Here is my initial bulleted outline of the plot for my first novel, Unsung Hero. I would very much appreciate any comments you might have. You can e-mail them to me, or just post a comment on my Criticism Board.
Plot Structure - Unsung Hero by Rory Frederick
- Exposition and Setup
- "hero" is working to bring relationship back from bring of disaster
- is lower middle class
- lives in a shitty neighborhood - full of drug dealers, gangs, and crooked cops
- tries to keep to himself
- doesn't stand up for himself when bullied
- Temperature Rising
- "hero" goes to a bar to release stress from difficulties with work and relationship
- a local purse snatcher gets drunk and starts fucking with him
- he stands up for himself by talking shit back
- the purse snatcher backs down and leaves
- on his way to his car, the "hero" is jumped by the purse snatcher and badly beaten
- he tries to walk to a hospital that is a few blocks away, delirious from pain and a concussion
- he stumbles on a group of preppies outside a trendy club, asking them for help
- they look at him like a homeless vagrant, refusing to help him
- finally, he makes it to the hospital
- Boiling Water
- the cops who talk to him seem highly uncaring - don't even take notes on what he says
- they tell him there is little hope that they'll capture the culprit
- he is finally released from the hospital and returns home
- A Sad Homecoming
- he returns home, only to be informed his girlfriend was raped and beaten the night before
- he rushes back to the hospital to see her
- she is in emergency surgery, and dies before he can talk to her
- the police, again, offer little hope, but they do give him a description - it matches the description of the purse snatcher
- the local newspaper puts only a tiny blurb on a well-buried page of the Metro section about the girls death - her neighbors make disparraging comments
- only the "hero" and his g.f.'s family show up to the funeral, none of their friends do
- Meltdown or The Start of Something Bad
- overcome with fury and sorrow, the "hero" purchases a makeshift weapon
- he tracks down the purse snatcher - who lives in a pretty nice house in a ritzy neighborhood, funded solely by thieving and burglary
- he kills the purse snatcher, leaving a calling card
- finds a pistol on the purse snatcher's body
- media and police begin to pay attention
- media take note because of prestigious neighborhood
- neighbors call purse snatcher a good guy
- police call it "the start of something bad"
- media does a half page spread on famous serial killers
- Going the Distance
- "hero" begins to plan his next kill
- picks a drug dealer who works in a different area of town
- plans to throw off cops b/c serial killers generally start close to home
- uses a gun taken from purse snatcher to kill dealer and four of his cronies
- only leaves calling card on the dealer
- media and police pay no attention to these killings - street violence
- A Moral Imperative
- begins to target more "sinful" criminals, and not just sleazy bullies
- kills a rapist in a park before he can start to rape his helpless victim
- leaves a calling card
- media all over it because he's obviously a serial killer - barely mention that his victim was a rapist
- Corruption, Ambush, a New Friend
- the cartels who supplied the dealer victim push their crooked cops to setup a sting
- the police leak reports of a serial rapist striking in parking lots of malls after closing
- "hero" begins to stake out a poorly lit parking structure hoping to catch him
- cops send in sting unit, female cop "victim" not working for cartels, male cop "rapist" working for cartels
- "hero" attacks "rapist"
- "victim" yells, "Freeze! Police!"
- "hero" stops attacking and starts to run, not wanting to injure a cop
- "victim" stuns "hero" with a tazer
- "rapist" says, "This is for [insert drug dealer's name]." as he takes aim to shoot "hero" in the head
- "victim" knocks out "rapist," causing his shot to only graze "hero's" arm
- A New Friend
- "victim" talks to "hero," briefly, realizing the corruption in the force
- "victim" offers to help uncover conspiracy
- "victim" gives "hero" a business card and lets him escape, although he is wounded and cops are hot in pursuit
- Desperate Measures
- "hero," wounded and pursued, breaks into a house, taking female occupant hostage
- cops cannot locate him
- hostage realizes who he is from description in media
- hostage begins asking why he does what he does
- "hero" and hostage talk, hostage gains understanding and some sympathy
- hostage tends to "hero's" wound
- "hero" tells hostage he meant no harm, and explains his story in further detail - the two grow more friendly
- Public Enemy No. 1
- media uses attack on police officers to justify their opinions of the "vigilante killer"
- police call him a "menace"
- public outcry for his capture
- A Copycat is Born
- only knowing what the media says, a psychopath begins to mimic the "hero"
- copycat believes he understands "hero"
- believes they are soul mates
- starts out targeting same type of people as "hero"
- the two meet and work together to kill a serial rapist
- Copycat Control Issues
- Copycat begins to view "hero" as weak
- kills people based on perceived sin or wrong-doing
- confronts "hero" when they both are working on the same target
- calls him weak, says his view of "evil" are too narrow
- after this meeting, copycat watches a rapist rape a 14 year old girl, then kills the rapist and the girl (for being unclean/impure)
- "hero" is blamed for the murders of the copycat
- media, police, and public all clamor for "hero's" blood
- America's Most Hated
- "hero" begins to hunt copycat, trying to pick the same targets
- eventually the two confront each other and a struggle ensues
- copycat's target attacks "hero," allowing copycat to escape when he is losing the fight
- "hero" kills target, a wanted child molester
- copycat begins stalking/hunting "hero - discovers hero's friend from the home invasion
- copycat views ally as the reason for weakness in "hero"
- Cat and Mouse
- "hero" tries to track copycat, copycat tracks ally
- copycat learns ally's schedule, plants explosives on her morning bus to work
- copycat hijacks bus
- media becomes aware and starts broadcasting all over channels
- FBI mobilize, thinking it's a terrorist
- The Coming Storm
- "hero" manages to get onto bus before FBI can close in
- media becomes aware that he is on the bus
- copycat + "hero" at stalemate on bus
- copycat takes bus to a remote truckstop and parks in a gas station
- Tense Negotiations or A Dangerous Combination
- FBI and media crews swarm to the site, hot in pursuit of the story and the criminals
- FBI negotiator tries to negotiate for hostages
- copycat and "hero" negotiating with each other over how to settle things
- media begins trying to negotiate over bus radio for exclusive rights to the story
- truth about copycat begins to come out, both are being called terrorists and serial killers
- a corrupt FBI sniper tries to take out "hero" - causes confusion and a struggle ensues
- copycat tries to blow bus
- "hero" struggles with him to keep him from killing everyone
- "hero" screams for hostages to run
- hostages book from the bus, the ally trying to stay behind
- "hero" screams for her to get off the bus while he and copycat struggle to get to the detonator
- ally gets off the bus and runs
- A Fatal Mistake
- FBI Negotiator tries to board
- "hero," unwilling to let anyone else steal his glorious death or victory, kicks the Negotiator, trying to get him clear of the bus
- Negotiator grabs onto "hero's" leg, pulling him off of copycat for a brief moment
- "hero" kicks at Negotiator, knocking him out of the bus
- Negotiator, outside the bus, runs his ass off
- because of the distraction from the Negotiator, copycat is able to grab the remote detonator
- copycat and "hero" have a brief discussion about who is right
- "hero" rushes copycat, copycat goes to trigger remote
- Reality (the last seconds, outside)
- media and police have poor view of inside of bus
- the masses see "hero" rush copycat
- they see the two standing, face-to-face
- there is a brief struggle and both fall from view
- the bus explodes
- "hero's" allies weep
- Delusion (the last seconds, inside)
- "hero" grabs copycat's hand, breaking it, and knocking the trigger to the ground
- "hero", holding copycat's shattered hand in his, speaks to him, mocking his stupidity
- copycat, enraged, struggles, both fall to ground
- "hero" grabs copycat by the hair, pulling with all his might and snapping his neck
- "hero" picks up the detonator, peaks outside to make sure no one is within range of the blast and pulls the trigger
- Hero's Song - the Memorial
- media call "hero" a hero
- there is a giant memorial for him
- hundreds of people gather to "mourn" for him
Comments can be sent to the author.
© 2003 Rory Frederick