#1 Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob

#2 Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded.

#3 Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

#4 Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

#5 Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and a cock?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

#6 Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"

#7 Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

#8 Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the PillsburyDough Boy?
A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

#9 Q. How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A. One of his fingers is clean.

#10 Q. What's the biggest fish in the world?
A. A hore, if you catch one you can eat her formonths.

#11 Q. Whats the difference between parsley and pussy?
A. Nobody eats parsley.

#12 Q. What's green, slimy and smells like Miss Piggy?
A. Kermits Finger

#13 Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

#14 Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have incommon
A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubberbreaks you're screwed.