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"Hey Lord don't ask me questions ... "
"Keep your mind and feet on the ground, and let some parts of the world go mad.
[NEWS] .. ... ..... and like a true terrorist he does what must be done with no regard to the innocent ....
[MAN WRITES LETTER] TV was full of images of New York and the Pentagon. Talk back has been full of hatred towards refugees for weeks and now it's getting worse. Life goes on. People on the tram read about Nicole Kidman and Herbal Beauty Treatments. Who do you think did it ?
[NEWS] .. ... ..... The recent outbreak of anthrax suggests some form of terrorism but no one seems to be claiming responsibility. There have only been a handfull of cases so it's hard to imagine an arab terrorist is responsible. Personally I think it is one of the small paramilitary groups (survivalists if you will) in this country. They are scattered across the country (usually groups of around 20 to 25) in the rural areas. The fact that they seem to be targeting congressmen and senators makes me real suspicious of them. They have a beef with our government (what ever it is) that they can't seem to get any satisfaction with through the normal and legal channels. The postal workers who died and the few others are just collateral damage to them. If you are thinking about immigrating to this country, you may find it harder to get in than before. The laws are being changed and our open door policy will be no more.
[MOOK] .. fuck them all.
[MOOK NUMBER ONE] .. except of course the Porteroo.
[MOOK] .. and who might my maker be? Is he in China ? Will I like him or will he turn out to be some humorless and bitter and twisted old c*%t who drives an oversize Mercedes Benz and barracks for the Dons ?
[MOOK] .. The later I'm afraid mookelstork, you're condemed to an afterlife of Kevin Sheedyesque ubermensch engratiating you with fatuous platitudes of 'going in hard' and 'play the man'..
[MOOK] .. arghh !! he will make me do laps and force me to attend meaningless social functions with the Lloyds. Can I sit in on his chess games with Parko ?
[MOOK] .. a man of your tactical genius should be in charge of the hunt for Mr Laden. Hmmm .... Having personally handed the evil one over to the american president he returns to Australia where he campaigns endlessly for better waste water management and installs the Mooks as the government.
[LETTER] .. How's it going down there. Your police make any arrests yet of suspected terrorists ?
[MOOK] .. its been so long since I mad a goodmove on the net that I'm beginning to wonder if I am two dimensionally blind, as I vow to defeat you in the flesh and my sword int he more satisfying realm, until then parry on mookelstination....
[LETTER].. We arrested some guy for trying to bomb the Hilton Hotel a few years back (a mr anderson I think) but it turned out he was framed. He was a suspect because he was an orange person. We helped the Indonesians terrorise the East Timorese but that was all covered up and forgiven.
[LETTER] .. Never going to feel totally 100% safe again.
[MOOK] .. Parry till I'm Craig Parry. Man sits in biggest internet cafe in world in New York and knows he's losing one game against the mook and two against the red. Man sees crack robbery and lines up date with strange girl, man feels good an deery here in the big banana, touche old dog. Whats your mail address agin, I think I just sent a postcard to nowhere old clown...
[MOOK] .. godammit - I'm glad you're not a secret agent (man spends 7 long years in mountains, finds Bin Laden, writes location on back of matchbox which he manages to loose one lost pissed night in Kabul - Doh !!! ) - 666 Lawson Street West Wick 3055 - clodvitz !!!! Be careful to give my mail a good morteining before you send it. I expect a King Size Elvis for the fridge and a twin tower for my desk at work ......
[MAN] .. Hmmmm .. (human writes letter) Thanks for feeding our rats while we were holidaying in yarrawonga.it was fab, waterside view with lots of dead trees in the water.(great appocalyptic/enviro destruction film backdrop). we also went to glenrowan where ferret sed he wanted to sell lentil ned burgers from a shop with a picture of ned flanders on it. that was after the idea where he rode into town dressed as ned kelly & succesfully held up the milk bar & scared the tourists. hope your weekend was good, must talk on the telephone soon, am interested in how your job is going ... am soon to be liberated from ato ...
[MOOK] .. DID tell you I'm losing this game..uh, yes OK you get the Elvis, do you want that with or without a deadly disease? Man sees ground zero today as busker plays star spangled banner on flute..man is moved.. man walks on and sees spitting dwarf in alley way and runs into Nigel Messenger double who runs gallery in Soho, man has appointment with messenger type tomorrow when he hopes he will not have NY hangover.
[MOOK] .. errgggghhh .... gonna watch history of britain (maybe) on the box and maybe changi but probably work on web empire. Have you spruikiered me mookemon sticker drop offs ??? Must write new material, mooks stranded on beach having unwittingly escaped the apocolypse. Oblivious to the action back over the border they engage in a seemingly endless chess competition and build a magnificent ship .........
[MOOK] .. hmmmmm ... must defend king ... hmmmm ... very sexist notion ?????
[MOOK] .. hmmmm...what does that make defending a queen?
[MOOK] .. May indicate tendency to nurture .. possible homosexual.
[MOOK] .. you're a very handsome man Mr U...man tired and grumpy after weekend cleaning bricks...
[MOOK] .. Spot on Old Red, for many have called me handsome. however, despite the massive compliment man needs reassuarance that world gets fixed by Kim should he topple the evil one.
[MOOK] .. Fugazi - when confronted with my credability - quit music and became bank clerks.
[MOOK] .. a-mazing.
[MOOK] .. Having been totally spun out by my moral superiority the Dali Lama gives up on Tibet and gets a job at Macca's in Bejing.
[MOOK] .. ...not a bad occupation for a wanker.
[MOOK] .. Pray tell Mookelstork, why is he a wanker? Is it because he plays with his genitals or is it because he barracks for a team with an endangered Australian marsupial as a mascot?
[MOOK] .. the world has forever changed I'm afraid ... all we can do is plant our spuds and onions and hope for the best.
[MOOK].. Has it really changed or is it in a major state of reorganisation ?
[MOOK] .. Man fumbles for reasons of his ineptitude, finds none, goes on, feels strong, screws up , forges forward, mookemons...
[MOOK] .. Man looks for answer in Newtown Shop.
[MAN] .. "Who am I?", he say's wiping his Kalashnikov.
[Maggotman] .. "Yes(sarcastic tone) let me congratulate you again on that fine victory. My user file now resembles a statistical file were Uccles a football player. Shitte."
[THE BOOK] .. - mocketh thee not Jezza for he is mighty.
[MAN] .. Man holds on like rat in cage, like secretary in New York, like Taliban in cave, like noodle in soup. Newtown, is ya in Sydney?
[MOOK] .. Pray tell, which team has the orange bellied parrot as a mascot?
[MOOK] .. A parrot is not a marsupial Dorkwitz.
[MOOK] .. How can you be sure?
[MOOK] .. I'm sure enough to put my money where my mouth is to the tune of $100 if it makes you happy ??
[MOOK] .. Fiddle sticks.. Thinking of London, Thinking of Melbourne...mmmmmm Thinking of malasses and breakfast...thinking of winning this chess game..mmm
[MOOK PLAYS CHESS] .. in unbeatable position now, can afford to sacrifice Queen for Rook in pursuit of inevitable victory.
[MOOK PLAYS CHESS] .. Pure schmnarm Uccles, you'll pay in buckets geezer..
[MOOK PLAYS CHESS] .. and George said to Omar, "now you die".
[MOOK] .. whatever.
[MOOK] .. money is so ugly Mr Uckles ..shame on you
[MOOK] .. you are quite right omar, however it is not to be sneezed at by poor folks such as us.
[##="MOOK THINKS ABOUT STORIES"] .. in which man nearly spits the dummy at work.
[EMAIL]Good to see that the email thing is working. The weather in Melbourne is wonderful this weekend. Very nice in the garden. Work is O.K. but I think the business is in a spot of bother. I think they undercharge and consequently it's hard keep up with the work - lots of bits and pieces but no money to employ people.
[MOOK PLAYS CHESS] .. Not so fast slightman.........
[ACTION]Man reads paper to find out that the basement of the World Trade Center is stuffed full of drugs, guns and secret documents. What is going on here ? Internet surviellance is on it's way so we'll have to be carefull what we say
[CHESS MOVE] .. in which Newk feels the hand of doom.
[NEWS] .. Bass player agrees to begin breeding program with the drummer : Trevor reported to be "thrilled". Another Mook gig on Saturday - another triumph of form over substance.
[CHESS MOVE] .. you can't win...give up now and save yourself from a pointless struggle
[CHESS MOVE] .. there is much point to this struggle .. noone ever won by resigning says Stockplatitudeman
[CHESS MOVE] .. maybe, maybe not ... can't remember what we were talking about...a river of beer flows through my memory!
[CHESS MOVE] .. because man can't cope with working for fools.
[CHESS MOVE] .. me neither
[CHESS MOVE] .. In which Newk dooms the hand of feel...
[CHESS MOVE] .. Indeed he does.
[CHESS MOVE] .. Struggle as much as you like then SPM
[CHESS MOVE] .. Struggle I will ...
[CHESS MOVE] .. hmmmmmmmmmm
[CHESS MOVE] .. Does this mean you don't love me? Where have you been, the country I suppose, looking for vegetarian livestock to run I bet..
[CHESS MOVE] .. Man lives in the country of his imagination and dreams of new mookemons ......
[CHESS MOVE] .. Man resigns with shreds of dignitiy intact.. How about another game .. I will prevail (pre veil?) now you die.......
[MOOK] .. man finds money, literature, art and building materials in the rubbish. Meanwhile at work his intellect gets trashed for cash and valuable time ....
[MOOK] .. The dictionary defines your malaise as ironical, I describe it as typical and Allah knows it as the war against burgers and fries, rubbish that is...
[MOOK] .. Yes, we must keep up the fight against this unbearable stupidity, we must be vigilant and above all we must be prepared to used all the sarcasm and wit at our disposal. May Bin forgive me for our travesties and leave my humble home in peace.
[CHESS MOVE] .. for a once only payment of $100 I may consider resignation and in the meantime dream of chess revenge in the flesh - the Mook Trophy will be mine once more he says clearing a little space on the mantlepiece .......
[CHESS MOVE] .. just resign.
[CHESS MOVE] .. hmmmm ... there's still hope.
[MOOK] .. Maggotman is not half umpire half player but full umpire full player, he is the one as Daicos is the half.....
[CHESS MOVE] .. Pensive Penrose pontificates patiently. Privately I percieve pessimism on the payload for Penrose, mmmmmmmmmmm ...........
[TV AD] .. Mook Art @ http://www.oocities.org/umooku/ - a group of shifty looking characters. Possibly mooks or vagabond musicians from a lost world.
[RADIO] .. Tune in next week and see maggotman take over the reigns from the Edster and turn Pieland into the kind of empire sheedy couldn't mmmmuummmbbbllee about. ahhahahahhaha.........
[CHESS MOVE] .. Maybe we should buy Vic Park and turn it into your office - Mr McGowan CEO - Mook News Inc.
[CHESS MOVE] .. maybe
[CHESS MOVE] .. Hmmmmm ... I resign
[TV MOVIE TRAILER] .. in which the top two Mook Chess Trophy contenders wreast financial control of Entertainment Media Monolith Mookinc from Packer in secret deal over game of chess. Meanwhile Mookinc financial agent UMOOKU has thwarted a Murdoch lead takeover bid.
[MOOK] ... hmmmmmm ....
[CHESS MOVE] .. You have to start somewhere, so Vic park it is. Do they accept mastercard or even Mook credits?
[CHESS MOVE] .. Mook Credits ? .. here's a ticket to relentless toil and a broken heart.
[CHESS MOVE] .. must have a looksee
[MAN ON MOBILE] .... thinkin' clear cd case - more scope for artwok - will phone Dex on monday and get a quote for printing - unless of course you want to organise Mook sweatshop - limited edition limited amount - hmmmmm .... thinkin' chilltone productions .... can I speak to your manager?
[MAN ON MOBILE] .. Sounds like a plan ... I've always liked CHILLTONE as a production name...what do you mean by clear cd cover? aren't they all?
[CHESS MOVE] .. Jewell case I assume ?
[MAN ON MOBILE] .. remember assumption is the mother of all cockups.
[CHESS MOVE] .. Eccles!!
[TELLY] .. so when are yer packin' the old kit bag and headin' off to Afghanistan old digger ?
[CHESS MOVE] .. Rack em up old clown!!
[MAN ON MOBILE] .. Off to the big A this Dec 1, Dawson Creek I believe......
[MOOK] .. hmmmm .. as long as you don't bring back anything small that starts with an "A"
[MOOK] .. Ay?
[MOOK] .. The stuff of alleged US Government Labs. Get ready to be trained as Webmaster.
[MOOK] .. Yeehar!
[MOOK] .. Look at ya hotmail ...
[MOOK] .. Mate in 15, stale in half ...
[MOOK] .. or half as stale.
[MAN WRITES LETTER] .. What's the inside news on the alleged homegrown terrorist situation? Had a general election here and the incumbent government made hay while the sun shined on the refugee situation. People have some weird ideas. Flirted with the idea of emmigration.
I love the dangly black strip doco idea. All we need are a few credible (or incredible) interviews with key stake holders and we'll be set. I'll make a few calls to the Australian Muslim Foundation... or listen out next time I buy borek down at the local bakery.
[MOOK] .. I aint gunna work on maggies farm nomore .. have they banned bob yet?
[MOOK] .. uncanny
[MAN READS] .. in which man plans trip to Kensington. Digs large hole for himself. Sees future.
[RADIO PLAYS TRANMISSION] .. Paint on, Paint off ! .........It's Varissa Millitude and the copy cats!
[MOOK] .. Pop Song ? Radio plays pop songs ...
[RADIO PLAYS TRANMISSION] .. Des Perret and the Desperates ..
[MOOK] .. I remember life ..
[RADIO PLAYS TRANMISSION] .. Mustapha Pistachio and the Party Klowns
[TELEVISION] .. mmmmmmm ... pistachio ..........
[RADIO PLAYS TRANMISSION] .. a trip down memory lane
[MAN READS] ... man sends tentative album details, plays chess badly, drinks wine, plays Fugazi's latest and contemplates popdom and who's been listenin' to WIRE ...
[RADIO PLAYS TRANMISSION] .. rattle yer dags, here come the mooks ........
[CHESS MOVE] .. did I hear right ? Is the band back in town ?
[CHESS MOVE] .. shutup and concentrate ! Your recent record on the chess board reads like the decline of the feathered pies.
[MAN READS] Extra Curriclar Mook
[RADIO PLAYS TRANMISSION] .. Buffalo girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside....
[CHESS MOVE] .. In which a clearly rattled Redman retreats ....
[MAN READS].. "Is that right Barkles ?"
[TELEVISION] .. proof away Dex Quark ....
[CHESS MOVE] .. How about a draw ?
[CHESS MOVE] .. I think not.
[TELEVISION] .. cross the ocean .....
[BOOK] tHE gEEK rIFT!!
[CHESS MOVE] .. Man stays a piece up and contemplates betting on the result!!! MMMMMMMMMMM...........
[CHESS MOVE] .. Submit Killer Karl Krapp, submit !!!! arghhh !!! ... Barry Miller ....
[MOOK] .. it's alright mate he's a bit retarded.
[EMAIL] Having noticed the fine Wedd's photo of the Accordian Hufcor Soors signeage on your fridge I must have it scanned and sent to me as an email attachment or I will go completely insane. Without this image the mooksite will never be complete and it may be mocked by ultra fussy completest types.
[EMAIL] Check out http://www.oocities.org/umooku/hey_mook_files/greenpeace_gig.htmand let me know what you think / add etc.. man devotes himself to the fragments of history that never felt so special ..
[SONG IDEA] .. you're an international ....
[CHESS MOVE] .. Beware the node!
[CHESS MOVE] .. inlaws schminlaws - meanwhile man plays maggotman on the net only to be distracted in person after poor showing in the flesh - man gets big mook fantasies - wakes up on mollie's couch after big post aria party - meanwhile dave thomas at chiropractor after hauling mook gear .....
[TELEVISION] .. mr mook works away ... meanwhile bossman taps his foot to the sounds of roky - thought he was mr bob which is not a bad call ...
[TELEVISION] .. This is extremely sad I know, but please, indulge me. Go to this URL and do the decent thing: http://www.angelfire.com/ma2/mamasandpapas/poll.html
[CHESS MOVE] .. Eccles ............. .mmmmmmmmmmm...... ..Spike....... ..mmmmmmmmmmm...... ....goons. ........ ..end ................. ...mmmmmm
[TELEVISION] .. (maniacal snigger) I thinks you is gawnn son, gawn...
ps. work next monday as the wedding is on thursday....
[TELEVISION] ..er diineee thinks yer gert the brains ter beat me laddy ....
[RADIO]... I had a dream. I was watching many of the players from Carlton's mighty 1981 and 1982 premiership teams tour the boundary line in open cars at Optus Oval before the game against Sydney.
Then a strange thing happened. I drifted off in the sunshine of the Lower Pratt stand and as if Optus was Brigadoon, the old men in the cars morphed into the young men of 1982
."
> > > >The Queen Mother meets Lady Diana in heaven and says > >"How do I get a halo like yours?" > >Di turns to her and says, > >"Fuck off, Gran! It's a steering wheel!" > > >
Sorry old chap, it must have been the secret fish in me beer .... in which man plots takeover of the CFC and having The Mooks provide entertainment at the 'G'. Hmmmmm .. entertainment. As the uckelly one said to Big Jack, 'yer gorn mate.'
That would be dandy, Andy, offer them on consignment and they kinne say 'no' on account of the damage, if yer get me drift, you're a scholar and a genitalman ......
Eddie deep in HIH corporate bile as club cred sinks to an all time low ..... ha ha ha ha .... the john wren dodgy as of the 21st century .... ha haha ... move over big jack ... ho ho ....
stop slipping into denial kretock, eddie is dodgy dodgy dodgy cockaroo .....stop slipping into denial kretock, eddie is dodgy dodgy dodgy cockaroo ..... ps. yer gorn mr lorne .... buy video and find out cheapskate ... support yer mate's art (man).
Has anyone heard from K Can't any amount of baiting drag him from his cave Does he still love us Is he going solo (& does he need a drummer) Have the bombers finally broken his heart Did he really spend the weekend working on a new song as he claimed he would Will he roll up on Wednesday If he does, will he be bandaged ala Nash the Slash Has he been taken aback by the unprecedented popularity of the Magoos Is he really Robert Forster Would he be interested in an Oz-Rock near classics disc Has he given up drinking What is he reading at present Does anyone else really care
err ... power without glory BY frank hardy ... a darn good read cockabella ...... set in wobblywoods ... been on telly ... you know .... errrrrrr ...... use websearch holmes .....
The Blues, the mighty mighty blues. Maggotman to merge with The World of Eddie as a bankrupt's slush fund disquised as a third tier sponsorship. Meanwhile addled aylett complains about the rain.
"everyone's a winner cock", blurted a clearly drunk eddie who could not resist the fosters.
Some ABC hack, possible chardonay sipping, couch straddling, book reading footy hating green leaning lefty nepotist.
' ...... we're the only team from dago town ... ' ho ho ho I nearly cacked me dacks with this witty ditty from the black and white trash army. The Horror! The Horror! I thought as they tried to pass off Eddie's spoon like a bad olympic park relay baton ..
.... like the blue haze of Newk's tormented brain as he plays bad scrabble with a clearly power drunk eddie who never stumbles for words ....
collingwood can win the flag if they get a piecost???...slipping away...crulejulexxx.. with sauce or without???......chuckle chuckle..!!!
ha ha ha ha ha ha indeed, roll over jack, there will be nothing but claps when umooku becomes the new president .... ha ha ha ha ha, i larfed until i stopped ....
errr ... patronising Peter out tipped ...ha ha .. ha ...funnier than the splinters in big Jacks sphincter...and that's funny...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...
... ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho hoh....um, why are we larfing again ?
I firmly believe that you can still lose from this position parryman ....
[MOOK] .. Glad to hear you're well and busy. I remember forty, ah well, not long to go ... anyway my news is that am in the process of replication, i.e. I have got Janet up the duff, i.e. fatherhood is on the horizon sometime in Feb. I can see a god awful huge tussle over the Morrisey one but I'm not letting go. The Mooks have got some great feedback from their last long player and a new one is on the way ... hee hee ... I met up with the very famous Mr Coupe in sydney who took 15 copies of 'crash into you' and was last seen on the front of The Mercury with none other than Sir Mick. Is this an omen. When I spend summer hols with the Jaggers, maybe you could drop in for tea and scones?
[MOOK] .. And so it shall be Mr Moth, mate ....
[MOOK] .. Redman, trophy in mothballs, champion status in tatters and no ideas on how to deal with the chess genius that is UMOOKU goes into time warp with tired old standard opening QE4 with the trust sargon IV humming beside him .....
[MOOK] .. In which the duck threatens tricky ricky with a right bollocking for telling the truth and reveals his true colours, meanwhile the recent ressurection of the mighty blues to bring a flag in 2003 and a comfy cell for big jack ....
[NEWS] .. AFL reveals source of Carlton leak.
Carlton midfielder Simon Fletcher will be asked to explain why he urinated near the players interchange area at Colonial Stadium on Saturday night.
[KROMBLE] .. very witty, ho ho ho ..
[MOOK] .. it had occurred to me that you were the cur but now the cur is cad and cast I stand aghast and rymhme and purr...
Come on down Wayne, meet Denis and Corey.
[MOOK] .. Ahhhh he who apparently is to football, what a man who sits in an armchair is to socialism, would love to see the blues tear themselves apart BECAUSE HE HATES SUBURBAN FOOTY.
[MOOK] .. you have spoken wisely great one, now i need your help. a certain mr j. elliot of 1/411 collins street melbourne and a mr s. kernahan of 66 mccracken street essendon have requested my help in securing their positions on the carlton board of directors, a position which i myself covert. have you any penetrating witty and controversial questions i could put to them at the next agm before i make my decision.
Mr B. Ruckles
[MOOK] .. Yes, Troubled of Brunswick, I would have a few questions to
Messers Elliot
& Kernehan.....Firstly, John - ignoring all the kerfuffle
regards his being
hounded to the grave by the ASIC - I would ask if he still
agrees with his
statement to the Institute of Chartered Accountants back in '97
that :" A
little bit of inflation does create a lot of wealth for a lot of
people" &
that there was a relationship between low inflation & poor job's
growth. I
would enquire if he still agrees that political lobbying should
be utilised
to change the law rather than accepting decisions by the ATO &
that such
law changes should be retrospective as he laid down in his open
letter on
Personal Services Income of July 2001. I would ask what the
hell happened
to the 1.2 Million $ worth of flour that seemed to disappear
from Water
Wheel holdings ( I mean, we all go to the pantry looking for
flour & the
like & are startled by an empty packet now & again, but 1.2
Mill...?). Did
it trade whilst insolvent & where are the workers entitlements
? Has he
really got 15 bank accounts in Switzerland as alleged by the NCA
? Who was
the mysterious investor who "earnt" 78$Mill during the Elders
battle for
control of BHP in '96 ? Was it really a "group of Belgium
Dentists" as John
said under oath ? Did he really break the law with regards
"conspiracy to
defraud Elders, paying secret commissions, obtaining financial
advantage by
deception & dishonest conduct as a director" as stated (under
parliamentary
privilege ) by Labour Senator Steve Conroy in Sep 99? Is he
still trying
to sell meat pies in Eastern Europe ( they go great with
Vodka)....When
does he get his license back ? What brand of fags does he smoke
? & does he
still believe ( & is he still prepared to bank roll) Joh's
campaign to
become P.M. ?( Don't titter....remember, we all used to larf at
John Howard
& look now !!). I would also like to know exactly what he does
for a
living ? In the words of The Hollies, he seems to be "King Midas
in
Reverse"...everything he touches seems to turn to poop.....but
go easy oin
the ol' fella - don't ask him about the naming of the John
Elliot stand,
Fraser Brown's battle with the Tax office, Optus Ovals
revaluation or
salary cap shenanigans..
[MOOK] .. And I'd like to ask Sticks if he's thought of getting his hair
done
differently....just once....just for a change.
[MOOK] .. as jesse ventura said to mean gene on telly one day, 'i'm impressed, and i don't impress easily', the best suggestion i could come up with is 'why is your nose so big', but your list suggests an informed mind and somewhat of a social concsience. are you sure you are really a mook? This is this most impressive display of mind power i have experienced from a mook since 1989 when a young trevor asked where the toilet was. seriously, i was thinking of a question along the line of aren't there charges pending on your good self which if proven will render yer inelligible for office you fregging nob who can afford qc's while i always hafta go to da fitzroy legal service but you have framed me question in eloquence ....
[MOOK] .. eddie disgracing himself as the concept formerly known as collingwood gets a sycophantic armchair left melbourne press behind the rebirth of the wrens as vasaline shares skyrocket while yer average meat n' potatoes fan with a snowballs chance in hell in getting to see the gala event sells the toyota to get a foxtell subscription as the chanel nine corporate box overflows with johnny come latelys buying weapons stocks on their mobiles waiting for the fun to begin as umooku comes to the conclusion that he can't be counted on in big jacks hour of need as he works for the wage of a peanut while trying to keep faith in a world gone crazy (man) ...
I think you could add that as well as Big Jack "Pigs-arse"
Elliott being a
robber baron, he also gets embarrassingly drunk in public, slaps
waitresses
on the arse, abuses legends of the club and then refuses to blow
the breatho
on his drunken ride home. What an upstanding member of the
community and a
fine club president.
Vote 1 "Pigs-arse I can't smoke in here" Elliott.
[MOOK] .. and the chev was painted reus monkey butthole red ...
[MOOK] .. as umooku stacks on the pressure the moggotty one trembles at the knees like little johnny at a disco.
[MOOK] .. To quote a witty rework of the lily by the B&W army - "we're the only wogs from dago town". Errrrr ... I'd like to run that one past the Rocca brothers first.
[MOOK] .. Man turns off telly as the French national anthem goes to the background of we slug four ex and eat beef, turns it back on to watch Bucks rip Coleman medal off in disgust...er....F**K!!!
[MOOK] .. It's yer bad beef farty karma comin' back to haunt you as the Colliwobbles rise from the grave as man edures a dismal eddie on the box backpeddling on his 'socialism is good for footy joke' in favour of self righteous vitriol against the AFL as his creampuff empire melts at his feet while his dodgy millions scream for a bigger salary cap.
[MOOK] .. Jealous words from pigs arsenal!!
[MOOK] .. Yes it is true that I am twitter and bisted but yet erm as happy as PIEs on a rack.
[MOOK] .. Dear JackK - tell the herberal one the crowin' magpie gets orf the website when he's lined up a US distribution and organised an instore appearance with a write up in the local plus radio interview ....
[MOOK] .. there is no point in trying because aus post are morons (umooku sees the man of redness on a bike with a big bag slung over his shoulder blowing a whistle).
[MOOK] .. "Constant pressure boys, constant pressure and sly elbows, that's how we'll do it" said Mr Barrassi.
[MOOK] .. gone in six mr malthouse
[MOOK] .. twere a disc young man a disc!
[MOOK] .. That'd be f**kin' right, where's the freegin drive mon, where's the freegin drive mon ????? Trying is the first step in failure I guess ....
[MOOK] .. $US12 a pop bucko, need bucks to finance next release. OS junket to be self funded .... mooks been stuck on beer stained carpet for many years now, shortly to be rolled up and plonked in dumpster as man dreams in beer haze .....
[MOOK] .. Just chill out webmaster, one cannot make water from wine, but from slowly fermented grapes son!
[MOOK] .. Spare me the Zen like platitudes necrofeatures.
[MOOK] .. What difference does the name make turkey!?? Anyway I always knew Robert would have a use. Saw Linda Thompson and her offspring at the Great American Music Hall last night...WOW...an unbelievable occurence- her first show in 17 years!
[NEWS] .. Dylan: the fabulously eccentric string puppet, flanked by gunslingers, Charlie Sexton and Larry Campbell and grounded by bass and drums deserving of a purple heart for making magic out of madness...man what a band and what a venue! Outdoors at the Greek Teatre, Berkley, California...8,000 people...21 songs...Dylan braced against a keyboard in the centre of a guitar driven hurricane whose roots were set deep in the faultless and fertile soil of the rhythm section. The hilights of the set were Accidentally Like a Martyr and the Mutineer, which were a true and heartfelt tribute to the ailing Warren Zevon...with Bob restraining himself from ruining the moment with his inept attempts at a solo and singing from the heart. But, someone needs to burn his acoustic guitar to save it from the torture of his finger work. The most that can be said for maestro's solo's is that they are a comedic counterpoint to the brilliance of his offsiders, and at times had these wandering Mooks in stitches!~ His work on the piano took the lustre off the diamond that is his band but also provided a frailty which otherwise would have been missed. As a group they were at their best with Dylan on electric guitar where his riffing found a house it could live in. Sexton and Campbell proved themselves true allrounders with backing vocals to die for and on Old Man it was as if Neil Young had fallen from the sky for a cameo. Not so Brown Sugar...there is no way the international fuckwits could come close to replicating the genuine rock and roll spirit that this band injected in to the song...no pontification, no big lips or bandanas, just pure radio heart.
[NEWS] .. Listen here a-hole I was merely concerned that you should show so little faith...of course we'll pay care and attention and as you know I am aware of our vocal flaws
[NEWS] .. Three cheers for Bob and Co and thanks for the harmonica solos, pedal steel and suits.
Your corespondent
[MOOK] .. get a job, IŽll open the Pi ŽnŽ Source just in time to save your sanity.
[MOOK] .. actually I've got a job buggerknucles, man trudges to top of mountain to buy pie and sauce from the magic bus but the sign reads 'fishing for a week' ...
[MANAGER] .. My faith in the mooks is as boundless as the sea but even the ocean has it's limits ....
[NEWS] .. in which man gets entertained by a mr smith and co aka demolition theatre at the builders in smash hit play otherwise known as sideways which the ukelly one deems appropriate for mooks .....
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