DAY 5

Kids,

Greetings for the last time from California!!

I'll be leaving the land of nuts and flakes tomorrow morning. In the meantime, in case you can't sleep or something, here's a little updated travelogue....

Monday morning I met a remarkable young man named Ted. He runs a "terrorific" (sorry...couldn't resist) web site devoted to the Halloween Haunt at Knott's. We spent a good long lunchtime sharing stories, rumors, memoribilia, and basically started a mutual admiration society that would've instantly turned you diabetic. I had a great time hanging out with him, and hope I can do it again sometime soon. If y'all get a chance, check out http://www.ultimatehaunt.com and see what the talented lad has put together. You rock, Ted!

I spent the rest of Monday at Knott's. It's weird walking into an amusement park that you know like the back of your hand. I've been going here for most of my life, at least once or twice a year, and it's comforting to see how much of it is the same, year after year: the weathered old buildings of Ghost Town, the wrinkly, dusty rocks of the Log Ride and the Calico Mine Ride, the incredibly corny jokes of the Haunted Shack.

I was talking to my mother about this, and I think the reason that I enjoy Knott's slightly more than Disneyland is that everything's a little more casual at Knott's: the employees are a little more free to joke around, the rides aren't as polished, the pace isn't as frantic. Just feels like home everytime I show up.

Ghostrider continues to be the best wooden roller coaster I've ever been on, hands down. It's fast, has sharp turns and deep drops, and, against all laws of physics, seems to speed up and get even faster as the ride nears its finish. By the last 360 degree helix (at about a million mph) I'm hanging on for dear life and laughing my fool head off.

Perilous Plunge is a new ride that should be opening up there soon. It's a simple water ride, where you climb in a boat (with restraints...) go up a hill (about 120 feet) make a u-turn then go down another hill. That last hill is about a 75 degree angle. When you eyeball it, it looks closer to 90. Huge splash waves are expected.

Spent some time in Camp Snoopy watching the 2-foot long Koi fish lazily swim in their pond. Oddly hypnotic, those fish. Flashes of orange and black and silver and pure snowy white underneath the rippling water. I'd like to think I was only there for a few minutes, but I really can't be sure. Kind of nice to lose sense of time like that at an amusement park. Very relaxing.

Right next to the pond, Snoopy was posing for pictures. Lots of people came up to pose with the famous beagle. I forget how popular this character is--there were a number of kids with indeterminate accents yelling "Snoo-PAY!! Snoo-PAY!!" all clamoring to get their picture taken.

Knott's has tried very hard (and mostly succeeded) in giving the Native American experience in the Old West its proper due. The Mystery Lodge is one of the ways it does this. I had never been there before, and wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I highly recommend it. You first walk into a small waiting area. No chairs, so people sat on the carpet. There is a representation of a long house on one side, backed by plywood cut-out trees in silhouette. "Oh great," thought I. "Is this what Native Americans have been reduced to? Tacky presentations amidst cardboard trees at an amusement park?? Sheesh!" Then we were led in to the main auditorium. I became even more cynical.

The audience is seated on benches, facing a huge wall made up of 6 or 7 large panes of glass. It is, literally, like looking into an exhibit at the zoo. "Nothing good can come of this," thought I, and not for the first time.

Then...then...Magic.

It's that simple. I was captivated, I was enchanted, and I thought it was incredibly respectful to the Native American people. And, no, I'm not going to describe it here. All I will say is that I sat there on a hard bench for over 10 minutes and never once did I take my eyes off of what was happening on the other side of the glass.

Knott's wins, hands down. Where else can you ride an authentic stagecoach on a daily basis?

Disneyland....Tuesday I went to the Happiest Place on Earth. Since we've all been there so many times, here are some quick thoughts:

Parking--$7.00

Admission (one day)--$41.00

Not waiting in line by using the Fastpass--priceless

By the way, are there NO white socks for sale in all of Europe?

It was refreshing and quite nice to visit the Haunted Mansion and have NOBODY recite the narration in the elevator gallery. Yes, we ALL know that there are no windows, and no doors. There are still some people who haven't heard it yet. Be nice.

Over in Mickey's Toontown, there is a place that looks as if a safe has fallen from one of the buildings. The safe is imbedded in the ground and there are broken pieces of concrete there. A mother is trying to create a funny picture by putting her 8 year old son's legs right next to the safe, so it looks as if it's fallen on him. However, the son is less than enthusiastic about the whole thing. He looks rather pissed off, matter of fact. Might be the way his mother is dragging him around by the arms and legs on the hot cement that is causing his anguish. "No, HERE, Jeffery--put your (yank) legs (drag) HERE! MOVE!!"

On the train: a very proper British woman is trying to get a picture of her three kids. The girl is sitting with her hands folded, smiling for the camera. the two boys are beating the crap out of each other, hitting, slapping, and the mother just keeps saying (imagine the accent for me), "Nicholas...Nicky...can I get a photo? Nicky, honey...can Mummy get a photo? Just one photo? Can I get a photo?"

Whew! I just took a look at this thing. Sorry it turned out so long. It'll have to hold you for a few days. My plan is to skip Vegas, and go directly to Phoenix tomorrow. I10 seems a nice direct route. I'll pass through Blythe. Can't wait. Maybe New Mexico by Sunday or Monday. A couple of days there, then Texas.

Hasta,

--Mike