LIVE in TAS

Elvis Costello and the Imposters, Steve Cummings and Mick Thomas ...

Sunday November 28th 2004 -
Morilla Estate -
$99.oo -
Bookings TICKETMASTER 7

Like Oz Rock?
Then check out
WWW.HEYMOOK.COM

THE HOBART MOCKERY

here's a tip for you sunshine

Late october novemberish 2004

In which ex weddo Mick scores an Aussie capital city marketing coupe.

In a task which has eluded top Hobart Band Hey Mook for a few years now a struggling Melbourne muso has scooped the pool with an article in local Hobart rag, THE MERCURY.

"Self styled rockstar and ex Weddings Parties Anything frontman, Mick Thomas has appeared on this webpage in a blantant attempt by UMOOKU to gain WWW search engine positioning", claimed former ALP candidate and former Beathoven frontman, Charles Tauber while out on the hustings today. "I thought joining the ALP would get me a gig with Mushroom Records but I reckon I reckoned wrong."

Following a query to THE MERCURY by Hey Mook regarding their absence from the Weddos Myth the paper denied all knowledge of The Mooks. "You should send us a brightly coloured demo, that'll get a larf" However Mr Thomas has a completely different tale to tell as related in a strange dream UMOOKU had last night ...

Somewhere in the far off distance a saxaphone plays ....

Man on telly

Good evening, This is Kerry O'brien 7:30 report. Tonight, down the docks, live from Hobart I am .... errrrr .... hanging out with .... f**k it's cold enough to ... errrrrr .... Australia's errrr ..... greatest living errrrrr .... top bloke! Good evening Mr Thomas.

Rockstar

G'day Kerry. Did I mention that I played a pivotal role in The Waifs and many other successful acts?

Man on telly

Weel Mick it's funny you should say that because I just happen the have a copy of THE MERCURY on me and in the article "Tip from the voice of Weddings" you most certainly get that point in. You must be very errr .... talented. Do you really think that the average punter is going to fort out ... sh*t ... $99.00 ... that's steep! ... to listen to .... errrrr .... Yesterday's Hero?

Rockstar

Not my song Mate, Ask Elvis or whoever the f**g promoter stuck on the bill. Have I mentioned my latest CD yet?

Man on telly

Well yes, you just gave me a copy .... errrrr .... are there any new songs on it?

Rockstar

No Kerry, It's what is called in the industry an retrospective compilation. Let's just say it's a worthy tribute to errrr .... one of the stalwarts of Oz Rock mate!

Man on Telly

errrr .... any songs from the first album .... errr .... like that was .... errrr .... shite .... wasn't it?

Rockstar

No Kerry, it was what we call in the trade, A Demo .... geddit? .... although it was errrrrr ..... some what of an historical record .... like errrrrrrrr ..... where's your f**n' album of original material Kerry?

Man on telly

Point taken Mick, you are obviously .... errr ... Monday's expert. Am I .... errrrr ... 'In the right place at the right time'? Is this the right .... errrr .... gig?

Rockstar

It depends on wether or not I think you're a c**t Kerry.

I read the news today ....

Man on telly

Precisely Mick. Getting back to THE MERCURY article ... errr.... you say .... 'it's more about playing the right gigs and being in the right places". I visited WWW.MOOKEMON.COM today and the story suggests that playing the right gigs and being in the right places never got The Mooks anywhere? Like you must have met them, like the Weddos did share a bill with them in them early days?

Rockstar

Yes, well not exactly ..... errrr .... our manager did our dirty business for us as is the way .... but the Mooks are a f**g pakkapoofs mate.

Man on telly

How so Mick when the Mooks haven't ever .... errrrr .... sucked ... errrr .... corporate cock ..... unlike maybe some who prefer to party and socialise ..... rather than errrr .... score them hard runs ...... What was your appraisal of the Mooks when they .... errrr .... let me see ... errr ..... and I quote ... "blew the weddos orf orf the stage ... "?

Rockstar

What are you saying Kerry? I invented the 'Hard Yards" mate or runs or whatever you call it out in journo land .... errrrr ....... actually that'd be a good name for a song .....

Man on telly

Maybe, but noones denying that you've worked hard but don't come the raw prawn with me and try telling me that the music business is some sort of meritocracy where the good guy always wins ... like ..... errrr .... if one swallowed your myth without question you'd be ..... errrrr ..... .... ... . .. ... .... ..... Henry Banjo.

Rockstar

Shut the f**k up Kerry and let Uncle Mick tell you something. In my culture only the strong survive. You've got to let yourself be barstardised because otherwise you'll never win. If you're sensitive or display any weakness you'll never survive, in the end only a complete and utter bastard will survive ...... errrrr ......

Man on telly

Are you really a complete and utter bastard or is UMOOKU just a paranoid f**kwit?

Rockstar

But only in the nicest possible way. We construct a myth like we hang out in mate's sheds, a bit of choofa, talk deals, and if I think you're O.K., it's right place right time equal the right gig and hey it's a done deal ... errrr .... yes .... errr ..... the Hay Moths .... well mate they didn't play the game, they could see it was a errrr ... robbery right from the start .... and I errr .... don't like that .... they don't know their place ...

Man on telly

What? As your roadcrew and soundcheck fodder? Surely not playing "the game" would earn them some respect?

Rockstar

Not at all Kerry. I know some pretty big wheels in this industry you know Kerry being a .. errrrr .... icon ....... and living on the right side of the river ... did you know that I am .... errrr .... a mate of .... errrrr ..... Mr Gudinski .... and .... like who do the Mooks know?.... errrrr ..... noone mate, that's who ..... hicks from the sticks ehhhh eee ....

Man on telly

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ... interesting .... Will you be playing any benefits for the ALP like other gullible Mushroom Stars have in the past?

Rockstar

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ... interesting .... errr .... only if there is .... an opppooortunity to errrr ..... raise my profile .... yeah ... errr ... maybe The Greens represent the best opportunity .... yes .... I can see it now .... next CD .... rootsy mate .... Mr Flanagan to contribute errrrr .... stirring appraisal ..... "best album I've ever heard in me life, bought tears to me eyes .... " .... have you got Bob Brown's number? Hmmmm better run that one through Mike ....

Mook

Oh there you are ..... errrr ... sir ... errr ..... Mick! Please have a free .... errr ... Hey Mook CD ..... right place right time never gets you anywhere .... it's errrr .. a robbery ...

Rockstar

It's a DEAL ... hmmmmm .... Hey Mook ehhhhh? Still goin' after all these years and I thought I'd dispensed with them ... yeahhhh ... errrm ... I'll give it a spin .... errrrr .... any ideas I can ... borrow .... errrrlllll .... buy you a beer

Everyone

It's a deal!

Outside this bar there is noone alive ....

Mook

How does anyone survive? What do we do eh Mick? urrrp ... kerrrry?

Rockstar

F**k me drunk .... urrrp .... yerr not still going on about getting dumped from the f**n' Harvest Festival are you ..... urpppppp .... get a f**g life loser .... face it my fine feathered friend The Mooks are .... errrrr .... crap mate .... and ..... errrrr .... well .... not meaning to polish me own trumpet but I'm errrr ... an .... icon ...

Mook

Is that an actual fact c**ksucker?

Rockstar

Oi! I'll pretend I didn't hear that sunshine, If you don't pull your head in I'll set the boys on yerrrr .... geddit?

Man on telly

Now now boys we don't want any errrr ..... bifffo .....

Punters at bar

Shut the f**k up Kerry ....

Much later in the boot of a car Herr Mook overhears a conversation ........

Rockstar

noone crosses me

Roadie

You gotta have a lot of nerve

Rockstar

Herr will get what he deserves ... ha ha ha ha ...

Roadie

What will his fate be?

Rockstar

... much the same fate that convict chap dealt out I imagine .... which reminds me ... did you know that I am also somewhat of an .... errrrr ..... historian .... yea ermmmmm ... errrr ... did yer remember to bring me soy sauce Shrimp ... I think I'll have me Mook ... errrrr .... well done if you dont't mind ... or maybe I'll make that suzzette .... urrrrp ....

Roadie

Yes boss ....

Rockstar

UMOOKU's problem is that he is .... errrr ... a paranoid f**kwit ...

.... there is a creepy silence ........ there is a spooky voice ....

God

Don't you worry UMOOKU it's nought but a dream, in real life you'd never get to mix with the likes of Sir Mick. You are nought but a foolish fool you foole .......

Mook

Oh .... I knew it was I, for many have called me foole ... a dream ehhh ..... at least I've got me trousers on ...

God

Shutup you paranoid f**kwit!

DISCLAIMER : The presence of Sir Mick at this alleged location may, or may not be factual. Any resemblences to actual persons is purely intentional.

UMOOKU

more news ...

BACK OVER THE BORDER

more news ...

Story Time With Mick IT'S A DEAL - Part Three After the breakdown of relations with RooArt we just needed time to think and Donkey Serenade provided us with that. I'd bought some gear to record the Waifs first album with Jen Anderson and we'd enjoyed the process so much we decided to see how we went with the Wedds. So Donkey Serenade was recorded on an absolute shoe-string and it was to be the one factor that finally shook us free of the crippling debt we had accumulated in the late eighties and had never quite been able to shake. It was a fun period as we decided to dispense with record companies (and therefore record retail) entirely. It was just us selling them at the shows and there's more than a few of the ex band members who felt we should have kept on doing our records like that. So why didn't we you might ask? Well, simplistic as it may sound it just wasn't that sort of band - we didn't all hang around the office and lick the stamps.....we were people used to having budgets for things. And I wasn't sure we could ultimately keep making records that cheaply. Sooner or later the costs would creep up as we attempted to make "proper" records. Also I guess at the bottom of it all we still felt we were in with a chance for actual commercial success and at that time the only way this seemed possible was with a large record company. Mushroom Records to be specific.  Our deal with them happened in the most casual organic way possible. I used to see Mushroom Records boss Michael Gudinski around town all the time - at St Kilda games and at various gigs. He was always really friendly with me and so I started saying to him every time we were drunk that I always figured as Melbourne icons the Weddings deserved to be on the iconic Melbourne record label. (Presumptuous of me, I realize). And then oneday our publishing was free and someone had mentioned it to someone else - one of the girls in the office had agreed. Someone had heard some new songs at a gig somewhere and someone had run the idea past somone else and Michael walked up to me at the footy and said that I was probably right. The Weddings deserved to be on Mushroom. Easy. But if the signing was simple everything after that seemed to become suddenly very complicated and distressing. Riveresque was finished and packaged and came out promptly on Mushroom through Festival. And then after about six weeks we were called in for a meeting where they broke the news to us that they were changing their distribution company from Festival to Sony. The album hadn't really taken off and so would have to be re-packaged and re-released. But after a few months with Sony (I can't remember exactly how many - it felt like about two) we were called into the office, taken out to dinner where they broke the news to us that things hadn't worked out for them at Sony and as Lachlan Murdoch had purchased Mushroom and he already owned Festival, Mushroom Records (and therefore WPA) would be heading back there. And the album was officially finished as they wanted to start work on packaging a "best of". The band were absolutely gutted. In terms of thinking where the actual demise of the Weddings began to take shape it had to be at this moment. In a flash restaurant in Albert Park the vehicle that had dragged us coughing and sputtering, freewheeling, careering and ultimately stalling all over the world had come to a shuddering halt. Even though there's people within the band that felt we shouldn't have gone with a record company at this time I'm still happy that we made the right choice. It didn't reap the big hits we were all hoping but as always, I had the feeling we were perilously close. I still believe somehow the Weddings were always a Mushroom type of band and what I guess I really lament is that we hadn't found our way there earlier. So since then it's mainly just been me doing my stuff through Croxton - a label I run with my good buddy Nick Corr and my partner Jenny Huntley doing all the art. There's not much to the equation really - we sell a fair bit over the net, a fair bit through the shops but probably do the most of it up the back of the shows at the merch desk. I've still got my publishing at Mushroom and I enjoy the input they have into my catalogue. Over the years I would have to say the industry seems to have become more and more regimented. Getting new records and artists into shops seemes to have become an incredibly difficult task in itself. The amount of thought and co-ordination to attain any sort of commercial prospect is totally daunting to me these days. Commercial radio is Mount Everest. I was doing an interview in Tasmania recently on a commercial breakfast time show for the play The Tank that I wrote with my brother Steve. It was all very chatty and topical - really not much to do with music at all. In one of the add breaks I noticed the new Nora Jones CD on the desk. "What's this like?" I asked the DJ who suddenly looked a bit sheepish. "Oh yeah, pretty good, sounds beautiful, just like the last one sort of. Yeah, I think they might be thinking about giving one of the tracks a bit of a spin. I'm not sure really." As he changed the subject to something wacky and breakfasty I reflected that if the world's major selling artist for 2003 can't get their new record played, what chance has anyone else? Thinking of giving it a spin indeed! So back to the Aria awards and it's a funny old industry all right. Everyone is thanking everybody, everyone is signed to the best label in the world and it all just seems so wonderful and like I said at the start - it's hard not to be a little cynical. So many new bands watch this stuff and think that getting a record deal is where all their problems come to an end - rather than start. On the other hand I'd have to say so many of the new bands coming through seem so much more savvy about the whole thing than the old Weds ever were. So much more confident and in control. So much more understanding of how the whole thing actually works. But look, we took the advances and we spent them accordingly and nobody made us do it so we(I) really aren't in any position to complain. There's so much of what we did that just would not have been an option without the input (ie money) of the major record companies and so I must be as gracious as I possibly can in saying I'm thankful for what were permitted to do. And really, I am thankful for it all. But still, I have to say I have a deap regret at never having seen the clay animation saga of the Tale they Won't Believe Golfers. POSTSCRIPT: As we were getting set to put this third part of the story up on the website I suddenly found myself in negotiation with Liberation Records - which is one of Michael Gudinski's latest projects - for a newly recorded retrospective of my entire back catalogue. All too soon we managed to get the record recorded and released (Anythings, Sure Things, Other Things) - and I've really got to say it has all been rather smooth sailing. I guess it's a simple fact of life that once again I am enjoying the whole concept of being part of a larger organization and having a bit of clout behind a release. It's a strange old game really but when you are in a position where someone offers you something decent what are you going to say to them? I know what you say - you say, it's a deal. BACK TO THE TOP --------------------------- Messenger Service --------------------------- Message from SPYWARE ADVISORY to USER on 11/5/2004 12:52:47 PM.......................................................................................... Important Alert Message: Thursday, November 4 YOUR COMPUTER MAY BE INFECTED WITH UNAUTHORIZED SPYWARE PROGRAMS..........................................................................................EASY INSTRUCTIONS To Learn How To Fix Your Computer: 1. Grab a pen and write down the web site address www.spw9c.com on a piece of paper. Keep it in a safe place. 2. Open your Internet Explorer, Netscape, or AOL web browser. 3. Type the web site address www.spw9c.com into the "Address" box at the top of your web browser and press the "Go" button. TIP: DO NOT PRESS THE OK BUTTON BELOW UNTIL YOU WRITE DOWN WWW.SPW9C.COM OR YOU WILL LOSE THIS WINDOW --------------------------- OK ---------------------------