, I needed to heal.
Let's start, appropriately enough, at the beginning. We gathered, we of Section B-Zarre, in the parking lot shortly after five, to drink and eat and sit. Guess we're good at it, because we won the coveted "Tailgater of the Game" award. We were pumped! We got a little trophy shaped like a barbeque(sweet!), and a new barbeque of our own! Now, we may have felt a little jipped afterwards, seeing as how the "barbeque" is just a wee one, with no propane hookup, but really, it was free, so it's all good. Besides, it can be adapted to lick the meat with a liquid fuel tounge.
Re-reading that, it sounds dirty. It's not.
So, we're on our way to another productive season of acting the fool and getting noticed in a big way. We captured the front page of the early edition of the Calgary Herald, and a little pic in the middle of the Sun. Whoo!
And of course, Fateri showed up again. This time, he wasn't quite as nice as the time before. Maybe he's getting scared of my petition to have him fired. He mocked my lack of hair (I shave it intentionally, dork), my disbelief at his original call (didn't think it was him because he called from his home - I have call-display - and I didn't think he had that little to do that he would waste his time calling fans who hate him, which would be a full-time job in and of itself!), pretended to sign the petition to have himself fired, and then had the audacity to diss my girlfriend! She introduced herself and went to shake his hand, and he wouldn't shake! She stood there with her hand in the air, and he wouldn't shake! Loser! Now it's on! Nobody disses my girlfriend, especially not some fake 'n bake, greasy, pompous jerk. Sorry Fred, I tried to be nice. Next time you stop by my tailgate party, you won't be so warmly recieved. And then, in the middle of this drinking and posing and winning stuff, a football game broke out! Now, I thought the Calgary offence didn't look all that hot, but the D was great, and the special teams were amazing! Too bad about the ending, but you have to admire Barker's guts in calling such a play. He's trying to instill a winning feeling in the team, and far be it for me to second-guess the guy.
Laurence Phillips looked mroe than ordinary. He looked bad. Sure, he may be an open-field runner who never got the protection he needed to really break out, but Laurence, you don't always get the open field handed to you. You have to get through the pile first. If he can't do it, then it's time to look for a new running back.
And the injury? Stupid me, I was taunting the guys who were throwing out the mini-footballs after a touchdown, and one threw a perfect pass to my gut. It bounced off, and I missed the catch. Stupidly, I threw myself towards the ball, and ended up sliding down the stairs. And I didn't get the ball. So, I tore up my knee a bit, scredded my wrists, and buggered up the thumb and pointer finger on my left hand. Dumb, dumb dumb.
Oh well, I'll have to make up for it next game with a spectacular catch.
Unless I'm holding a beer, that is.

June 9, 2003:
Well, a few thoughts about the pre-season game on Tuesday.
First off, Fred Fateri came to visit me at the tailgate party beforehand, which shocked me. He's smaller than I thought. Come back any time, Freddie. If you stick around longer, we'll give you a burger, and fire some questions at you.
The game itself? I thought the Stamps looked pretty good. Now, allow me to clarify something here. Lately, my postings have been pretty critical of the Stampeders organization, and I've often (and loudly) protested moves like the signing of Laurence Phillips and Albert Connell, the sometimes baffling devotion for Marcus Crandall, the losses of Buono and Dickenson, and the continued push for Kevin Feterik. I could go on, but those are the big ones.
But I'm big enough to admit when, initially, it looks as though I may have been a bit too harsh. Crandall, I'm happy to say, looked incredibly strong and confident on Tuesday, and seemed to have found a new favourite receiver in Donnie Blair. Connell had some nice catches, the D-line (which I never doubted would be great) were great, and although Phillips was seldom used and often quiet in the first game of the year, you'll never hear me complain about HIM being too quiet!
Wish I'd been more quiet. Tom and I broke out the Painful D-Fence chant about six times on Tuesday, which left me tasting blood, and caused me to completely lose my voice for the next couple of days. Thank god I got it back in time to emcee my sister's wedding! But hey, the throat is used to it now, and I'll be carrying throat losanges to the next game, so let's hear a DEE! FENCE! DEE! FENCE!
Now, I hope the owners and coaches read this next part (wishful thinking). One, did you notice the pop the crowd gave Kelvin when he came into the game? This man is a fan favourite, and if you dare to dump him for Phillips, there's gonna be hell to pay. Keep 'em both, and go with the deadly one-two punch. Two, did you also notice the chorus of boos for little Kevin Feterik? Dad, if you truly care about and love your son, you'll trade him. Why? Because in Calgary, Kevin will never get a fair shake with the crowd, the media, and I suspect, with the other guys in the dressing room. He'll forever be tainted by your influence over the team, Dad. As long as he's a Stamp, he won't be a success, no matter how good he may actually be. And sorry, but even though the last game was merely a practice, Kevin did not look like a number two quarterback. Trade him.
And a last note to Mr. Fateri. When Aldi Henry was on the bench, obviously in a lot of pain, was it really necessary for you to stick your head in there? I understand you have a right to be on the sidelines, if you so choose, but do everyone a favour and stay the hell out of the way! You had no business being in there, and there was nothing you could offer in the way of advice that would be any help to Aldi. So get out of the way. You're not a coach, you're not a player, you're a desk jockey with delusions of grandeur.

May 27, 2003:
An article in yesterday's Herald made me shake my head, even more than usual.
"Stamps vice-chairman Fred Fateri suggested during the off-season that the owner's son was a hot commodity around the Canadian Football League.
His counterparts, however, failed to support the claim.
"To be honest with you, I cannot even tell you how many teams have called me about Kevin Feterik already," Fateri boasted to a pair of scribes. "In all the pre-season games for two seasons in a row, he's done well. Because of that, I've had a lot of teams call me.
"I'm not kidding, all eight other teams have called and want to do a trade for Kevin Feterik. But you know what? I don't want to play against Kevin because he'll beat the (crap) out of us."
At this point, Fateri was warned that a quick phone call to any CFL team could expose his comments as outlandish.
"Call them up," he challenged. "That's fine. They're all interested in Kevin Feterik."
So . . . 11 flicks of the index finger later, Hamilton Tiger-Cats general manager Mike McCarthy was on the line.
"We have no interest in him," McCarthy politely replied. "They didn't use him, why would we want him?"
For good measure, another call was made.
This time, it was to Brendan Taman, assistant general manager of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.
"Are you kidding me? I've never even talked to Fred Fateri," said Taman. "We have no interest whatsoever in Kevin Feterik."
That was enough.
Six more calls possibly would have yielded six more GMs saying the same thing.
Fateri and owner Michael Feterik are trying to tell people all they want is a fair shake for the young quarterback, but comments such as those made by Fateri damage their credibility.
And, if anything, they make the climate even more uncomfortable for the 25-year-old pivot, who constantly is thrust into spotlight.
This situation obviously will warrant attention during Stamps training camp."
This was an article in the Calgary Herald by Michael Petrie, who has written a lot of bang-on stuff when it comes to the Stamps organization. Good on ya, Mike. Heap praise on him at mpetrie@theherald.canwest.com.
You know how I feel about this. Fred, you really have to work on your media skills. You're not doing anyone any favours.

May 6, 2003:
Well, I called Mr. Fateri about a week and a half ago, because somehow, I got the crazy idea that this guy had invited me to have lunch with him. But seems like no, everyone who said he was simply trying to intimidate me was right. I called to set up a lunch with ol' Freddie, and he responded "What for?" I don't know, you tell me. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CALLED ME! At any rate, I think it's safe to say I ain't gonna break bread with Fathead, but Fred, if you're reading this, please feel free to visit our tailgate party. In fact, you could say I'm inviting you to drop by and have a burger... if you dare. But be warned, you'll face some tough questions. Like, how the hell is the team gonna justify trading away Travis Moore for a freakin' draft pick?!? We're talking about a draft where 90 per cent of the talent will melt away to the NHL, AFL, or NHL Europe long before coming here. We're talking about a draft where at least one dead guy is selected each year! Are we gonna get good value on this trade? If, and I stress the if in this, we do end up winning this deal, it won't be this season, or the next. This deal is only winnable in the very long term, and really, is that what you need right now? You've signed Joe Fleming, which was practically a no-brainer. But who else?!? The Esks are signing players like they're going out of style, but the Stamps are acting like the shy girl at the junior high dance! Get out there and shake your money maker, and get us some talent, dammit! Fleming is a great start, but you're a long way from having a team that can compete this year, with precious little time to put it together!

April 1, 2003:
And I thought it was an April Fool's Day joke.

I got a phone call last night. I was relaxing, enjoying a modest dinner of tuna sandwiches, and waiting for my girlfriend to call for a ride home from school.

It wasn't her. It was Fred Fateri.

Seems Freddie has seen the site, including the Fire Fred Fateri petition and all. Strange thing is, he's not mad.

Now, this may seem out of place amidst all this Fateri bashing, but I've got to give the man props. He's either got a set of brass ones, and he's trying to intimidate me, figuring that I'll back down (likely? not overly), or he's a bigger man than I figured, with a sense of humour (gasp!), who got off on the wrong foot with the media, and he wants to make a fan feel appreciated. Or he wants to kill me.

Regardless, he's told me I ought to meet him for lunch one of these days, and I think I'll take him up on it. See if he's really the phone-slammin', Buono-angering, media-hating doorknob that he's been portrayed as in the popular media (and perhaps right here), or if he might just be a fellow fan who actually has the team's best interests at heart.

Either way, I'm pissed that he didn't sign the guestbook!

February 4, 2003:
Well, whaddaya know... two wrongs DO make a right! Feta and Fathead actually made an intelligent decision in hiring former Alouette Jim Barker. While he's no Wally Buono, Barker does have a repuation for bringing out the best in crappy QB's... betcha Crandall's got a smile.

I just hope that the morons, Feterik and Fateri, don't assume this means Barker will make a supastar! out of l'il Kevin. Hopefully, this coach will be true to his word, and allow no ownership interference when it comes to who starts. If they do try to doctor the lineup, Jimmy boy, send 'em up to see us in Section B, and we'll give 'em an earfull!

And notice who Wally brought into Vancouver with him? Yep, it's Chapdelain, or however you spell it. Seems his old Offensive Coordinator's gonna get a second chance with Wally and the Lions, and I have a sneaky suspision that we're gonna end up regretting both Wally and Chappy going over the mountains real soon.

And although it has nothing to do with football, and I know no one involved will ever see this page, I would like to offer my condolances to the families of the astronauts who perished in the Columbia disaster.

January 13, 2003:
Today will forever be known to Stamps fans as the new Black Monday. Those morons, Fateri and Feterik, are letting Wally leave.
I don't have the words to properly express my outrage. These two Yankee Doodle Doorknobs seem to be trying their damndest to sink this franchise. Wally's going to BC, where Dickenson is likely to follow. We'll get someone's dirty used jockstrap as compensation, and the few fans left in MacMahon Stadium can boo their hearts out as Kevin Feterik stinks it up at the quarterback position.
I can't say this with enough feeling: I am a Stamps fan, and I always will be. I will be there for this team through thick and thin, and the two boobs currently running this team are wearing about as thin as thin can get! So, does anyone else here in Calgary wanna cough up some extra dough so that we can buy the team away from their evil clutches? I've got twenty bucks in Canadian Tire money to start things off!

January 2, 2003:
Happy New Year! After reading a great article in the Calgary Herald by Michael Petrie, I decided to write to him. Here's what I had to say.

Dear Michael,

It's very easy to criticize the work of others (and as Homer Simpson would say, fun, too), but very few people are ready with a plan to fix what's broke. Congratulations on doing something rare - calling a spade a spade, and not just blindly defending the team and attacking the owners!

Speaking as a true fan (http://stampsfan.gameday.de), I can't argue with a single point on your list. Feterik and Fateri (who join a shorter f-word in being defined as a local swear) need to remember that without the fans, there's no team. And without Wally Buono, you don't have a large chuck of those valued fans. Fateri (who, if made into an action figure would feature kung-fu phone slammin' action) needs to be kept on a short leash - preferrably tethered to the first Greyhound out of town.

But remember that while the bandwaggon-hoppers will head for the hills at the first sign of trouble, we true fans are red-blooded, and we'll stay until the bloody end. There are a lot of weak-hearted fans, but I like to think that we true fans outnumber them by an order higher than F-Troop's combined IQ, or even better, their shoe size.

Yes, Chapdelaine had little to no experience in this league - but neither do the CEO and COO. But Dickenson and Fleming do, and if we can sign them back, there may be a more forgiving mood in McMahon next season.

Cut Marcus "Jitters" Crandall, and trade young Kevin Feterik for a couple of new footballs - good value in dollars and public opinion, and goes a long way to proving Old Man Feterik didn't try to buy his widdle boy a team to play with.

And yes, bring on these great players who owe our owner a favour. Maybe a few good receivers, and one or two of the D-men you were asking for. But given his track record so far, I wouldn't be surprised to see Feterik's elderly grandmother lining up to stop a third-and-goal on the one.

But really, how likely is all of this? Looking at the evidence of late, I'd have to say it's a pipe dream, and I'm not talking PVC. I'm talking about the kind of pipe we all hope Fateri's been dragging on. I mean, he can't actually be like that for real, right? Sadly, I think we've seen the immediate future of the Calgary Stampeders, and with "Fathead" Fateri and "Feta" Feterik (Why feta? Because he's no gouda for the team!) at the helm, it all appears to be going up in smoke.

But keep 'em coming. It's fun to dream.

December 20, 2002:
Alright, I can't be the only one a little bit worried about the current direction of the Stamps.
Let's start with the new owner, Michael Feterik.
Now, besides the fact that his kid is one of our backup QB's (note: trade him trade him trade him - it saves you having to cut your own kid), he doesn't seem to be too scary. But then Feterik hires Fred 'Fathead' Fateri, who immediately sets out on a smash and destroy mission, pissing off the local media and trying to get rid of long-time coach Wally Buono.
Now, I've never been Wally's biggest fan. I think he sticks to his guns too much sometimes, and he's not willing to let the young talent have a chance, even if the starter sucks eggs (ie Marcus Crandall). But you don't argue with sucess, and even with this most recent disaster of a season, Wally's a winner.
And you DO NOT treat a winner the way that Wally's been treated. Hell, you don't treat Chapdelain, or however you spell his name, the way you treated Buono.
Wally, if it's any consolation, the folks up in the stands understand your frustration. In comes some American owner who thinks he knows what's good for the team, even though he'd never before seen a CFL game, and probably couldn't throw a football five yards to save his life. And he brings in some smarmy little bugger to foul up your team and tell you how to do things.
Wally, I'd be looking to BC too if I were you.
But don't let those morons win. I've heard word that they'd replace you with a coach from the ranks of the American college football system, someone who won't know not to take a knee in the endzone if you're down by a point, and will tell his players to knock down anyone on a kickoff who doesn't have their hand in the air. Please, Wally, don't let 'em do that to us!
Wally, you're our only hope. Sure, we may not have always been as nice to you as we could have been, but there's sure to be a renewed passion that you can share with the fans in McMahon. A hatred for the owners.
Stay, Wally, and share our contempt. We'll cheer when you walk out onto that field, and boo our lungs out every time Feterik dares to poke his snow-topped head out into sight. And we won't let them do this to you again, this insult. They know now who we want: Wally Buono. And they know who don't want: Them.

November 26, 2002:
Back from the Grey Cup in Edmonton. So much to tell, so much to tell. Let's start with where we left off, Thursday night, looking for a megaphone.
So, after much calling and fretting, I finally got the goofball in Barrie, the one for whom I'm blaming all these troubles whether he deserves it or not, to agree to call a local store and supply me with a megaphone in stock. Why this wasn't done in the first place, I don't know.
Of course, I still can't get a new one. Seems every bloody store in the city got just one, and every bloody store seemed to want to use their only megaphone as a display model. You know, something for the unruly Children of the Mall to play with (Read break).
So I go to a local mall named after a local warming trend from the mountains, and go to this purveyor of electronics to claim a megaphone for my very own. And yes, this store has one set aside for me. Only problem is the GIANT F*CKING CRACK down the side of the damn thing! Yep, the casing was cracked so badly, the battery casing wouldn't close. And they tried to pass it off on me! B*stards!
So, after rejecting this broken toy, the clerk begrudgingly called another store for me - across town. Sure, they had one, and they'd hold it for me. So, off I go, girlfriend in reluctant tow, to a mall in the north (I was WAY south) named after a hill somwhere that must have been a great place to watch the sun set. Anyway, I go in to yet another store, prepared for yet more trouble, and surprise surprise, I got trouble.
Seems between the time it took to call this other store and for me to drive there, the staff had switched shifts or something, because the pimply little monkeys behind the counter didn't have a clue what I was talking about. I tried to explain to them about the EBay auction, and about the troubles I'd seen, but they remained unconvinced. Finally, one of the counter monkeys had a bit of a yell at the other store through the phone, and after expressing his dissatisfaction aobut losing his only megaphone, he placed the box into my hands.
Victory.
Still, I'm never shopping there again.
Friday, November 22: So finally, it was trip time. Jen and I were up at the crack of dawn, all packed and ready to go. After checking a dozen or more times to see that we had everything (and surprisingly, we had everything we needed), we headed out the door.
The flight was fairly uneventful. Jen had to undo her belt for an overzealous rent-a-security monkey (notice how people with no real work get called monkeys? fitting, isn't it?), and we got to share a bumby ride in a plane slightly larger than a crop-duster with some of the Lotto 6-49 winners. Setting down in Edmonton, we had, surprisingly, a little trouble. Seems the taxi chits provided by the CFL weren't quite enough to get us to the hotel. Sure, a minor problem, but I worried about the foreshadowing. We paid the extra and left a nice tip.
And there we were, the Sheraton Grande. Real nice hotel, with a swimming pool (never got to it), several nice restaurants (or so I was told) and a nice little pub that should be banished from the face of the earth for having only three kinds of beer, including Canadian!
Friday night was fairly calm. Jen and I went over to the Edmonton Hospitality Suite a few blocks away, and couldn't believe our eyes. The lineup to get in ran out of the hotel and down the block. Needless to say, we didn't go in. But I did run into a guy selling buttons, and picked up my EBay order from him for ten Go Als Go! buttons, and ten I Am Canadian! buttons. Also picked up some Edmonton 2002's as souveneirs for the folks back home, as well as some Go Stamps Go's and some Canadian Girls Kick Ass! buttons for Jen.
So, after seeing the line, we were a bit worried about going up to the Saskatchewan Roughrider Hospitality Suite, convieniently located in our hotel. But althought it was a smaller room, we had no trouble getting in. We had a beer or five, made small talk with every Stamps fan in the room (we were undercover, in our newly aqquired Grey Cup sweaters). And joy of all joys, I got to meet the guy from Section V! Yes, the Major. He and I chatted it up a bit, and he promised to come visit us in Section B next year. I'm gonna hold him to that!
The reason OldPaint was there was similar to why I was there. Seems the Fritos people tried to fix the contest for Major to win, but he didn't enter, and so I won. Yay for me! But OldPaint's such a great Stamps fan, they asked him to come up anyway. You'd figure I might be insulted by this, and I would if it had been anybody but him.
As it was, I was happy to see him there. I used to sit in Vee, right behind him, and he's kinda my hero, as far as inspiring my manic costumes and outrageous behavior at sporting events.
So Friday ended early, which was good. Saturday was a long day.
Saturday, November 23: We woke up bright and early on Saturday, so that I could get all gussied up for the Grey Cup parade. I got down to the lobby, and finally got to meet some of the other winners. Waiting there when I got down was the Winnipeg guy. I don't remember anyone's name - I only recall the city. He was dressed in a Blue Bomber/Angus Reid thing that made it obvious why he won. He reminded me of Sean, my journalism buddy. We got along, no sweat. He had brought his dad out to the game with him, and his dad was a nice guy, although a bit quiet.
I don't remember who came next, so I'll go from coast to coast. From BC, there was the gal in the Xena costume, with strategically placed half-footballs. Again, we got along great, although her "footbra" got a lot of the attention from the media that the rest of us were craving. There were two guys from Edmonton, and I'm not sure which one was the winner. They were awful quiet for being the host fans, I'll tell ya.
But they didn't get much quieter than the guy from Saskatchewan. Now, I was expecting the nuttiest of the nutballs, and instead we got a guy who seemed to shrink into the background. Hamilton was a big guy with pretty good facepaint. He also wasn't the loud, happy-go-lucky type I was expecting. A little mellow. Toronto was a guy in a jersey. He was great at making up rhymes, and came up with a little ditty for Fritos that we all sang during the parade. But other than that, he wasn't all that visible.
Miss Montreal was visible. With great facepaint and all the energy of the Tazmanian Devil on crack, she seemed to get possessed by the devil at times while she chanted for her beloved Alouettes. But she was funny to watch.
And so we were set. Allison, the PR gal in charge of the motley crew, led us out to the parade, where we were a bit surprised to find out that our "float" was actually a pickup truck with a banner on either side.
I decided against riding on the "float," as there was limited room to move around in the back, and I really wanted to test out the new soles on my giant shoes. So I hoofed it around the rather long, but rather sparsely attended parade route, alternately shouting Stamps, Esks and Alouette slogans, and berating the parade goers for not making enough noise.
And then it was over. The parade, I mean. Suddenly, we were pulled over to the side of the road, and everyone went back to the hotel. Except me, because I'd planned to meet Jen at the end of the parade route, not realizing how many end points this parade had (three or more). So, I had to stand around a rather seedy part of Edmonton in my rather conspicuous Stamps costume, wondering if Jen would find me alive or dead. But gladly, she found me after only fifteen minutes.
So we headed back to the hotel, only to be dragged right out once we got there. Seems CBC wanted to do a live feed with us. Well, some of us. I was relegated to the back row, as the world's most hyper little announcer-dude interviewed Winnipeg (for his shorts), BC (for her, err, footballs), and Montreal (because she's crazy). Oh well.
After that, it was back to the hotel to relax for a little while, before we had to go out to a Fritos cocktail party downstairs. Of course, I went in full costume (minus my way-too-warm muscle arms), to find most everyone else in their civvies! Guess I should have packed that suit, eh?
But I soon forgot about how much I stood out, and instead chose to stand in line for the open bar. I took the opportunity to introduce some of the other winners to the wonders of Big Rock beer, of which I was constantly drinking from two of. One was for Jen, but I never got around to giving them to her. Oops.
So, after a few drinks there, Winnipeg came with Jen and me to the Wild n' Wooly party, with Kim Mitchell and Trooper. I couldn't honestly tell you who was on stage while we were there, but it didn't matter, because we weren't there for very long. After a while, we got restless and, after bumping into BC, we all headed out to the Calgary/Edmonton Hoe-Down.
That was a mistake. We got there too early, and found quiet groups, sitting at tables, and a few old folks kickin' it up on the dance floor. We didn't last long there.
In fact, I think we spent mroe time waiting outside for a cab big enough for five, than we did inside. From there, it was on to the Winnipeg room, where the Grey Cup was being put away as we walked in, and I completely missed Jock Climie jammin' on the guitar.
And soon, the old restlessness set in once again, and Jen and I walked back to our hotel to spend some time in the Saskatchewan hospitality room. Not that we were there long, either. Once more beer, and we decided to call it a night, before someone called it for us.
Sunday, November 24: They say that waking up is hard to do, and now I know, I know that it's true. After a hard night of partying, my head and I were not on speaking terms. But, there was a buffet to attend, a game to watch, and damn it, it was eleven o'clock in the morning already. Time to shake off the shakes, and get a move on.
So, after a big cup of coffee and a long, hot shower, I got my gear on, and headed down to the lobby to meet up with the rest of the group. Now, we had been given these passes to bus it to the game, but the bus didn't leave until later, and we wanted to get to the free food at the community hall beside the stadium. So a big group of us, Winnipeg, BC and us Calgary folk piled in to a minivan cab, and were about to leave when a Baltimore fan asked if he could come with us. Sure, we said, hop in. And as we pulled away from the hotel, I asked if everyone had their Gery Cup game tickets.
"Oh no, I forgot mine," said Baltimore, and we all laughed, thinking he was making a joke. "No, seriously, I forgot them," he says. "Stop, I have to get out." So the cabbie stops - half-way through the intersection! - and Baltimore jumps out. Strange way to start things off!
So we finally get to the community center, and after finding a table, we all attack the buffet table. Only while I felt fine as I scooped up the food, I felt a wee bit worse as I actually began to eat. And it quickly became obvious that the giant mound of beef and potato salad on my plate was not going to be eaten. Instead, I drank a coffee and a Pepsi to settle my stomach, and a beer - you know, hair of the dog that bit you. Didn't help me eat, but at least I didn't lose what little had already gone down!
So, after suffering for a while, we walked over to Commonwealth Stadium, which I must admit, is massive. But there was a problem. As we were going in, one of the rent-a-cops told me that I wouldn't be allowed to bring in my megaphone.
"You might scream in someone's ears," was his reason. Well, perhaps you'd like to take away those horns that everyone else in the stadium has?!? Moron. Jen figured I was getting hassled for being a Stamps fan in Edmonton, so she took the megaphone in for me, and no one looked twice. Bast@rds.
But we got in, that's the important part. And after several minutes of mucking around and trying to figure out Commonwealth's rather confusing seating arrangement, we settled in for the big game.
You all know how the big game went. It sucked, but he end result was good. The field was a skating rink, and the talent on the field was kept from putting on a show.
Meanwhile, back in the stands, the peanuts began to fly. A couple of small-minded morons decided to start hucking stuff at the people in red-and-white. Real mature. But being mindful of my vastly outnumbered situation, I ignored them. Thankfully, being drunker than the average idiot, they managed to miss us most of the time, bouncing peanuts off the skulls of nearby Edmonton fans, which, I have to admit, brought a little smile to my face.
But towards the end of the game, things began to take a turn for the worse. There was more grumbling as the Esks slid further and further behind, and soon grumbling led to muttering, which led to some words being exchanged, which led to screaming, which led to fighting. Funny thing, it seemed to be Esk fans screaming at Esk fans, but Jen and I figured that it wouldn't be long until they decided to find another target. So, we packed up and headed for the top of the section, and watched the rest of the game standing next to a couple of REAL police officers.
And when the game was done, we made like rabbits in front of a pack of dogs, and made a beeline for the LRT, getting onto a train mere minutes before the rest of the hoarde.
All was quiet when we got to the downtown core, which was surprising. We had figured on some sort of public disturbance. But rather than wait for trouble, we high-tailed it up to the hotel, and took a night off from drinking, and fell asleep only twenty minutes into Star Wars: Episode II on the pay-per-view in our room.
Monday, November 25:The trip back was uneventful, other than the over-zealous security monkey making Jen take off her belt again at the airport metal detector. It was too bad that we didn't get a chance to say good-bye to the rest of the Frito's Football Freaks, but I'm sure we'll see them again, at next year's Grey Cup in Regina.

November 21, 2002:
You would not believe the trouble this trip to the Grey Cup has been thus far. And I'm not even there yet!
I finally found my itinerary and tickets. The letter inside had been written on October 16th. Thanks for keeping me in the loop, eh? Anyways, a travel agency that will go unnamed, but I think they're spanish, but world-wide. They keep talking about "One World" but say Uni instead of one, which I think is spanish... anyway, this travel agency tried to ship a package to me with only my building number and city listed. No street number, no quadrant. And for my phone number, they put down the first three digits of my work number, and the last four of my home number. Guess they thought I'd be in one of those two places, so they tried both at once.
So I had to drive up to the airport and pick up the package myself, lest they try to deliver it again, and screw it up.
So you'd think I'm set then, right? No siree. You see, I ordered a megaphone on Ebay from a fairly reputable Canadian retailer, who usually deals in setting up AM receivers for shanties. Figuring that a bid won on October 25th would have plenty of time to get here. How wrong I was. As I write this, I am still waiting to hear back from either Purolator or this 'reputable' store. Neither of them seem to know where the package is. Now, this isn't the first problem I've had with this shipment. The original megaphone got to Calgary on the 14th of November, only to be declared undeliverable, and sent back to Ontario on a slow truck. The megaphone I'm waiting for now is a replacement megaphone, and a used one at that. It was a store display model, and I swear, if it's a busted up piece of crap, someone's going to get an earful. Here's a picture of my missing megaphone.
I can't wait to just get up there and have some fun, rather than stress over the details.

This website is not, in any way, shape or form, connected with the Calgary Stampeders, Grey Cup 2002, Canadian Football League, The Sports Network, Fritos or any other company mentioned here. The thoughts and opinions are my own. The logos belong to the teams and/or companies, and I hope they won't mind if I use 'em.