thoughts5

Years ago, when my two oldest children were young, I was a stay at home mom and housewife most of the years that I raised my children. However, I did like to work on part time jobs here and there in order to make a little extra cash for Christmas or items that I might have wanted or needed for the children or household, or for presents for my husband so that he didn't have to pay for his own gift that I gave to him on birthdays or Christmas. As my children grew older, I held a position full time here and there.
I worked several times over the years as an avon representative, a tupperwear dealer, and a few other door-to-door or home party companies.
I also had a few rather impressive and more respected positions; such as a part-time and substitute veteranarian assistant, a health-start class for the underprivileged pre-school children, and in more recent years have managed a small town propane gas company, worked as a volunteer treasurer's assistant, and owned my own country video store.
I also taught children in primary classes at church and at times visited women and children in their homes delivering church messages or inquiring if any assistance from the church was needed. I once taught a class on family disaster preparedness. I was often called upon to do artwork, murals, flyers, program covers, and even a billboard or two. I have babysat as many as ten children at a time in a very organized and happy situation with children that hated to leave at the end of the day. I have worked in Convenience Shops, restaurants and tried my hand at flea market rental booth sales, buying and reselling.
All in all, I had to face the public or other people, and often had to deal with groups of children or adults, many times having to stand before a crowd of thirty or more people.
I am diverse in a way that I can sit and play on the floor with children
or "fit in" with teen agers and their musics and styles, to having an intellectual conversation about theoretical philosophical subjects with
adults interested in the sciences, philosophy, psychology or psychiatry.
I am spiritual by nature, but have my own personal religious convictions after belonging to and being active in several different Christian organizations. I now and have always had, very strong spiritual energy.
Sound like an extrovert, into-the-public person, or active socialite?
Not the case....
I grew up being an extremely shy, to myself, introverted, child, to a reclusive-by-nature-loner that is easily stressed by changes, people, appts., company, and recently diagnosed as having a bi-polar chemical imbalance.
I have always forced myself to function around other people and do have quite a strong love for people, and love to share my opinion or give advice when asked for help. Therefore, I have had many, many, people turn to me in time of need, primarily teens or young adults, who I seem to have a good chemistry with. I am often approached again and again, so therefore must be giving helpful advice. I want things to be perfect and do not seem happy or relaxed until things are in order. I find I have low tolerance for error or mistakes, or for rude or inconsiderate people.
In the last few years I have become disabled, which makes it impossible for me to achieve the perfection I have always seeked and desired.
Therefore, I am touchy and not always at ease like I would hope to be.
It would be very easy for me to go for days without seeing another person, and weeks, even monthes, without leaving the house, as long as I have desk or office work to accomplish, books to read, a television and a computer.
Being around people is the hardest work or job I have ever had to do...
Yet I know the importance of people and contact and force myself;
I always have....