I should write something about that awful scene called the Real World Challenge 2000 where they have poor sobbing Gen-Xers jump off fucking buildings and sticking their heads in microwave ovens and the like.  Something about the whole banal kindergarden romp makes me projectile vomit all over my cock and balls.  I think I know what it is.  It’s the constant reinforcement of the concepts of greed and selfishness being the only motivating forces in our culture (and indeed, the world), here in our grand new millenium. These not-even-human-fucking-beings, these simps, who could not collectively operate a screwdriver or a toaster, get chosen for the job of representing an entire age group of young Americans.  I don’t think these sacks of shit are even representative of the MTV listening audience.  Do they represent you?  Do they represent your hopes and dreams?  Do they have the complexity of being that they could actually have hopes and dreams?  Perhaps.  But all they really are are pretty people void of character, void of voice, and void of spirit.

    The intrepid (and insipid) young troopers are placed on endless and exciting adventures to the effect that they are conquering their fears, such as jumping off a building tied to a bungee cord.  But all they are really doing is caving into the peer pressure of the group so as not to let down the team and their chances of getting a piece of 10000 virtual dollars, split 10 ways or some other fishy arrangement.  See, here is the key to see if someone is facing their fear and standing up for themselves: someone saying “no”.  No, I won’t jump off a fucking building for you or anyone else.  And especially not for theoretical money. 
I keep remembering this pitiful sobbing Jewish American Princess belly-flopping off a bungee platform or bobbing for pig’s feet even though it apparently violates some pork-oriented Jewish law (well, she really wasn’t eating them was she?).  Man, that’s moral character, isn’t it?  That’s true grit.  I admire her pluck.

    Do not be fooled.  These people are not growing up, they are growing fucked.  Some people would hump their own mothers to get a leg up and MTV wants to bring their stories to you.  And that is who you are expected to be.  I say make it interesting.  See how much money it would take for the group to bash some cute puppies’ heads in with a baseball bat.  You know, in the end, someone would cave in and start whacking as long as MTV put a cool spin on it.  Ah, let ‘em hit the pavement at a billion miles an hour; they deserve it as well as anyone, poor dumb bastards.

Or, in the words of the lively rock group Radiohead,
WE HOPE THAT YOU CHOKE.